Arthur Kirkland, United Kingdom, Pirate
by Zantetsuken Reverse
Summary: Years ago, Arthur Kirkland was a bin was his cabin girl. Now, he's back, with almost no memory, and one enigma- why does he look the same? His quest with the Straw Hats for his memory begins! Rated T for France. Both country and human names used. Warning: First fanfiction, not very good. Everyone is OOC.
1. Chapter 1

My first time writing Hetalia! Just so you know, I try to keep the amount of nations here down, so that no one gets confused (including me!). So far, only the Axis and Allied forces will appear, plus Finland for Christmas (If I ever write one) and Sealand. I don't know most of the countries' human names, and I can't remember most of their last names, so I'll refer to them as their country names, except for England. His name is Arthur Kirkland, for those of you who don't know.

You see, this idea came in my head a little while ago, when England revealed that he used to be a pirate, and… it just happened. Originally, the last person to see him was an OC named Michael, but then I realized how much I hated OCs, so I changed it to Robin. Oh, yeah, I hate to do this, but England's old crew have got to be OCs. Don't worry, they only appear in flashbacks, you don't have to remember them.

Disclaimer- If I owned Hetalia or One piece, then why would I spend my time writing fanfics for free when I could be selling them?

Arthur Kirkland, Pirate

"Cap'n!" A young girl no older than ten grasped the pant leg of a man with huge eyebrows. "Don't go!" she begged, all the desperation showing on her face. Cap'n was the only person to show me kindness after that admiral guy! Why was he leaving? Who needed him so much? "I need you too!"

The man faced her, grim determination set on his face. "I have to go," he said in his odd accent. His body was scarred with cuts and burns, and he couldn't last a minute in another battle.

FLASHBACK TO A WEEK AGO

"The Jack Pirates have another victory! Now let's drink some rum!" The first mate, Rubby, held his glass high and swung it down his throat. "Ey, why don't you have a drink too, Cap'n?"

The captain, still sober but never one to say no to a drink, scowled and downed his first tankard. His front lasted all of five seconds, until he began to babble nonsense. "Henry… you didn't have to kill her… You… I hate you, John! ... Taxes will be up by… Dumbledora the Explora… I can't believe John's dead, either, Paul… Sniff. Little brother!" [1]. Most pirates followed the man who could hold his own the most with liquor, but not the Jacks. Their captain always suffered a hangover for hours after drinking, when he woke up.

And I had to pick him up. I was the cabin boy, picked up by the captain when I tried to find anyone who could take me in. Well, cabin girl, if you want to be picky. The crew members were… rough, but kindly, except for one man who bullied some of the others, and kissed up to the Cap'n. The next time we hit land, the Cap'n tied him up and hung him by the ankles in the pub, and stuck a note that said that he was fired.

But the Cap'n… he trusted me as much as any of his mates, despite me being from Ohara. I remember that once I got the nerve to tell him, he had said, "Well if they think that you're a demon's child, wait til they get a look at my basement," I went in there once, and I left immediately. He had chalked a glowing pentangle on the floor, and candles surrounded it. I thought that I saw a man's head in there. I had a bad feeling about it, so I left. But whenever he had passed out from drinking, I had to carry him back to his cabin. From what I saw of it, it was as simple as the crew's quarters, with the inclusion of a desk with an old album and a journal on it. I looked at the album once when Cap'n was unconscious, and the one thing at I could say was that it was interesting. I found one where he was glaring at a black-haired man. I never asked about it.

But today, it was too dark to read, and Cap'n was heavy tonight. He muttered something about tea, and I set him down on the hammock. I didn't think much of it, and I began to walk away.

He grabbed my collar. "R-Robin…" He lost all traces of being drunk. Instead, his sleepy expression was replaced by a haunted gaze. Blood dripped from his arms. I gasped. He wasn't hurt at all during the raid! Sure, he was nicked by a few sabers, but nothing that would cause this much blood! "I have to go back… th-they need me!" I had no idea what he was talking about, but I lay him down, and let him rest. It was then that I noticed the burns. But we never went near fire! The next day, Cap'n gave us all a shocking announcement

He was leaving. We were to sail back to the last island we visited that we did not pillage, and he was going to do something.

FLASHBACK END

"Cap'n!" He was stepping into a circle that he chalked himself, the stopped.

"Robin," he said simply, but with great emotion. He was crying. He stooped down to hug me. "I'll be back someday. Just please, don't follow me!" Those were the last words he spoke to me. I obeyed, and went back to the ship.

LINEBREAK XXX

From that day onward, the crew lost all heart. Nothing was the same without the Cap'n. We pillaged, we looted, we even drank that tea that he left behind. Life was bleak without him. Eventually, the crew disbanded. I went with Helen, the only other woman on the ship, but she died of an unknown illness. I was sent to the orphanage, but the woman there sent for the Marines to catch me. I was a drifter. When Crocodile took me in, I thought that he would be the center of my life, like Cap'n. I was wrong.

Luffy accepting me as a member of his crew was the best day of my life since Cap'n found me. But I never forgot him. "Captain Arthur Kirkland," I whispered out loud.

DONE!

Like it? I'll write more, just wait!

[1] All those things that drunken England said happened, except for the Dumbledora part. Henry- Henry the VIII, who killed his second and fifth wives, he could mean either one. John- the bad king of England. If you want to know what he did, look it up. Taxes- references Britain taxing America, all those taxes… John and Paul- John Lennon and Paul McCartney, John was shot by a crazy fan. Little brother- America!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! Did you know that Japan's name written in kanji (characters) means, literally, 'sun' and 'root'? That's probably why it's called 'the land of the rising sun'. At least, I think that that's what it is.

Note- this takes place before the timeskip, right before the Thriller Bark Arc. If you can't remember, Robin joined, showed her feelings to the crew, and Brooke hasn't made an appearance yet. Also, I try to stay civil, so there will be as little cursing as possible. HOWEVER: I don't know what is a curse word in Britain, so if I write something that counts as a swear word, sorry. But I'm keeping 'bloody hell', since it's a starting point for an accent.

Disclaimer- I don't own Hetalia or One piece. If I did, it would be much worse. I don't know history!

Arthur Kirkland, Pirate

Robin POV (Sorry if she is OOC!)

Today was another good day on the Thousand Sunny. Sanji was cooking sea beast meat, the sea was reasonable calm, and Nami said that we would arrive in half an hour. And Luffy's favorite spot was warm and cozy.

"Ah… Hey Sanji, how's it going?" Luffy called from his perch.

"Can't you just wait for one more minute? You can't rush cooking!" Sanji waved around a frying pan to emphasize his point.

I smiled. This was just like the old days, with Cap'n. Every day, he went to cook something that he called scones, and every day, the crew threw them overboard when he wasn't looking. I was just about the only person who could eat what he called 'food'. Luckily, Sanji could actually cook, not just throw flour and rat poison into a bowl and bake.

"You're actually smiling," Nami sat down next to me. "That's a good sign. I mean, after what happened, you still have a reason to live, right?"

Since when was she so perceptive? I decided to answer. "Yes. Erm, Nami?"

"Yes?"

"I… I'm remembering one of my old captains. I still call him Cap'n… Nami, is it alright to keep calling him that? Luffy is our captain, after all,"

"Was he..." she searched for a word, "A good captain?"

I nodded.

"Then you definitely should! Both Luffy and your old captain are your captains, right?"

I shifted uneasily. "He… he had to leave the ship. He never told any of us the reason why, but we disbanded in the end."

"Oh… By the way, what was his name? One of us might have seen him sometime. You should ask!"

"His name… was Arthur Kirkland,"

Everyone except Luffy turned to me.

"Kirkland! The Legendary Arthur Kirkland?" Ussop shot me a shocked look.

"The guy with huge eyebrows?" The one detail that would interest Zolo. Not his fame, not his plunder, but his eyebrows.

"They were pretty big," I admitted.

"Don't talk like that! He was one of the Yonko [1]!" Chopper was exited by now, but his body language told me that he was mainly interested in his eyebrows too.

"Wow, was he like Shanks?" Luffy stared at the sky.

"He couldn't hold his liquor, though," I laughed. All those memories of him passing out came back to me, "I had to carry him back to his room,"

"Really? I would have thought that all the other pirate captains would be the best at drinking," Nami said with a hint of self-satisfaction.

Sanji looked abashed by that comment. "A lady had to carry him back to his room? When I get to him-"

"I was only ten, nothing to worry about,"

"But still…"

"Look! Land!" Luffy pointed straight ahead. Wasn't that…

"That's the island where Cap'n left!" I exclaimed.

LINEBREAK DOESN'T WORK

"So you think that he might still be here?" Nami asked. Sanji had gone to buy supplies with Chopper and Frankie, Ussop needed some stuff for his inventions, Zolo had stayed on the ship since he would have gotten lost, and Luffy went searching for the nearest restaurant, so that left me and Nami to shop for whatever we could find.

"No," I said firmly. "Cap'n didn't settle down. He wouldn't have abandoned us for that. I saw him go into a circle… and he vanished," I know I was being selfish, saying those words, but the crew was his family. He must have had a reason.

"Okay, so can we go buy something then? There's no point in stressing about it," I saw her point, and walked into the next store with her. Inside, the shelves were lined with books, on any subject imaginable. A map of the East blue covered to wall on the right.

"Wow," said Nami, clearly impressed. Who wouldn't be, with all those Geography books, and that huge map? She walked over to the Geography section, and began to read. I found a good mystery novel, and sat down on the bench.

"Robin?" Nami said after what seemed like hours.

"Yes?" I kept my eyes on the book.

"Shouldn't we be going now?" I shot up. I forgot the time!

"These books, and quick!" Nami thrust her books toward the seller. I set mine down next to hers.

"That'll be 6958 berry," the cashier said.

"I'll give you 5000," said Nami.

"Well, you won't be getting your books then, you bloody-!" I stared at the guy for a long second. Did he just say bloody? He noticed his slip-up, and then looked me in the eye, too.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Nami broke the silence.

"C-Cap'n?"

"Robin?"

DONE!

I originally had Arthur lying on the ground, passed out and drunk, but then this is what came out. I figured that this would work, since I don't think that he'd pass out drunk in the middle of the day.

[1] Yonko- four kings, the group of four that Shanks and Whitebeard are a part of?


	3. Chapter 3

I lied. The other Nation's human names will appear. But still, I'm only referring to them by their first names, unless they're introducing themselves. So, to get those of you who don't know their names;

America- Alfred

Canada- Mathew

France- Francis (easy, huh?)

China- Yao

Russia- Ivan

Itay- Feliciano

South Italy/Romano- Lovino (I just realized how much I liked his character!)

Spain- Antonio

Germany- Ludwig (Like the composer that he says is German, while Austria says is Austrian)

Japan- Kiku (Yes, Kiku. Doesn't sound very Japanese to me.)

Sealand- Peter

So, basically, their names are used in their countries.

While I'm at it, the D-word will be used, since a non-curse word wouldn't convey strong feelings, but nothing beyond that. Plus, even though I hate it when fanfic writers make characters say something that they normally wouldn't (For example, America saying "Why do you have such an animosity toward that kid" (Sorry, someone actually wrote this line, but it was in a different series), rather than "Why do you hate him so much"), but even if America would say $$, I wouldn't let him say it. The thing is, if I curse, I break my promise, while if I don't, the character loses dialogue, and what remains is out of character.

It is NOT AU! At least I don't think so, since no one explained to me what AU means. PM me if I'm wrong, but I thought that AU meant as in, say, the characters retain their personalities, but lack the memories, powers, experiences and relationships that they have in the original, since it never happened. For example, Luffy being a normal teenager going to high school, rather than being a pirate. Can someone tell me what it means? If anyone reviews, add it, please. I am not taking OCs! They make it too complicated.

Another apology. In previous chapters, I wrote 'Kirkland' as 'Kirkman'. It wasn't all the time, and it wasn't all that different, but I'm sorry and I hope that the changes I made come through.

Arthur Kirkland, Pirate.

Nami looked from his face to mine, her eyes wide with disbelief. "Y-you're Robin's old captain?"

Cap'n didn't respond. He was in shock too.

"You're… alive," I spoke at last. "You're alive!" I hugged him.

"R-Robin!" The sound of his voice surprised me. How long ago was it since I last hears him? Years…

"So you did abandon her!" Nami yelled. "She was your shipmate, and you left her and the others?"

Cap'n looked down. "I-I did abandon you, Robin," His voice was filled with regret. "And the thing is, _I can't remember why_,"

"Wh-what?" Nami was taken aback.

"I can't remember anything before or after I formed the Jacks. All I remember is… that whatever it was that made me leave, it was horrible…"

LINEBREAK!

"We're back! And look who we brought with us!" We got back to the local inn, where the others were. The Log Pose didn't connect with any islands yet, so we had to stay here in the meantime.

"Nami! What did you get?" Sanji ran over to her like the lovesick guy he was.

"We found Robin's old captain!"

"Before you ask, my name is Arthur, no matter what the git next to me says," Cap'n said automatically.

"Git?" Zolo asked with a sweatdrop.

"Sorry, force of habit. I feel like I say that a lot,"

"He has amnesia," I explained.

"So you're Captain Kirkland?" Luffy said with interest, "Your eyebrows are bigger than I thought they would be!"

"You're not the first one to say that. I once knew a chap who…" He broke off. His eyes dawned with look of realization, and then it faded. "D-" [1] He crumpled over.

"Cap'n!" I lifted him back up to his chair.

"Th-thanks," he sat back down. "Damn! Just as I remembered something, it slips through my fingers," He said angrily.

"So how did you get here, anyway?" Nami asked.

"Well, the first thing I remember was…"

FLASHBACK (Arthur POV)

It was the middle of the night. Thunder roared and lightning flashed as a cyclone of leaves surrounded me, and then the winds subsided.

"Wh-where am I?" I jumped to my feet, and scanned the surroundings. I was in a loading dock. No one there. Nevertheless, I slid my hand to my waist, gripping the leather handle of a cutlass. Sensing someone come, I ducked under the nearest crate. On instinct, I knew he was a Marine. He walked by, preoccupied with his rifle. All the better for me.

Seeing that I was safe, I conducted a quick mental check. My arms? I had them. My legs? I could run. My body was whole, but one thing remained. "My name is…" A jolt of revelation hit me. I couldn't remember my name! "Arthur… Kirkland?" I muttered under my breath. It just didn't seem right. No matter how much I spoke the name, it was mine… but it wasn't.

FLASHBACK END, BACK TO ROBIN

"So what you're saying is that your name might not actually be Arthur?" Asked Zolo.

"Wait… Does that mean that you've been lying about your name the whole time?" Ussop yelled. "So you're not the real-"

"I am!" Cap'n shouted desperately, "It's just that… I sailed under a false identity. And now I can't even bloody remember what my real name was!"

Even Luffy looked gloomier at these words. Then, his face brightened. "So will you join my crew?"

That's it for chapter 3!

[1] I'm only using that word when it sounds strange otherwise. If possible, I just have a break in the middle.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, so this is chapter 4 of my fic. Just to clear anything up, all of the characters that I listed earlier WILL be a part of this, and they will be angry. And it's all Iggy's fault! As a side note, the Hetalia characters are nations, for those of you who don't like AU fics.

About the name of England's crew- I kinda rushed on the name 'The Jacks'. I got it from the Union Jack, but it can relate to Jack the Ripper, too. I read two fanfics where the ship is called _The Plague_, but I don't know if it really is called that originally. Right now, I'm avoiding the ship name.

I guess that this is a bit late, but pairings- None! I can't write romance, and I want to stay out of flame wars. However, Sanji, France, and both Italies will be flirting. Also, the relationship with Spain and Romano is more brotherly in my eyes. It's a bit awkward when your boyfriend raised you… I think the same way about USUK.

Plus, I don't know why Robin calls Iggy Cap'n. It just worked for me, even if she might be OOC.

Do you even read the title part?

"…Er, what?" Cap'n's train of thought crashed.

"Join my crew! You're a good person, and you have nowhere else to go, right?" Luffy urged. From what I could figure out about him, he always cared about people who were lost. Like me.

Cap'n looked relived. [1] "Thanks," was all he said, but I could tell that he was glad.

"Then it's settled! Let's have a party!" One- track mind, as usual. That's one thing that I like about Luffy. I can't compare him to anyone [2].

"Hey, look at this!" Ussop took a shell out of his pocket. "This is called the tone dial. You press this part," he indicated to the top section, "And say something,"

"Er… YOU BLOODY GIT!" Cap'n shouted at the top of his lungs.

"And then you press this…" click.

"YOU BLOODY GIT!" The dial repeated.

"Cool, isn't it?" Ussop bragged.

"I think that I've seen something like this before…" Cap'n's eyes were on the dial, but he wasn't seeing it. His mind was on his lost memories.

"Oi! Come have a drink with us!" Zolo waved sake at him.

Cap'n gulped down half a cup of beer- and promptly began babbling about the Rot-Fang conspiracy [3]

I smiled. I was never going to let Cap'n live this one down.

"Hey, Robin," Nami pulled me over, the picture of seriousness.

"Hm?" I answered.

"There's something I need to ask,"

"What is it?"

"When exactly did you meet Arthur?"

"Erm…" I forgot. Let's see, I was eight when Ohara… No, that couldn't be right. "Nami…" I just realized what Nami meant. "The last time I saw Cap'n… was almost twenty years ago."

LINEBREAK

Not too far from where the Straw Hats were staying, an unidentified ship was floating. Fog had just rolled in, and visibility was low. The first man who saw it thought that it was just another vessel, maybe with a few pirates, but that was nothing special. And then he noticed the shape.

"Th-that's not a boat!" he half whispered, half yelled at his partner.

His partner sighed. "It's floating, it had people on it, it's a b-"

"Look!" the man turned his partner around shakily.

"What's all the fuss- Holy (Insert explicative here)! It's a dock!"

"Come on! We've got to warn the boss!"

On the aforementioned 'dock'…

"Well, at the very least, we've made it here in one piece," A boy in a sailor suit commented.

"One piece… If you can call it that," a distraught Canadian mumbled. "I can't believe that Arthur did this to us…"

[1] Cap'n looked relived- It would have been too hard for him to reject it.

[2] I can't compare him to anyone- Robin's saying that she can't say that Iggy is better than Luffy, or vice versa.

[3] Rot-Fang conspiracy- from Harry Potter, sixth book. Never put into detail, just mentioned.

Sorry it was so short; I just have to leave off at a cliffhanger.


	5. Chapter 5

As a side note, I never actually finished Hetalia, since I want to make it last longer. So if I do anything that is contradictory to what someone did, then sorry!

I'm still not swearing, even if Romano still calls everyone… I'm not saying it. Instead, he says (tomato, potato, etc.) jerk, by 4kids dubbing (MWAHAHAHAHA!)

I also have a hard time with accents. But since it was be a bit hard for some people to read foreign written accents, that's probably for the better. So far, only Germany (and possibly Prussia) has a W/V problem, and Japan has a L/R problem. Having China and Japan have Th- sound problems would make it too hard. I hear that Canadians have an a/ha problem (for example, in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Scott says 'Haiti' instead of 'eighty'), but that's too subtle, and probably can't be easily written or understood.

Chapter 5

"Twenty years…" I murmured. "No way…"

"Let's talk later. Just don't tell the others!" Nami said.

"Oi! Nami! We're seeing how many toothpicks we can cram up his nose!" Ussop yelled, half-drunk.

"Great! I'm betting 50!" Nami waved a bundle of Berries (the currency. Berries sounded best to me.).

"50 Berries? Isn't that a bit cheap for you?" I asked good-naturedly.

"50 toothpicks. I'm betting 50,000 berries!"

MEANWHILE (Neutral POV, therefore, Canada is visible)

Coincidentally, 50,000 was the distance in meters from which a group of disheveled nations were squatting on Sealand. Wait, I mean squatting on the floor IN Sealand.

"Okay, let the emergency world meeting commence!" America said, pulling a blackboard out of nowhere. "So, dudes, we're in the middle of the ocean, none of us can recognize the constellations, and no one we asked has ever heard of America! I mean, come on, who-"

"You think that the entire world revolves around you, huh, ice cream jerk?" Romano yelled.

"Romano, he has a point," said Germany. "I can't think of very many people who vouldn't know about him, especially since he takes up about a third of his continent,"

"Hey, has everyone forgotten about me?" Canada half-whispered. "I'm bigger than America, you know! [1]"

France shushed him without anyone noticing. "Well, I think that we should focus our energies of finding England, [2]"

"Hai. I agree with Flance-san," Japan said.

"Hey! Don't forget about me!" Sealand called "Even if no one acknowledges me, you're still on my land!"

"He has a point…" said Spain. "Oh well, who wants tomatoes?" he produced an entire basket out of nowhere.

"Ve~ I do!" Italy waved his arms around.

"Can I have some?" said Russia.

Spain and both Italies began to shiver. "T-take them!" said Italy franticly.

"Hey! Leave some for me!" yelled Romano, his love for tomatoes overriding his fear of Russia.

"Hey! Don't think that I'm gonna let you pick on the weak!" America said, to the embarrassment of the aforementioned 'weak'.

"You want another Cold War, capitalist pig?" said Russia with his voice dripping with malice.

"Bring it on, commie [3]!" America cracked his knuckles as Russia got out his pipe.

"As much as I hate him, aru, he's still the reason we're in this mess in the first place, AHEN," said China over all the fighting. "Snacks, anyone?"

LATER, in the inn, girl's room, Robin POV

"Robin, have you ever noticed anything strange about Arthur?" asked Nami.

"Hm," Let's see, he starts to blab about weird things whenever he gets drunk, wait, she already knows that… "He never gets injured during raids."

"Isn't that normal for most captains?"

"Hold on. I remember that the day he left, he was burned," When I saw the confused look on Nami's face, I said quickly, "We never went anywhere near fire on that day. It was too hot for either of us to even think of setting anything on fire,"

"But how could he have been burned?" Nami put her hand to her chin in the classic thinking pose. "Did he get burned afterwards?"

"No, I was with him the whole time. There wasn't even a lantern when I got to his room."

There was a very pregnant pause.

"Well," said Nami, breaking the silence, "We still know this. He looks the same after twenty years, but we don't know why."

"Maybe he ate a Devil fruit," I suggested.

Nami looked out the window for a while, and then sprang up. "I've got an idea!"

END OF CHAPTER 5

[1] Canada being bigger than America- It's true! I looked it up. America is just more noticeable.

[2] France suffers the most with my problem with accents. Germany and Japan have V/W and R/L problems, China has an –aru, I read enough Harry Potter books to get a half-decent British accent, Spain and Russia don't have any particular accent that can be written, and America and Canada are similar.

[3] Commie- I read in a few fics that had America call Russia 'commie', short for communist.

Like? The 'Coincidentally, 50,000' was a reference to Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, when the chances of being picked up in space was 9 to the power of something, and that number was the phone number of the apartment where… that would take too long to explain.

What is Nami's plan? What did Iggy do? Why has he lost his memory? And what will Iggy do about all those toothpicks? Find out next update!


	6. Chapter 6

Oh yeah, Franky never got a single line of dialogue these past few chapters… I kinda forgot. It's hardest to write a group, and I forgot about him…

Canada doesn't have much development from where I'm at, so he might seem a little OOC and forceful. I just have to move the plot along. Plus, when he exclaims something, just pretend that he's yelling quietly.

Chapter 6

"Nami, I don't think that this is a good idea," I said.

"Hey, at least we're not drowning him!" she replied cheerfully.

"Still…" I sighed. When Nami gets an idea in her head, there's no stopping her.

"Right then. We're putting this on every chair in the inn!" She held up a large bag of powdered seastone.

I sighed again. As much as I wanted to know why Cap'n didn't age, I felt that this was pushing it. "How can we make it touch his bare skin?"

Nami's face fell, her plans ruined. "Bare skin…" she muttered. "I have an idea…" She rummaged through her bag, and found a pair of black outfits. "Put this on. And I hope that we can tell him apart from the others!"

… Don't tell me… "You're planning on putting it on when Cap'n's sleeping?"

"You have a better idea?"

I couldn't find an answer to that. "Just… Can't we ask? I feel like I'm betraying him by doing this,"

Nami gave me a deep look. "I know, but I get the feeling that he might not know either,"

"Then why don't we ask first?"

Nami couldn't find an answer to this. "You really are devoted to Arthur, aren't you," She said it conclusively, not as a compliment or as an insult.

"Well, he was my captain for years," I replied.

TIMESKIP (Neutral POV)

Arthur lay in bed, awakened by some force that he could not recognize. As he looked around, his intuition began to flare. What it was about, he had no idea. But whatever it was, something was going to happen [1].

THE NEXT DAY (IGGY POV)

The market was bustling with activity. Farmers brought in their produce from the fields on the other side of the island and hawked the locals. A few just bought it just to prevent them from glowering at them… that sounded familiar. Anyway, Robin, Franky, and I went out just to pass the time.

"So, how do you fight?" Franky asked.

"Er… sword, I guess?" I really wasn't sure. I felt like I used something else before.

"You guess? Wouldn't you know your weapon?" he replied. "I mean, sometimes I lose track of mine, but even if you lost your memory, you should still know,"

"Er, you lose track of your weapon?" that didn't sound right. "What weapon do you use?"

"My entire body is a weapon!" He said a bit too loudly. "No, wait, I mean that literally. I'm a cyborg,"

"Really? Sounds like something that-" An image of a young blonde man with glasses flashed through my head, but I couldn't attach a name to him.

"Cap'n? What's wrong?" Robin noticed my lapse.

"I-it's nothing," Even if I couldn't name him, he was still familiar…

"H-hey!" Someone whispered behind us. How did he sneak up on us? Franky probably wasn't that good at detecting, but Robin practically had eyes on the back of her head. Sometimes literally. "Arthur!"

I spun around to see yet another farmiliar face. He had blonde hair and glasses, but he wasn't the one in my vision. His hair was longer, and he was carrying a polar bear.

"Arthur! We just got here; we don't know why- Ivan got out his pipe-"

"Slow down, and speak up. We can't hear you," said Robin.

"Ah, okay. As I was saying, Arthur, we need you to get us out of this mess!"

"Er, not to be rude, but what's your name?" I said awkwardly.

He looked at me with shock in his eyes. "MAPLE! Y-you mean you forgot about me, too? I thought that you of all people would remember me! I'm your brother!"

"I-I have amnesia," It felt like I was making an excuse.

He looked like he was halfway between relief and concern. "H-how much can you remember?"

"I can remember my name…" I said lamely, "and Robin here,"

"What's your name, then?"

"…What? You just said it, it's Arthur."

"No, your real name!" he looked desperate now. "You forgot that too?"

"…Sorry," I said sincerely.

"You don't remember… anything?" He jolted up, "Your brother's name? Everythimg we've been through? The time you talked me into burning someone's house down? Diana hates us both now!" He practically collapsed.

"Are you all right?" asked Robin.

"I don't blame you for what happened," he muttered, taking no notice of Robin's words, "it was an accident. Neither does Alfred or Peter. I'm not sure about the others, but Ivan and Antonio are on the warpath..."

I couldn't remember any of these names, but a dim light came on at the mention of Alfred and Ivan.

"You're saying that you're Cap'n's brother?" Robin broke in.

Mathew nodded. "If you don't count all the legal custodies… [2]" I could barely hear him, and I was sure that Robin couldn't hear him either. "Anyway, if you don't come, then both Ivan and Antonio will… I'm not sure what Antonio would do, but Ivan would try to kill you,"

"Wait, even if Cap'n came, they'd attack anyway, wouldn't they," Robin said.

"Well, Ivan's a psychopath, so he would anyway, but Antonio would at least hear him out," That didn't help. Robin was on the line of attacking on the account that he might be a threat, and hearing him out because of his honesty.

"I'm still coming," even if it was a trap, I trusted Mathew.

"Then I'm coming with you," Robin said.

"Hey, can't we tell Luffy first?" Franky cut in. He did have a point.

"You could… but Ivan and Antonio are still around…" he didn't say it like a threat as much as a warning.

"We'll be fine," said Robin. "After all, we've faced plenty of psychopaths. We're pirates,"

"I know," he didn't just say it to hide ignorance, he really knew.

"Come on, it's already two, we should get back to the inn," said Franky, looking at the clock tower.

"Er, do you mind if I come?" Mathew asked.

"Sure," replied Robin.

As we walked back, Mathew seemed to disappear, until I looked straight at him. I didn't know why, but no one looked at him. Almost like no one could see him besides us…

TIMESKIP

"Hey, who's this guy?" asked Chopper. Just from looking at his expression told me that he was frightened. I couldn't tell if it was the bear or the fact that he hunted reindeer… wait, where that come from?

"I'm Arthur's brother, Mathew. Mathew Williams,"

"Hold on, why do you have a different last name than him?" asked Ussop.

"It's a long story," I said automatically. Being around Mathew triggered some of my memories, but I still couldn't even place names yet. "Anyway, we just wanted to let you guys know that we're going,"

"You're going? We're coming too!" Luffy exclaimed. It's not like I could say no to him. After all, he's my captain now.

"Okay…" Mathew never protested; the only time he ever did was when… I was struck by a sudden vision- no, memory. The two of us stood on a hill, a city set ablaze before us… a young girl screaming in pain, cursing both of us… Mathew crumpled next to me, filled with remorse… I stood, thinking _Why did it come to this, little_-

"Arthur!" Mathew woke me up. "What just happened?" I had just noticed the beads of sweat dripping down my body.

"I-I just had a flashback… Mathew?"

"Yes?" he came closer, trying to comfort me.

"Did we ever… set an entire city on fire?" I asked.

He gave me a gloomy look. "We did."

"You what?" Nami gasped.

"I saw a girl screaming… who was she?" I knew it was a stupid question, how would Mathew remember one girl out of many that we might have seen that day?

"Did she… have black hair and blue eyes?" I nodded. "That was Diana… she hates us both for that…"

"…Why? Why did we even set the city on fire to begin with?"

Mathew sighed. "Blame bad communication [3],"

"What?"

"Never mind, the others are waiting, and as much as he doesn't want to admit it, Alfred really wants to see you,"

"Who's Alfred?" asked Zoro.

"He's… my brother…" He had more to say than that, but I think that he just didn't say it all. "Anyway, can we go? If we stay, then we'll get more sidetracked,"

To make a long story short, we left.

TIMESKIP

Mathew referred to it as a boat, but it looked nothing like one. It reminded me of an oil rig, or a fort. Wait, a fort?

"Wow, this is a boat?" Nami looked up in amazement.

"I thought that it was a dock," said Zoro.

"I know, but it moves, so I guess that it could be called a boat," commented Mathew. "I just hope that everyone's here…"

"Hey! Jerk-Arthur! It's about time you got here!" A boy who looked about ten called from a crane overhead. He wore a blue-and-white sailor suit, and he looked awfully comfortable for someone fifty meters in the air.

"P-Peter?" All I could remember was the name, and nothing else.

"Of course it's me- Hang on, how come you look so surprised? Don't you remember anything?"

"Actually…" whispered Mathew.

"What is it? It's not like you have amnesia, right?" said Peter. "… Wait a minute, you really have amnesia?" He began to sweat profusely. "How much do you remember? Do you remember how we got here?"

"I-I can only remember a few things,"

"He can't remember his real name," Mathew put in.

"What? But then-" he cut off. He then began to breathe deeply, and exhaled. "Okay, so you told me that if anyone lost their memory, then we should-"

"Hola! I brought tomatoes!" A new voice called regardless of the tense atmosphere. I turned around and saw- a flash of brown, green, and silver-

The blade of an axe was heading straight for me.

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Iggy's intuition- Originally, that part was where he knew about Robin and Nami's plans, and was glad that Robin didn't do anything that would hurt him behind his back.

[2] Legal custodies- To me, this is how I think of countries getting colonies and territories. England claimed America as his little brother in one episode, and he got Canada later. However, if America was England's little brother, and Canada's twin, then Canada would be both France's and England's brother.

This may be the little history I know, but Britain (the country itself) and America won the French and Indian War, and won Canada as a colony, as well as much more lands. Remember, the borders were different back then. This led to yet another dispute between America and Britain, as the British said that the colonists should pay for the war, since it was their fault and there was already a massive debt, but the colonists said that the war was already in Britain's self-interest to win. Plus, it led to higher taxes… remember, taxes, tariffs, and lack of representation were the main causes!

[3] Bad communication, city burning, both Canada and England- War of 1812, Britain was at war with France (again). America stayed neutral, since France was an ally in the Revolutionary war, and they wanted to stay on Britain's good side, even if they poured tar and feathers on naked custom agents. Yes, that really happened, or at least back before the Revolutionary War. Britain ended up impressing (i.e. kidnapping, except more 'legally', look it up) American sailors to serve in the British navy. America naturally got mad and declared war. However, since Britain was not willing to have two wars at the same time, they passed a law forbidding impressments. Unfortunately, since telephones were not invented yet, the U.S. didn't find out until after they declared war. So, naturally, America did the most logical thing, and invaded Canada. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, then Britain won their war with France (I think), which left them only one enemy to focus on, i.e. rather than having two enemies, the full army could go to America rather than splitting up. Eventually, Britain and Canada came together against their mutual enemy and burned Washington D.C. Luckily, a freak hurricane hit, and the fire was put out. If you find out that any of this is wrong, remember, this is a fanfic, not an essay. Diana is my name for D.C., the idea is that the states' names share initials with their state initials, i.e. D.C. is Diana Catherine, South Carolina is Serena Carolyn, etc.

The part where the farmers are hawking people with their goods is from Harry Potter, Hermione tries to get people to buy her anti-slavery badges.

Why did Iggy lose his memory? What is Canada so worried about? Why is Spain so upset? Why didn't Iggy age after twenty years? And when will I update? Find out next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, this fic won't be frequently updated. Yes, it's summer, and I don't have school, but I have more than one fic. In order of most updated to least (On impulses), my fics are: This one, Ginny Weasley and the Final Fantasy (Harry Potter x Final Fantasy X-2), any other new fic, The man of 42 seconds later (Hetalia x Harry Potter), and This totally could have happened (dead).

As another note, I'm sorry about having One Piece characters fade in the background. As for the power balance- In general, nations are stronger than normal humans, even the Italy brothers. All of the crew have more power than the nations, but the nations have more experience and skill. America is the exception to this rule. America has the most brute strength, and is more experienced, but he isn't as coordinated. The thing is, I find that when two series are X-overed, then the host series characters end up weaker than the new ones (ex: America goes to Hogwarts, he will be stronger than Harry).

In this fic, the main language is English. Sealand can see Canada because a) they are technically related and b) he's in a worse off position than Canada, since he's not even a nation. I decided to add Prussia, human name Gilbert. Japan's language impediment is being put on hold except when using names, due to the fact that it would be too hard to understand. Anyway, with the power of human suggestion and language context, the L/R impediment can be overlooked.

Chapter 7 (Robin POV)

For a second I saw another man walking serenely toward us holding a basket of tomatoes, but the next moment was chaos. Cap'n brought a sword out of nowhere and parried just in time to block an axe hurled by the new guy, still holding on to the tomatoes.

"Y-you're-" Cap'n seemed to recognize him, but the man was still angry. He began to yell in some language that I couldn't understand.

"Antonio! Speak English, will you!" The kid- Peter- tried to separate the two of them, but they stayed locked in their positions.

"I said, why did you-" The new guy- Antonio, from Peter's outburst, still had some sort of accent from the language he spoke earlier.

"He has amnesia! He can't even remember his real name, much less what he did!" Both of them stopped dead when Peter said that.

Then Antonio- or whatever his name was- put down his axe and smiled. "Well, no point in getting angry. Who wants tomatoes?" He waved the basket like nothing had happened.

Cap'n clearly remembered something. "Your name's Antonio… We used to get into fights a lot… I remember beating you one last time…"

"And I've never recovered since [1]," concluded Antonio. His tone was not bitter at all, but hard to describe. It was like he had been upset about it once, but most of the animosity had faded over time. Almost as if it had been a long time ago, but there's no way he could have known him so long… Couldn't he?

"Hey, Mathew? Wasn't Antonio one of the people that Arthur should avoid?" Nami whispered.

"Yeah, but he's only like that when Lovino's in danger. Ivan, on the other hand…" Mathew looked more frightened than ever at the mention of him.

"IGGY!" A diversion came in the form of a kid jumping onto Cap'n and hugging him. "I'msogladyou'-"

"C-can't… breathe… ribs… broken…" Cap'n wasn't listening; I could hear his bones fracture from here.

"I told you that he wanted to see you…" Mathew said on the sidelines. "Peter, can you tell the others that Arthur had amnesia?"

"Why? I'm not your servant,"

"None of them know I exist…"

"Oh, right," He began to head off towards a cabin door. "If you want, there's leftover pizza in the fridge, Feliciano made too much again [2],"

"You have food?" Luffy shouted. We already had lunch, but his stomach is bottomless.

"I'll show you as soon as I get back," Peter disappeared behind the hatch.

"H-hey… still choking here…" Cap'n was still standing, but barely.

"Isn't that enough, Alfred?" Mathew peeled him off of Cap'n. Cap'n collapsed, but breathed once again.

Chopper ran to his side and felt his ribs. "They're all right, but how did you get them this bad? He couldn't breathe the whole time,"

"Actually, that's normal… Once Alfred lifted up a buffalo and swung it around like it was nothing…" As usual, Mathew spoke quietly.

"Really? I wouldn't think that a kid could do that," said Sanji

"I could do that when I was four," replied Zoro.

"You want to pick a fight?"

"Actually… [3]" Mathew tried to say, but he was drowned out.

"I'm back!" Peter came running out of the cabin, red juice streaming down him. "We're planning on holding another meeting as soon as we can get everything together. Lovino hit me with a tomato again,"

"It's all right, we've got plenty," Antonio said, taking a bite out of one of the tomatoes he brought.

"We're having a meeting? Great! I have an idea we can use!" Alfred came sauntering towards the door.

"He's part of the meeting too?" I asked.

"Yes, he is," Cap'n replied. "I think…"

We followed Alfred down the corridor. It was worn, and I could see signs of fire in some places, but it was definitely a home to someone. The windows were cleaned, and the floor polished, but not to military standards.

"Here it is!" Alfred brought us to a room large enough for all of us to fit comfortably inside, but there were already people in it. All of them were male, and most of them were angry, but those were the only things they had in common. About half of them were kids about nine or ten, and the others were either in their late teens or twenties.

"Hey, tea jerk! It's your fault we're in this mess!" a brunette boy threw a tomato at him, while his frightened teenaged brother restrained him from doing anything else. By the smell of it, the tomato was rotten.

"Calm down, fratello (A/N, Brother)!" He said while his lighter-haired brother struggled to get out of his grip.

"Let go of me!"

"Hello, young lady, what's-" a long-haired blonde man began to hit on me, but Cap'n brought his sword out of nowhere.

"Don't you dare hit on Robin, you bloody frog!"

"As violent as he is, I agree with Lovino-san," said a black-haired boy in a kimono while Cap'n and the blonde man fought.

"I brought tomatoes!" Antonio came along carrying the same basket he had before, with no regards for the atmosphere.

"Great, we can make pasta now!" The scared looking brunette released his grip on his brother, who ran to Antonio's side. Antonio knelt down beside him, and the kid smiled slightly.

"In that case, I'll make the noodles, aru," one of the older men, who wore his dark hair in a ponytail, volunteered.

"There's a leak that we haven't fixed in the kitchen, so be careful!" Peter was there, too. "Though we do need to put a pipe there…"

"Are you implying something?" a silver-haired boy said with a creepy smile. He held a faucet pipe and a bottle of some sort.

"N-no," Peter backed down.

"Well, I am, you commie-" Alfred stepped in.

"EVERYBODY BE QUIET!" The last of the group, a boy with slicked-back blonde hair and a very strong presence yelled. "Ve need to tell Arthur and these people about vhat happened, not make pasta!"

"He's right. What did happen? I understand that it's my fault, but I can't remember what it was," Cap'n managed to get back on track.

"It wasn't all you fault, Iggy," Alfred said. How did he get 'Iggy' from 'Arthur' anyway? "It was the commie's fault!"

"Is that a challenge, capitalist-" the silver-haired kid began to interfere, but he was interrupted.

"What really happened? We need a neutral standpoint," said Nami. At this they all blanched [4]. Nami looked confused. "What did I say wrong?"

"It's nothing, just some bad memories. Feliciano-san is the most neutral out of all of us, why don't we let him speak?" said the serene black-haired boy.

"Ve~ Okay then, I'm Feliciano, this is my fratello, Lovino," he indicated to his darker-haired brother, "this is Ludwig and Kiku," the intimidating blonde boy nodded and the serene boy gave a slight bow, "Big brother Antonio and big brother Francis [5]," Antonio waved while the long haired blond man gave a seductive smile, "Yao and Ivan," the dark-haired man nodded while the silver-haired boy waved, "And the last two are Alfred and little brother Peter!" We already were introduced, but they nodded anyway.

"Then what happened?" Sanji and Zoro stopped fighting.

"Okay, so we were at a meeting, and then Peter showed up, Arthur got mad at him and-"

"Never mind, I'll tell him. Althur-san," Kiku began, "we were at a meeting, and as usual, we got into a fight. You got angry and began to chant something while holding a book. But then, Peter-kun and Gilbelt-san, Ludwig's older brother," he explained, "barged in on us, and Peter crashed into you. You stopped chanting to yell at him, but a circle appeared beneath us. The next thing we knew, we were here,"

"And he turned us into little kids!" Lovino yelled.

DONE!

[1] Spain and England, I haven't recovered since- Spanish Armada, 1588, Spain wanted to invade Britain and make it Catholic (it was Protestant under Queen Elizabeth I). Britain won the naval battle with smaller but faster ships, and the Armada retreated into a hurricane. Bit like the Kamikaze from Japanese history (the hurricane, not the suicide bombings), huh. Anyway, Spain, which was the most powerful country at the time, was proved to not be invincible. Spain was still powerful, and still settled for a while in both Americas, but never regained its massive power.

[2] Italy, Sealand, leftovers, and pizza- I figured that Sealand would have pizza, and then Italy would tell him that it sucked, and would then make his own.

[3] Canada's actually- he tried to say that America wasn't exactly a kid.

[4] They all blanched, neutrality- They were reminded of Switzerland. Switzerland is an armed neutrality, and shot at them during WWII.

I might be starting a new fanfic.


	8. Chapter 8

Yes, it is a little weird having the countries turned into kids. Originally, Italy was turned into a kid and Romano was normal, but I changed it when I realized that having Romano turned into a kid gave Antonio a reason to be mad at Iggy. Here's the list for the characters that were turned into kids and those who weren't:

America- now age 9

Canada- normal

Russia- now age 12

France- normal (It's a bit hard to write a really flirty kid)

North Italy- normal (I need that so I can write a sequel; it'll be Hetalia/Harry Potter)

South Italy- now age 5, same age as in his 'Chibi Romano' segment.

Germany- now age 8

China- normal

Japan- now age 7

Spain- normal

Sealand is normal, since I can't get anything out of him being younger.

I'm sorry about last chapter, if you looked for the [5] description, it wasn't there. Here's what it was- [5] Big brother, little brother- In one episode, Italy refers to France as big brother, and refers to Spain as big brother. He didn't say big brother to Germany, since he's a kid. I figured that Italy would be a 'nice older brother' to Sealand, too.

-San is only used when referring to Japan, in respect for his culture, or if Japan himself uses it. In Chapter 2, when Chopper says that Iggy was part of the Yonko, just go with it. I found this out when I was typing this: Feliciano doesn't register as a misspelling, but Lovino does.

Chapter 8 (Nami POV)

"Wait, you aren't actually kids?" asked Ussop.

"Well, Peter is, but the rest of them aren't," muttered Mathew.

Well, that's was a good explanation for why they were mad at him. I can't imagine being a kid again… Even if my childhood was stable.

"Then what do you really look like?" asked Luffy.

"Well, _fratello's_ my older twin brother, and Ludwig's older than I am," said Feliciano.

"Alfred's my twin, and we look exactly alike. I'm taller, though," gave Mathew.

Feliciano didn't seem to notice him, and kept saying, "… Ivan's about twenty-four, Ludwig's maybe twenty-three, and Kiku-san is twenty-one, or at least I think he is."

"Um, this may be a little awkward, but you never introduced yourselves," said Kiku, in his calm way.

"I'm Luffy, and I'm the Captain!"

"I'm Zoro, the first mate,"

"I'm the navigator, Nami,"

"I am the great sharpshooter Ussop!"

"I am the chef, Sanji,"

"I'm the doctor, Chopper,"

"My name's Robin,"

"I'm the shipwright, Franky!"

"Anyway, I wanted to know if we could come along with you, since we have no idea where we are, Luffy-san" said Kiku.

"Okay!" said Luffy.

"Hey, if you're coming, you're going to have to pull your own weight. Can you fight?" asked Ussop.

"Ussop, no matter how good they were, they're still-" I began.

"Only kids?" finished Ludwig. "Ve can still fight; ve still have the strength that ve had before,"

"But how good are you?" asked Zoro. "Do you have any special skills?"

"Like what?" asked Feliciano. "_Fratello_ and I aren't good fighters, but we can cook and clean and make hand grenades and- [1]"

"Never mind, maybe we could fight one-on-one, and we can see each other's skills firsthand," suggested Yao.

"Good idea," Robin took out her old hat. "All of you," she indicated to the group, "except for Peter, Feliciano, and Lovino, write your names down and put them in here. All of us except for Cap'n are going to assign a number in the order we joined the crew. We pick a random name from my hat, and they fight Luffy, next person fights Zoro, etc."

"How come Iggy's not fighting?" asked Alfred. How exactly do you get Iggy from Arthur?

"Hold on, why do you call him Iggy? If his name's Arthur…" I began, but stopped.

"His real name's actually E-"

"Alfred!" Ludwig stopped him. "I thought that ve agreed that ve vould not tell him his name until he remembers!"

"You what!" exclaimed Robin. "I thought that you-"

"It's all right, Robin," said Arthur. "I think that it would be better this way, knowing my name would be a sure sign of me regaining my memory," he paused for a moment. "By the way, what's the first letter of my name?"

At this the new group looked uncomfortably at each other. "It starts with an 'e', right?" said Alfred.

"Or a 'b', sometimes. If you want to be formal, it's 'g'," said Peter.

"And if you want to be really formal, it's 'u'," gave Mathew.

"For me, it starts with an 'I'," said Kiku.

"When I say it, it's 'yi'" said Yao.

"I say it with a't'," said Ludwig.

"I say it with an 'I', too," said Antonio, rather unhelpfully.

"I do, too, and so does _fratello_," added Lovino.

"_Non_, it's an 'a'," said Francis.

"It's an 'a' for me," said Ivan [2].

"Wait, I'm even more confused…" said Luffy.

"It would take too long to explain…" Mathew put his name in the hat.

"Let's not get any more preoccupied than ve are now," Ludwig put his own name in, followed by the others. I took the hat and shook it for a moment, then picked out a name.

"Ivan… Braginsky?"

DONE!

I'm not taking any reader's fight suggestions, except for one person's who already put theirs in. They have already been chosen! I sorted them using pieces of paper, except for the ones that would have fit really well.

[1] Italy not being a good fighter- as I said earlier, the Italy brothers actually are stronger than the average human (more than Nami in her first appearance), the reason being that Italy is relatively strong, enough to still be a country rather than a territory.

[2] Iggy's name- America, Canada, and Sealand all speak English, so they use synonyms, _E_ngland, _B_ritain, _G_reat Britain, and _U_nited Kingdom respectively.I think that Japan's is Igrisu, and I know for sure that China's is _ying guo_, but I used google translate for the rest.

Yes, it's short. I guessed the nation's ages, so don't rely on this. As for America's question about Iggy not fighting… he forgot. Attention span problems.


	9. Chapter 9

Correction, for those who thought that Nami was fighting Russia. Luffy is fighting Russia. The fights go in this order- Luffy and Russia, Zoro and his opponent, etc. in the order they joined. The reason that Nami pulled the slip was because she and Robin were organizing the fights.

Japan can't know about the One Piece universe beforehand, since it's a real alternate dimension. So, he lost his memories of the manga and anime, but it was such a small detail the he didn't notice. Deus Ex Machina anyone?

For the Nation ages, since they stay the same age after they hit twenty-something, Italy just babbled on about the ages. It never mattered to them, except for when the drinking laws kicked in…

Sorry! I am very bad at fight scenes, since One Piece is a VISUAL manga, it's hard to put it into writing.

Chapter 9 (Nami POV)

"Ivan… Braginsky?" I said.

"Da, I am here," he said creepily.

"So I'm fighting you? Where?" asked Luffy.

"On the mountain, where we can't damage the town. Come on!" We walked up the mountain, talking to each other the whole way.

"I'm supporting you, since you're fighting the commie!" said Alfred. It was strange hearing a kid say that, even if he wasn't actually one.

"You are also a chef?" asked Sanji.

"Oui, I take great pride in my skills," said Francis.

"You're really pretty," said Feliciano. Unlike Francis, his flirting was less like seduction, and more innocent.

"Thanks," For once, someone didn't comment on my body [1].

"Zis looks like a good spot, ze fights vill start here," said Ludwig when we reached a clearing. "No going into ze town, no hitting ven your opponent iz down, and hostage taking iz illegal!" he commanded. Who would even think of taking a hostage in a one-on-one fight?

"Don't worry, I won't do any of that," Ivan said without reassuring anyone.

"Eins, zwei, drei, BEGIN!"

Luffy threw- I mean, literally threw- a punch at Ivan. He managed to block it at the last second with his water pipe, and charged towards Luffy.

"Gomu Gomu no…" Luffy stretched out his arms past Ivan. "Rocket!" He launched himself forward and hit Ivan on the chest.

"Wow… how did he do that?" asked Mathew.

"He ate the Gomu Gomu devil fruit, so his body can stretch like rubber. Devil fruits," I began, thinking that Alfred might not know, "Give the eater a certain power, such as turning the body into smoke, or Robin's ability to copy her body parts onto any surface. But anyone who eats a devil fruit can't swim ever again, so we have to fish him out every time he falls in," I explained.

"Cool~" said Alfred admiringly.

"By the way, has Arthur ever eaten one?"

"I don't think so," said Mathew. "Why do you ask?"

"Robin said that the last time she saw him was about twenty years ago, and he didn't age at all,"

Alfred and Mathew flinched, and regained their composure within seconds. Most people probably wouldn't have seen it, but I did. What were they hiding? "So you think that he ate a devil fruit that made him de-age?" asked Mathew. He definitely knew something.

I nodded. Something was going on here, and I'm going to find out

Back to the fight… (Robin POV)

"Gomu Gomu no… Rocket!" Luffy shot himself at Ivan at full speed, and hit his … pipe? He blocked it! Luffy jumped back. "You're pretty good," he said. "You managed to block my attack,"

"Now it's my turn!" WHAM! Ivan slammed his faucet pipe onto Luffy's head.

"Ow, that actually hurt!" Luffy almost whined. "I haven't felt a blunt attack in years!"

"CHIGI [2]! He actually took Ivan's pipe head-on!" exclaimed Lovino.

"The Gomu Gomu fruit also gives him immunity from blunt-force attacks, even bullets won't work," I explained.

"No, wait," said Zoro. "Luffy should have recovered from an attack like that as if it was nothing. That Ivan guy's pretty good,"

"Gomu Gomu no pistol!" Luffy shot his arm out at Ivan, and missed.

"Too bad, rubber-"

WHAM! Luffy's fist snapped back on Ivan's head. "Gomu Gomu no reverse bullet [3]!"

"Not bad," he's still standing? "But you'd have to do better than that, kolkolkol," WHACK! BLAM! CRACK! Was that his spleen?

"I-Ivan vins," said Ludwig.

"Hang on a second; did we ever give grounds for victory or defeat?" asked Cap'n.

"… Ve didn't. From now on, zis iz ze rule. Ve vill put paint on a certain spot on our bodies, and if your opponent strikes it, you are out. It iz illegal to put it on your genitals or your … feminine parts; other grounds for defeat are surrender, being knocked out, or being unable to fight back!"

"Can we have pasta for dinner?" asked Feliciano. He liked it that much?

"… Later, Feliciano. Ve vill have von more fight today. Nami?"

"Yes?- Oh, right," she picked up the bag and shook it. "Alfred F. Jones?"

"FINALLY! IT'S THE HERO'S TURN NOW!"

[1] Comment on Nami's body- She means that Italy says that she's pretty rather than 'sexy'.

[2] I think that Chigi is what Romano says when surprised.

[3] The Gomu Gomu bullet is when Luffy stretches his fist backwards and lets it snap forward, Reverse is the opposite.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm currently trying to increase wordage in my chapters; just it'll all end of a cliffhanger. It's really easy to write America, he's so hyper. I can never remember the moves of the one piece characters, so most things might go unnamed. Most fights will be short, since this focuses on plot and humor, not fighting. The reason that this chapter focuses on Canada is because he is best at moving the plot along, and he's close enough to Iggy.

CHAPTER 10 (Robin POV)

"Okay, so I'm fighting you? May the best man win!" Alfred said rather loudly.

"Is he always like this?" I asked Mathew.

"Yep, that's normal. The only time he's not like this is when something bad happens,"

"I guess that he's like Luffy, then,"

"Well, I haven't know Luffy long enough to really compare the two, but I'm pretty sure that Am- I mean Alfred is much more arrogant than Luffy is,"

Wait a second… "What were you going to say?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" He was shaking like a leaf… a maple leaf.

"You were about to call Alfred something else. What was it?" I asked. I knew it was pushy, but I wanted answers. These people were hiding something, and Cap'n was a part of it.

"Now zis iz ze second fight of ze day!" Ludwig broke in. Now I had to wait until he finished. "Let me go over ze rules again: Hit ze painted spot vonce and you vin. No hostage taking and no going out of ze boundries! Ein, zwei, deri, PAINT!"

Zoro dabbed paint onto his chest, while Alfred put it on his left hand. Quite clever, actually.

"BEGIN!"

They went into their fighting stances, Zoro drawing his swords, and Alfred bringing up his fists like a boxer. "I'm coming at you, bro!" Alfred yelled as he charged.

Zoro was ready. "Oni…" -he crossed his arms- "GIRI!" Faster than I could see, he slashed at Alfred. No, wait… he dodged it! "It looks like I underestimated you, Alfred," Zoro picked his swords back up. "This time I'll come at you!" he rushed forward at him, the swords in his hands held in front of him, one at Alfred's neck level, the other diagonal at his chest.

"Nice try…" Alfred leaped through the gaps that the stroke left, and did a recovery roll to Zoro's feet. "But not good enough!" he punched Zoro's chest. Hard. So hard, Zoro crumpled.

"Alfred vins," said Ludwig.

"Wow, you are strong, even if you are a kid!" Luffy appeared out of nowhere, with his chest bandaged.

"Luffy? You're alright!" Ussop exclaimed.

"Ushishi, it turned out that my spleen didn't fall out after all, and Chopper fixed me up!"

"Great, let's go back to town!"

"Gomu Gomu no Rocket!" Luffy stretched his arms and shot forward like a slingshot.

"H-hold on! I forgot to tell you something! Whatever you do, don't let it bleed any more than it-" Chopper yelled, but Luffy already was gone.

"Mathew," I said in the confusion. "You still haven't told me what you were going to say."

"L-let's get back to the inn first,"

"If we do that, then I'll bring Nami."

"You'd tell her anyway, wouldn't you," he said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I would," I found myself admitting. "But no one can hear us all the way out here."

"Correction, anyone can hear us here. We'll be harder to overhear at the inn," he whispered. Although his voice was no quieter than earlier, the meaning got through.

Later, after the Straw Hat's dinner, in a restaurant…

"So what was it that Robin almost caught you saying?" asked Nami, who had joined us after I told her over dinner.

"I-it was…" he let out a sigh. "His real name,"

"You mean that you guys aren't telling us your real names either?" Nami yelled "I thought that you trusted us! A secret is one thing, but a name was something else entirely!"

He was nervous for a second, and then sighed. "No point in lying to you. None of us gave our real names. We made a pact not to tell anyone our real names, except for our bosses, if the person finds out, or if they need to know. I guess that this qualifies…" I wasn't sure if I had actually found out their secret, or if Mathew thought that I had to know. "My real name is Canada,"

Canada… nope, didn't ring a bell. I looked at Nami, but she didn't know either. "In that case do you know-?"

"I'm sorry; I also promised that I wouldn't tell anyone else's real names without their permission!" he really was sorry, he wasn't just trying to be polite. "And that includes Arthur. Besides, if I told you his name, you'd tell him, wouldn't you,"

I nodded. He had the measure of me within hours of meeting? He was good. "But why don't you want him to know?"

"I do want him to know, I just want him to remember it rather than have it told to him," he said exasperatedly. "Besides, I think that he's remembering _something_, at the very least. I think that there's something that triggers his memories within each of us, and he'll regain his memories better that way,"

A trigger? "He remembered you when you and Peter came along without really doing anything, but when Antonio attacked him, he remembered him," I began. "What exactly is your relationship with Arthur? You said that you were brothers, right?"

"Not exactly…"

"Are you adopted?" asked Nami.

"Well…" he got out a notebook and a pencil. "It's complicated, but this is how it is. Alfred and I are twins," (he drew two rectangles with designs in them, one with a leaf in the center and the other with stripes and about fifty stars, enclosed them in a circle, and labeled it 'twins'), "and Arthur and Francis are mortal enemies," (he drew two more rectangle,- one with two crosses, and X and a +, and the other with three vertical bars down it-, and drew a line connecting the two saying 'enemies') "whose parents adopted us when we orphaned. Separately."

"What? You were separated?" I gasped. "Why?"

"Because we were distantly related, and there was a legal dispute to whom we would go to. In the end, they decided that we would go with either family. I went with Francis, and Alfred went with Arthur," he looked up. "But _they're_ not related, Francis is on our mother's side, and Arthur is on our father's side. Anyway, it turned out that Francis's family wasn't actually related to us, and I went to live with Alfred and Arthur and his family. It all gets really complicated from there." He sighed.

"Go on, we have a few more days," Nami said.

"Okay then. Arthur's parents died a few days after I got there, so Arthur had to raise us. Years later, Alfred got in a fight with Arthur and…" gave us a depressed look. "He dragged me and Francis into it, and then ran away [1]."

"But then why was he so happy to see him when Cap'n got here?" I asked.

"I didn't finish. That was a couple of years ago, and since then, he moved into his own house. Eventually, Arthur and Francis got in another fight, as usual, and since Arthur had the keys to Alfred's house, he snuck in and stole some stuff from Alfred. Alfred got mad and then _they_ got in a fight, and Alfred dragged me into it _again_. Eventually, Arthur and I got so fed up that we went to his house and burned it down,"

…What? Mathew, this shy, quiet guy in front of me, burning his own brother's house down? I just couldn't imagine it. "But in that case, who's Diana?"

"She was a street orphan that Alfred picked up. Alfred wasn't in the house at the time, but Diana was…" a look of deep remorse crosses his face.

"But what about the rest of the city?" asked Nami.

"That night, the winds blew the fire to the rest of the city. Luckily, it was a hurricane that night, so it was all put out. Alfred forgave us for that, and we kept in touch [2]."

"You burned his house down… and he forgave you?" asked Nami.

"Well… yeah,"

"What happened then?" I asked.

"Well, Arthur finally acknowledged Alfred as an adult from then on, and he later acknowledged me when I turned eighteen. And that's pretty much it," he concluded.

"What about his relationship with Antonio?" I asked.

"Well, Antonio used to be the strongest out of all of us, and he got into a fight with Arthur while on boats. Arthur managed to beat him, and Antonio sailed into a hurricane,"

"But what does that have to do with the trigger?"

"Well, Antonio was more of a maniac back then, but he's more laid back now. I think that seeing him with his old personality was the trigger."

"But why was he like that in the first place? He was just an ordinary guy when we saw him," said Nami.

"The thing with Antonio is that… he used to live with Lovino, and he's extremely overprotective of him sometimes. And since Arthur turned him into a little kid, he naturally got mad at him,"

"What about Peter?"

"Another distant relative. He moved in between the time Alfred left and I left, and not much really happened from then on. Unless you count the time he moved out. I guess that that's why he remembered him so easily,"

"As for the others…" he said without us asking "well, I'll have to add a few more names. These two people, Roderich and Elizabeta, were a married couple, but they broke up later," (he drew a rectangle with a complicated design with two elaborate crowns) "They broke into Ivan's house," (he started to draw a rectangle with a hook-like design, then erased it and drew a simpler one with three horizontal stripes) "and then Ludwig," (he drew yet another rectangle with three horizontal stripes, and then, realizing that it was similar to Ivan's symbol, shaded the stripes darker) "got into a fight with Bella, Francis, and Michel [3]," (he drew a tri-striped vertical rectangle that he shaded like Ludwig's, and a three striped horizontal one that he shaded slightly, then went on to shade Ivan's similarly. Then, he drew three lines that said 'fight') "All this was because Ivan got into a slight disagreement with Roderich and Elizabeta during a meeting and- [4]" he broke off. "Even if we do have time, I'm not exactly willing to go into every detail. Plus, they didn't actually break into Ivan's house; I got him confused with someone else. [5]"

"Well, I was on the verge of falling asleep, there. Can you get to the point?" Nami said slightly irritably.

"Okay then. Anyway, Ludwig, Roderich, Elizabeta, Feliciano, and Lovino all joined together in a fight between Arthur, Ivan, Francis, and I. Alfred didn't take sides for a while, and eventually joined us." (He drew each of the rectangles in turn, adding a flag similar to Frances', except with a different color scheme,). "We won the fight, and then we got into another one. But I won't bore you with the details, but Elizabeta and Roderich divorced, and Ivan got a new flag." (He drew three more flags, one tri-horizontal with two colors, one tri-color tri-horizontal with a crown design, and the third was the hook design from before.) "Here's the list. It was Ludwig, Feliciano, Lovino, Elizabeta and later Roderich, Kiku, and… never mind, no point in putting in names that you won't recognize. It was them versus Arthur, Francis, me, Yao, Ivan, and later Alfred. We won, in the end," (he drew all the flags, plus two new ones, one with a single dot and one with five stars) "That's all for the fights, at least. Feliciano and Lovino are afraid of Arthur, Kiku is friends with him, Yao hates him and so does Francis, Alfred, Peter, and I have sort of a brotherly relationship, he doesn't like Ivan, and Ludwig and Antonio don't think much of him, in a nutshell."

Something didn't quite add up about his explanation. "You're lying about something, aren't you?"

Nami gave me an incredulous look, while Mathew looked startled. "M-maple! You really noticed!"

"You actually confessed?" exclaimed Nami.

"Well, most of what I said was true… but all the rest has to do with the secret! I promise that I'll tell you when Arthur regains all his memories!"

In the hours that I knew Mathew- or Canada, as he said- I was sure that he was earnest. I knew that he wouldn't go back on his word. "Okay then, it's a promise."

We walked back to the inn in silence. If he couldn't tell us anything, there was no point in talking. When we got to the inn, we tried to creep up, but we were met by a strange sight.

Feliciano was awake. And he was wearing a dress.

THAT'S IT FORCHAPTER 10

[1] Family ties, Canada and France being dragged in- Canada was talking about the French and Indian War for the first part, where Britain got Canada. During the Revolutionary War, America invaded Canada to make life harder for the British, and became France's ally.

[2] Burning D.C., etc.- War of 1812. I already explained this in a previous chapter.

[3] Michel is Luxembourg; I just found the Wikipedia page and picked a random name.

[4] I was trying to write WWI from the nation's point of view, and put it into their terms, but I failed since I had no idea what happened in the first place. But since I liked how the paragraph turned out, I left it at that.

[5] I got WWI information from Wikipedia, but I forgot that Serbia was a country, not a city in Russia. Let's just say that Canada forgot, too…

All those rectangles were flags; I had a hard time describing some of them.


	11. Chapter 11

This chapter, I'm trying to focus more on other characters. Dialogue is what comes most naturally to me, so they're in small groups.

Chapter 11 (Sealand POV)

That night, Nami, Robin, and Canada left early, but I was the only one who noticed. America had this brilliant plan to get jerk-England drunk, claiming that it would help him regain his memories. Well, to make a long story short, the alcohol at the inn ran out, so we had to debate whether to use Germany's beer or Russia's vodka. Germany _had_ to have beer, but Russia had his pipe… Luckily, America had some old whiskey that turned out to be _really_ potent, so we watered it down a lot, enough for all of us to have some. Apparently, there were no drinking laws around here, so I drank some. Before long, jerk-England began to explain how Sirius Black was actually innocent, and that America threw away all his tea when he was a kid. "That tea was expensive~" he moaned.

"And who do you think was the one who supplied it, ahen?" yelled China angrily.

"Ve~ this is actually good," said North Italy while taking a sip.

"Not bad, but I prefer beer," said Germany.

"Isn't that all you ever drink, Potato jerk!" Romano yelled, already drunk.

"Gilbert's the same way," Spain put in.

"Gilbert? Who's he?" asked the reindeer, Chopper.

"Ludwig-san's brother. He got really nervous when he stopped drinking for a day," replied Japan. Man, it was _weird_ sitting and drinking with the nations that I was created to fight. Oh well, getting along with former enemies is one step to becoming a nation!

"I remember! Ludwig wanted you to stop eating salty foods, and he was guilty about it, so he stopped drinking beer!" said Italy.

France and Sanji were exchanging recipes and cooking techniques while this was going on. "So that's how you do it? I use another kind of pan, with less oil,"

This went on for a while, until France passed out.

We went upstairs to sleep, but since I didn't drink much, I stayed up for a little while longer. I shared a room with the Italy brothers, Germany, and Spain, so it was no wonder that I knew what happened next. It started something like this- "Sealand!" Germany yelled.

"What?" I responded.

"Vhy do I have a pair ov children's undervear and a push broom in my bag?"

"I don't know, why are you yelling at me?"

"Who else vould have undearvear zis size?"

"Ve~ let me see," broke in Italy. "Hm, looks familiar…" He looked up at Germany with a shocked expression. "Did you… ever live in Austria's house?"

"I do not think so, he lived in mine," Germany answered, not entirely understanding to question.

"I think that I knew you before the war!" exclaimed Italy. "Here, put this on," he rummaged through his bag and pulled out some clothes that would have fit Germany in his current state exactly. He put it on without much protest.

"I- I think zat I remember vearing someting like zis before,"

"Yeah, I remember when I was annexed by Austria, and I might have met you [1]. Do you remember being called the Holy Roman Empire?"

Germany shook his head. "I cannot remember."

"But you have my push broom!" Italy was frantic now. "And my underwear!"

There was an awkward silence.

At last, Romano spoke. "_Fratello_, you… you gave your underwear to Potato jerk!"

"Ve~ It was a long time ago!"

"Your underwear, of all things?"

"Hey, maybe you could ask Prussia," said Spain calmly. "He is your older brother, after all,"

"Good idea, if Germany can't remember, then he would," I said.

"H-hold on! I think that I can jog his memory! I just need a few minutes," Italy got his bag and took out a maid outfit, complete with head rag, and began to change.

"CHIGI! Wh-why are you wearing that again?" Romano began to sweat profusely.

Ignoring his brother, Italy finished changing and began to admire himself in the mirror. "Eh, I still need a broom," and without another word, opened the door-

And ran straight into Robin. From what I could see, her eyes were wide with shock. "Why are you-"

"M-maple!" so Canada was there, too.

"Ve~ I'm sorry, I just wanted a push-broom! Please don't kill me, I surrender!" He cried as he waved his white flag. Does this guy have a 'surrender immediately' instinct or something? And I had to fire down his planes?

"Feliciano? You're actually a girl?" asked Robin.

"N-no! you've got the wrong idea!" he began to cry. "When I was a little boy… _fratello_ and I were orphaned, and I had to become a maid in order to survive!"

Nami came out from behind Robin. "But you're a boy, why were you a maid?" So Canada went out on a double date with Robin _and_ Nami? He's better than I thought.

"Th-that's because… Mr. Edelstein thought I was a girl!"

"To be honest, I thought that he was a girl, too," Spain said, disregarding Italy's sobs.

"Not helping, Tomato jerk!" Romano yelled.

"Who's Mr. Edelstein?" I asked.

"Roderich Edelstein, the Piano jerk?" Romano said. "Put me and _fratello_ into maid outfits? Freeloaded off of Ludwig for a while?"

"Oh, right."

"Wasn't he the one who got into an argument with Ivan?" asked Robin.

"CHIGI! How did you know about that?"

"Mathew told us," said Robin.

"He what?" Romano raged. "Maple syrup jerk told you?"

"Wait a minute, who's Mathew?" asked Spain.

"I'm right here! I'm Canada!" Canada yelled. I forgot that I was the only one who could see him.

Then I realized what he said. "Hold on, you just said-"

"I already told them!"

Silence. "I'm sorry! They found out half of it, so I told them everything else except for _that_!" Even I knew that '_that'_ meant the fact that we were nations. "Ne vous inquiétez pas, le Canada n'est pas sur la carte," He said in French. Languages came naturally to nations, even micro nations, so I knew that Canada said "Don't worry; Canada is not on the map,"

"Anyway, why are you wearing a dress now?" asked Nami.

"Er… well… I thought that I knew Ludwig when we were kids, so I dressed as a maid so that he would remember!" He waved his arms as he spoke.

"But you said that you were little, right? Wouldn't it make more sense to-?"

"I am _not_ wearing a dress again!" Romano protested. I would be upset too, if I had to wear something like that.

Spain yawned. "Buenas noches," he got onto the bed and began to sleep.

"It's your match tomorrow, isn't it, Nami?" I asked. "We really should go to bed."

"Eh? Oh, yeah, good night!" She, Robin, and Canada rushed out of the room.

"Good night, everyone,"

"Gute Nacht," said Germany.

"Buonenotte," the Italy brothers said in unison. As we slept, I couldn't help but wonder why I was sleeping in the same bed as Spain and Romano.

The next morning…

"Ze next match vill be," Germany pulled out a strip of paper, "Me versus Nami!"

[1] Austria annexed Italy- I think that's what happened, I'm not sure. I trust Hetalia for the general ideas, but not the details.

America having whiskey as opposed to anything else is a reference to the Whiskey Rebellion. It has nothing to do with stereotypes; it was the only thing that involved a specific kind of alcohol in American history, so far. If I'm wrong, it doesn't make much difference.

The part with the tea refers to the Boston Tea Party, which was when Americans in Boston rioted due to the tax on tea, and threw the tea off Boston Harbor, and the Opium Wars, when Britain sold opium (a drug) to China so that they could get their tea. China was self-sufficient, so Britain had nothing that China would need; therefore Britain had nothing else to trade. There's a lot more than that, but that's one of the causes. Oh, and the fact that China said 'ahen' just came out because that's what he says to Iggy, but it worked out better than I thought!

The underwear and the push-broom were the items Chibitalia gave to HRE in the manga and anime respectively.

Sealand was a fort built during WWII, so I figured that he would have some animosity with the Axis. Well, not animosity as much as awkwardness.

Buenas noches, Gute nacht, and Buonenotte all mean good night in each of their languages, but I used Google translate for it.

I forgot to mention this last chapter, but the part when Canada told Robin that a loud place would attract less attention was a reference to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, when Sirius tells Hermione that they should have held their meeting at the inn.


	12. Chapter 12

To the guy that wondered what Austria and Russia argued about (his or her name is too long to write) - That wasn't meant to be anything. In 1873, Austria-Hungary, Germany, and Russia's leaders had a meeting, but Russia and Austria-Hungary could not agree on one of the issues. Austria-Hungary ended up forming the Dual Alliance with Germany without Russia in 1879, which looked like a threat to Russia. It was one of the causes of WWI, and Canada was explaining how it happened.

Did you know that 'Doitsu', Japanese for 'Germany', is actually closer to German for 'Germany' than it is in English? In German, 'Germany' is Deutschland. Don't ask me how we got 'Germany' from that…

Fine, I admit it, I made up some of the attacks. I'm not a hardcore One Piece fan, so I can't remember everything.

Chapter 12 (Sealand POV)

"W-wait a second! You're the ref; if you fight, wouldn't you be biased?" Ussop yelled.

"Ve~, Ludwig wouldn't be biased, he's-"

"He's got a point, you know." I cut Italy off. "I mean, we need a referee who isn't fighting. I nominate Robin!"

"Huh? Why me?" she asked.

"Out of everyone here, you're the sanest, and you don't seem to be biased." I got out my satchel and pulled out two flags, "Here, use these. The black, yellow, and red one's for G- Ludwig, and the white one's for Nami."

"Ve~, aren't those my white flags that you painted?" asked Italy good-naturedly.

"Er, yeah. Sorry, I got a bit bored, so I used the white flags that I stole from you last week to make your flags. I figured that since you already mass-produced so many, you wouldn't miss a few. I couldn't do Antonio's', or Gilbert's, since the designs are so complicated, but I've got everyone else's' [1]!" I paused for a moment. "Yes, even yours, Mathew. The maple leaf was a bit hard, but I managed it,"

"Thank goodness," he said breathily.

"Oi! Can you draw our flags, too?" asked Luffy. How he made such a quick recovery from Russia's pipe, I have no clue.

"Well, if it's anything complicated, I can't do it. Can you try, Feliciano?"

"Ve~ okay! But I'll have to see them first,"

"Here, all of us have our own flags!" Nami took a few slips of paper out of her shirt pocket and set them on the ground.

"Ve~ I keep paint with me all the time!" Italy got a few paint jars out of his uniform pocket and began to draw.

"So zat's vhy you never have room for anysing else!"

"So, are we fighting?" asked Nami. I guess that she just wanted to get it over with. She didn't seem the type to go looking for a fight.

"Ja, ve vill begin as soon as Robin says,"

"Right," Robin nodded. "Ready, set, paint!" Nami painted the palm of her hand, and Germany painted his neck.

"Go!"

Germany drew his pistol, and Nami swung a staff out of nowhere. "Try this! Lightning …" the clouds grew dark and began to crackle.

Being a sea nation, I knew what clouds like that could only mean. "Uh-oh, a storm's coming!" I said.

"Strike!" Nami threw her staff down and lay flat on the ground.

"Vhat are you-" FLASH! BOOM! Lightning struck Germany's gun, shocking him. He collapsed, but he stood up again. I took a closer look, and his gun was sparking. He noticed too, and pointed it at Nami. "Do you know vat ze blitzkrieg is?"

"Does it matter?" Nami picked her staff up and began to spin it. Lightning began to crackle in the distance. Was she a mage or something? England told me that witches and wizards couldn't do anything like that, so she had to be a mage!

"It does!" Germany yelled as he dodged a bolt of lightning.

"Fine, if you can't see," Nami gave her staff another whirl, and it began to snow. "No, wait, wrong button," So it wasn't magic after all, just complex machinery "Mirage wave!" The air around her shimmered, and five copies of her emerged out of nowhere.

"Impressive, but try zis!" He reached for his uniform pocket and pulled out a hand grenade, pulled the pin, and threw it. "Careful, it vill explode!"

Nami batted it away with her staff. "Then why tell me that?" The grenade flew towards Germany.

"So zat I can see vhere you are!" he dodged the grenade, raised his gun, and yelled "Finale Blitzeinschlag[2]!" He fired. Wait a second… his gun was still sparking! The bullet was charged!

All six Namis ducked at the same time, narrowly avoiding the bullet. "If electricity won't work, then-" She never got to finish her sentence. Germany ran towards her before she could do anything else, and smacked her palm.

"And zat iz ze blitzkrieg."All of us looked at him curiously. "Vhat, it's not like I vas going to shoot her,"

"… Ludwig wins?" Robin said uncertainly.

"I guess," said England. Man, it was weird having him like this, forgetting even the Blitz. It was as if his amnesia gave him a blank slate, and his personality had diminished to virtually nothing. All his anger had faded, but even if he is less violent, he's just not Jerk-England anymore. What if he never regains his memory? Or worse yet, remembers everything he's been through before he remembers that he's a nation? Normal people can't handle that much bloodshed, hundreds of years of it. He'd go mad before… no, don't think about it.

"Anyway, how many fights are we going to do today?" I asked, trying to shake off my depressing thoughts. "We've done two yesterday, how many can we squeeze in?"

"Let's have one now, then we can have pasta~" said North Italy, already finished with the drawings. From what I could see, they were better than the originals.

"You're only saying that because you don't have to fight," Ussop muttered. Actually, Ussop, he's only saying that because he wants pasta.

"Shut up, we'll fight you when the rest of the fights are over!" I blurted out.

"And by 'we', you mean…" Romano began furiously.

"Come on, it'll be the three of us against one of them, and I've got heavy artillery!"

"Vhat? Feliciano cannot fight, you should know that, Peter!" Germany yelled.

Spain put his hand on my shoulder. "If Lovino gets hurt in any way…" He subtly drew his axe. Oh, man, Spain's gone into his psycho-Conquistador mode!

"Let's see who's fighting next," Nami pulled out another piece of paper. "Ussop vs. Antonio?"

Ussop blanched in terror. "A-Antonio? I'm going to die…"

DONE! I put up a poll to see who would fight Sealand and the others, go check it out!

[1] Prussia and Spain's flags- Prussia's flag has an eagle, and Spain's flag has its coat of arms on it, so I doubt that Sealand could draw them, and he didn't want to mess them up.

[2] Finale Blitzeinschlag, Germany's final attack- German for Final Lightning Strike.


	13. Chapter 13

Note- This takes place in 1994 in the real world. So, this is the reason that Spain… Well, you'll see. Sorry if I offend anyone, but honestly, it's impossible not to with Hetalia. Unless you're Japanese. It seems as if Japan had the least offensive content, since the creator is Japanese.

Germany fighting Nami with lightning just came out. I picked the fights randomly, and Germany ended up with Nami somehow.

Chapter 13 (Iggy POV)

"Oh man, he's going to kill me," Ussop muttered. I could understand; Antonio was pretty intimidating.

"I guess, he does look strong," Sanji said unhelpfully.

"Not everyone can be as strong as you, Sanji," Nami barely got out of the fight with Ger- Wait a second, why did I think of him as- what was it again?

"Ger… Ger… Germany?" I said. Another flashback rushed into my mind, but I got used to it by the time I had the one of Antonio.

Another city was burning, but this time, instead of sorrow, I felt pain. Thunder- no, planes- roared across the sky, sirens blared in the ruined streets, and more bombs kept falling. Worse yet, there was nothing I could do to help them. I could only leave it to fate. An elderly couple, too slow to get to any shelter in time, fell victim to the blasts. As the last breaths left their bodies, agony wracked through my body. _D-Damn you, Germany! It's been fifty days_ [1]_-_

"Cap'n? Cap'n!" Robin shook me.

"R-Robin!"

"What was that?" Robin asked.

"L-Ludwig's real name. It's Germany," But why was I in so much pain back then? I wasn't the one hit, so what happened?

"I'll keep that in mind," Nami took out a notepad and jotted it down.

"Can't this wait? This guy looks like he's going to kill me!"

"¿Qué?" Antonio asked. I think he said 'what' by my translation instinct.

"Nothing!" Ussop yelled franticly. "Man, he's so strong, he's confident enough to be calm before a fight!"

"Don't worry, he's always like this," I put in.

"He is? So he can stay calm in this situation while I panic!" I couldn't follow his logic, but there's nothing I can do if he's that hysterical.

"Ussop, keep in mind that he can't kill you," Nami tried to calm him down.

"Like that make a difference!"

"Well, you could just surrender," I said.

Ussop stood up a bit taller. "I am a man of the sea, and I won't back down!"

"Well, go on, then. You said you would,"

Ussop looked defeated, and got out a slingshot-staff thingy. "Okay, I'll try," he said nervously.

"Ready, set paint!" Ludwig- no, Germany- yelled. Without another word, Ussop dabbed his finger in the paint, and Antonio painted his left knee. "Fight!"

"Take this! Fire Bird star!" Ussop shot a flaming projectile off his slingshot staff. Good, he took the first step; it'll be so much easier for him now.

FWAP! Antonio kicked it back like a football. "What the-" Ussop shot another round of projectiles, ranging from ordinary pebbles to more flaming bullets, but Antonio either deflected or dodged them all. "Try this! Tabasco star!"

It hit him right in the mouth, and he fell backwards. "Ha! That much Tabasco sauce is enough to make a lion choke-" Antonio got to his feet without any indication of pain. "Wh-what?"

Lovino smirked. "If you think that was bad, you should try his cooking,"

"It's that bad, huh?" Nami asked.

"No, just too spicy. But I had to eat it for years until I moved out,"

"Ve~, I had to live with Mr. Edelstein, and his food was horrible," Feliciano said.

"Wait a second… you two were separated?" Nami's expression changed from amused to horrified in seconds.

Lovino nodded. "We were raised by our grandfather, until he died when we were little. After that, everyone wanted legal custody of us because of out inheritance [2]. Eventually, we ended up with Piano-jerk, who kept _fratello_ and dumped me with Tomato-jerk and his mother,"

"Just like Mathew and Alfred," Nami said under her breath.

"If that won't work, then," Ussop shot another lead ball. Again, Antonio jumped up to kick it, "Gunpowder star!" Antonio kicked it, but it exploded on impact. He crumpled, his hand wrapped around his right knee. "How do you like that?"

Antonio got up, his axe drawn. I saw from the look in his eyes that he had not snapped, but Ussop seemed to think otherwise. He was cowering in fear at the sight of him. "I- I won't r-run away," he kept telling himself. Antonio rushed towards him. "Kyaaaaaa!" he closed his eyes.

But he needn't have worried. Antonio had collapsed just before delivering the final strike, and was clutching his stomach. "Os maldicen, el desempleo del veinte por ciento la tasa [3]," he muttered, clearly in pain. I might be wrong, but I thought he said 'curse you, twenty percent unemployment rate'. My intuition said that he probably was right, but my brain said that that was impossible. Maybe my internal translator was faulty.

Ussop slapped him on the left knee. "I guess I win, then. I mean, it was my Tabasco sauce that gave him that stomachache!"

"I guess," said Zoro. No, it wasn't that at all, I was certain of it. But he already hit the spot, so there's nothing that I could do.

"Ve~ Can we have pasta now?" Feliciano asked.

"Yes, ve vill have two more fights aftervards," Germany said. Even though I felt that the bombings were his fault, I still couldn't bring myself to truly hate him. Yes, I still felt anger, but I felt that he was not entirely at fault. Plus, I didn't know the whole story, so why humiliate myself by premature action?

"Yay! Ve, Ve~!" Feliciano somehow managed to pull several pots and pans out of nowhere, while Lovino got out all the ingredients.

"Hold on, I'll build the fire," From a distant memory, I knew that Germany did not trust him with fire or any kind of explosive except for when he made hand grenades.

Before long, Feliciano and Lovino had used up of at least a pound of flour making the pasta from scratch, and Francis- bloody frog, I told myself- and Sanji had gotten bored and started to make some food of their own.

In the meantime, Yao had taken out a large amount of plates, bowls, and chopsticks, and realized that we were eating Western food after he had gotten everything out. Luckily, the Straw Hats had plenty of cutleries, and we managed to find some rocks to sit on. It was a great view; we were halfway up the mountain with the town and sea before us, and the noon bells were ringing in the distance.

"So, you also follow the way of the sword?" Kiku asked Zoro over a cup of tea.

"Yes, ever since childhood. Same with you?"

Kiku then nodded. "As long as I can remember, I carried a sword alongside me."

"How can he eat so much?" Yao asked while giving Luffy a semi-disgusted look.

"I really haven't figured that out yet," Chopper replied.

"Can I hug you?"

"Er… maybe?" Chopper was caught completely off guard by this question.

"You made zis?" Germany asked Ussop about his slingshot staff. It was difficult to see him as a child now.

"Yeah, it's my crowning glory! I used these things called Dials, which boost the power…"

"How about a drinking contest?" Nami asked.

"Da, I accept your challenge," Ivan got out another crate of vodka. How much vodka did he have, anyway?

This went on until we ran out of food, about two or three hours later, a long time considering Luffy's appetite. By then, Kiku had known everything about all the katanas that Zoro had ever owned, Yao had cuddled Chopper several times, Germany had upgraded several of his guns and Ussop had made a model of his newest slingshot ammo. Unfortunately, Ivan had won the drinking contest, and Nami had gotten so drunk that we decided to wait until tomorrow to hold the next fight. Either way, Robin pulled the slip anyway, so we knew what was coming next.

"Wang Yao vs. Sanji."

[1] The bombing scene- that was the Blitz, a German air raid on Great Britain. It lasted for fifty-seven days, 40,000 civilians were killed.

[2] The Italy brother's inheritance- that part doesn't just refer to the Roman Empire's wealth; it also refers to Italy's fertile land. Romano doesn't say the latter because it just wouldn't make as much sense.

[3] Spain's muttering in Spanish- It really was 'Curse you, 20% unemployment rate'. I got this off of Wikipedia, so take it with a grain of salt, but apparently Spain had a 20% unemployment rate in the 90's. The reason for his stomachache was the economy, not the Tabasco sauce. Note- This was the most complicated sentence I used Google Translate for, so it is most likely highly inaccurate.


	14. Chapter 14

The reason that Nami got drunk and couldn't stay up was because I wanted to have this 'inn scene'. Other ideas that were scrapped were- a) Night comes earlier on this island and b) China and Sanji's fight was so long and boring, it was night by the time they finished.

Chapter 14 (Robin POV)

"Ugh… what happened?" Nami lay on the inn bed in our shared room.

"You got into a drinking contest with Ivan, and you passed out," I replied.

"What? I've never lost one before, how could this kid just-"

"He's not a kid, remember? Even if he looks like one, he's still a grown man," But I could understand why she was so upset. She had pride in her ability to out-drink other pirates to gain their trust, and Ivan had just dashed her hopes.

"Mm. I get the feeling that they've hiding more than just that. I think that we should check it out,"

"By spying?"

She nodded. "I'm going to go, even if you're not,"

I sighed. Might as well come with her, it's always better to know more. "Let's try the next room over. If anyone asks, we were sleeping the whole time,"

We silently crept toward the wall that separated us and the next room, where Peter and the others were talking. "… Look, Tomato jerk, it happened right in the middle of a fight, there's no way you'd be all right after that,"

"Don't worry, it'll pass," Antonio seemed to be normal right now, why was he so worried?

"Spain, you've been like this for years, you can't recover just like that!" Lovino exclaimed, not calling him jerk for once. Wait a second… Antonio's name is Spain…

I beckoned to Nami to write that down. She complied.

"Romano!" Antonio- or Spain- yelled firmly. "It'll be all right, you know I've had worse," he softened his voice.

"But still…" Lovino- or Romano- said in a defeated sort of voice. He tried to change the subject. "In that case, why do you hate us so much, Sealan-"

"Ve vill not say Peter's name vhen ve are here!" Great job, Germany. Now we don't know Peter's name, either. But why would he have to hide his name?

"But why not?" said Peter. Yeah, something was suspicious here.

"Because your name and Arthur's name gives the most away, right? I mean, Spain and Romano don't give anything away, but your name does," said Spain.

"Fine then, but in that case Prussia can't call you you-know-what, Germany," Peter compromised.

I think that Germany nodded. "Let's get to ze point. Vhy do you hate Italies?"

Peter was quiet for a moment, and then said "I know, I should forgive you,"

"Just get to the point, Sailor jerk," said Romano.

"It's not just them… I also used to hate you, too… I was literally born to fight the seven of you [1]," Peter said gloomily. Now this was getting deeper! What did he mean by 'born to fight the seven of you'? Who were the other three? "Anyway, why the bloody hell did you keep dropping the phrases 'blitz' and 'blitzkreig', Germany?" Peter retaliated.

"Zat iz because I vanted him to remember someting, and zat iz vhat he remembers most,"

"But the Blitz of all things… I still have some memories of it…" Peter said shakily.

"Ve~? I thought that you weren't even born then," That coming from someone only a few years older…

"I know, just…" I couldn't see, but I could imagine Peter sitting in the fetal position against the wall. "The iron factory you bombed… the memory of that day was imprinted on my body,"

I had no idea what he was talking about, but the others clearly did. "Let's all go to bed…" Spain said at last. We heard a rustle of sheets, and went back over to the other end of the room, where our beds were.

"Okay, so this is what we know," Nami showed me her notepad. On it, each of the new people and Cap'n had their own page, with their names at the top and a dash next to it, and their flags. "Here are the names they go by and here are their real names, which we don't know all of them," I looked at Ludwig's page, and he did have 'Germany' written next to his name. "All this blank space is where what else we know about them, like their speech patterns and their personality, and their history. This is what we know about Ludwig," It said 'Likes Feliciano, acts like a drill sergeant, might have known Feliciano when they were little, Gilbert's brother, got in a fight with Francis, bombed s an iron factory, is somehow related to 'Blitz' and 'Blitzkreig'. "This is what we know about-"

"Hold on, we both already know all this, what do we know now?"

She flipped to Antonio's page. "I think that he has some sort of disease that stopped him in the middle of the fight. But how can we tell Chopper without letting him know that we've been spying?"

I thought about it for a second. "We say that we noticed something during the fight, and then he'll treat him. After all, Tabasco sauce doesn't cause a stomachache. And Lovino said it himself, his cooking is spicy, so he should able to take it even if it did," _Or we could wait until it happens again,_ I thought, but Nami wouldn't have accepted such an answer.

She turned to Peter's page. "Now we know that his name starts with Sealan-, and he said that he was born to fight the seven of them He was serious then. We don't know anything else, but that includes Ludwig, and Lovino, and possibly Feliciano and Antonio."

"But who are the Italies?" I asked.

"Let's put that down, too. Next up is that the Blitz is imprinted on Peter's body," Nami jotted something down.

"All we know is that it had something to do with an iron factory, but I have another thing to add. Lovino is Feliciano's older twin brother, right? If that's true, then he'd have to be ten, at the oldest when he was targeted, and years until Peter could be ready,"

"…You think that Peter is an assassin?"

I nodded. Even children could be dangerous sometimes. I knew that as well as anyone.

"But we don't know for sure. Lastly, there's this 'Gilbert' person and this 'Prussia' person. We don't know if they're the same person, but for right now they share the same page,"

I yawned. Nami got the hint and blew out the lantern.

[1] The six of them- Sealand was made to defend against the Axis, since he's a fort. Nami and Robin thought that the seven of them referred to everyone else in the room. By the way, there were actually six countries that were part of the Axis (Germany, Italy, Japan, Hungary, Romania, and Bulgaria) but I counted Romano as a different person than Veneciano.


	15. Chapter 15

China vs. Sanji was actually one of the fights that wasn't randomized, the others being Luffy/Russia and Zoro/America. Oh yeah, I reread my earlier chapters, and it turns out that Nami and Robin weren't at the inn, and Canada never told them, so they don't know who 'Gilbert' is, i.e. they overheard them talking about Prussia, but they never heard the name Gilbert come up.

Chapter 15 (Sealand POV)

The next morning, we ate breakfast at the inn. Luffy ate everything in sight while Canada sleepily poured maple syrup on his stack of pancakes and Luffy's hands; and America ate so rapidly that I couldn't even see what he was eating. The rest of us ate like normal people, or at least as normal we could get. Germany and Russia drank their alcohol despite the fact that it was still morning while Nami eyed the vodka warily, Romano had gotten in a one-sided argument with Spain, and threw a tomato at him, and China and Japan, forgetting how to use forks, had gotten sticks from the yard to use as chopsticks, which would have been less noticeable if they had just eaten something besides rice.

I looked over to England, and just as I thought, he was drinking tea with scones while talking to Canada. I hope that he has enough tea; he's scary when he doesn't get any.

"You are not worried about your fight, Yao-san?" Japan asked China.

"No, aru. I am your, older brother after all,"

"…I suppose," Japan said, serene as ever.

"Aiyah, why do you always say that?" China moaned.

"So this girly guy's your opponent, Sanji? Looks like we can start our winning streak!" Franky yelled.

Sanji nodded enthusiastically. "I can win this!"

Later, at the clearing…

"Ein, zwei, drei, PAINT!" Germany shouted. Sheesh, he's just like my first boss, back when I was still a British fort. Anyway, China and Sanji both painted their chests. "Begin!"

Sanji aimed a kick at China, but he dodged it and thrust his left wrist under Sanji's lifted ankle. "Ugh…" With his leg stuck in the air like that, there's nothing he could do! Way to go, China! "I'm not done for yet!" With his other leg, Sanji jumped over China using China's left arm as a fulcrum. "This is the end!" He yelled as he stamped downward.

China said nothing, but tucked himself into a somersault and rolled forward, barely evading the kick. As soon as Sanji hit the ground behind him, China did a backwards flip over him and landed neatly in front of him. "The match is over." He said.

What just happened? "Did he do something?" I asked Canada, who had miraculously appeared next to me.

He nodded. "He jabbed him so quickly, I could barely see that he did it at all. But he felt it for sure." Canada was right, Sanji was clutching his chest.

I turned to England, and he seemed to be having another flashback..

"What do you remember?" asked Canada.

"…Tea?" he said. "I can't see very much, but it definitely involved tea."

"Tea? Tea? Everything with you involves tea!" I shouted exasperatedly. You're the bloody United Kingdom; you're practically synonymous with tea! I wanted to say that, but I knew I shouldn't

"But it wasn't just that, I didn't have any tea then for some strange reason. And then I got into a fight with Yao…" was he talking about the Opium Wars [1]? Yes, he definitely was!

"Do you remember anything else?" Canada pressed.

"No," he replied firmly… he was lying.

"Come on, we're your brothers, and even if you won't tell us we already knew all about it from before!" I said cheerfully. That sounded rather stalkerish, but there's no point in hiding if the people you're hiding from already know.

"Okay then… I remember trying to fight Ivan, but something went wrong… and I lost. Badly. He thought I was drunk… [2]" he murmured, embarrassed. "Don't you dare breathe a word of this to anyone else!"

Great! He was regaining his old personality! It didn't matter if he was less angry and prone to hitting people now, what we wanted was the old Jerk-England.

I was so overjoyed that I barely heard Canada say "Too late, they already know. Like Peter said, all of us knew about it from before,"

I half-expected him to crumble is despair, but he smirked. "But I know more than just that now. When America ran away, he had no idea what he was doing, and he ended up having a riot on his hands [3],"

"Anything else?" I asked. The more he knew, the better.

"Yes… Oh yes, I'm never going to let the bloody frog live this one down…"

"What is it?"

"France tried to get into a fight with Russia, but he failed because it was so cold, and everyone in the city had run away and taken their supplies with them [4]," He said maliciously. "And then-"

"Alright, alright, that's enough-"

"Hang on, you said America and Russia," I cut Canada off. "You remember their real names now!"

"Well, of course I do, that's because what triggers my memories is-"

BLAM! Oh, (I am not willing to reveal such a horrific word in front of little children), it's the police! I counted five people, each in a blue uniform. A shorter man came up to us, revolver in hand. He was clearly the leader. "Hello, we are investigating a recent crime in the area. A suspicious duo came near the station not long ago, and began to disturb the peace. When officers tried to reprimand them, they ran away. We have reasons to believe that they have fled here. Have you seen them?" He lifted up a black-and-white photo depicting two familiar people.

"Maple! Isn't that-"

"Not to interrupt, but I forgot what makes me remember," Oh, (Curses), Jerk-England forgot!

Sorry for the shortness! Note- Iggy's memories were military failures from history. I couldn't do all the ones that I found, but this works well enough.

[1] Opium Wars- I'm sorry, for a reason that I shall not disclose I am biased in this subject. You'll have to look it up.

[2] England vs. Russia- that was the Charge of the Light Brigade, a colossal failure made due to bad communication. The original orders were unknown, but British troops misheard the commands as orders to charge at the main Russian troops. It can easily be summed up in a few words- the Russians thought that the British soldiers were drunk.

[3] America running away, riot- Shay's rebellion. When America became independent, the government was called the Articles of Confederation, which was supposed to be a weak central government so that the people and the states would be most powerful, since they did not want to become like Britain. But the government was way too weak, and they just had a long war, so the rich merchant class dominated to economy. Worse yet, it was a bartering system (bartering- trading item-to-item, no money involved), and bartering does not work in a large economy, because nothing has value anymore. How may beets equal a cow?

Farmers had taxes and debts that they had to pay, and if they did not pay they would go into debt jail and have all their property sold. Daniel Shay rebelled against this. The upper class had thought that their government was perfect, but the riot was a wake-up call to reform the system.

Agh, this would make much more sense if I wrote this during school… I need a textbook here!

[4] France's invasion of Russia- Napoleon invaded Russia in 1812, but it failed for the reasons given. The Russians abandoned Moscow, leaving nothing for Napoleon and his troops to seize. No loot=No food.

I hate to explain this, but Sealand's boss does not refer to Churchill, but rather whoever was in charge of the base at the time.


	16. Chapter 16

I have always wanted to do this. You'll see what I mean by the end of the chapter.

Note- Robin's a bit OOC here, but I'll make this clear- Robin and Iggy have a younger sister/older brother relationship in my eyes, like him and America. They are not in love.

Just for the fun of it, I'll babble on about my views on the differences between nations and humans for this entire paragraph. Fingerprints- like humans, nations have fingerprints, but they vaguely look like the shape of the country. Mind reading- if mind reading is attempted, then it won't work as usual. The mind reader would see images from history that lined up with how the country is feeling. For example, if Italy was feeling happy, then images of the Renaissance would appear, or if China was feeling proud, images of great buildings or food would show up.

Warning! Words in foreign languages! But you can tell what they're saying by the context.

Chapter 16 (Robin POV)

After the fight, all of us headed for the town except for Cap'n, Canada, and Peter, who stayed behind after Cap'n had another flashback. I'm glad that he's recovering… and I hope that he regains his personality, too. Mathew had told me and Nami about Feliciano and Lovino being afraid of him, and Francis and Yao hating him, but I knew about that side of him. He was always angry, spiteful, and prone to choking people when he got annoyed with them, but that's just how he was.

"Ve~ look, they're selling pasta on the street!" Feliciano went bounding towards the stall like a puppy or a little kid. "How much is it? Five hundred berries, okay," he paid for it.

As long as he's happy… "Aw, this tastes yucky," Or not.

"Hey! You can't just waltz in here and insult my food!" the stall keeper yelled. He looked familiar… Oh yeah, we went to his restaurant the night before last.

"Ve~ but it sucks!" Feliciano whined.

Well, I thought that it was good. I took a step forward, but Germany held me back.

"Just… bear wis it," Germany said next to me, way too mature for his size. "He does zis all ze time," Really? I had a new respect for Germany. "He vonce wrote a praise-song zat insulted my _wurst_,"

Worst? "Your worst what? If it's your worst cooking, then-" Asked Ussop.

"_Wurst_. It is a kind of sausage," said Kiku. "Made from intestine. Fericiano-san has always been peculiar about his food; it is a good ting that he is a good cook,"

"Well, if it sucks so much, then why don't you make your own?" roared the owner.

"Ve~ Okay!" Instantly, he dashed off screen and appeared again, wearing his maid outfit. He began to place more pots on the ground from out of nowhere and began to boil water.

"_F-Fratello_?" yelled Lovino, "W-why are you wearing _that_ again?"

"Ve? Oh, it helps me cook for crowds better!" he flounced around a little, which made him _really_ look like a crossdresser.

"You _like_ that _thing_?" Lovino waved his arms aggressively, and then jumped onto a crate conveniently placed at shoulder height next to his brother, grabbed him by the neck, and began to strangle him. "Non sai quanto ho sofferto a causa di quel vestito [1]!" I couldn't understand a word he said, but I got the idea.

"L-let g-go of m-me… _Fratelllo_!" I wanted to stop him, but there's nothing I could do against a kid. "Mi stai soffocando! Mi stai soffocando [2]!"

"This happen often?" Nami asked Spain. "You're awfully stoic."

"_Sí_ … He hits me sometimes… but I really like him," He went from gloomy to happy in about one second.

"Just like Cap'n," I said under my breath.

"Eh?" Spain said under the impression that I was talking to him.

"Mi arrendo! Ego deditionem! Je me rend! Me rindo! I surrender [3] !" He yelled in a dozen more languages waving a white flag, while Lovino kept on throttling him.

"Excuse me?" A man in blue- not a Marine- came up to them and tapped Feliciano on the shoulder. "What exactly are you doing? It is forbidden to wear such an outfit in public, and-" He was too busy being choked to listen. "Pay attention to me, young lady-"

"But I'm not a girl!" He somehow managed to shout.

The policeman stood there for a moment. I could see his blood pressure rise by the second. "Then _you_ are guilty of transvestite indecency, and _you_ are guilty of attempted murder!" It took me five seconds to realize that he was talking about Lovino. "And so you-"

Two things happened at the same time. Lovino threw a tomato at him. Feliciano seemed to shrink back. As soon as the tomato made contact with the policeman's head, Feliciano yelled, "F- Fuggire [4]!" He grabbed Lovino and ran back towards the forest, where Cap'n, Peter, and…er, Canada were.

"Stop! You are disrupting the peace! Men are not allowed to wear woman's clothes!" The cop chased after him, tomato juice streaming down his face and into his uniform. I would hate to be him… Surprisingly, Feliciano was still ahead of him despite his usual slow pace.

"I hav not figured out vhy, but Italy is only fast vhen he is retreating. It is such a pain during training," Germany said, half irritated and half exhausted. So Feliciano's real name is Italy.

"Oi, Lovino is also It-" Spain began, but Francis clapped his hand to his mouth.

"L'ignorer," he said, which basically meant to ignore him. Maybe we should investigate his room next.

"I can't believe that I was beaten by that girly guy in front of Nami…" Sanji lamented.

"Maybe you should stick with cooking," Zoro said levelly.

"What did you say?" Sanji was on fire now… literally. "I will train until my limbs break, and then train harder the next day, to win Nami's love!"

Alfred dumped water on him. "What? Come on, he was on fire! I mean, ever since Iggy and Mattie burned my house down…"

"Robin?" Nami asked over all the hullabaloo.

"Yes?"

"Do you remember the seastone?" She held up the jar discreetly.

I hung my head. "I'll ask when he gets back," I can't believe I forgot! But we'll get our answers soon enough.

(POV shift, Sealand)

Back in the forest, the three of us gaped at the picture a second time. It was the Italy brothers for sure. "Why is he…?"

"We caught him and his brother/sister disturbing the peace earlier today. The older one broke the law by wearing this… monstrosity," I guess he meant the dress…

"What about L-the other one?" I asked.

"S/he was caught in the act of attempted murder by suffocation," He thought that Romano might be a girl?

"Er… actually, that happens a lot," said Canada, but the policemen took no notice.

"Have you seen-?" The man began, but he stopped.

Another policeman came up to him. "We've found them; they were hiding in a tomato crate. I don't know where all the tomatoes are, though,"

Well, _I_ knew, but I wasn't about to go and tell them that we knew them. But I still had to ask; I was the only one who could and not look suspicious. "But where are they now?" I gave them my best 'innocent little boy' face.

He gave me a 'aw-you're-a-cute-little-kid' look, and said, "In the town underground prison, of course!" He patted me on the head. Well, this might just be a problem.

[1] When Romano strangles Italy- You have no idea how much I have suffered because of that dress! Italian

[2] Italy while being strangled- You're choking me! Italian

[3] Italy yelling I surrender- All mean the same thing, except in Italian, Latin, French, Spanish, and then English, which seemed to be the order of importance. Actually, I forgot the order since I just used Google Translate, and I write this part last, so I might have missed something.

[4] Italy before running away- Run away! Italian

Note- What I've always wanted to do was put someone in prison. It didn't matter who, I just wanted to put anyone in prison. That's not to say that it was not my intention to put the Italy brothers in jail for the sake of the plot, I just wanted to have one part involving being arrested.


	17. Chapter 17

About the poll- I really need votes here! If there's a tie, I break it, so don't worry. Ze Awesome Prussia will be coming soon, so just wait!

The accents are back on! Note- I use Fleur Delacour's accent for France, she's from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Unfortunately, I have no idea what a Spanish accent sounds like, well, I can't put it into writing. Japanese R/L will not be used in words that change pronunciation greatly when changed, ex. Are and Ale.

The name 'Sealand' is an oxymoron. I mean Sea and Land, mixed together? And it's not even land, it's made of metal.

Chapter 17 (Iggy POV)

Oh, bugger. Now those two were off in jail. I'm proud of Peter for asking in a way that wouldn't be suspicious, but right now what was important was where they were. "The underground prison, that's what he said, right?" I asked when he was out of sight. I can't believe that the bloody git interrupted us right in the middle of something important!

Mathew nodded. "Do you have a plan?"

"Why are you asking me?" I had thought that Mathew was the smarter of him and Alfred, so I was sure that he was the one who would come up with a plan.

"Because you're the one who used to boss the both of us around!" Peter said. "You organized everything, even the battles that you put us through! You're the reason Alfred attacked Mathew, and you stuck me where I could watch your back, without your protection!"

Battles? Assigning Peter to a sea post… 1812? _Defend against G-… mines… "A-… he invaded…" _Images and words passed through my head, as if I was on LSD_ "I'm out of your jurisdiction! I'm seven miles off! G- knows I'm a-" "E-… Thank you. You'll always be welcome here in C-… _[1]_" _I straightened up. All of the visions vanished, leaving only my own coherent thoughts in peace. "Sealand. Canada." It wasn't a question. Those were their names.

"You finally remember!" Sealand exclaimed. "I thought that you were tripping again!"

"But still, do you have a plan?" Canada asked. I trusted him to keep us on track.

I thought for a moment. "We'll have to scout it out first." We set out towards the town, where Sealand had thought he saw a jail somewhere.

"With such a small island like this," he reasoned, "there would probably be only one prison. I mean, one would be enough, wouldn't it?" We decided that that was logical, and came to a stop at the local prison. We voted to send Canada in first.

"If you run into trouble, sing as loud as you can." I told him. He nodded, and sprinted in. "Sealand, if I go in, you'll have to stay behind. I need you to watch our backs. If any reinforcements arrive, stop them,"

I expected him to complain, but he grinned instead. "Don't worry, I have _this_!" he drew a gun- a sniper rifle- out of nowhere. He began to load, and mounted it on a rock. I knew that it might take a while for Canada to return, so I began to read an old book that I found in my bag.

"Santa Rita Meeta Meata Ringo Jonah Tito Marlin Jack Layota Janet Michel Dumbled-"

"Ô Canada! Terre de nos aïeux," I heard Canada sing loudly from the prison.

"Vhat are you doing here? Und vhy are you singing?" Blast it! It's Germany!

"M-Maple! H-how did you see me?"

"¿Qué? I could always see you," so Antonio's here, too!

"I did not notice you. I am solly," Kiku too? "Why are you here?"

"I heard that Feliciano and Lovino were here, I wanted to bail them out," It was just like Canada to find a nonviolent solution. Although that was a good thing, that was the reason why people just don't notice him. "But why are you here?"

"Because even if we have been disbanded and it is only se three of us here, we are still se mighty Axis," said Kiku. Axis? That sounded familiar…

"Italy iz my friend, I vill not leave him in a place like zis," Germany said.

"Si poner una mano sobre Romano, voy a pintar las paredes de color rojo con su sangre…" Antonio said, but he didn't sound the same. Instead of his usual bright and airy tone, his voice was dripping with bloodlust. I was sure that he said 'If they lay a hand on Lovino, I will paint the walls red with their blood'.

"C-carm down, Antonio-san, we should bring Masew-san wis us,"

"Vell, zere is no harm en-"

CLANK. Sealand dropped a cartridge on the rock, and gave me a sheepish grin. Germany spun around. "Who is zere?" No point in hiding anymore. I stood up.

"I-Ig- I mean, Alsur-san? Why are you here?"

Time to come clean. "I was the one who sent Canada in there; we were going to infiltrate the prison and release Feliciano and Lovino,"

"H-hold on a second, you just said Canada… are you regaining your memolies?" asked Kiku.

I nodded. "It only comes in flashes, so I can't remember much. But that's not important right now; do you have a plan to get in?"

"Vell, vhat hav you discovered, Canada?" Germany asked. "Ve need it for our plan."

"Well… the key isn't anywhere in sight. I think that the warden has it, and he's not here. Otherwise, the security is pretty lax; it should be easy to get in,"

"Zen ve go!" Both Germany and Antonio bashed the door at the same time. It wasn't just knocked off its hinges; it crumpled where Germany's boot and Antonio's axe hit it.

I gestured to Sealand to stay here. He groaned, but to no avail. I wasn't going to listen to him at a time like this. Canada and I followed them through the empty threshold.

Canada was right; no one was there, not even inmates. Good, it would be easier this way. From what I could see of it, the prison was small. It had little in the way of containment, only the basest vertical bars and a lock kept prisoners from escaping. Its only redeeming value was the floor structure. The office was in the front and the cells were in the back, but what was most important was the angle of the floor. Whoever dug these tunnels did a good job, it sloped downhill. The unwary bystander would not see a difference, but some would see at first glance that escaping from the back would be a great ordeal; to escape one would have to run uphill from the back to the front. In other words, easier in than out.

"Lovino!" Antonio saw something at the end of the hallway, and so did Germany. I peered closer, and saw the cell furthest from us. Feliciano and Lovino were jointly imprisoned in the same there, and they looked upset.

"Ve~ they caught us at the pizza stand!" Feliciano yelled while crying.

"That's because you stopped to try that stuff! It tasted like Tea Jerk's cooking!" Lovino cried.

"Excuse me?" He had the nerve to insult my-

"CHIGI! Why is he here?" Lovino screamed. I only had a moment's glimpse of his terror before another vision hit me. _I pushed N- I- in the cell, S-I- was already in there. "Eh? Freatello, how did you get in here?"…- "I'll tell you everything I know, just don't break us with your"- _

"Hey! How did you five get in here?" Confound it! He's-

"Estás despierto!" Antonio screamed into my ear. 'You're awake!' I translated. "You've been out since yesterday,"

"Good, we were worried about you," Kiku said.

"But where the bloody hell are we?"

"Ja, ja, ve got zem out, but now ve…" Germany was embarrassed when he said that. "Vell, take a look." I took a look around, and saw what he meant.

We were the ones in prison now. Oh well, time to start the screaming and threatening.

[1] Sealand and Canada, and England's memories of them- Canada and Sealand were under British jurisdiction at some point. Canada was a colony won in the French and Indian War, and Sealand was a fort put seven miles off of Britain's coast, despite the fact that Britain's water 'land' claim was only three miles off the coast. Therefore, Sealand was not under Britain's protection, or at least officially. In the order that I put them, the memories are:

_Defend against G-… mines… _Sealand was originally a fort called HM Fort Roughs, and it was made to defend against German aircraft mines. G- is Germany.

"_A-… he invaded…"_ Canada was invaded by America during the War of 1812.

"_I'm out of your jurisdiction! I'm seven miles off! G- knows I'm a-"_ In 1967, British workmen 'invaded' Sealand's turf, so the Prince fired a shot from the cannon to scare them off. Britain tried to bring him to court for violation of firearms, but Sealand was out of British bounds. Sealand was invaded 1978 by the so-called Prime Minister of Sealand, who had German and Dutch mercenaries as his army. It turns out that he was a Germany lawyer with a Sealand passport, and it turned out that the U.K. could not be pressed for his release because Sealand was out of its territorial waters. Sealand alleged that Germany had acknowledged that it was a country of its own.

"_E-… Thank you. You'll always be welcome here in C-…"_ Unlike America and other colonies in North America (not sure about South America), Canada did not have a revolution. Instead, it was released in 1982. I figured that the relationship between Canada and England would be less strained.


	18. Chapter 18

For some strange reason, italics don't work when I upload. I put them on when I write, they're there when I put it on the Document Manager, but when it's posted the italics are gone. This is a _**test**_, **Bold** _Italics_ Underline. If I lose the italics again, all italics will be replaced with bold text. It's not my fault.

Note- Someone I knew said that Germany was speaking in a Russian accent. I'm sorry if he does, I have no experience with foreign accents. Japan's accent will be altered (again) since that same person said that it was like Mr. Yunioshi from Breakfast at Tiffany's. Now his accent will only have the 'no th- sound' part, and altered proper nouns. The R/L part has a problem, since it could swing either way, so it is ignored. As for everyone else, you'll have to imagine their voices. China does not have aru- at the end, since I can never remember and I think that that's pushing it.

The reason that I haven't updated is because the power was out. In compensation, here's a thrice-as-long chapter!

Sorry if America is OOC, but if he was always arrogant without England to push him in line, then the plot couldn't move along.

Chapter 18 (Robin POV)

After Feliciano and Lovino were arrested, we held a meeting on the Thousand Sunny. We came in thinking that the fights between Zoro and Sanji were bad. But compared to those two, they were practically best friends.

"Okay, so-" Alfred began, but Germany cut him off.

"Alfred. Zis is un emergency. Ve must not vaste any more time here, got zat!" He yelled the ending.

"Chill out bro, I was just saying that we might not have to rescue them at all!" Alfred said. I was disgusted by how cheerful he was.

Germany took it worse than I had. "You mean to say… you are going to abandon zem?"

"Da, it is just like you to do so, Capitalist-" said Ivan.

"You think you can stand another-" Alfred began right after Ivan paused.

"停止! Stop! You two are acting like children!" Yao yelled. "Feliciano and Lovino have been taken captive! We cannot afford to bicker amongst ourselves!" I like him now.

"Oh, okay then. But this isn't over!" Alfred glared at Ivan, and Ivan gave one of his threatening smiles back.

"Non, eet has been over for years," Francis tried to ease the tension. But what did he mean by that?

"But why would you abandon your own nakama?" Luffy yelled.

"I-I thought that they'd release them soon. I mean, they didn't do anything wrong, right? We could go over there and ask, couldn't we?" Alfred said almost sheepishly.

All of us looked at him. "You know, that might be a good idea," said Zoro. "No one on this island has done any of us harm,"

"What about arresting R-" Spain began, but Francis clapped his hand to his mouth again. Even with part of his face covered, I could see his bloodthirsty eyes, so unlike his cheery disposition. _Oh yeah_, I thought. _He was like this when he attacked Cap'n. Canada told us about his protective instinct_. Had we been standing, I would have taken a step back, but we were sitting.

Nami stood up. "Wait. Let's make this clear. We all want both of them out of jail, right?" Everyone nodded. "Antonio, you want to punish the police force for arresting Lovino, right?" He nodded. "But who wants to make amends?" No one answered. "Anyone?"

At length, Germany spoke up. "How about zis? Ve go to ze prison und see eif zey are okay. Ve also ask vhen zey are going to be let out, eif zey are let out today or tomorrow, zen ve vait until zen. Eif not, or eif zey are being mistreated, ve vill break zem out,"

There was a long pause. "Well, I think that's a good plan," said Alfred. "What do you think, Kiku?"

"M-mokusatsu, [1]" he said nervously.

"What was that?" Alfred asked, his tome airy but threatening.

"S-sorry, it means 'I am still thinking about it', not 'I am ignoring you in contempt,'" he said hurriedly.

"Oh~ now I get what you meant back then!" Back then? "Listen, now I'm really sorry about Hiroshi-"

Ivan whipped out his pipe faster than I could see. Alfred saw it, and clammed up. "And that is why I do not trust capitalists." He turned to the rest of us. "Become one with-"

"Shut up!" To my surprise, it was Spain who said that, not Germany. "Ludwig and I will go." He got up to leave.

"Wait," Kiku got up, too. "Sey are also my responsibility. Remember se promise sat we made, Ludwig?"

He nodded. "Ze one zat ve made togezer? How could I forget? Eit was at my house, after all. Wenn einer von uns ist in Schwierigkeiten, " he began.

"その後、我々は、どんなにか彼を保存されません。" Kiku finished. "If one of us is in danger, then we will save him no matter what [2]."

Spain didn't argue. Without another word, the three of them walked out.

"So… let's go look for Iggy and Mattie!" Alfred said as the door behind them shut.

"Non, Arthur and Matheiu will come back when zey are ready," Francis said.

"Ma-si-yu? 馬，四，魚 [3]? " Yao asked. "Who is he?"

"Wasn't he with you?" I asked.

There was another awkward pause. "Oh yeah, you never seem to notice Mattie! He's my identical twin brother!"

"Da, I used to live next to him," said Ivan. "I kolled him when his polar bear was gnawing on my head,"

"A polar bear? Dude, Mattie told me about that! He said that it was the first time anyone besides me, Iggy, or Francis actually talked to him!"

"Oh, really? Then maybe he'll become one with-"

"If you do that, I'll kill you, you- you- COMMUNIST!" Alfred spat those last words out with contempt. "And I'm sure that he'll do the same!"

"I do not think so. After all, he was the last to leave wasn't he? The good child, who stayed with Arthur until the end? Unlike you, who was the first to abandon him."

That hit a nerve. Alfred picked up his fists and-

"STOP!" Yao yelled, and both of them backed down. "We should not be fighting amongst ourselves. Now who wants snacks?" he lifted up a bag marked with artistic symbols. (A/N Chinese characters).

When I saw that Alfred and Ivan weren't going to stop, I intervened. "How about if Cap'n and the others don't come back in an hour, we go look for them?" It was a poor excuse, but I trusted that Alfred would forget about Ivan in the confusion.

Yao nodded. "I will do rice… I mean, cook food," I didn't get how he could make a mistake about that, but I guess that it was a language thing. Language… Wait a second…

"Why aren't you worried about your friends?" asked Chopper. "And why didn't you go with them?"

I looked at them. Alfred and Ivan kept a wary eye on one another, as if daring one another to attack [4]. Yao kept his distance from the two, and Francis spoke. "Ludwig and Kiku hav been friends with Feliciano for years now, and Antonio haz known Lovino seence zey were children."

"You also are afraid of Ludwig, and Lovino is afraid of you." Yao said. "It would not be wise to send you after them,"

"Really? Why are you afraid of your nakama?" asked Luffy.

Neither Yao nor Francis graced us with a reply.

"So… are we done yet?" asked Alfred, thankfully forgetting about Ivan for the time being.

"Are we?" Yao asked Luffy. He nodded. I couldn't tell if he had been paying attention or not throughout the meeting, but I trust him. We went to the square, where we were planning on going back to the dock-ship.

"Yao?" I asked. I was scared of Ivan, Alfred would probably forget, and Francis would most likely try to seduce me, which left Yao. "What's the name of the dock-ship where we met?"

"It called Si-yi-lan-de. I mean, it is called Si-yi-lan-de," he caught himself. Si-yi-lan-de… where did I hear that before? (Note- Si in Chinese is not pronounced 'see' like in Spanish, but more like 'sih'. That is why 'yi', which is pronounced 'e', is there.)

"Thank you." I ran after Nami. "Have we ever heard the name 'Si-yi-lan-de' before?"

She gave a thoughtful look. "I think we have. But where?"

"Okay, so we're looking for Iggy, Mattie, and Peter," Alfred began. "I don't know you guys, but I have a plan for everyone else. Francis, you go look in the plaza, keep an eye out for Mattie. Yao, you look in the forest, and go see where everyone is. Ivan… er, I guess you won't listen to me anyway, but I'll look in the south end of town,"

"Oh? In that case, I will go to the north end," said Ivan.

"Luffy? What about us?" asked Zoro.

"We all go off in opposite directions! We're bound to find them eventually!" he said cheerfully. Not a bad plan, admittedly.

"Er… do you mind if I go with you?" Chopper asked Luffy.

"Okay, why?"

"I'm still worried about your injury! I mean, anything can set it off!" As if to prove his point, Luffy sneezed, and the bandages began to turn red. "See what I mean?"

"Oh yeah, someone's got to stay behind, if they come back while we're gone," Sanji said rationally. "I nominate Zoro!"

"Are you implying something?" Zoro raised an eyebrow. Anything could spark an argument between those two.

"You can't find your way out of a paper bag," Sanji said bluntly.

"But at least I can find a path for my sword, can't I?"

"Okay, we'll meet back at the inn at six sharp!" Alfred said, and then ran off, presumably to the south. He paused. "If any of you find them before then, come and look for the rest of us!"

We dispersed into different directions, them going into their designated areas, and we wandering off with no destination in sight. It was long, tiring, and would have been boring if it weren't for the shops that I saw. I didn't think that I should go into most of them, since I could see everyone in there without going in, but I thought of visiting later, when we had time.

The only shops that I went into were tea shops, where they sold china teapots, shiny silver kettles, freshly pasteurized cream, boxes of cubed sugar, and aromatic tea. If anyone was a big drinker of that stuff, it was Cap'n.

"You like tea, missy?" the clerk asked.

"No, but I have a friend who does." That reminded me… "Can I get a box of Earl Gray?" I wasn't sure if they had tea on Si-yi-lan-de, but there was no harm in getting more.

"Sure thing. That'll be 800 berries," I paid and left, proceeding to the next shop. It turned out to sell it at a cheaper price, but luckily, the one I got was the kind he liked. That's the sort of thing you picked up, being a cabin girl on his ship.

At last six bells rung, signaling the end of the search. Still no sign of any of them. I set off towards the inn, carrying the crate that I bought. Near the market, I met Yao and Sanji.

"Robin! What do you want for dinner?" Sanji asked loudly.

"We are shopping for when we leave, not for dinner," Yao scolded. "But I would like to know how you cook. You want to exchange?"

They kept at it until Yao remembered that we had to go to the inn. "Did you find them?"Sanji asked as we walked. They had bought enough food for at least a month, even with Luffy on board.

We shook our heads. After that, we didn't have much to talk about, so I amused myself by watching the birds circle around. Yao seemed to be uncomfortable around the crate of tea, but I didn't think much of it.

We arrived at the inn, before long. Nami greeted us at the stairs. "Come on, we've been waiting! Everyone's upstairs!"

He ran upstairs, leaving us to follow. We all piled into the room that the rest of the crew slept in, thankful that it was large enough for all of us to fit.

"Oi! Robin! Did any of you-" Luffy called.

We shook our heads. "I even checked the tea shops. He loves those,"

"I know, right?" Alfred said perkily. "Seriously, I remember the time I dumped his tea off of Boston Harbor! He was so mad-"

Unexpectedly, he became serious. "I don't regret it." He turned to Francis. "Thanks for helping me out, back then." I don't think that he was talking about tea [5].

"You… threw out his tea?" I asked disbelievingly. I can imagine what he must have been like then. One of Cap'ns many faults was his temper, and once he had beaten up an entire interisland gang because one of their newest members stole his tea. Not his treasure, not his ship, his tea. And he had once said that after his crew, what was most important was his tea. And after that… well, I don't think that Cap'n would even let his younger brother off with throwing his tea away on purpose. "What did he do?"

"We… had a huge fight, and… I ran away."

So that's what caused the fight between Alfred and Cap'n. "But why did you do that?"

Alfred was silent. I couldn't help but think that it was the first time I ever saw him speechless.

"Hold on a second, you threw out your brother's tea?" Ussop asked.

"Man, he must like that stuff," Luffy mused.

_Creak. _The door inched open, and we all spun around, ready to strike. Suddenly, the door swung wide, revealing a disheveled Peter, his hand still on the doorknob. A pair of arms on either side caught him before he hit the floor.

"Peter!" Nami ran up to him, followed by Alfred. "Are you all right?"

"I… we… t-tried to-" Peter stuttered.

"Taci! Talking will only make it worse!" said the person who was holding Peter's left arm. As they came into the room and laid Peter into one of the beds, I saw that it was Feliciano and Lovino. Lovino was the one who held his left arm.

"We can tell them, you can rest," Feliciano said. He wasn't his usual bouncy self now, he seemed like he was on the verge of tears.

Chopper got out a medical kit and began to examine him. "He's been shot! What happened?"

Feliciano stared at the floor, unwilling to face us, and Lovino grabbed a pillow and sulked. "Maledizione. Damn it all. Tomato jerk, Tea jerk, Syrup jerk, Potato jerk, and Sailor jerk came to help us and… (He yelled the strongest swears anyone could think of, some of which were in a language that I didn't understand)." Lovino said as he hugged the pillow tighter. "We're useless. We always were, we always had someone to protect us. First it was Grandpa, then it was-" he cut himself off short. "Maledizione! We couldn't help them! Maledizione. Maledizione. Maledizione!" With every word, he hit himself with a rusty sword that he had carried with him.

"Stop it!" Sanji pulled the sword away from him. "Hurting yourself will get you nowhere. Would they have wanted you to do this to yourself?"

Lovino shook his head, and then hung it. "This… this is how much Antonio is suffering right now. For so long…"

Wait a second… "Didn't he collapse when he fought Ussop?" I asked.

"You mean that it wasn't my Tabasco sauce?" he yelled, but no one was listening to him.

Feliciano shook his head. "Ve… He's been like this for years. He isn't delicate, like us, but he's weakened since then…"

Since when, I wanted to ask, but Lovino said something that caught my attention. "And this is how I repay my debt?"

DONE!

[1] Mokatsu- there was a great mistranslation between America and Japan during WWII. America asked Japan to surrender, and the Premier said "Mokatsu," which can mean either 'we are ignoring you in contempt,' or 'we are still thinking about it'. The translator took it to mean the former, and Hiroshima was nuked ten days later.

[2] The promise between Germany, Japan, and Italy- The Tripatite Pact. It was a pact between the three of them to help each other if they were attacked, in a nutshell. It was signed in Berlin. **Japan's sentence was translated horribly, don't pay any attention!**

[3] Mathew, Ma-si-yu, 馬，四，魚. China cannot pronounce the name Mathew, so he came up with three Chinese syllables that are close. They are 'horse', 'four, and 'fish', respectively.

Si-Yi-Lan-De is Sealand, Let's just say that it got transported there. The citizens were all off on vacation in Sweden, and are not there at the time. I'll bend time a little, so Sealand was adopted by Sweden and Finland sometime before 1994, just for the sake of the plot.

[4] Russia and America staring down one another- a reference to the Cold War, which was carried out with no actual fighting, but with threats, war in other countries, and the Space Race (somehow). But the important thing is that if one of them attacked, then the other would strike back with nukes, which both of them had. And since neither of them wanted a nuclear war, it was a standstill until the Soviet Union surrendered (I think).

[5] The tea- Boston Tea Party. One of the causes of the American Revolution, in which a band of the Sons of Liberty, a rebel/patriot group, dressed up as Native Americans and boarded a ship carrying tea to sack it and destroy the tea/ throw it overboard. This may seem like a pointless act of aggression, but tea was a taxed item, and there was a British monopoly on it. So Americans stopped drinking tea. And that is why we have coffee as our staple hot drink.

America thanked France because they were allies after Saratoga, and it was thanks to French fleets that the last battle- Yorktown- was won.

I assume that there is tea in the One Piece universe, and there is such a thing as Earl Gray there. China is uncomfortable because that tea reminds him of British domination.

The sword that Romano hits himself with is the rusty sword that he gave to Spain, that Spain drooled over.


	19. Chapter 19

I forgot something that is semi-important- Clothing. The characters who are normal wear their military uniform, while the shrunken ones wear a smaller version of their military uniforms. However, Germany is the exception to this rule, because he's only physically five, and I don't want a five-year-old wearing a uniform. The rest of them, even if they look only a little older, are okay, since America, Romano, Russia, and Japan's can be seen as casual clothing, an explorer's outfit if you take out the tie, an overcoat, and a boy's school uniform, respectively. Germany's uniforms are clearly military. Now, he wears civilian attire in towns, cities, and anywhere where it would be suspicious to wear a uniform (such as a Marine base), and his uniform everywhere else.

Did you know that the character for England (ying, pronounced –ing, as in running) (英) is similar to the character for tea (cha, as in cha-cha) (茶)? I don't think that that was intentional, though. 英can also mean brave, flower, hero, and even more when spoken. It only means England when it is paired with 國 (guo, not sure how to put it into writing). But you're not listening, are you?

I'm sorry; I just realized a continuity error. The policeman claimed to find the Italy brothers in a crate of tomatoes, but then Veneciano said that they were caught at the pizza stand. I'll try to make things up.

Chapter 19 (John POV)

This was not my day… why did I even bother getting up in the morning? There were never any arrests in this sleepy island. Sometimes I wondered why we had a police force. Our wages come right out of tax money; why waste it? But that's why my boss, Mr. Cid, had made all the rules that the town put down laws, and now any infraction was punishable by a week in jail. He also gave us the right to shoot if necessary, which the town council passed without a fuss. Not like anyone would be affected by that. I mean, there's no reason to use any weapons here, right?

Little did I know how wrong I was. Especially here, where this guy with an axe is… well, let's start at the beginning.

It was a bright, sunny day, and I was posted in the market with Mr. Cid. Nothing much to see, except for a large group of new travelers. I watched as one of them, a girl with short brown hair and a curl on the left side of her hair bounded happily toward the pasta stall. She was exactly my type… "Pretty, isn't she?" I asked Mr. Cid.

"I have a wife," he replied. No sense of humor, that one. Oh well, no competition from him, then.

The pretty girl got into an argument with the stall owner, apparently because his food sucked. Eventually, the owner told her to go make her own, to which she happily obliged. She ran off, and ran back just as quickly, now wearing a maid outfit.

"Ugh, John, look at her," Mr. Cid said. "She's wearing indecent clothing right in the middle of the street."

A little boy who looked a lot like the pretty girl's brother yelled something at her with an expression of pure horror, and she flounced around a bit.

"Even that boy thinks that she should change," Mr. Cid said.

The brother jumped onto a stack of crates and began to strangle her, while yelling something in a foreign language. She responded by saying something indistinct, and then got out a white flag and yelled something in more languages than I thought existed.

"Right, now we go in." Mr. Cid stepped in. "Excuse me?" he tapped the girl on the shoulder."What exactly are you doing? It is forbidden to wear such an outfit in public, and-"

She wasn't paying attention. But then again, she _was_ being suffocated by her own brother.

"Pay attention to me young lady-"

"But I'm not a girl!" She, or rather, he, yelled.

… I think my brain just ruptured. How can that not be a girl? I barely had time to notice the little boy throw something at Mr. Cid, and that the girl-boy had grabbed his/her brother and had run off. From the blood dripping from Mr. Cid's face, it looked like the brat had thrown something hard at him.

"Stop! Men are not allowed to wear women's clothes!" Or not. It looked like he threw a tomato at him, judging by the smell and the stalk. "John! Go get them!"

"Eh? Alright," jolted back into the real world, I chased after them. He sprinted towards the forest, still in a dress. Should be easy, then… HOW THE (afterlife) DOES HE RUN THAT FAST? IN A MAID OUTFIT, NO LESS!

"John! You go with Mary to the forest; I'm going back to base to pick everyone up!"

"Yes sir…" I said unenthusiastically. Mary was not my type at all…

Later, in the forest…

"You lost to a crossdresser? Ha!" Mary mocked mercilessly.

"Come on, Mary, he ran as fast as a horse," I knew that nothing I said would convince Mary otherwise, but I had to try.

"Yeah right, you're just making excuses. Come on, now _I_ have to fix your pathetic mistake," Easy for you to say, Miss mile-in-three-and-a-half-minutes. You were born with some super-athletic gene."You're coming with me, and that's final."

Not like I could argue, Mr. Cid paired me up with you, and I can't say no to him. "Yes ma'am,"

"And don't call me ma'am! It makes me sound old!"

"Yes, Lassie," I said dully. "Hey, is that the latest shipping? They might be there,"

"No, I tell you where to go, not you. Now go search the left side, I'll take the right."

I obeyed without a word. No one wearing a dress here, everyone was hauling the latest shipments to and from town. Anyone wearing a dress in this place would be daft.

"Shh, _fratello_," I heard a muffled voice say. I spun around, and saw- a crate of tomatoes.

I took a step towards it. "H-hey! Don't come near me!"

"Stai zitto! He'll hear us!"

I took another step. "I'm a tomato box fairy! Just let me stay here in my box! Ve~!"

Seriously? That's the worst lie I've ever heard. I pried open the box.

"Ve~ I'm not actually a tomato box fairy!" The boy/girl popped out of the box, still wearing the maid outfit, covered in tomato juice. "Mi arrendo! Ego deditionem! Je me rend! Me rindo! I surrender!" He yelled, waving a white flag like before.

"Vite di Te, non mi si incastri con voi! [1]" his brother- or sister, looking back at him/her- jumped out of the crate, and ran off towards the cargo lane.

"What are you waiting for? Get him!" Mary yelled. When I did not immediately run off, she grunted and said, "Do I have to do everything myself?" and sprinted towards him/her.

"CHIGI!" he/she looked backwards, and ran faster. Good luck catching him/her, a scared animal is always quicker.

"Ve~~~~~" I spun around, and saw the boy/girl running away, faster than before. I raced after him/her, cursing my laziness during running training. _There's no way I can catch her_, I thought as s/he was out of sight. _But I'll try, and then Mr. Cid can't complain. But where is she?_

"Ve, how much for this pizza?"

…This was too easy.

"CHIGI! In case you haven't noticed, we're being chased by the police!" the kid yelled, presumably jostling his sibling like mad. "And this is worse than that pasta!"

"Hey! Get them!" Mary even bossed the local shopkeepers around. "Rgh, alright, I'll do it!" she grabbed the kid, and I tackled the guy/girl from the behind.

"私は降伏!" s/he yelled. (A/N Japanese for 'I surrender')

"Er," I said, still not believing that the person right in front of me was a guy, "I'm here to-"

"Poddaję!" s/he yelled, waving his/her white flag. (A/N Polish)

"Arrest you," I finished. "Um, this may be a rude question, but…"

S/he had a look of pure terror in her/his face.

"Are you really a guy?" I asked awkwardly.

He stared at me a moment. "Sì! I can take my shirt off if you'd like,"

"… Come with me," I handcuffed him- just for the thrill, there was no point in doing it- and dragged him off toward the prison, with Mary following with the kid.

"How did this happen?" the older brother complained when I locked them in. Mary had gone ahead to tell Mr. Cid. "All I wanted was a plate of pasta~,"

"Shut up! This was all your fault anyway!" s/he yelled before strangling his/her brother again. "_Fratello_, you're the one who wore that _thing_! Why would you even think of doing that?"

"Shut up, you're giving me a headache," I said. I was disappointed that she turned out to be a guy, and I wasn't going to let them have their way.

The kid screamed. "I'm sorry, Mr. Jailer sir!" s/he groveled at my feet like a pro. "I'll do whatever you say, just don't make us eat that horrible food!"

"Please! We're begging you!" the older one was on his hands and knees.

"…I can't put up with this. I don't care what Mary says, I'm not sticking around," I said.

"Yes sir…" they said feebly.

"I'm telling Mr. Cid, can you watch them?" I asked Mary just before she left.

"Fine. You know, that kid was easy to catch once he found out that I was a woman,"

"What?" first we had a transvestite, and now we have a kid with a crush on her?

"Uh-huh. I guess that it's just my universal attraction, then,"

"Yeah right! You're not even that pretty, you wear too much makeup!" the kid yelled. Isn't he a bit young to make comments like that?

"Shut up, you little brat!" she yelled, and they shrunk back. "I swear, kids these days,"

"…Bye," I trotted off to the forest, where I knew Mr. Cid was.

When I found him and the others, he was talking to the bookkeeper's replacement [2], a guy with glasses about my age, and a kid who looked like a sailor wannabe. "Sir? We've found them; they were hiding in a crate of tomatoes. I don't know where all the tomatoes are, though,"

"But where are they now?" asked the sailor wannabe sweetly.

…This kid was suspicious. "In the town underground prison, of course!" I said, trying to play along.

"All right, let's go men!" ordered Mr. Cid. I started to follow with the rest of them, but a sudden thought struck me, and I ducked behind a tree.

"The underground prison, that's what he said, right?" asked the bookkeeper's replacement.

"Do you have a plan?" the glasses guy whispered, I had to strain my ears to hear.

"Why are you asking me?" the replacement- Arthur, I remembered- said.

"Because you're the one that used to boss the both of us around!" the sailor kid said. "You organized everything, even the battles that you put us through! You're the reason Alfred attacked Mathew, and you stuck me where I could watch your back, without your protection!"

That seemed to have an effect on him. He fell to the ground, clutching his head. The other two knelt down beside him, worried. At last, he stood up, more clear-headed than before. "Sealand. Canada."

"You finally remember! I thought you were tripping again!" Sailor kid exclaimed.

"JOHN! Get your (posterior) over here right now!" Mr. Cid noticed my absence, and went running back to get me. "You're in trouble now, John!"

Later…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

"Yes?" I opened the door to my apartment. It was Mr. Cid, here to set my disciplinary action.

"Your task tonight is to watch the prisoners that we caught tonight. Mary told me that you couldn't handle it, so," he said with a smirk, "Your job is to watch them all night. All. Night. Long."

"Yessir," I said dismally_. Oh well_, I told myself. _It's not that bad. It could be worse._

I went on the old forest path that went to the prison, humming as I walked. I thought I heard a clanking sound in the distance, but I didn't think much of it. That is, until I opened the door to the prison.

Which brings me back to the present. Three guys and two kids had broken in before I got in. I recognized Arthur and the glasses guy, but the other three were complete strangers. The last adult was a guy with brown hair and a rather large axe, which I couldn't help but notice that it.

Was.

Heading.

Straight.

For.

Me.

I jumped to one side, narrowly avoiding the heavy blade. Arthur had fainted again, but I was more worried about my life. Now my back was to the cell that held the prisoners. There was nowhere to run.

"Antoniyo-san, you did not have to go sat far," one of the kids, a boy with black hair and a katana said quietly and formally.

"Ja, he vas only doing hiz job," the last one- a blonde kid in what looked like an old-fashioned military uniform said, way to serious for his age.

"Doesn't matter," the brown haired guy said as he lifted his axe from the site of impact. His field-green eyes glinted sadistically when I realized that when I dodged, he overshot and demolished the iron bars of the cell behind me. "Él sufrirá- [2]"

BLAM! In the confusion, I remembered the standard-issue pistol that Mr. Cid gave all of us, and fired. It missed.

"Agh!" someone from outside was hit! I peeked out from behind the axe guy, and saw the sailor kid from before, bleeding from the leg. A sniper rifle was placed next to him, presumably loaded. Oh man, just how well-funded are these people!

I felt something grab hold of my underarms, and someone yell, "We've got him!" I couldn't move!

"Good job, Ita-chan!" It was those two again!

"I'm not letting you go!" that little kid was the one pulling me! These people were definitely not normal!

"Ve~ you can still move your arms and legs like this!" Like that was any help!

Brown Hair raised his axe like an executioner and-

"Odio a las recesiones, siempre en mi camino [3]!" he whispered angrily. The man had collapsed, panting and sweating like he was in a desert.

I took that chance, and ran.

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Romano just before running off on his own- screw this, I'm not getting caught with you!

[2] Spain right before John shoots; when he's acting sadistic- He'll suffer-

[3] Spain before collapsing- I hate recessions; they always get in my way!

I didn't want to stop there, but I realized that I already fulfilled my quota, and that it would be too long otherwise.

The reason that John called Iggy 'the bookkeeper's replacement' is because I wanted to bridge an earlier plot point, when Nami and Robin met Iggy when he was selling books.

Tomatoes vs. Pizza- Look, John said that they found Veneciano and Romano in a crate of tomatoes, which is a true statement. They just didn't get caught in it. They said that they were caught by the pizza stand, which they were. That's how I fixed it!

How did Veneciano and Lovino get out? Why were the others in prison? What about Sealand? And when will Mary be put in her place? Find out in the next chapter of Arthur Kirkland, United Kingdom, Pirate!


	20. Chapter 20

Wow, twenty chapters already! I didn't think that this fic would go on that long! *Gives a toast with my boots* Heta-li-a!

Time frame- Remember, it's a big island. So that's why this takes place at night, when the fight was at about two o'clock. The forest, where Iggy, Canada, and Sealand are is located between the prison and the dock, so the others had to walk there and back, taking more time.

Chapter 20 (John POV)

Okay, I admit it. I was crying. Mary would have laughed in my face, but I didn't care. Those people were scaring me! And he tried to kill me! I ran so fast that I couldn't see where I was going.

"Hey, what's the matter, John? Back so soon?" Mary mocked. I was at the station already? "You can't handle a pair of kids? You're pathetic."

"It's not that! There'rethesepeopleattheprison, and-" I had to catch my breath. I'd never run so hard in my life.

Mary sighed. "What new excuse have you cooked up this time?"

"Some people broke in!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

For once, she was speechless. "Oh. In that case, you go home. I'll go beat them up myself!"

I sighed. Typical Mary.

"Or at least, that's what I would normally say." Eh? "John, I know you. Yes, you're a wimp, and you're a coward, but…"

She's going to say it; she's going to say it!

GONG, GONG, GONG, GONG, GONG, GONG, GONG, GONG, GONG! It's nine fifteen right now.

"…the jail's two miles off. Cid told us that your shift is the nine o'clock shift, right?"

I nodded, disillusioned. I thought that she'd say that I was brave or something.

"It's nine-fifteen right now. If you had gotten in at exactly nine, then you'd have to run two miles in fifteen minutes. Now while that is possible (I can do it in less), you can't do it."

I was confused. "But… I did, didn't I? If I couldn't do it, then why am I standing here?"

"Have you ever heard of survival instinct? It's also known as fear, fight or flight instinct, lizard brain, Italian retreating miracle-"

"Italian retreating miracle [1]?" I repeated.

"Yes, Italian retreating miracle. Now the point is, you'd only run that fast if you were afraid. And if you're afraid, then something bad happened. Now I'm going over there, and you can go get the rest of the force."

"B-but… one of them has an axe! And I saw a kid with a sniper rifle!" There's no way that she could do it on her own!

"That's why you're gonna run and tell everyone to help! You think that a girl like me can do it all on her own?"

"… Yes, lassie. But why me?"

"You just ran two miles in fifteen minutes. You think that I'm going to let that talent slide?"

"B-but that's only when I'm scared!"

"Oh look, there's a guy with an axe coming up the road!"

I scampered.

**Later, outside the prison, after several tedious and virtually fruitless searches… **

"You're saying that Mary went in first, partner?" Adam asked.

I nodded. "I'm worried about her…"

Sam laughed. "Don't worry; she'll probably be right there, grinning. She'd already be waiting for us in there!"

"Enough chatter, let's go, men!" ("It's only the four of us," I muttered.) Mr. Cid unlocked the door. "Mary! Are you alright in there!"

Mary lay on Arthur at the threshold, unconscious. The lock of the last cell was broken.

"Geh…mi economía… [2]" the axe guy was still lying on the ground in pain. It was hard for me not to feel sorry for him, even if he tried to kill me.

"Spain! Hang in there!" the crossdresser's brother lay at his side, shaking him.

"Ve~ Germany!" The crossdresser himself was hugging the blonde kid affectionately. "Ve~" he also hugged the black-haired kid.

"Um, guys?" the glasses guy whispered. "The police are here, aren't you going to do something?"

"I c-can't…" said the axe guy- Spain. "The economy is…"

"H-hey!" I somehow managed to shout. "W-w-wha-t-t d-d-d-did you d-d-do with Mary?"

The black-haired kid was the first to react. He charged at us, sheathed katana in hand.

"Ve~ I'll help!" The crossdresser threw a small, red metal object at us. It landed right between us.

"Gyah! It's a Red Devil!" The glasses guy dragged Spain over to one side.

"Hyah!" Katana-kid brought down his still-sheathed katana on Sam's head, knocking him out.

"Th- this is for M-" Adam whipped out his gun-

BLAM! Adam fell to the ground, groaning in pain. He was shot from behind! I looked for the source, and saw a glimmer of light. It was the sailor kid with the sniper rifle!

"Even if you're a kid, you'll pay for that!" I got out my own loaded revolver, and fired all six shots randomly. A mix of hot guilt and grim satisfaction filled my body as he collapsed. _Why did I just do that?_ I thought. _He's only a kid, and I just killed him! _

"Sealand!" the glasses guy tried to run to his side, but Mr. Cid hit him on the back of his neck. He crumpled easily.

"Ugh…" (Schist)! Spain got back up!

"Spain! You're awake!" The crossdresser's brother stopped shaking him.

The blonde kid- Germany- looked at the ground between us, and shouted "Ve haf to get out of here! Ve haf already fulfilled our objective!"

"Ve~, yes sir!" the crossdresser and his brother/sister bolted from the room. The ones left began to run.

"H-hey, you can't just-"

BOOM! The red metal thing that the crossdresser threw exploded just as they passed over it. The black haired kid was knocked forward by the blast and hit his head, Spain was thrown backwards and slammed into the bars of the cell behind him (ouch), and Germany, who was right above the bomb, was hurled upwards and crashed into the ceiling. The glasses guy was still unconscious at our feet. Thankfully, Mary and Arthur were untouched, and so were we.

"Um, Mr. Cid?" I asked, surprised at the unexpected turn of events. "What should we do?"

"We put them in the slammer," he said plainly. Well, you couldn't say that Mr. Cid wasn't efficient. "And you're going to watch them until ten o'clock tomorrow. I'll take care of Mary, Sam, and Adam, so don't worry,"

"Yes sir…" I said feebly. _Oh well_, I thought as I locked them in the last untouched cell. _At least I can get some sleep. After all, they're unconscious, aren't they?_

I was wrong. In the end, they had to wake up sometime.

LINEBREAK

"Konichiwa," Eh? Did someone say something? "H-hello,"

I sat upright. Still in the prison, still on guard duty. "Okay, who's there?" I glanced at the cell, and saw the black-haired kid sitting upright.

"H-hello, jailer-san. We did not introduce ourselves last night. I am Kiku Honda"

"Um… why are you telling me this?" I asked. For all I knew, he was distracting me while the others dug their way out.

"Because we injured your friends last night. The woman's name is Mary, correct?"

I nodded. "What did you do to her?"

"Masiyu-san hit her on the head with a hockey stick," he said, "Do not worry, he made sure not to hit her… vital regions. I mean, regions that cause lasting harm," he said before I could make a disgusted face. "I sink zat Peter tried to avoid your comrade's organs, and your other friend should be alright,"

"Ugh…" Oh, (poop), Spain just woke up! He's gonna kill me! "Buenos días!"

…"EH?"

"Zis is Antonio," Kiku introduced. "He said 'good morning' in his language."

Wait a second…"D-didn't that kid call him Spain last night?"

Kiku was taken aback. "Um… it is a nickname," he said quickly. I didn't believe him.

"Hola!" Antonio said, more cheerful than I thought he would be after being arrested. In fact, he seemed almost… normal. "It's a nice day outside!"

"…" That from the guy who tried to kill me with an axe last night?

"Zis is normal for him," Kiku said as if reading my mind. "He is usually like sis, he was angry last night because you arrested Lovino-san,"

"Lovino? Was he the crossedresser or his brother?"

"His brother. But he also used to wear a dress when he was a child,"

"Rgh," Germany sat up with difficulty. Then again, his back was hurt. "Vhy are ve here?"

"That's what I should be asking you!" I yelled. "You broke in last night, trashed the whole place with a bomb and an axe, and you can't even remember that?"

"Ja, ja, I remember now," he said exasperatedly, "Ve vanted to get… Feliciano und Lovino out of here,"

"Huh? Those were their names?" I asked. "I didn't get the chance to ask. Why was he wearing a dress anyway? And how did he get one? I mean, it's not like he could go into a store and-" Oh yeah, I thought that he was a girl even before he put on the maid outfit.

Antonio laughed. "Roderich made him wear a dress when he was growing up. He thought that Feliciano was a girl!"

"Who's Roderich?" It seemed like he was throwing names around just to annoy me.

"He's kind of like Feliciano's adopted father," someone whispered. It was the glasses guy.

"You're… um, you never told me your name," I said.

"I'm Mathew… I was awake before any of you…"

"My name's John, but what do you mean by 'kind of'?" I wanted answers.

"Well… first, he took in Feliciano and Lovino when their grandfather died, but he sent Lovino to Antonio's parents, and he made Feliciano work as a maid," Mathew said quietly.

"A… maid?" that explained the dress, but why a maid? "He's a guy, right?"

"He looked and sounded like a girl until he hit puberty," explained Mathew. "He thought that he was a girl for years,"

"Oh yeah, he told me when he was out getting thread for sewing. He said that he expected something like this to happen, for some reason," Antonio said cheerfully.

Something wasn't right about this… "Hold on, how old is Feliciano, anyway?"

"I sink that he is about twenty. Vhy?"

"Then why did he hit puberty when he was seventeen?" Okay, it was possible. Not probable, but possible.

"He didn't. How did you get that number?" asked Germany.

"You said that Roderich took them both in after their grandfather died, right?"

They nodded. Kiku seemed to get my point, though.

"So Lovino was alive at the time. The point is," I said before any of them could stop me, "Lovino is about five, at the oldest. Let's say that Lovino was just born when their grandfather died. Feliciano would be about fifteen then. But they were sent to Roderich's house, and he thought that Feliciano was a girl. Then he hit puberty a few years later. You expect me to believe that?"

They exchanged uneasy glances. "Um, you see, it's like this," Mathew began, "Lovino was de-aged,"

"How?"

"Magic. I know, it's a long story," he said without really explaining.

"Estás despierto!" Antonio yelled arbitrarily. I looked over his shoulder. Arthur was awake.

"Good, we were worried about you," Kiku said.

"But where the bloody hell are we?" he yelled. His accent was always a bit odd, granted, but it seemed stronger than before.

"Ja, ja, ve got zem out, but now ve…" Germany was embarrassed when he said that. "Vell, take a look."

Understanding filled his eyes. He took in a deep breath, and grabbed the rusty bars. "IS THAT YOU, JOHN? I SWEAR, WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, THE FIRST THING I'M GOING TO DO IS RIP OUT YOUR BALLS, TIE THEM AROUND YOUR NECK AND HANG YOU FROM THE RAFTERS IN THE INN'S ATTIC, WHERE THEY'LL NEVER FIND YOUR MANGLED BODY, BUT WILL FOREVER SEARCH FOR YOU WITHOUT KNOWING THAT- [3]"

"SHUT UP!" Germany yelled, miraculously silencing him.

"… I… didn't know you were so violent," I said. I'd never seen Arthur so angry; I thought that he was just a normal guy. Yes, we found him collapsed in the middle of the forest, but he'd been more serene then. I thought that he'd just sit apathetically when I locked them in.

"You have no idea…" Antonio said nervously. If he was afraid, then…

I subconsciously edged away.

CRASH! "THE HERO HAS ARRIVED!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Italian retreating miracle- If you do not understand, refer to more episodes of Hetalia

[2] Spain when he is on the ground- 'My economy…"

[3] He's channeling Pirate Iggy here!

Alternate scene- This almost happened, but I just decided on the scene I have now. Instead of Canada saying that Italy hit puberty a few years later, he says that Austria took North Italy in when he was little, and that he also says that South Italy was sent to Spain's parents. John realizes that there's too much of an age difference for that to be possible (Italy is twenty, Romano is five, if it was Italy's childhood, then it would be before Romano was born).

Now, I thought that it would be more in-line with the 'maid' statement if Canada said something about the crossdressing and hitting puberty. Plus, I just liked it better.

How do they get out? What about Sealand? Will John be okay? And when will I remember that they're kids? Find out next chapter!


	21. Chapter 21

My editor said that s/he lost track of what was happening, so here's what happened so far- (My sponsor has also mentioned that the cost of production has exceeded his/her limits so to save money we are now publishing paper free. To further conserve resources, my producer has suggested going ink free as well. My publicity team has suggested that adding characters from Twilight will boost ratings. Changes will be effective in the next cycle.3-editor)

Robin was Iggy's cabin girl about 18 years ago. He vanishes at an island.

The Straw Hats reach the island, find Iggy, and later meet the nations, not knowing that they are nations. Some are turned into children of varying ages because of Iggy. Romano tells the Straw Hats this.

They have a few sparring matches. Nami and Robin take notes on who they are and what their relationship with Iggy is. Canada helps them, but he avoids telling them that they are nations. He makes up relationships and circumstances (ex. Rather than war, legal custody in court). Nami realized that he is lying. Canada promises to tell them when Iggy regains his memory.

Around that time, Italy realizes that Germany might be the Holy Roman Empire.

Italy is caught crossdressing and is arrested along with Romano.

After a meeting, Germany, Spain, and Japan go to rescue them. Iggy, Canada, and Sealand try to rescue them, too, not knowing that the others sent out a rescue mission.

They get caught. Sealand escapes with bullet wounds, and the Italy brothers are unharmed. All the others are arrested.

Sealand and the Italy brothers get to the inn, which is where the current chapter starts.

Nami and Robin know these names- Germany, Spain, Canada, Romano, and Prussia.

Chapter 21 (Nami POV)

"… And that's what happened," Romano concluded. "_Fratello_ and I are unharmed, but Peter…" he trailed off.

"He… is alright? Right?" I asked anxiously.

Chopper extracted a bullet from Peter's chest. "This one didn't hit any organs, but it was pretty deep. So why was he sniping in the first place?" He searched for more with a metal detector.

"Knowing Iggy, he must have wanted to keep Peter out of danger," Alfred said.

"But Peter is reckless, and he most likely wanted to help Arthur," Yao added.

"Arthur vanted to keep him in a position where Peter could help vithout being in danger," Ivan remarked.

"So 'e chose ze middle ground and sent Peter out where 'e would not be 'urt," Francis finished.

"Whoa…" Chopper dropped the metal detector with a clang.

"What is it?" Ussop demanded.

"Th-there's no way… it's impossible…"

"What is?" Robin asked.

"Will he be okay?" I began to shake Chopper.

"I've extracted all the bullets…" Chopper said in shock, "But the detector still has a signal!"

"What? But I made it myself! There's no way it could malfunction on a body!" Ussop picked the metal detector back up and took it apart. "It's a little shook up, but it should be working. Let me try," he moved it over Sanji's body. "It's not beeping, so it works… right?"

"Is he wearing anything underneath his clothing?" I tried to take off his blankets, but Chopper stopped me.

"No!" he said, "We can't take off his clothes! He might get hypothermia!"

"Okay, okay," I backed off. "But do you know why?" I asked the five outsiders. None of them seemed to be in a position to answer. Alfred looked off to one side, Francis took an interest in Peter's eyebrow, Romano simply sulked, Feliciano kept on glancing back and forth, as if looking for instructions, and Yao gave us a 'we can't tell you' look. Ivan looked on with his usual smile.

"Luffy? What should we do?" Zoro asked.

Luffy was silent for a moment. "We get them tomorrow, when Peter's recovered,"

"W-wait," Feliciano interrupted, "Th-they- It wasn't their fault!"

"We saw it happen," Romano said grimly. "Antonio almost killed that guy because of me and _fratello_, so he ran and got help. That woman tried to beat Tomato Jerk, Potato Jerk, Tea Jerk and the rest because Antonio threatened him. Mathew knocked her out because of self-defense. When that guy came back, he and the others fought to avenge her. Peter shot their friend so that we could escape. And he shot Peter because of that! Do you really think that fighting them again will make it any better?" He was much more mature than I realized.

"So what should we do?" Robin asked.

"We fight, but don't (severely) hurt them!" Alfred said.

"Ve~ and we can get Peter and the others to apologize to the people they injured!" Feliciano added.

"Not a bad idea… I'll make some food for them," said Yao. He really was Kiku's brother, even if Kiku denied it. He's more polite than I thought.

"Ve have vodka, da?" Ivan added. Well, if we wanted to put them in a drunken stupor, then that was the stuff.

"Okay, good night!" Alfred, Ivan, Francis, and Yao went to the room that they shared. Romano and Feliciano followed suit, to their own rooms. I couldn't forget what he said earlier… "This is how I repay my debt?" What did he mean?

I told Robin this when we got to our room, but she didn't seem to be listening. Too worried about Arthur, I guessed. Peter was in a pretty bad shape, too… I pulled the covers over, and lay in bed for hours until I fell asleep.

The next day…

A flicker of light shook me from my dream of talking oranges. The rosy glow outside told me that it was past dawn, but I still had time to think some more. If Peter was hurt badly, then what about Arthur and the others? _They should be alright_, I told myself. I saw Spain fight, heck, I fought Germany! And Arthur must be strong, if he was a Yonko. I'm not sure about Kiku and Canada, but Kiku must be good to carry around a sword without swaggering, and Romano said that Canada knocked someone out with a…something-stick. It started with an 'h'… hooky, hucky… hockey! It was a hockey stick!

I wonder why it's called that. I've never heard of anything called a 'hockey', and why would a stick be named after it?

Robin snored from the opposite bed. _She must be tired, worrying about Arthur_, I thought. _Well, I should let her sleep. I mean, it was a bad day yesterday. _I pulled of my pajama shirt, and put on my regular shirt.

Wait, I'm forgetting something. That debt he was talking about. He owes something to Arthur, Kiku, Germany, or Spain, but he ran away thinking that they were behind him. Come to think of it, Canada told us that Romano used to live with Spain's parents. _That has to be related_, I thought. But then he'd owe Spain's parents, not Spain himself. Then again, Canada told us that he was lying about something, so that might have something to do with it. But we don't know what it is because he won't tell us until Arthur regains his memory! Agh, this is getting so annoying!

"Nami? Are you awake?" Robin woke up without me noticing.

"Yeah," I replied. "I was thinking about the debt that Romano mentioned. It probably has something to do with Arthur, Spain, Germany, Canada, or Kiku,"

"It's a little early to talk, isn't it?" Robin replied, nonplussed.

"I know… we can wait-"

"No, it's all right. But anyway, Romano might owe Peter for something as well," Robin said, still not giving up on the idea that he might be an assassin.

"His name starts with Sealan, doesn't it?" I said, trying to change the subject. "That 'lan' part sounds like we've heard it before… wasn't the ship's name 'Si-yi-lan-de?"

"They sound the same, don't they?" Robin mused. "And why did Germany want to hide Peter's name?"

"He said that it gave too much away. Speaking of names… How important are they to them? Canada told us his without arguing, but he said that he couldn't tell us anyone else's. Plus, I don't recognize any of their names so far, except for Peter's,"

"Speaking of Peter, do you think that he has metal in his body?" Robin said. Still on the assassin idea, I see. "He could have been an experiment to see if metal can be infused with bones or something,"

"That could be anything," I dismissed. "We should check on Peter now. He should be better by now,"

Naturally, we had realized that the guys might still be sleeping, so we changed into our street clothes and crept out of the room silently. Every floorboard seemed to creak whenever we stepped, making a walk at six in the morning more troublesome than it would sound.

"Oi, Nami! Peter just woke up!" Luffy shouted. So much for trying to let them sleep.

"Good morning, everyone! It's a lovely day out!" Peter said cheerfully. You could almost forget that he was shot several times yesterday.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Uh-huh!" he nodded. "I got better once Chopper got the bullets out. Thanks!"

"Are you sure that you can move?" asked Chopper frantically. "You lost a lot of blood last night!"

"Don't worry; it's not that bad anymore! The bleeding's stopped!" he unwrapped the bandages, much to the chagrin of Chopper, and his wounds were still red, but no longer wet. To prove his point further, he snatched a piece of paper from the table and held it against the red spot. The paper stayed white. "And I was born with a-"

"Zat is not something zat zey should know," Ivan interrupted. "But little Ravis told me zat you haf a birthmark in ze shape of a radio transmitter. May I see?"

"'Little Ravis'?" Peter said, a hint of amusement in his voice, "He said that he'd be at least ten centimeters taller if you didn't keep pounding on his head every day!"

"Kolkolkol…" Ivan's pipe came out from who knows where, and for the first time, I realized that it had blood on it.

"Um, who's Ravis?" asked Luffy, thankfully preventing Ivan from almost killing Peter- again.

"Oh, you haf never seen him, haf you?" Ivan slid his hand into his pocket, and withdrew a photograph. All of us gathered around to see.

In the picture, six people were gathered in a room. The one in the middle was definitely Ivan as he should look if he wasn't de-aged; very tall, very big, and serene. He wore a trenchcoat that looked like it was just a bigger version of what he was wearing right now. It shrunk when he was de-aged, I guessed. Two women flanked his side. One was a girl about my age, wearing a dress, with long brown hair and… was that a knife in her hand? The other was a more mature woman, with short silver hair clad in farmer's clothing. She had a really big pair of… she looked like Ivan's sister. The other three were male, and not as happy as Ivan. The one who looked like he was oldest wore a green uniform, and despite his shoulder-length hair, was definitely a guy. The second oldest, a blonde guy about Zoro's age had a pair of glasses, and wore a uniform like the other guy's except gray instead of green. The last, a kid that looked about Peter's age, had a red uniform that reminded me a security guard… or a figure skater [1]. What is a figure skater, anyway? All three looked deathly frightened and malnourished. The kid looked like he was the worst off.

"Wow! Those girls are-" Sanji ogled the women.

"Zey are my sisters, and if you lay a hand on zem… kolkolkolkolkol-"

"But which one's Ravis?" asked Zoro. "And who are these other people?"

"Zis is my older sister, Katyusha," he indicated to the one with farm clothing. "And zis is my younger sister, Nataliya,"

"Are these your brothers, then?" asked Franky, pointing at the trio left.

"No, they used to live in his house," Yao answered.

"Zier names are Toris, Eduard, and Ravis. Ravis is the boy in red," Ivan explained.

"He looks like he's at a normal height for a ten year old [2]," Chopper commented.

"He's also fifteen," Alfred said bitterly. He glared at Ivan as if it was his fault.

"Really?" Ussop said.

"But we're getting off topic here," Yao interrupted. "We have to get the others out of jail, and I have to get cooking," He headed downstairs for the kitchen.

"But how are we going to rescue Cap'n and the others if we're not going to hurt the guards?"

Everyone looked out the window, thinking. Finally, Francis said, "I 'ave an idea!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Latvia's uniform, like a security guard or a figure skater- That's how Lithuania described Russia's uniform when Russia did the kolkolkol scene in the anime. Latvia's uniform looked similar enough.

[2] Latvia's height- he is 140 cm, about 4'5". That's really short; 4'5" is on the short side for ten-year-olds in America, but there's also the fact that the average might be different. I thought that Latvia wouldn't be seen as any younger than ten, though.

What is France's plan? What will China cook? And when will I get on with the plot?


	22. Chapter 22

I have to tell you all this up front- I can't get into France's character, so he is the most Out Of Character (OOC). The reason being… well, he's not very easy to describe.

Also, please go to my poll! PLEASE!

Chapter 22 (Sealand POV)

"So, mes Amis (my friends), zis is ze plan zat I 'ave made," France spread out a sheet of paper with the layout of the prison etched in pencil. China had finished his cooking, and we were all back in the room where the Straw Hats slept. "Alfred, you run in and destroy ze door. Eif zere are any guards, Yao will defeat zem,"

China grudgingly nodded. "I am the only one who can fight without hurting them, unless you can," he asked the Straw Hats.

"Depends," Robin said. "How are you going to do it?" Come to think of it, I never saw her fight.

"I will use pressure points," China said simply. "I memorized them all,"

Robin said nothing. Her method was probably less effective, I presumed.

"So what's step two?" asked Sanji.

"Zat is as far as I 'ave planned," France said gracefully. "Quoi? A simple plan is best."

"But all that's left after that is to get them out, right?" Luffy said optimistically. "We just have to break the bars, and then we're home free!"

"All right!" Alfred shouted. "We're gonna bust Iggy and the others out!"

Later…

We gathered around the door of the tunnel that acted as a prison. We all agreed not to bring weapons, since we were apologizing, but I was sure that most of us brought something. Zoro refused to part with his white sword, so we let him bring it as long as it was hidden and he promised not to use it, and China brought the food in the wok he used to beat up the Axis. I grudgingly gave up my sniper rifle, but I had a standard-issue L9A1 handgun strapped to my leg [1]. I'm sure that Russia still had his pipe somewhere.

"Okay, everyone ready?" America asked.

"No, I-" Nami was still drinking a bottle of tea, but since when did America listen to anyone?

CRASH! America punched down the door, knocking it off its hinges and leaving an imprint that reached as deep as Germany and Spain's boot and axe when they hit it the day before. "THE HERO HAS ARRIVED!"

"Is he always like this?" asked Zoro, embarrassed by his arrogance.

"You have no idea…" China said in response.

"Even if he's not really a kid, I can't believe that he could do that…" Nami said, still impressed.

"H-hey! How the (Hades) did you get in?" a guard panicked.

Wait a minute… "Hey! You're the one who shot me last night!" I charged towards him, and tackled him in the (parts that makes boys boys). Once he was down, I held him in a full-body lock.

"H-how did you-" he managed to choke, presumably about to say 'how did you survive'. Give me a break; you'd think that he'd be glad that he didn't have a murder on his conscience. "A-are you that ghost of the kid I killed last night?"

Or that. "No, if I was, I'd be dragging you to Hell. I'm just dragging you through the dirt!" I tightened my grip on him.

"Peter! Let go of him!" Jerk-England shouted from the cell. Instinctively, I obeyed. Byproduct of living under him, I guessed. Or he just yells loudly. As soon as I let go, China swooped in and jabbed the guard lightly in certain spots. He apologized in Chinese, then English, and laid a few dishes and a bowl of rice next to him.

"Cap'n!" Robin ran towards the cell.

"Ve~ Ludwig!" Italy waved his arms happily once more. Romano stood in silence, but I knew that he was glad to see Spain.

"IGGY! MATTIE!" America tore apart the bars with his excessive strength, leaving enough room for Russia to step through. Germany went first, followed by jerk-England, then Spain, Japan, and Canada.

"Arigato," Japan said to all of us. "Sank you,"

"No problem, dude!" America said.

"Lovino!" Spain hugged him affectionately. Romano edged away slightly.

"H-hallo," Germany said to Italy. Formal as ever, I see.

"Aiyah! Have you forgotten why we are here?" China asked.

"Eh? I thought that we were rescuing them?" America said cluelessly.

"We also came here to apologize to them, remember?"

"You did?" Canada said without very many other people noticing. "I'm sorry, John!"

"'John'?" I asked.

"That's his name," jerk-England explained. "Before you came, I worked at the bookstore for a while so I got to know him. And I threatened him just now using his name, so Canada knows,"

"Canada?" Chopper asked.

"That's my name," Canada said. He took a deep breath, and let it out. "Okay, this is how it is." He explained that we were hiding our real names so that jerk-England could remember them on his own, how we knew each other (he was lying to cover up the fact that we were nations here), and that we couldn't tell them our secret until jerk-England remembers."I'm sorry I kept this from you!"

There was a long pause.

"Well, now we know," Zoro said passively.

"Well, we didn't want to really pry, anyway," Chopper said, his body not agreeing with what he was saying at all.

"You're not surprised at all?" Canada said, almost scandalized.

"Oi, in that case, what're your names?" Luffy asked.

"Well… Arthur? Which ones do you remember?"

He looked off into space for a while. "Let's see… your name is Spain, right? You're Germany, I know for sure that you're Canada, and you're America," he turned to the Italy brothers. "I can't exactly sort out what your names are. They're Italy, Romano, or Veneziano,"

"Ve~ our last name is Italy!" Italy said. I never actually thought of it that way, but if it works for them…

"I'm Romano, _fratello _is Veneziano," Romano explained. "But _fratello_ is called Italy by everyone else,"

"Your name is Russia, and you are…" jerk-England paused. He had a look of pure hatred on his face, "France…"

"Ohonhonhon! So you remember, ma chérie!" France said obnoxiously.

"I'm not your bloody darling, you bloody frog!" jerk-England got his sword out of nowhere.

"You truly sink zat you can defeat me?" France and England began to duel, a strange sight when they were both wearing the uniforms they wore in WWII.

"Well, I beat you at least a dozen times!"

"Aiyah, why can't they ever stop fighting?" China said exasperatedly. He and Japan were the only two whom he did not remember, besides me. "Come on, we must apologize to the ones that were injured,"

Zoro picked up John, and we left the cave for the hospital. I think that France and England stopped fighting after a while, because they got there before us.

This was going to be very awkward…

Later…

"Well, that could have worse," Spain said optimistically.

"But it was still a bloody disaster," jerk-England muttered.

"You mean when we tried to introduce Canada to Mary so that he could say sorry, and she couldn't see him?" Ussop laughed.

"Or when it turned out that Peter shot Adam from behind so that he never saw him, and he kept on yelling at Ussop to confess?" Nami joked.

"Or how Sam refused to admit that Kiku beat him?" Zoro said. "Not all warriors have to be adults,"

"All of it," jerk-England said bitterly.

"什麼 (what)!" China roared.

"The food was good, though," I said quickly, since jerk-England wouldn't say it. The one thing that ticks China off is people insulting his food.

"But the chief was allergic, wasn't he?" asked Sanji rhetorically. "So I made him lunch,"

"Dude! He was poisoned with your peanuts!" Alfred giggled.

"Vell, at least he let us out," Germany said soberly.

"Ve~ after _fratello_ and I made him pasta!" Italy flounced around some more.

"Don't you dare wear that in public again!" Romano was itching to choke his brother again, but if he did, then he'd get arrested. Again.

"Come on, we still have some time left, don't we?" Spain said cheerfully. "So we can have another fight!"

The fight? Oh, I had clean forgotten! "So who's next?"

"It's Chopper vs. … I forgot the box on… 'Si-yi-lan-de'." Nami pronounced the last words awkwardly.

"Si-yi-lan-de…?" I repeated. "Wait, are you talking about Sealand?"

Nami shook her head. "China told me that is was Si-yi-lan-de,"

"That's just him; it's actually called Sealand," I said. Man, it was weird using my name on my land. It was like calling someone else by my name. "Anyway, I think that you left the box on the top shelf in the meeting room,"

"Thanks," she said hastily, and ran back to the docks. Was it just me, or did she notice something when I said my name?

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Sealand's gun, L9A1- standard issue for the British army since WWII. Perfect for Sealand.

What got Nami so excited? Who's the next person to fight? And when will someone notice Canada?


	23. Chapter 23

Having the fights back was a snap decision, mainly so that the poll I had would become significant. I have a problem with bringing back old plot-points, so I'll try to wrap most of them up in this chapter and the next. Tell me if I miss any.

Who should Sealand and the Italy brothers fight? I need votes!

Chapter 23 (Robin POV)

"Robin!" Nami came running towards me. "I think I found something!"

"What is it?" I asked. "Did you find something out when you were talking to Peter?"

"Not exactly, but I found something interesting. Peter said that the ship is actually called Sealand,"

Sealand… "That sounds familiar, but why did you think it was important?"

"From what we're heard, Peter's real name sounds exactly the same," Nami said conclusively.

I nodded. "That might be important. Did you write that down?"

"Uh-huh. What did you find?"

I thought for a moment. "For one, it seems like everyone who isn't in some way related to Cap'n has a different native language. All of them have some sort of accent, and most of them can't pronounce the th- sound. Do you think that might be something?"

"Maybe… Come to think of it, they all seem to understand each other, no matter what language they speak. Even Peter, and he's only twelve,"

"How do you know that they aren't lying about that?" I knew I was being paranoid, but the de-aging seemed way too convenient.

"Look, Robin, we can't just assume that they're lying about everything, or we'll never get anywhere,"

She had a point. "Okay then. So we're having fights again?"

Nami nodded, thankful of the change of subject. "I just have to get the papers for the next fight. It seems weird, having a match again, after Veneciano and Romano got arrested," she mused. "All of a sudden, all the danger vanished, without us really having to fight anyone. I mean, that's a good thing, but it's just… weird,"

I let Nami reflect on this for a moment. "But that's good, isn't it? Normally, someone would be dead by now, but all of us, including our enemies, are still alive,"

She nodded. "You're right. It's better this way, ending with an apology and forgiveness. Now let's set up the next match!"

Later, back in the clearing…

"All right! The next match is Chopper vs. Canada!" Nami yelled like a real sports announcer.

"Eh? Really?" Chopper danced around nervously.

"Who is zis 'Can-uh-da' you speak uv?" Germany asked.

"Who're you?" asked a small polar bear.

"I'm Canada…" Canada muttered. "Hey, where's Zoro?"

"Lost, as usual," Nami sighed. "He's probably still in town,"

"Just like that _marimo_-head to-" Sanji began, but he was interrupted by the sound of metal cutting wood.

The trees behind us split into slices. "I'm here," Zoro said coolly.

"In zat case, ein, zwei, drei, PAINT!" Germany yelled. Chopper dabbed paint on his right knee, and Canada on his back. "Begin!"

"Here, take care of him," Canada handed America the polar bear. "It'll be over soon,"

Canada whipped out a strangely shaped rod from his pack. It was made of wood, and curved into a paddle at the end. It looked useless as a weapon, but it looked pretty solid.

"That's Mattie's hockey stick," America said. "He managed to beat me at hockey with that,"

Chopper morphed into his battle form, six feet tall and muscular. If Canada was intimidated, he didn't show it. He just brandished his hockey stick higher. "Tranche de hockey!" Canada brought down his hockey stick like a sword onto Chopper's head.

"Tranche de hockey," France explained, "means 'Hockey slice' in our native language,"

"'Our' native language?" I asked.

"Canada used to live with France back when we were little," Alfred replied. "Most of us don't speak English as a first language, and France doesn't, either. So Mattie's first language is-"

"Stai zitto!" Romano appeared behind America's back and slapped his hand over his mouth. "Se avete intenzione di dire il nome della lingua, si dice in quella lingua, Ice Cream Jerk! [1]"

"Oh, okay!" America said, as if he understood every word he said. "Well, Romano said not to tell you the name of the languages for a good reason, so I won't! Because it would be unheroic to break a promise!"

"A promise?" I asked.

"Ow…" Chopper was recovering from the impact. "Try this!" he slugged Canada one with his right fist.

He took the blow head on! Sanji gave Chopper a thumbs-up. "Ugh…" Canada stood up. He's okay? "That hurt… but it's nothing… compared to A-America's strength,"

"Basically, Germany made us all swear that we wouldn't tell you anything related to the secret until you knew about it," America clarified.

"So language _does_ have something to do with it!" I said to Nami.

"There's no harm in saying this, though. The only one that speak English as a first language are me, P-"

"Stai zitto, Ice Cream Jerk!" Romano yelled again.

Canada produced a wooden cylinder from his pack. "A hockey stick isn't meant to be swung like a sword," he unscrewed the top and tossed it between him and Chopper. "It's meant to be used," he positioned the stick paddle-downward, and grabbed the stick, "Like this!" He rushed forward, toward the wooden block. Chopper moved to his left, expecting an attack. Canada circled around, and struck- from three meters away. Chopper bent down on one knee.

"H-how…?" Chopper muttered, his right eye squinting in pain.

"Look!" Ussop pointed at the ground before him.

"That's the block, isn't it?" asked Franky. He shot the block with that stick! He hit it that hard?

"Goal!" Canada shouted, the loudest I ever heard him.

"That's hockey!" America said cheerfully. "The only thing that really gets Canadia fired up!"

Nami sweatdropped. "Hitting chunks of wood at people with sticks is hockey?"

"Nah, it's actually more complicated than that, Canada just weaponized it a bit!" America smiled. "Plus, if this was actual hockey, he'd be wearing skates!"

"Can-uh-da vins zis match!" Germany yelled. A bit late, I thought.

"Phew… I thought I might die…" Canada sighed.

"Ow… I don't think that a painkiller would work…" Chopper moaned.

"Je suis désolé, I'm sorry!" Canada put his hands together and lowered his head.

"Canada? We need to ask you something," Nami interrupted.

"Again? Can't we have another match?" he groaned.

"Fine. The next match is-" she drew another slip of paper- "Kiku vs. Robin!"

_**OMAKE**_

"Oi, do you guys have a treasure?" Luffy asked.

"Eh?" asked Arthur.

"Yeah!" America replied. "Let's see… Ice cream, hamburgers-"

"…Never mind. What about you, Russia?" Nami asked .

"VODKA!"

"Germany?"

"Beer, potatoes, and _wurst_,"

"Veneciano?"

"PASTAA!"

"Romano?"

"Sp- I mean, tomatoes!"

"Spain?"

"Romano and tomatoes!"

"France?"

"You, ma chérie -"

"Moving on, what about you, Canada?"

"Hockey and maple syrup,"

"Arthur?"

"Tea? I can't remember,"

"Kiku?"

"Sushi,"

"Yao, please tell me you have a better answer,"

"Panda!"

Nami sighed. "We're not talking about what you like; we're talking about what you treasure!"

"Like the straw hat that Shanks gave me!" Luffy put a hand to it.

They exchanged glances. "Oh," said America. "In that case, this!" he held up a piece of paper with a lot of misspellings on it. "It's not the real thing, but I can't carry the real one all the time,"

"What is it?" Nami asked.

"It's the Con(stitution)-" France cut him off.

"My pots and pans, ma chérie,"

"Kiku?"

"Se samurai spirit, and also sakura blossoms,"

"Canada?"

"My main arteries [2],"

"Veneciano?"

"Ve~ Germany and _fratello_ and-"

"Romano?"

He came closer. "Spain," he whispered. "Don't tell him!"

"Yao?"

"My cooking skills, and my spine [3],"

"Russia?"

"Ze scarf zat my sister made,"

"Arthur?"

"I can't exactly remember…"

"What about you, Germany?"

"Ze sings zat I treasure… _mein bruder_ gave me zis," he reached for his neck, and held out a shuriken-like cross (the Teutonic Knights cross, Prussia's) "Zere is also, zis," he held out a push-broom, "Und zis," in his other hand, he had-

"Is that a pair of underwear?" Nami asked.

"Ja, it vas… from somevon dear to me,"

"Like my sword?" Zoro asked.

He nodded.

"But underwear, of all things?" asked Nami, disgusted.

"Zat iz vhat he gave me,"

"I know, but-"

"Ve~ I gave it to him!" Veneciano added.

"… Why?"

DONE!

[1] Romano when stopping America from saying something- "If you're going to say the name of the language, say it in that language!" Basically, hide the name of the language, because it gives too much away.

[2] Canada's main arteries- Niagara Falls.

[3] China's spine- Great Wall of China.

What does Robin want from Canada? What will happen in the next match? And what about Iggy? Find out next chapter!


	24. Chapter 24

To the person who wanted to put the Nordics in- I can only promise you that Sweden and Finland will appear, in the next chapter and sometime later. I never got to the part of Hetalia where the other Nordics appear, so I can't promise you much beyond that.

Note- I'm just not cut out for angst, so there might be a few OOC scenes. I can't really dwell on despair, so it might be a little choppy.

Another note- I read in chapter 320, from one of the Admirals that every group that Robin joined has been destroyed, leaving her the sole survivor. To make it canon- when Iggy left, the pirates disbanded, and went on with their own lives. Since their ship was never seen sailing again, it was assumed that they had all been killed off somewhere.

Chapter 24 (Iggy POV)

"Good luck, Robin," I said. "You too, Kiku,"

"Thanks," said Robin.

"Arigato," Kiku nodded.

"Ze last fight of ze day vill commence!" Germany shouted. "Kiku-san vs. Robin! Ein, zwei-"

"Hold on," Zoro interrupted. "You don't know Robin's power, do you?"

I nodded. "Of course I do! It's- Oh, right. I see what you mean,"

"What'cha talking about?" asked America.

"Robin's ability gives her a way too unfair advantage. You'll see what I mean when she fights," Zoro explained.

"But only in this kind of match. Now, if it were something else…" I finished.

"Like what?" asked Sanji.

"First to be knocked down, maybe?" suggested France.

Everyone looked at him. "That was bloody brilliant!" I said. "But don't think that I owe you anything!"

"Of course not, _Mon ami_," he said. I didn't believe him.

"I'm not your bloody friend, either!" Something about this bloke just… irritates me!

"Ohonhonhon…" he laughed menacingly.

"Ze vight vill commence! Ein, zwei, drei, BEGIN!"

Kiku gave a respectful bow. "Let us begin," he mounted his sword to his hip, and slid his right hand to its hilt, preparing to draw.

"Eight-wheel-fleur…" Robin crossed her arms, and arms erupted from the ground at Kiku's feet. "Grab!" They grabbed his legs.

"CHIGI! What just happened?" Romano screeched.

"That's Robin's ability," I told him. "She ate the Hana-Hana devil fruit when she was young, so she has the power to copy her body parts on any surface she sees in exchange for being unable to swim,"

Germany gave her a disapproving look. "I hope zat she did not vant to fight vhen she ate zat… fruit. To be unable to svim vould be like giving up everyfing vhen falling into ze vater,"

"I honestly have no idea when or why she ate it," I said. "But she has improved, since I last saw her,"

SLASH! Kiku nicked the one of the arms that gripped his leg, and watched it bleed for a second. All of Robin's arms- copies and real- replicated the cut.

"…Except for that," I really wasn't that concerned about her out there. I mean, she's a strong lass, and Kiku probably wouldn't do anything that bad to her, right?

SLICE! SHING! Kiku kept hacking at Robin's arms, each of them streaming with blood. "Sat ability is not as cowardly as I had sought (A/N thought)," Kiku said between swings. "You are also hurt when I cut seese,"

Robin released her grip on Kiku, and the arms disappeared. Beads of sweat dripped down her forehead.

"Robin!" I tried to help her, but America grabbed my waist.

"Calm down!" he said.

"How can I calm down? Robin's-" I turned around.

America gave me a pained look. "Iggy… I know how you feel. But the reason why Robin's trying so hard… she's trying to show you how much she's grown these past twenty years! She wants to show you that she can survive on her own… [1]"

I can survive on my own… I don't need you… It's all your fault… I'm going independent! More memories flashed through my head, each of them of someone who looked a lot like Canada, except different… We were in a muddy field, rain pouring all around us. I was on the ground, America stood with a musket aimed at my head…

"IGGY!" My… nose… "Iggy! You're awake! I had to break your nose to get you to wake up!"

"Ugh… America?" Tears flooded my eyes, for a reason I still could not remember. "I-I'm sorry,"

"No, I should be sorry… even if it was your-"

"Come on, can't you two give it a rest? What's done is done, and we can't change it now!" Canada peeled America off of me. I'd never seen Canada so sad before. Whatever America was talking about, brewed bad memories for Canada. "Besides… it all happened years ago… haven't you gotten over it?"

I looked on, not entirely understanding what was going on. As much as I hated it, there was almost nothing that I could do.

"Zantetsuken! [2]" Kiku put his hand to the hilt of his blade as if to draw, and rushed toward Robin as soon as she released her arms. A moment later, he was behind her. I heard the click of the sword guard touching the scabbard. Robin's legs buckled beneath her, and she fell to the ground. "Se match is over,"

"Robin!" I ran towards her. She's already lost, there nothing I could do to change that.

"She should be all right," Kiku said, "Do not worry. I struck with se flat of se blade, and on se back of her knees [3],"

I sighed in relief. Kiku was good enough not to hurt Robin. That's why he's my friend… friend?

"申し訳ありません, I am sorry," Kiku said to Robin. "You are not an enemy, so I tried not to kill you,"

"It's okay," she said. "I've… felt worse,"

It was then when I realized how long I had been gone. Twenty years was a long time… what happened to Robin this whole time?

Later (Robin POV)

"Canada," Nami said just before we entered the restaurant.

He sighed. "It's about Arthur, isn't it?" Spot on, as usual. But then again, what else did we talk about?

"Not just that," Nami said. "Why do America and Russia hate each other? I mean, you did say that they took the same side once, right?"

"I did…" Canada said nervously.

"And what do they mean by 'Capitalist' and 'Communist'?" I asked.

Canada glanced around, waiting for Yao to go in. "Okay, I just hope that no one notices you two gone. No one ever notices me, even when I'm right next to them… Russia sat on me once,"

We went to the next-best place for dinner, which was thankfully crowded enough for no one to overhear. We ordered dinner, and waited for Canada to answer.

"I can't tell you much about Capitalism and Communism," he began over a cup of tea with maple syrup in it, "since it's a part of the secret, but let's just say that that's the reason why they hate each other," he said. "I can tell you this, too. America and Russia had a stand-off not too long ago. They never actually fought, but both of them were sure that the other would attack,"

"And it was over Capitalism and Communism?" I asked.

He shook his head. "The fight itself was over something else, but Capitalism and Communism is what sparked it all. So what do you want?"

"That's it for Capitalism and Communism," Nami said, "but I was wondering if you had any pictures with you. If you can show us, of course,"

"No, I was talking about what you wanted to order. I'd like some chicken, please," he said to the waitress. "I'm sorry, it's just that… I'm hungry…"

"I'd like steamed fish, please," I asked.

"Veal and some champagne," Nami ordered.

"Are you sure that you can pay for that?" Canada said nervously.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," Nami reassured him. "Anyway, the pictures?"

"Oh, right! Sorry," Canada rummaged around his bag, and produced a leather photo album. It was worn, but otherwise well-kept and maintained. He plucked out a few pictures gingerly, and stacked them on top of each other so that only one showed. This one was a black-and-white picture of six people in old-fashioned military dress standing in a room [4]. I recognized Canada, Yao, Cap'n, Russia, and France. I peered closer. Someone who must have been Canada's twin was standing next to him, wearing a vastly different uniform.

"Is that America?" I asked. "He does look a lot like you,"

Canada nodded. "Unfortunately…" he caught himself before saying anything else, and said quite hurriedly, "This is our group, the Allies."

He showed us another one. This one was of Italy and several other people in military uniform. The tall, stern-looking man must have been Germany, the one standing at the fringe looked just like Kiku, and the scowling young man next to Italy was definitely Romano. A man with long hair was smiling next to a plain-looking man, while a young woman was glaring at an arrogant-looking man. "Everyone except for that guy," he pointed to the arrogant man, "was part of a group called the Axis. They disbanded a while later,"

"Then why is he in there?" I asked,

"He just wanted some attention," Canada said. "He's like that,"

"Oh?" Nami interrupted, noticing something. "Why is there a burn mark on Germany's arm?" I followed her gaze, and saw a spot on the picture that looked like it was jabbed with a lit cigar.

Canada looked guilty. "That's… there used to be a symbol there, but Germany himself scorched it out. He regrets ever following it, and right now, he's still blamed for what happened,"

"What happened?" Nami asked, but Canada shook his head.

"That's not something that I can tell you," he said mournfully. "You see this woman?" he said in an effort to change the subject, "This is Elizaveta, she divorced Roderich not long ago when this was taken,"

Elizaveta and Roderich… "Then they were the married couple who got in a fight with Ivan?"

"You were listening?" he said, surprised. Then he nodded. "Yes, they were. I have a picture of them somewhere, but first, take a look at this guy," he pointed to the arrogant man. Compared to the others, he looked lighter in color, but I couldn't tell why, since it was in black-and-white. "This is Gilbert, Germany's older brother. He's kinda crazy, really arrogant, calls himself awesome for some reason, and he picks a fight with _everyone_, but…" he sighed. "You'll have to make the call on if you like him or not,"

"I don't like him already…" Nami said. "I guess that's why he wanted to be seen with them,"

Canada ignored her, and took out another photo. This time, it was of France and an aristocratic man sitting together on a couch. The man was sparkling for some reason. "That's Roderich,"

"Why's he sparkling?" asked Sanji.

"Well…" Canada began. "France snuck in to Germany's house to make fun of Roderich, because he was freeloading off of Germany… Maple! How did you get here?"

Nami and I turned around, and Sanji was sitting in the chair opposite Canada. When did he…?

"I saw you two sneaking out last time. So how did you manage to go out with two girls at the same time?"

"Um… er…" Canada was blushing, and whispered something that sounded like "Oh non, il me rend son comme la France! [5]"

"What?" Sanji asked.

"He's not going out with either of us!" Nami vehemently denied his claims. "We were just… asking some questions…"

Canada nodded feverishly. He was as red as an autumn leaf… that fell from a maple tree. "I- I was just telling them about Arthur's past!"

He told him what he told us last time, and explained that he couldn't tell him one secret. "I'll tell you guys when Arthur remembers," he promised after his speech.

"Okay," Sanji said, half-relieved by the fact that Canada was not going out with either of us, and half-upset because Canada couldn't tell him the secret of dating two girls at the same time. "I'm telling Luffy and the others as soon as we get back,"

"Yeah…" Canada turned to us, "Why didn't you tell them, Nami, Robin?"

Nami went as red as an apple. "I thought that you didn't want me to tell them!" she shouted at Canada.

Canada flinched, and then shook his head. "No, it's not like this is a secret [6]!"

"It isn't?" I shouted. "Then why…" I faltered. Even if it he didn't have to hide it, Canada had no reason to tell them.

"They didn't ask," he replied. Before any of us could say anything else, he said quickly, "And they never seemed to want to know," (A/N I read too many books where a minor character know the secret that the main characters are looking for, and when it turns out that they know, they say, "(insert person's name here) never asked". Canada is not that type of person.)

"Oh." That seemed to appease Nami. "Okay then. Robin, we're leaving," she stood up, and headed for the door. Oh, I see what she's doing…

"Excuse me, sir?" the waitress said. "Your bill?"

Canada looked like a deer in the headlights of a car… wait a second, what was a car, anyway? "M-Maple!"

"Come on, he should be okay," Nami told me as she passed the door to someone. "It should only be about-" She cut off. I peered over her shoulder and saw what she was looking at.

A man that we had only seen in a picture was holding the door for us. Wow, I'd never seen anyone with that eye color before.

_**Meanwhile, in another dimension…**_

"Where is big brother? Where is he? You're hiding him from me! _Tell me __**NOW**__!"_

TO BE CONTINUED! Maybe…

[1] I can survive on my own; I don't need you, etc. - War of American Independence. America became independent from Britain on July 4th, 1776.

[2] Zantetsuken- used by Odin in the _Final_ _Fantasy_ series.

[3] Japan hitting Robin on the back of her knees, then she falls- It might be just me, but on the foreleg, if you hit it near the back of the knee, you fall backwards. I think…

[4] Old-fashioned military uniform- remember, there are only Marines in One Piece. Their uniform is different from the uniforms from WW2, but Robin recognized them as military. Let's say that there were uniforms like that at some point, except they fell out of use over time.

[5] Canada when Sanji interrogates him- Oh no, he's making me sound like France! Basically, like a two-timer, or a pervert.

Canada speaks French when he's surprised, and when he wants to say something in another language, he speaks French, because it's his birth language, and it's still in use today. The Italy brothers, however, speak Italian automatically rather than Latin, because it's still in use today. But when they have to say something to each other in a language other than Italian or English, Latin is next on the list.

[6] Canada saying that it's not a secret- Dude, this is history! It's all in Wikipedia and Google! And we study this! It's not a secret.

The thing with America and Russia is the Cold War. This is only what I can find, but both sides had nukes, and if one attacked, then the other would counterattack. America and Russia were not allies, since America was Capitalist and Russia was Communist, which is sort of the reason why they didn't trust one another.

The burned-out symbol on Germany's arm is the swastika. I looked up the uniforms of the time, to check where it was on the uniform.

Who is this mysterious man at the door? What will Sanji tell the Straw Hats? Will they get mad? And what about that incestuous woman at the end? Find out soon!


	25. Chapter 25

This chapter has little to do with the actual plot, but it takes a break from everything. Watch out, Baltics! She-who-must-not-be-named is coming!

Note- From now on, I will change my foreign language translation policy. Now, rather than putting the translations at the end of the chapter, now I'm putting them right at the end of the sentence in parenthesis. It's more convenient this way. Assume that in whatever country they are, they speak the national language.

IMPORTANT! I don't know very much about what is going on in the world right now, so what I say is likely to be highly inaccurate. OC alert! I just needed Mexico for a bit.

Side note- I broke another promise. I will ship some SuFin and Austria/Hungary, but in name only. Love is only a driving force here.

Another broken promise! I have more than just the Allies, Axis, Sealand and Spain now.

Chapter 25 (Latvia POV)

When Mr. Russia vanished, me and the other Baltics breathed freely for the first time since the Soviet Union disbanded. Even if the Russian government was still here, at least he's not banging on the door, threatening us. But then again…

"Where is big brother?" Belarus screeched in Russian. "Where is he? You're hiding him from me! _Tell me __**NOW**_!"

"C-Calm down-" Lithuania, the only one who could stand to go near her tried to comfort her- In Russian, as usual. It was the only language that Belarus actually wanted to hear.

"YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS!" she shouted. If I wasn't frightened to death of her and her knife, and was typing something somewhere far away, like a warm room writing fanfiction, I'd say that she doesn't have much of a grip on reality. But I wasn't, and I was instead trembling in fear as she waved her razor-sharp knife around. "TELL ME!"

She grabbed Estonia by the collar- Oh no, that's his actual neck! Her fingers dug into his skin like a- a-

"He- he's- Mr. Russia is-" I blurted out without thinking. What have I done?

Belarus released her grip on Estonia, but I was too afraid to care. "You know where he is?" she said, her voice dangerously calm.

"H-he's-" Where did he go, again? Last time I saw him-

"If you won't tell me, DIE!" she slashed at me with her knife, and-

"YAAAAA!" All of a sudden, the ground vanished! I was falling! "YAAAA-"

CRASH!

The last thing I heard was Estonia screaming "_Lätiiiiiiiii_!" (A/N Läti is Latvia, in Estonian.)

**Meanwhile, in Sweden (Finland POV)…**

Sweden went out searching for Sealand, and I'm starting to get worried. I mean, we weren't that frightened when he left, since he always shows up every time there's a meeting, but now…

"We h'vn't seen h'm f'r two weeks," Sweden had said before leaving. "'m going t' look f'r h'm at 'ngl'nd's house. He h'sn't been anw'r'ng m' c'lls at 'll,"

Well, to be honest, I didn't think that Sealand would really go back to England's house, but you never know with that guy.

Sweden can be kind of reckless sometimes, you know what I mean? So I followed him all the way to _Göteborg_ [1] with Hanatamago, just to make sure that nothing bad would happen… Okay, I admit it; I was scared being on my own! More scared than being with Sweden…

When we got to the port, Sweden turned around and saw me! "Hello,"

"YAAA!" I guess that you already know who screamed that.

"You f'll'w'd me h're?"

GYAH! He found me out! He put his hand on my shoulder. "W'll, you'r m' w'fe. C'm' w'th me,"

Well, it could have been worse. Sweden paid for the tickets to go to London, where Mr. England lived. Before we boarded, I went to call Estonia, but he didn't answer. I hope that Ms. Belarus didn't get to him…

"Hello," Sweden said grimly to someone on the phone.

"GYAAAHH!" the person on the other end of the line screamed.

"I w'nt'd t' kn'w 'f you s'w Seal'nd," he said in English "Oh? Is th't r'ght? Th'nk you," he hung up.  
>"'ngl'nd's m'ss'ng,"<p>

England's missing? This was bad! "Who was that?"

"W'l's," he replied. Wales… he's England's brother, who lives west of him. "'ll ask if any'ne els' 's m'ss'ng,"

I got through to Estonia, and I told him that I'd call him back when we got to Mr. England's house. I picked up Hanatamago, and boarded the ship with Sweden.

"Hold on, you," one of the people who worked on the boat stopped me. "You can't bring your dog on board,"

"Oh, sorry," I let Hamatamago down. "I'm sorry," I told him in Finnish, "But I think that you might have to go home on your own,"

"I can't let you do that. That'll just make the stray population worse. Give it to me, NOW,"

"Um… Er…" I really thought that he would break Hanatomago's neck if I gave him to this guy, but it's not like I could stand up to him… He's kind of scary.

"Shut up, you-" he lunged for Hanatamago, but luckily, Sweden showed up!

"'s th'r' a pr'bl'm?" he asked, giving him the same face that got him Estonia and Latvia.

This guy's reaction was just like mine when I first ran away with Mr. Sweden. Sometimes, I'm glad I ran away from Mr. Denmark…

"Um… n-no, sir," he said. He left.

"Ar' you alr'ght?" he asked.

"Y-yes!" I said quickly.

"Th't is good," he said. Even if I was his wife, he's still kind of creepy!

**A few minutes earlier, in Mexico (Mexico POV)**

I sighed. It was strange being the biggest one on the continent now that U.S. and Canada were gone. Well, might as well prank call Belarus.

"Hello? I know where your brother is…"

**Back in Russia… (Estonia POV)**

"_Lätiiiiiiiii!_" I yelled as Latvia hit the ground.

Ringringring. Belarus's phone was ringing. I have no idea who would even want to call her besides Lithuania (who was right here) and Ukraine (who was right outside the window, across the border and busy farming). "Привет," she said, which was Russian for 'Hello'. "Что? Вы знаете, где он? Скажи мне сейчас! Я иду к тебе, старший брат!" (What? You know where he is? Tell me now! I am coming for you, older brother!). She sprinted out.

I let out a sigh of relief. Ringringring… Wait a second, that's my phone! "Tere?" I asked. (Estonian for Hello).

"Estonia!" Finland cried from the other end in Finnish. "Sealand's missing, and so is Mr. England!"

"They are?" How was that possible? I could see Sealand going missing, but England? "How did you find out?"

"Sweden asked Wales where Sealand was, and he said that England's missing, too!"

"Okay, okay- by the way, Mr. Russia's missing, too!"

"He is? Oh man, Ms. Belarus must have been horrible!"

"Sh-she was…" I stuttered. "M-my neck…"

A ship's horn blew on Finland's end. "I'm sorry, the ship leaves in five minutes! I'll call you once I get to Mr. England's house!"

"Okay, I have to get Latvia to the emergency room!"

"What?"

"Never mind, bye!"

I turned to Lithuania. "Bad news! England and Sealand have gone missing!"

"What? I have to call Poland right away!"

**Meanwhile, in Poland (Poland POV)**

"I wonder how the Italy brothers are doing." I said aloud. "Wherever they are, they've gotta be with Germany. Or Spain. I mean, they're, like, totally joined to the hip. Maybe I'll call them,"

"Beep Beep. The number you have called is unavailable. Please-"

Ringringringringring. Caller ID- Liet. "Hey, Liet, how's it going?" I said in Polish.

"Bad news! Mr. Russia, England, and Sealand have gone missing!" he said frantically.

"Yeah, I just called Italy, and he, like, wasn't there. He must have totally dropped his phone in a lake or the ocean or something,"

"B-but Italy might be missing, too!"

"Well, Liet, I can just ask Germany," I hung up on Liet and dialed Germany's number.

"Beep. Beep. The number you have-"

I dialed Liet as quickly as I could. "Liet! OMG! I can't call Germany!"

"I- Germany's gone missing, too? Estonia! Germany's missing! Estonia?" he sighed. "I'll call you back later, Estonia just called 112 (the Russian equivalent of 911), and I'm the only one with a Russian driver's license! Bye!"

The line went dead. Time to make a few more calls…

**Later, in a Russian hospital… (Lithuania POV)**

"…luckily, none of his vitals were injured in the fall. His back appears to have been scraped badly in the fall, but they have healed at a remarkable pace. All in all, he's lucky to be alive," the doctor concluded.

I let out a sigh of relief. But this was nothing, compared to what Mr. Russia did to him. Daily. That's where the scars came from [2] "However," I held my breath- "We have detected an abnormality in his liver. It appears that it has been exposed to a large quantity of alcohol,"

Oh no, he's figured out Latvia's underage drinking [3]!

"So large, that if he was to drink enough for an adult male to pass out every night, he would have to be drinking every day for at least twenty years. Now how old is he?"

"F-fifteen, sir," Estonia said. The doctor didn't believe him, but stalked off muttering something about vodka and potatoes. "Shouldn't you call Poland?" he asked in Estonian.

"Oh, right," I pressed the speed dial button, "Hello?"

"Liet! I just called Seaborga, and he said that he hasn't seen Italy or Romano in two weeks!"

"What?"

"Portugal said that Spain didn't-"

"Hold on, Spain's missing, too?"

"Yeah! You know, we should, like, get everyone together and find out what happened. We could, like, meet at England's house, since Finland and Sweden are already there. Bye!"

"Wait, Pol-" BEEP! He hung up. Not again…

I turned to Estonia. "Poland wants us to go to England's house for a meeting. Can you send a message to all the countries in the world?"

He nodded. "Just countries, or micronations, too?"

"And the micronations," I confirmed. I had a bad feeling about this…

**Later, in Iggy's house (his actual house, not his land) (Latvia POV)**

As soon as I woke up, Estonia told me that we had to go to Mr. England's house because of Poland. "Thanks for saving me from Belarus," he had said, "but now we have to have another world meeting at England's house,"

"But why?"

"Because of Poland," Lithuania sighed.

So now all of us are in Mr. England's house along with all of the other nations. And wow, it was crowded! "Poland's always been like this," Lithuania muttered.

"I wonder why he didn't just ask everyone who's missing," Estonia said. "It would have been a lot easier now that we have computers and e-mail,"

"Y-you're right," I trembled. "That way Mr. Sweden wouldn't be here…"

As soon as I said it, Mr. Sweden turned around with Mr. Finland, and glared at us! "H'llo,"

All three of us began trembling at the same time. "M-Mr. Sweden!" Lithuania stuttered.

Holy Martin Luther is he scary! "You d'n't h've t' c'll me th't," he grunted. "M' w'fe st'pp'd c'll'ng me th't a l'ng t'me ago,"

"F-Finland d-did?" Estonia asked. If I had to pick who was more intimidating between Mr. Sweden and Mr. Russia, Mr. Sweden would win. But I was still more afraid of Mr. Russia… my cervical vertebrae hurt just thinking about it!

Mr. Sweden nodded and put an arm around Mr. Finland. How could he stand it? Why didn't he run away- Oh yeah, he couldn't because Mr. Sweden slept with his arm around him the whole night.

"Y-yeah… you know how long it's been since I ran away from Mr. Denmark's house?"

Me and Lithuania snuck off while they were distracted. Luckily, there was enough going on for us to get away unnoticed. Many of the nations who were once a part of the British Empire were tearing up the Union Jack that was hanging up on one of the walls.

"Hey, I found Spain!" Poland yelled, pulling an indignant brunette by the arm. "He's not gone-"

"I'm Portugal!" he jerked his arm back.

"Oh, sorry. Hello, Australia,"

"I'm New Zealand!"

"Hold on, hi Scotland!" he turned around and waved.

"I'm Ireland!" he shouted back, but Poland ignored him.

"Sorry for mistaking you for Australia," he said when he turned back around.

"What are you talking about, mate? I'm Australia!"

"And I'm Scotland, not him!"

_This could be a long night_, I thought.

"Okay, so we should like, totally take attendance!" Poland stood on one of Mr. England's chairs and shouted over the commotion in Polish "Afghanistan?"

"Here!"

"Albania?"

"Here!"

Taiwan raised her hand. "Um, excuse me, but I thought that Abkhazia was first on the list!"

"No, I'm like, totally sure that-"

Now Korea raised his hand. "Ghana should be first, da-ze~"

"No, it should be- [4]"

BLAM! BLAM! Switzerland shot two bullets into the air, immediately silencing everyone. "Okay, I'm only going to say this once! We are going to speak one language here and one language only! Now we're going to vote on this! Who wants German?"

Naturally, everyone except for Liechtenstein was afraid of Switzerland and his guns, so we all raised our hands. So now we held the entire meeting in German. I hated speaking German, though. It was like being occupied all over again [5].

"Okay, Republik Zypern!" Poland called the last name on the list in German, which would have been 'Cyprus' in English.

"Here!"

"So, now we know who's missing! It's England, Germany, both of the Italy brothers, France, Japan, the U.S., Canada, China, Spain, Austria, Sealand, Russia, and Prussia!"

At least two hundred nations and micronations all glared at one person at once. I could feel their single, united thought: You brought us here for _that_?

"Okay, so, bye!" Poland hopped of the chair.

"Um, Poland?" Lithuania slid over to him. "I think that you should go now,"

"What for?" he asked, oblivious.

"You kind of…" he subtly indicated to the increasingly heavily armed crowd.

Poland turned around, slowly… "Oh, do widzenia !" (Polish for Goodbye)

He ran off, chased by an angry mob of gun-bearing nations.

"So, how are we going to clean up now?" Estonia said.

**Meanwhile, in England's empty basement…**

"Are you sure about this?" Norway asked.

A figure nodded. "I have to do this. It's for him, after all,"

"Okay then," he chalked two tablets with different sets of runes. "This one is to go to his side, but there might be some side effects. The other one is to return home, but it might not work. But don't worry; England can still use magic from there. I checked,"

The figure picked up the tablets. "I just press this, right?"

"No, wait-"

FOOM! And the person was gone.

[1] It's a port city in Sweden.

[2] Latvia's scars- in one strip, Lithuania's back is shown to be badly scarred. Since Latvia is the unluckiest of the Baltics, his should have been worse. The doctor mistakes the scars for the ones that came from falling out of the window.

[3] Latvia drinks a lot of alcohol, according to the wiki.

[4] The nations arguing over what country comes first is a language discrepancy. Since the alphabet for all of the nations vary, 'alphabetical order' can be very difficult…

[5] I can't explain this; I never learned it in school! I think that that's what happened…

Who knew that having them out of the universe would have such an impact? Who is that person at the end of the chapter? And what about Austria?


	26. Chapter 26

I have an update for China's pronunciation of Sealand. It is now 西 (xi) 蓝 (lan) 地 (de). According to Google translate, they mean west, blue, and ground respectively. Xi is pronounced like the English word 'she'. The reason for this change is because normally, when transliterating English into Chinese, only three characters are used. I used four in previous chapters.

The other day, I read this book called Good Omens, and in it, there was a fast food place. It said that all of the American places were alike, but the German ones had actual beer instead of root beer, and the English ones gave you lukewarm food after half an hour, and you couldn't tell the patty from the bun. The scout was gunned down in France. Hetalia made me get the joke much more easily.

Note- Canada is visible to 'the man' this chapter, because of a required plot device.

Ha! Didn't see this coming, did you? You thought that it was Prussia who Nami and Robin met, right? Well, here's who it is!

Chapter 26 (Nami POV)

This man… he looked just like the picture that Canada had. Yes, he wasn't sparkling, and he was wearing something else, but otherwise, he was exactly the same, down to the glasses. "Excuse me," he said.

"Oh, sorry," I moved instinctively. Wait a second, what was I doing?! "Hey, your name is Roderich, right?"

He blinked. "Ja, zat iz my name. How did you-"

"Canada told us," I said. He had an accent that was a lot like Germany's, and he even said 'ja', just like him.

"Can-uh-da? Who iz zat?" he asked. He even pronounced it like Germany.

"I'm right here!" Canada almost shouted. "I had to wash every single dish in the place so that I wouldn't have to spend all my money! The one time someone notices me…"

"Oh, zen you are Eng-"

"Nein! Ich werde später alles erklären, nur nicht seinen Namen sagen vor niemandem außer uns!" Canada said rapidly in some language that I couldn't understand. (A/N, German, No! I'll explain everything later; just don't say his name to anyone except for us!)

"…What did he just say?" I asked Robin.

"I don't know," she whispered back. "But there is one thing I want to know,"

Canada sighed. "Another one? Fine, but this would have to be the last one for tonight,"

"How did you clean all of the dishes in the time that it took for us to meet Roderich?"

Canada sighed. "You'd be surprised how much I have to clean Arthur's dishes whenever he tries to cook. His food's not exactly poisonous, but it's best not to leave traces of it on dishes that are going to have something good on them… [1]"

Roderich gave an angry noise. "So, he iz here? Do you mind explaining vhat happened?"

Canada complied, jabbering rapidly in that same unrecognizable language, which Roderich seemed to understand every word. "So," Roderich said at the end, "Arsur haz lost heez memory, iz zat right?" Canada nodded. "Ve are living vith zese people und zeir crew for right now; Deutschland, Amerika, Süd-Italien, Russland, und Japan haf been turned into children?"

"Ja- oui- I mean, yes," Canada said hurriedly. "The rest of us can explain it more in the inn,"

"Danke," Roderich said. (German for 'Thank You')

"The only question is who you're going to sleep with…"

Roderich seemed taken aback by the statement. "V-vhy vould you even sink zat?!"

"I think he means sleeping in the same room, or bed," Robin said.

"Oh," he said, relieved. "Italy vonce asked me to sleep vith me, zat iz probably vhat he meant,"

"He did?" Sanji said. "He did say something about sleeping with Germany,"

"He sleeps with everyone… and I don't mean that metaphorically!" Peter said.

… "How did you get here?" I asked.

"Come on, Russia's drinking his vodka, jerk-Arthur's drunk (again), both of the Italy brothers are sleeping and Spain's sleeping with them, and France is flat-out- never mind. Anyway, none of them would really notice me gone for a few minutes. Or you leaving in the middle of supper,"

Canada and Sanji went red. "Well, no one notices me," Canada whispered.

"Anyway, I think I recognize you…" Peter examined Roderich. "Hang on, you're-" he stopped midsentence, noticing us for the first time. "Well, at least jerk-Arthur's not cooking this time around! Come on, you might as well eat when everyone's drunk."

"I suppose so," Roderich said as he opened the door to the first floor of the inn, which happened to be the best restaurant in town. Exactly where the others were.

I caught a glimpse of Italy's shocked face before he bolted from the room, dragging Germany with him. Arthur and Spain looked at each other for a moment before sprinting after him.

"Warten Sie!" (German for 'Wait!') Roderich called after them, but none of them slowed down in the slightest. Why were they so afraid of him?

France stood up, blocking his way. "It 'as been a long time, 'asn't it, Roderich," he said airily. Despite his tone, both men were glaring daggers at one another.

"Ja," Roderich said with equal restrained fury.

"I don't know why they're like this," Peter whispered.

"They're just like Zoro and Sanji," Ussop ventured, faintly.

Both Zoro and Sanji nodded fervently. "That Marimo-head just-"

"The stupid chef-" Both of them broke off at the same time. "You…" I guess that I don't have to explain what happened next.

"They're usually less outwardly hostile…" Peter examined. "Maybe it's the coat and the uniform."

"What?" Robin caught his last word, but Peter seemed to notice.

"I'll go check up on jerk-Arthur," he scampered upstairs. Roderich followed, pushing past France only slightly.

"Hey, why'd they lock themselves in the bathroom?" Luffy asked. Before anyone could say anything, he slingshotted himself up the stairs and down the hall. I faintly heard a crash somewhere.

"Will he be okay?" asked Canada.

"No sweat, if he can take a hit from Russia, he can take that!" America said unconcernedly.

"Anyway," Robin and I vaulted upstairs after them. At the end of the hallway was the single-stall men's bathroom, where the guys waited day after day for the one in there to get out. Sometimes, they even went to the women's room when we weren't in there. Chopper and Sanji went whenever they wanted.

"Au-Austria? As long as you're fighting against France, I'll-"

"Hey! Jerk-Arthur! Are you alright in there?!" Peter yelled through the door.

"Goddamn it Peter! I was trying to remember something here!" Arthur shouted back. "And what was that crash?! Did you shoot the rocket launcher indoors again?! How many times do I have to tell you-"

"Um…" Luffy muttered awkwardly. "That was me…"

"Oh. Sorry, wrong bloke," Arthur said.

"ITALY! Put your clothes back on!" Germany yelled somewhere in there.

"Ve~ Sorry Germany! It's just that-" Italy said back. "Spain! Stop touching me!"

"¡Lo siento! (Sorry)" Spain shouted. "This stall is too crowded for four people!"

"Vhy vould zere be only vone stall een ze entire inn?!" Germany yelled. "I mean, ve haf to vait for tventy other men to even use ze sink!"

"I know!" Sanji ranted. "I need to wash these vegetables!"

"Forget that. I need to take a-"

"We don't need to know, Zoro!" I yelled.

"I can't even get in there without having someone open the door!" Romano yelled. "Odio questo piccolo corpo!" (I hate this small body!)

"Ha! I don't even have to use it!" Franky bragged. "I have a waste box! I just have to find a good place to dump it!"

"So you basically wear a diaper," Romano muttered. He must make a rude adult.

"Why you-"

"Don't you lay a hand on Romano…" Spain muttered menacingly.

"Says the guy hiding in the bathroom!"

"Italy vas ze vone who dragged me in here!"

"Ve~ I just needed a place to change!"

"I have a reason... I'll tell you when I remember!"

"He's my-!"

"Oi! Are you okay in there?!" Chopper yelled. "Yelling in such an enclosed space can damage your eardrums!"

Surprisingly, everyone shut up. "So what did you remember?" Robin asked.

"Not much," Arthur replied. "All I can remember was fighting alongside him a long time ago… because he was fighting France,"

"Iz zat all?!" Roderich demanded.

"No… you were also fighting Spain and a chap whose name sounded a lot like Russia… your brother, right, Germany?"

"Ja," Germany replied.

"Russia… Russia… I got it! His name was Prussia!"

"Just… don't mention ze fact zat heez name sounds like Russia. Eet annoys heem," Germany added.

"So… he's Gilbert?" asked Zoro.

"Ja," Germany replied. "He's my older bruder,"

"Und vhat happened next?" Roderich demanded.

"Let's see… your name is Austria…" Arthur recalled. "I can't remember my name or Kiku's or Yao's."

"But do you remember vhat happened?" Austria asked.

"You, er… surrendered your vital regions?" Arthur replied awkwardly.

"Ja. Vhat? I got zem back, of course," he said to those of us who had no idea what he was talking about.

"He took… your vital regions…?" Franky said uncomfortably.

"Ja," Germany finished. "Mein bruder stole zem,"

… "How is that even possible?!" Chopper yelled.

"Zat iz a story zat should be told later. So vhy are you hiding in zere, anyvay?"

There was a pause. "You know, I'm not entirely sure [2]. Now where's the lock?"

"¡No!" Spain yelled. There was a small scuffle.

"Now vhat iz it? Zis position iz very uncomfortable, und I vould like to get out of here uz soon uz possible," Germany said.

"I am not going out there!" Spain yelled back.

"Oi! What did I say about shouting in there?!" Chopper yelled.

"Sorry," Spain replied feebly.

"Iz it because of our marriage?" Austria said calmly.

… "You two are married?!" I yelled. "What about Elizabeta?!"

"How do you know about Elizabeta und-"

"Canada told us," Robin saved me.

"B-but- you're both men!" Ussop managed to blurt out.

Glub glub… that couldn't mean anything good… There was a sharp intake of breath, as if- "My head vas in ze toilet!"

"Ve~ don't forget about Tino and Berwald! They ran away together, and-"

"Italy! Vatch vhere you move your arms!" Germany yelled. "You're making evun less space in here!"

"Ve~ sorry!"

"It is a long story…" Spain said. "Now that that is over with, who wants- oh, wait, we are in a bathroom."

"Where the bloody hell is that lock?!"

"Ow! Zat vas my foot!"

"I found it!" Spain yelled, and there was a clicking sound.

"Good… where the bloody hell is that doorknob?!"

"Ve~ here it is!"

"It's not working! What did you do this time, Spain?"

"Sorry, I must 'ave pushed it the wrong way!"

"How iz zat even possible?!"

"Push it the other way!"

"I cannot find it! You are blocking the window! There is no light!"

"Iggy! I'm opening the door!" America shouted. He pulled the doorknob-

And the whole door was dragged off its hinges. All four men fell out like water gushing out of a broken dam. Italy was on top- was that that maid's dress he got arrested in? "Ve~ I'm sorry, Mr. Austria…" he said meekly.

Austria just stared. "V-vhy are you veering zat dress again?"

"Ve~… I'm sorry,"

"Zat iz okay. But, vhy…?"

"Ve… every time I see you, I suddenly get an urge to change into this…"

"Hey! Can't you get off of us?!" Arthur said irritably.

"Ve~ sorry!" Italy slid off Spain, Spain slid off of Arthur, and Arthur stood up and-

"Holy Roman Empire, vhat are you doing here?!"

Meanwhile…

Not too far from the inn, a solitary figure wandered. "Curses," it said. "Of all ze ages I could have been, I had to be zis vone,"

"Hey, you!" a snot-nosed boy yelled. The figure turned around. "Yes, you!"

"Vhat do you vant vith me?" the figure snarled.

"Haven't seen you around before," the boy sneered. "We should teach him who's boss, shouldn't we?"

A gang of rather large boys nodded. "So, will you surrender, and join the ranks of my gang?" the lead boy asked with fake chivalry.

The figure sighed. _No doubt he would make me his slave if I accepted_, it thought. _Well, time to kick them home to their __mütter__. After all, I've been doing this for more than a thousand years._

To be continued!

[1] England's food- to me, England's food isn't poisonous, unlike Bianchi's from _Katekyo Hitman Reborn_. He's just not a good chef. Italy, France, and the other food-is-important cultures can't eat his food, but those who don't really care (like America) can enjoy it to a reasonable extent. Canada is also capable of eating it, since he was ruled by Britain for centuries, but he doesn't like it. What Canada is saying is that it wouldn't be a good idea to have traces of Iggy's food where good food would be served.

[2] Iggy not knowing why he locked himself in the bathroom- I looked up The War of Austrian Succession online and it turns out that Britain never seemed to abandon Austria in the first place. But I might be mistaken. I never studied this.

What did Austria mean? Who is that figure who I never specified the gender? And when will Italy stop crossdressing? Find out soon! Except for that last bit…


	27. Chapter 27

Note- You may have noticed that the four POVs I use are Nami, Robin, Iggy, and Sealand, not counting John. When it's from Nami and Robin's perspective, they can't understand what people say in other languages, so I put the translation in parenthesis. Iggy knows what they're saying but he doesn't know why, and he can't identify the language. However, he understands as well as a native speaker. Sealand can identify and understand all languages, but he's only as good as, say, someone who studied it for one year and knows all the vocabulary. At that point, there are a million things that one sentence could mean, you only understand half of what the other person is saying, and you have to really focus.

This chapter, non-English languages are in _Italics_.

So, who do you think is the mysterious figure? Actually, in every story with a mysterious figure, it's either the main antagonist or a girl. And since there are so few girls in Hetalia, and so few would be willing to go so far for the guys who vanished, it can only be one of a few girls.

Chapter 27 (Figure POV) 

The kid closest to me stepped up and the kids behind him stepped back. So it was going to be one-on-one, until I pass out from exhaustion? No, they're just too inexperienced to really fight together. Much easier to circle around and let others fight, and have a perfectly reasonable excuse not to go in.

"Hey, you! Keep your eyes open!" the kid yelled. I punched him in the face.

The next kid dragged the other one off, and passed him to the crowd. "Ha! Jimmy isn't as strong as I am!"

I stood up to my full height- not that impressive when you're eleven and haven't hit puberty yet, but still enough to make some of them fade in comparison. "So this is your plan? To throw the weakest ones at me until one of them can beat me?!"

All of the kids stared, probably thinking, "He's got a point," and, "Why are we doing this again?"

"Ha! That was my plan all along!" The leader boasted.

"What, t' get us pounded?" one of the smaller kids protested.

"N- Your sacrifices will not be in vain!" the leader said quickly.

"Why don't we just send out Little Willy? He's right there!" another kid suggested.

"Yeah, why can't we?" another kid shouted.

"Come on, he's better than all the rest of us, why don't you give him a shot?"

Before long, all of the kids were ranting about someone named Little Willy. At last, the leader relented, and called, "Little Willy! It's your turn!"

A teenage boy with a baby-face stepped up. "I'm Little Willy, and I will be your opponent!"

"And why should I be intimidated?" I asked. He was only twenty centimeters taller than I was, and while that made a difference, it was no more than me and Russia [1].

"Because I'm bigger than you!" Willy bragged. "I'm the biggest twelve-year-old in the town!"

"What about that silver-haired kid with the creepy smile?" another kid, not as small as the others, said.

"The one hanging around with the pirates?"

"Yeah, he looked like he was taller than you,"

"I tried to steal his scarf, but he…" the kid who said that had bruises and bandages all over her.

"What?!" I shouted. "Where did you see him last?!"

"C-calm down," she said. "I saw him-"

"Hey, why are you telling our enemy information?!" the leader yelled.

I sighed. This was getting annoying. "If I beat this Little Willy, will you tell me where this guy is?" I asked.

"Ha! She's never gonna t-"

I broke his nose. "Yeah?! So who wants a piece of me?!" I screamed.

Before long, all of the kids were either on the ground, or ran crying off to their mothers. Can't say I blame them. The girl who knew where Russia was lay unconscious on the ground. Oh well. I'll try again later.

I picked her off the ground and slung her around my shoulder. There's no time like the one you make yourself.

Meanwhile… (Sealand POV)

Holy Roman Empire?! I thought that that's who the other nations swore by because of his name, and Italy's childhood love! No… it has to be just Austria swearing… Germany couldn't be… No. Prussia's still alive as East Germany, and there's a North and South Italy.

"Vhat?! Vhat are you talking about? I um Germany, not-!" Germany protested.

Romano smacked Germany as hard as he could to get him to shut up. "Shut up!" he yelled. "_Don't say it in English_!" he shouted in Italian. "_Let's talk about it later_!"

"Ja, ja, I know," Germany said.

Austria gave him an "I'll talk to you later," glance, and went back downstairs.

"Oi, where are you going?" asked Luffy.

"To eat," Austria explained. "I did not eat for days, so I um very hungry,"

"Oh. Well, I'm starving, too!"

"You just ate!" Nami yelled, slapping the back of Luffy's head.

"S-sowwy," he apologized through broken teeth.

"Good." Nami said firmly.

"So, what's with the dress?" Sanji asked Italy. "It's one thing to look like a woman, but another to dress like one,"

"Yeah! And how did you put it on in the bathroom, anyway?" asked Ussop.

"Ve~…It's a long story…" Italy said nervously.

Russia stood up. "Now, now, don't tease him,"

"Russia-san…" Japan said, disbelief vaguely crossing his face.

"After all, he will become one with-"

America slapped him before he could finish his sentence. "Shut up, you commie!"

"You vant to fight, da?" Russia's water pipe appeared in his hand. "Capitalist pig?"

"You bet I am, Commie!" America spat out the last word. He leapt at Russia, and received a blow from his pipe in retaliation. Instead of falling, America grabbed the pipe and swung it with Russia still holding on.

"Zey do zis too often for us to worry," France said.

"Wow… That America guy is stronger than I thought…" Luffy said, impressed. "My spleen nearly fell out when I fought with Russia,"

"Ja, ze last time I fought him, I lost," Germany said.

"Who, America or Russia?" asked Zoro.

"Both of zem," Germany replied.

"What? You fought them?" Robin asked. She was prying a bit too much. But then again, she was pretty loyal to jerk-England, so I guess that it's for a good reason. But I'm not so sure about that other girl…

"Ja," Germany got up quickly. "I um going to sleep. Gute Nacht" He went into our room. Austria followed, presumably to talk some more.

"Ve~ I missed my siesta because of the fight!" Italy followed him.

"Don't you go in just because Potato Jerk went in!" Romano chased his brother.

Spain yawned. "¡_Buenas noches_," he said, and followed suit. (Spanish for Good night)

Well, it was getting quite dark outside, so I might as well turn in. "Well, good night everyone!"

Once I got in, I locked the door. As I suspected, Germany and Austria were both rapidly speaking German, which I could guess was about Germany being the Holy Roman Empire. It was a good thing that Romano stopped Germany from saying that he wasn't the Holy Roman Empire in time. Even if the history was different here, and we could use our country names here, calling someone an empire would be a dead giveaway, or at least really suspicious. Sealand was one thing, but someone with 'Empire' in his name would raise some questions.

"So, what have you got now?" I asked.

Italy nudged me. He was still wearing the dress. "Ve," he whispered nervously, "I don't think that you should interrupt them,"

Huh? Italy was never this nervous around Germany…. So Italy never got over his occupation by Austria, then. Well, it's not like I can blame him. Being forced to clean and wear dresses when you're five must be traumatizing…

But it's not much different from what jerk-England did to me. Even now, his first words to me were etched in my memory.

"So, zat iz vhat happened?" asked Austria, jolting me from my memories.

"Ja, I can only remember vhen I vas established as Deuchland, und nothing more,"

"Vhat do you sink, Spanien?"

Spain shook his head. "_I don't know. The Holy Roman Empire wasn't like we are now_," he said in Spanish. "_It was a collection of nations and territories, with HRE at the core. HRE could have been one of the states, but he represented the Union, like America and his states_,"

"_What about jerk-Arthur? He's part of the UK, but he's also the UK_," I said in German, just to be sure.

"True…" Austria thought. "Vhat do you sink, Romano?"

Romano scowled. "_If the Holy Roman Empire was a state, then which one would he be? How many countries have been parts of the HRE before becoming independent_?" he said in Italian.

"Ve~, there's Liechtenstein-"

"Shut up!" Romano snapped. "That was a rhetorical question!"

"Ve~~~…." Italy trembled a little. "_But she's the last remaining part of the HRE, isn't she_?"

"True…" Germany thought on this.

"But Germany vas vhere ze HRE vas centralized, ja?" Austria asked.

"I cannot remember," Germany said firmly.

"_Maybe that's because of all the territory and name changes you've been through, if you really were the HRE_." I said. "_The HRE was a union nation, right? But maybe, when he dissolved, he became one of the states that formed as a result. The way I see it, there are two kinds of union nations. Jerk-England was England before the UK, but America was always America, not any of his states. If the UK dissolved, then jerk-England would go back to being only England. But if America dissolved, more nations may be born, but he'd still be there_._ He might end up representing what's left of him._ [2]"

"_So you think that when the HRE disbanded, he became one of the nations left_?" asked Romano.

"Nein." said Germany. "_The HRE was conquered by Napoleon, and was organized into a territory, which later became me over time_,"

"Ve~ _so you are the HRE after all_!"

"Nein," said Austria. "_Did you forget about Liechtenstein? She could be the HRE, too_,"

"_So it's a question of whether the HRE stayed with his land, or with his name_," Germany mused.

Spain straightened up. "Someone is eavesdropping!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

Here's what Sealand would have thought, if his train of thought was allowed to go on unhindered. This is canonical to the rest of the fic, but it was too long to put in the regular chapter. Enjoy!

_It was 1943; four years after the war had begun_ [3]_. Back then, I was known as HM Fort Roughs. I had been completed just last year, and I was awaiting deployment. _Fight the Axis… _Those were the thoughts of the factory workers who wrought my steel and poured and mixed my concrete. I could feel the pain of the Blitz from the steel… _

"_Hello," a battered young man stood before me. I wasn't even aware that I was sitting on the floor until then. I couldn't even remember being in that room at all. I knew I was thinking right now, but I couldn't remember thinking at all, just seeing and feeling thoughts of others. But now… I had a body similar to the shapes of the workers who made me, but smaller and less curved. _That's because I'm a boy, _my intuition told me. _Those workers were women._ Anything I wondered about, I knew automatically. "What is your name?" asked the young man. So cold, so distant…_

"_I am HM Fort Roughs," I said automatically. I had never spoken in my life. Life? I couldn't remember being born at all… _

_The man examined me for a moment. "You're different from the others," he said._

_I was silent. He did not ask me a question. I had no reason to answer. _

"_You are the only one who has gained a human form," he said. "None of your brothers have gained a consciousness. They are, and always will be, just a hunk of metal. But you…"_

If I had emotions back then, I would have shouted, "They're not hunks of metal! They're my brothers!" But I didn't. I saw no reason to.

_He examined me closer. "I have never heard of a fort becoming like us before. But still…" He sighed. "I can't talk to you for long. I have to leave for Germany soon. Listen, I want you to hop on your land- or body, as you might think of it as-, and stay there until you reach your location. Your mission is to…"_

That's what his first words to me were. But it didn't end there.

"_What is your name?" I did not feel, but I felt an impulse to take in something, anything, that was a part of this place. I would never return, I felt._

_The man paused. "So you don't know, then. I am the British Empire, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, England, and what you should call me, Arthur Kirkland."_

"_Do I… have a name?" I asked. I wanted him to give me one. This man… "Brother? Big brother?"_

_Sorrow filled his face, but I could see a glimmer of pride and happiness somewhere. "Okay," he said. "Your name is…"_

Peter. Peter Kirkland. I've kept that name ever since. After that, I hid on my former body- the fort- and remained there ever since. Being personified was like having a part of me cut out, like an arm or a leg- and hung in my house, knowing that I could never reattach it to my body, ever. Or leaving the home that you lived in for your whole life- and never find it again, no matter how hard you searched. The other nations and mirconations never felt anything like that, no, they just woke up in a field or something.

But there were some things that I could do now that I was personified. The first and most important was that I was now practically immortal, and felt anything that happened to my land.. The second was that, like the other nations, as long as I was on my land, I could teleport anywhere on my land during peacetime. Handy, if you were a nation like England or Italy, and really useful if you're big like Russia. But it was a useless skill when you could walk anywhere in a few minutes on my land. The third was the ability to read the minds of my citizens, to an extent. But the last skill was one that only I had, out of all the nations and mirconations in the world.

TO BE CONTINUED! (In the regular chapter next time)

Oh yeah, one more of Sealand's lines that I couldn't fit in- "There were so many women who made me that I was surprised that I didn't turn out female,"

During WW2, because many of the men were drafted into the army, women worked in factories and took over their husband's jobs, an unprecedented idea at the time.

[1] Height difference between Russia and the figure- Russia is more than 20 cm taller than the figure. I looked it up. Little Willy is a reference to Little John from the legends of Robin Hood. He was really big, but his real name was John Little. When he joined the Band of Merry Men, one of them nicknamed him Little John as a joke.

[2] Everything about the HRE- Wikipedia sourced, but Liechtenstein being the last part of the HRE was from Hetalia Wiki.

Since I never formally learned about the HRE's history, I might be inaccurate.

Sealand talking about the two kinds of Union nations- One kind, like England, was a state in the Union before becoming part of it. America was always the Union, but the reason that he was stable for so long was because most of the states were basically counties, districts, prefectures, provinces, call them what you will, rather than actual sovereign states.

[3] WW2's starting date- I got it off of Wikipedia. Just like everything else.

Who is the HRE? Who is eavesdropping? What is Sealand's special power? And when will Iggy finally remember something?


	28. Chapter 28

Note- Russia and America's constant fights have little historical significance. It's not really that important, but the reason that they fight is because of all of the steam built up during the Cold War, when they couldn't touch one another without a full-out nuclear war. But now, the year is 1994, the Cold War has been over for years, so they can swing at each other as much as they want without a war.

Come to think of it, Sealand is probably exempt from the 'Only tell your boss that you're a nation' rule. His land is too small to really keep a secret like that. With say, America, seeing him in America would make you think that he's just another guy, but in Sealand, everyone knows each other, so one extra person would really stand out.

Maybe this chapter you might get a glimpse of the girl's identity. Who is she? What does she want? And why did she ask Norway of all people? Find out this chapter! Maybe.

Also- I'm dropping hints to which nation she is. If you find at least two of them, PM me, and I'll tell you what will happen to her next!

Chapter 28 (Robin POV)

Nami yawned. "I'm tired… I'm going to bed now,"

She went into our room.

Luffy yawned.

"Tired?" asked Zoro. "What exactly did you do today…?"

SPLAT! Luffy fell face-flat on the ground.

"Waaah!" Ussop cried. "What's wrong with him?!"

"Something like that must be a problem," Sanji muttered. "Chopper! What's going on?!"

Chopper shook his head.

"What's wrong?!" Sanji repeated.

"N-nothing's wrong!" Chopper trembled. He let out a sigh. "It's a good sign that he's falling asleep. Luffy needs to recover. He's still recovering from his spleen injury…" he gave an accusing glance at Russia.

"Vhat, it vas a fight, да?" Russia smiled. I saw his picture, and he doesn't look any less creepy as an adult.

Chopper trembled more than ever. "I-I'm n-not sc-scared of y-you," he said.

"Oh, shut up, you commie," America glared at Russia, raring for a fight.

"You vant to fight, да?" the pipe was out in a flash.

"Hell yeah!" America yelled, fists held up.

"Capitalist pig-dog," Russia said quietly- because muttering wasn't something that suited him.

"All right, that's it, Soviet commie!" America lunged, and caught Russia full on in the face.

"Aiyah, why do they have to do this e'ery time?" Yao complained. He turned to us, those of us who weren't yet used to their constant brawls, and held out a bowl of rice. "You want/don't want rice [1]?"

"Sure… actually, I'm a little tired from everything that happened today. Just apologizing to the police was pretty stressful…" I said, but I gave a look to the others that meant that I was following Nami.

"Good night, then," Zoro said.

"Good night," I said back. I marched down the hall silently, straining my ears to hear what they were saying in the room next to ours. I could hardly understand a word they were saying, but they were discussing something soberly. Even Italy sounded fretful.

When I got in my room, Nami was sitting on her bed in her pajamas, ear pushed to the wall. She made a few quick gestures which I took to mean, "Be quiet," without actually looking at me.

I changed into my pajamas and climbed onto my own bed, next to Nami's, and listened at the same wall. Nothing they said made sense to my ears, whatever language- or languages- they were speaking, it wasn't one that I understood.

Finally, I heard the sound of cheap boots hitting wood. "Someone is eavesdropping!" Spain shouted.

Nami and I exchanged glances. "This is bad," she seemed to say.

I hastily pulled the covers over me, and heard Nami do the same. The door creaked open a crack, but no one came in.

"…Come on, they're the only one next to us, we're at the end of the hall," Peter said urgently.

"Ja, ja, but none of us heard zem move zis whole time," Germany said.

I heard the clunking of cheap boots and the sound of someone opening a window. There was another dull sound. "They might be outside," Spain said.

There was a noise like a cheap boot stomping on a windowsill. So he's jumping out the window…

THUNK!

CRASH! Tinkle.

Frantic footsteps filled the hall. "T-tomato jerk!" Romano shouted, panicking. "Hold on, I'll come help you!" Footsteps pounded the floor, and the door opened and slammed shut. "Spagna! "You had better be okay, you jerk!"

"Ugh…" Spain groaned. "R-Romano…"

"Spain!" Romano shouted, relieved that he was alive.

"R-Romano…"

"Don't talk; I'll carry you back up!"

I wondered how he was going to carry him with a five-year-old body, so I used my Hana-Hana power to get a better look. Extra eyes appeared on the outside walls of the inn.

Romano was sitting at Spain's side, eyes closed under the strain of the effort of lifting him up.

"R-Romano…" Spain put his hand to Romano's face.

"Sh-shut up, you jerk! We have to get you to-"

"Your cheeks are so soft…" Spain sighed.

There was an angry pause. "V-voi…" Romano's voice was full of barely restrained fury. "Idiota!" (Voi means you, Idiota means idiot in Italian.)

Romano hopped onto Spain's back and jumped up and down on it.

"Guh-" Spain coughed up blood. "Eh- uh- agh-" he sputtered.

That was it, enough waiting. I stood up, and got out of bed. "He's injured, and he has this weird disease. I'm not going to hit a child, but this is another matter entirely." I jumped out the window.

"W-wait!" Nami cried, but it was too late.

I landed on my feet; thankful that the drop from our window was less than the one Spain fell out of. "What was that noise?" I asked.

"Stupido jerk hit his head on the windowsill," Romano explained, still crushing him.

I sighed. "You know, he'd recover much more easily if you'd just stop doing that,"

"Okay," he said quickly, and landed on the ground instead of Spain's head. ("My vital regions…" Spain moaned.)

"He cannot refuse a voman," Austria said.

"(H-h)'ow did you g-get 'ere?!" Spain yelped.

"Ze front door, how else?" Austria said simply.

Luffy came bounding out of the inn. "Oi! Is it true that you were married?!" he shouted.

Instantly, Spain tensed up.

Nami followed him and shouted, "Don't ask such a personal question!" She smacked him hard on the head. "Just look at him!"

"M-Me arrastró hasta el altar y me obligaron a casarme con él!" he blurted out in an unrecognizable language.

"Eh? What was that?" asked Luffy.

"I-I said, he dragged me to the altar and forced me to marry him!" Spain said fearfully.

"Really?" Luffy asked way too calmly.

"Luffy!" Nami scolded. "That's worse than you probably think it is!"

"Ja," Austria said simply. "Vhat? Mein boss made me,"

"Your boss made you marry another man." Nami said. "Why?"

The three of them exchanged nervous glances. "Well…" Spain began.

"You see…." Romano fidgeted. His hands were whipping around like some sort of sign language that I could barely understand.

"Ze reason eez-"

"WHAT THE- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THIS EARLIER?!" Ussop yelled from inside the inn.

We all looked at one another, and decided that this was a good time to go in.

"ごめんなさい, I am sorry," Kiku said when we went in. "I did not know sat you did not know,"

"Well, it's bloody obvious that we didn't," Cap'n said angrily.

"Well, I wanted you to remember!" Canada yelled with a muffled voice.

"You're the occult expert!" Peter shouted.

"Ve…" Italy and Romano hugged each other and trembled. I had a sudden vision of both of them at the same age and height doing the exact same thing, except perfectly in sync. And a peninsula that looked like a boot. Or a hockey stick [2].

"Why would I tell you, mon ennemi?" France said maliciously. (French for 'my enemy')

"Ve! Ve! Ve~!" Both Italy and Romano seemed to lose the ability to speak, and were making complicated gestures with their arms. If they were twins again, and were dancing, they'd have beaten Mr. 2. But for some reason, when they did this, Romano seemed less like a child, and more like an adult…

"I forgot," Germany stated.

"I aporogize," Kiku bowed deeply.

"Aiyah, I did not know either, do not retaliate on us," Yao complained, probably soured by the fact that Cap'n didn't remember his name.

"I aporogize," Kiku repeated.

"Ve! Ve! Ve~~~… Ve!"

"Dude! You mean you didn't know?!" America shouted, genuinely surprised.

"It vas your fault, да?" Russia kept on smiling serenely, unabashed by the other's antics.

"I aporogize," Kiku bowed deeper, until he was groveling on the ground.

"Ve! Ve~~~~~~. Veveve!"

"How should I know? I yust got here!" Austria ranted. (There doesn't seem to be a 'j' as we know it in German)

"Ve! Ve! Ve!"

"Shut up, Italien!" Austria snapped.

"Ve…" Miraculously, Italy stopped moving his arms, breaking the illusion that Romano was at his full size again. He was still clad in full maid's dress, complete with head rag.

"'ey, now you know, right?" Spain said serenely, not taking in the atmosphere. The past few weeks left me to conclude that unlike Russia, who brought his intimidating aura with him wherever he went, Spain was just insensitive. Not to imply that it was that bad, he was like Luffy.

"I aporogize," Kiku said to each of us in turn.

"I-It's okay," said Nami nervously. She probably never had someone apologize to her like that. "But what was it that you didn't tell us?"

"Ja, vhat did you say, anuyvay?" Austria repeated.

Kiku blinked. "Oh, you were outside. You did not hear?"

Romano sulked. "Of course we did not, Nikujaga jerk!"

Kiku hung his head. "In sat case, sis is what happened…"

Meanwhile… (Figure POV)

I carried the girl who knew where Russia was to the forest, where I planned on staying for the night. I had no money, when I tried to buy food, the storekeeper laughed at my forints, euros, yen, and every other kind of money I had. Personally, I preferred plains and open land to forests, but I had a few woods here and there in my land. Anyway, the forest had more cover, and shelter from the rain.

"Ugh…" the girl stirred. She opened her eyes just a crack, and closed them just as quickly.

"You are avake?" I asked.

She didn't reply. Still pretending to be asleep, eh? "Vake up!" I snapped.

Unable to feign unconsciousness any longer, the girl sat up slowly, her left hand to her belt.

"And take your hands off dat veapon!" I snapped again.

"H-h…" she trailed off.

"Vhat?" I demanded. She flinched. For a fleeting instant, she reminded me of Italy when he was a child under Mr. Austria… I was filled with shame. I had allowed my obsession with finding _him_ cloud my heart. "I… I am sorry," I said in a gentler tone.

At the sound of an apology, the girl's eyes widened. She dropped her weapon- a knife, not out of fear, but mainly surprise. "Wh-who…?"

"Am I?" I finished. "My name is… not important. Vhat I vant to know is vhere dis man is," I showed her a picture of him, sitting with me the others who were at that meeting.

She shook her head. "Why would I do that? You beat me up and kidnapped me!" she said with more spunk than she had in front of her leader.

She had a point. I got up. She flinched, but I continued. "Den I have no reason to stay here," I said, and began to walk away.

"Wait!" she called.

I turned around. "Vhat is it?"

"Th-the man you were looking for…" she trembled, kind of like the Baltics.

"Igen?" I asked, waiting for a response.

"I-I wasn't planning on telling you, b-but since you didn't hit me like Kay did… Oh no!" she panicked. "I wasn't supposed to say that! If Kay ever finds out…" she turned to me, a desperate look in her eyes. "Please, I'm begging you, don't tell anyone that I said that!" she was on the verge of tears.

"I von't." I promised firmly, like an older sister. "Cawm down. Vhy are you so afraid of dem?"

She stopped sobbing, but hiccups still marred her speech. "K-Kay's a b-boy, and Muh-Mister Smith s-says th-th-that girls c-can't be as strong as boys… so…" she sobbed harder. "I have t-to b-be his s-slave because I'm smaller and wuh-weaker than him…"

I shook my head. "Dat has nosing to do vith it."

"Wh-what?" she looked past her tears.

"Yes, girls are smaller dan boys, but dat does not make a difference! Men and vomen are de same, it does not matter vhat gender you are, if you vant to be stonger dan dem, train to become stronger! Train harder dan dem, and you vill become stronger!" I rose dramatically while I spoke. "Of course, you must know how to fight before you train. Is dere a dojo anyvhere?" I asked as an afterthought.

"Y-yes," she said, slightly jaded from my rousing feminist speech.

"Go dere, and learn vhat you can."

"B-but they-"

"Do not say dat dey do not allow girls! Vatch what zey do, nosing can stop you if you really vant to be stronger!" [3]

She looked at me with a new light. "Th-thank you. By the way, this is where I saw the silver haired kid…"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] China saying, "You want/don't want rice,"- I'm serious, literally translated, that's a valid sentence in Chinese. I added the slash mark so that it would make more sense. Another translation would be, "Do you or do you not want rice."

[2] Robin's vision of a peninsula that looks like a boot or a hockey stick- That's Italy. I might get this mixed up with New Zealand, but everyone says that Italy looks like a boot. Well, New Zealand does, too. I thought that Italy looked more like a hockey stick.

[3] Stereotypical Chinese marital art movie reference. All dojos have a conveniently placed window located right in front of the trainees. That, or a servant boy learns.

What is the thing that Japan revealed? Who is that mysterious girl? And when will I get better insults between Russia and America?


	29. Chapter 29

Right now, I'm alternating between my other active fic, 'So why do we have a firebender on our team again?' so I now if I update this one, the next update will be that one. Check it out; it's an Avatar/Hetalia crossover with no OCs. As a general rule, I don't allow OCs. John, Mary, and the police was a one-time thing.

Did you know that in Chinese, the first character for Tomato is also the first character for Spain? Spain is 西班牙 (Xībānyá, pronounced she-bahn-yah), tomato is 西紅柿, (Xīhóngshì). Foreign fruits and vegetables in Chinese tend to have their own names based on what they are (Tomato is West, Red, Persimmon. Watermelon is West Melon), while countries tend to be pronounced close to what they would normally be pronounced in the major language in that country, (Canada is Jia-na-da, England is ying guo, etc.).

Does anyone know who the figure is?

Chapter 29 (figure POV)

"So dis eez de place vhere Oroszország vas," I said. A small inn was spread before me. The girl had given me specific instructions for where I should go. _It's next to a strudel stand, it only has pear and apple, you can't miss it_, she had said. Strudel… it reminded me of him… the one I was looking for.

"Hey! You there!" someone yelled at me from behind. "Yeah you, with the long hair!"

"Vhat do you vant," I snarled back. He was wearing a sailor uniform, like that kid Sealand, except on a buff, fully-grown man.

"I want you to get out of the way, kid!" he shouted back, not intimidated by my twelve-year-old body.

I glanced around him, and an entire squadron of people was behind him. "Fine," I muttered, and left. I could always get a strudel. As I left, I saw a pair of them holding hands… could they be…? Just in case, I snapped a picture with a camera- the kind that prints pictures instantly- and scribbled, "**Investigating**, **possibly**," in my language.

"So, you got the money for this, kid?" asked the strudel-seller. "Pear or-"

"Never mind, I am going after dem," I said. "But I vould like a pear,"

He gave me a look of pure terror. "B-but th-they're Marines! They-they'll-"

"You have never seen vhat I have seen, den," I retorted, grabbed a pear strudel, handed him some Berries I stole from the bookshop, and slid off the stool. Most of them looked like pushovers compared to my former army, or even… that idióta, Poroszország. I snuck along the path to the inn, taking care not to be seen. The Marines did not spot me, because I hid behind several crates and barrels lined the path. Not very good for fighters, but they were off-duty.

I spotted a back door, and entered. The rafters looked sturdy, so I dashed up there once the coast was clear. "**This is too easy**," I said in my language. After they finish eating, all I had to do was find out which bedroom they would be in, and then… No! I must not get ahead of myself! I bit the pear strudel the seller gave to me, and almost retched. Avocado? He said it was pear!

**MEANWHILE…**

"Joey, was it really a good idea to put avocado in the pastry?" asked the store manager.

"You said to put pear in it!" [1], replied the storekeeper/cook.

"This is pear!" the manager said, holding up a… pear. "This is avocado!"

"Oh…" the storekeeper/cook said. "Well, in my region, they're both called pear!"

"And why do we have a sign for strudel, anyway? This isn't a strudel store, it's a crepe store!"

"It isn't? What's the difference?"

"There are a _host_ of differences."

"Oh, yeah, so it's my fault you never told me?"

He sighed. "Where did you get the sign, anyway?"

"I borrowed the sign from the strudel store. You know, the one next to the other inn, where there's a kid with silver hair?"

**BACK TO _**

The Marines finished their dinner (that avocado strudel wasn't that bad, and it filled me up), and rooms were assigned. "Alright, here are the plans," a large man with three cigars in his mouth said. "There are plenty of rooms here, but you're going to have to pair up with someone else. And no one pairs up with Tashigi!" he shouted, glaring at his subordinates. "She's the only female here, and I am not going to let anyone in her room!"

I got a glimpse of a girl- or woman, but still younger than my physical age- who was, kind of pretty. All of the men were visually disappointed… no, wait! It was those two who were holding hands! They weren't disappointed at all!

I took another picture, let it develop, and circled them both.

"All right, it would take too long for me to assign sleep teams, so for now, pick your partner. Don't you dare come into room number 6! Dismissed!"

As soon as he went into his room, the Marines instantly began scrambling for partners. As I expected, the pair chose one another, and went into a room. All of the rooms had a window, right? So all I had to do was count the number of doors down they were (two), add it to the number of windows I could see (four), sneak out, climb the windows, and hang on there until I took enough pictures. I crawled, on my hands and knees, across the rafters, towards to the back door.

_Creak_… The rafters bent before my- Curses! I slipped! Who put oil on here, anyway? Anyway, I only had about a meter-

_CREAK_… Uh-oh. My foot was right on a- _CRASH! CRINKLE! FWAP!_ "Ugh!" I fell! As I stood up, I examined my surroundings. I had fallen onto a cabinet full of valuable china, leaving only wreckage behind. Everyone in the room stared at me.

"My cabbages!" screamed the owner. "No, hold on, that came out wrong. My plates!"

_Shing_. Someone had drawn a blade. "Who are you?!" demanded Tashigi. That was a nice sword she had… it reminded me of Japan's katana.

Could I escape? I could; I was only a meter from the back door, after all. But then, they'd chase me for days, and that would put a wrench in my search. What would Mr. Ausztria do? Leave in a dignified manner, and put in a snide remark that made them feel guilty. Németország? Not sure, but he'd probably try to keep out of their clutches for as long as possible, and never talk at all when they capture him. Olaszország? Ah… I really wanted to see him, my little brother… He'd surrender, or run away. Japán? I never knew what he was thinking, but he wouldn't run away. Poroszország…? Wait, why am I even thinking about him? He would yell, "I won't be captured by unawesome people like you," and fight and fight and fight… not an option. Plus, even if I was still as strong as I normally was without being turned into a twelve-year-old, it still wasn't that easy to either evade or fight them all without my army [2]. Right now, Olaszország's course of action was the best option. I put my hands up in the air, and said, "I surrender."

The Marines relaxed, but the girl with the sword held it higher. "What were you doing here? If you had just left, I wouldn't have to ask. And why are you surrendering, anyway?"

She was right… That was a bad idea… "I apologize. Is dat enough?"

She shook her head. "First, you broke the entire plate collection of the inn owner and you have to pay for it, and second, what were you doing up there, anyway?"

"It is none ov your business vhat I vas doing," I said, and then corrected myself. "I mean, vhat I vas doing is none of your business."

Unfortunately, the pictures that I took fluttered right next to her, and she picked them up. "I can't read a word of this… Why did you circle Drew and Tom?"

"**I thought they made a cute couple**…" I said in my language.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"Well, I'm going to have to talk to Commodore Smoker," she said.

"Vhy? About vhat?"

"In this town, there's no Marine base, so we have to stay at an inn where the security isn't as good."

"Hey!" yelled the manager.

"Sorry, but it's true!" she shouted back. "Anyway, it's illegal to take pictures of Marines off duty. And we have to pay for all that," she added in a whisper.

"Vell, vhy eez dere such a stupid law?" I retorted.

She shrugged. "I don't know either, but there has to be a good reason! It's not hurting anyone, is it?"

"Um, Miss Tashigi, it says that the penalty for doing this is… let me see… death by beating with overripe plums," said one of the Marine, his head in a law book.

Tashigi blanched. "L-let's not be hasty here…"

"So, may I please go now?" I asked.

"But there's gotta be a reason for a rule like that," someone said. "Besides, look at what he did!"

"He's only a kid! There's no way we're going to do anything like that!"

There were more murmurs and protests. Finally, someone else said, "Why don't we make the kid work, or somethin'? That way he can work off the debt!"

"Yeah, it'll be much easier that way."

Tashigi gave it some thought. "Fine. But I'll have to run it by Commodore Smoker first."

"Commodore vhat?" I asked.

"Smoker," the Marine with the law book corrected me. "It's not a nickname. That's his real name."

"Vell, vhat kind of a name eeiz dat?"

"Hey, what's going on?" a deeper voice called. The man in charge… no wonder he was caller Smoker. Three cigars… now that we knew how bad smoking was, I was surprised that he didn't drop dead of lung cancer years ago (No offense to those of you who are afflicted with, or related to someone who has lung cancer.).

"Sir, this boy snuck in here and took pictures of us out of uniform, which is apparently illegal," Tashigi said formally. "Additionally, he… look," she waved a hand towards the shattered plates.

He gave me an appraising look [3]. "So, what's the problem here?"

"According to the handbook, the penalty for doing this is yadda yadda yadda… death."

He stood up, straight and tall. "We are not going to do that!" he said. "Don't think for a moment that we're going to kill someone for a crime this petty!"

"Ye-yeah…" some of them agreed quietly, but the more experienced-looking ones nodded.

"That's why Smith said that we should make his sentence lighter," Tashigi said.

"By de vay, I um steel here," I pointed out.

"Just- hold on for a second," the Marine closest to me said.

"You're lucky that you're not dead now," another mumbled.

"**Shut your mouth**," I muttered in my language.

"So that's your plan?" asked Smoker. "Making this kid work to make up for all the stuff he broke?"

"Well, it's actually Smith's, but that's what we want to do," Tashigi replied.

I stepped forward. "I apologize for vhat I have done. But I cannot pay for anyting."

"So will you work for us?" she asked.

"Igen, yes," I said. I did not want to work for them when I could search for _him_, but my honor was speaking. Stupid knight's code…

"Well, that's settles it," Smoker said. "What's your name?"

"My name is…"

**X**

"Japan," Cap'n said. "Japan, Nippon, that's your name!"

"Hai," Kiku- now Japan- said. "Sat is indeed my name."

"Aiyah, why am I the only one whose name you do not remember," Yao complained to himself, but I was paying more attention to Cap'n.

"Wh-why am I only remembering this now?" he wondered. "I remember that we were friends… so why did…?"

"Hey, so when are you going to tell us what you were talking about?" blurted out Nami.

Japan looked to one side. "I apologize. I had forgotten to tell you sat we are from anoser dimension."

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Pear and avocado- in some parts of the world, avocado is known as pear. Pear is also called pear.

[2] Fighting without army- remember the wars in Hetalia? During the War of American Independence (I'm sorry if I refer to it as the Revolutionary War, I am American), America had his troops behind him, right? During the War of Austrian Succession, Hungary beat up Prussian troops and brought her army, right? Spain had troops when he beat France, Spain brought his army to protect Austria; Austria conquered North Italy with his army behind him, etc…

In my canon, nation personifications are empowered by being within close proximity of their army. Therefore, when there really is a war, they bring their army, but when they argue and brawl, like France and England, nothing happens.

Another excuse- why the figure thought she was not strong enough when the other nations could fight the pirates easily: The physics in the One Piece world are different, so nations do not need armies alongside them to be at maximum strength. She did not know this.

[3] Smoker analyzing the figure- it would have been a bad idea for him to let her go off scot-free, so let's say that he doesn't see her as a child. That chapter was full of excuses…

Remember that little girl who he gave ice cream to? The figure is too mature-looking for him to consider innocent. (I mean, mentally mature, and not physically mature).

As a side note, I have nothing against homosexuals. I am American, and… fine, saying my political beliefs will only get me flames.

How will the others react to the nations being from an alternate dimension? When will China get recognition? And when will I get on with the plot, anyway?!


	30. Chapter 30

To Jazzcat 1231- In this fic, they speak English. Thanks for your suggestion. Read this, it's for everyone.

The reason why the nations avoid saying the names of their languages is because of one reason- Most of them are derived from the name of the country (like Italy and Italian). The people in the One Piece universe don't know about the nations, so they can use their country names, but it would be weird to have a name similar to your language.

They don't speak Japanese, because in the universes where I write in, unless specifically stated in either canon or by me, the main language is English. What enforces that here is the fact that they call their language English regardless of the fact that there's no England, and if they spoke Japanese, then they would call it that. But Japan's real name showed up last chapter, and it would be strange if he had a similar name to that of the main language.

Plus, if they were speaking Japanese, Japan would not have an accent.

Side note- I forgot to say this last chapter, but the reason why the figure said that the two Marines holding hands "Made a cute couple," was because it was the best way to phrase an otherwise very politically incorrect and offensive sentence.

Chapter 30 (Iggy POV)

"Another dimension?" Nami repeated.

"Hai," Japan said. "Sat is what I said."

"That's also the reason that Arthur didn't age for almost twenty years," Canada whispered to Nami and Robin. "Time moves differently where we're from, so-"

"That's cool, isn't it?!" Luffy grinned. "What's it like there?"

"Well, from what I can remember, there aren't any Devil Fruits, or fishmen, the world is completely mapped-"

"Really?!" Nami exclaimed. "Do you have one on you?!"

"Er…"

"I have vone, da?" Russia smiled, and drew a piece of paper from his coat. Nami stared at it in awe.

"And the climate is a bit more… normal…" I said. "There aren't any islands with their own individual mircroclimates."

"And that's normal?" Zoro added curiously.

"I think…"

Sanji clapped hands with France. "Then if you're from another dimension, we should exchange more recipes,"

"Oui, yes," they headed for the ship, Sealand… Sealand? Why did I think of Peter whenever I heard that name?

"And that's about it," I finished. I wanted to say more, but I had nothing left to say… except for that. "But I do remember Japan…"

Japan lowered his head about a centimeter. "I remember that we were friends a while ago," I continued, "but something happened, and we got into a fight. Sort of…" [1]

"Sort of?" asked Ussop. "How?"

"I can't recall," I concluded.

Peter yawned. "Can I go to bed now? I'm still really tired,"

"Yeah, unless anyone else wants to say something."

"PASTAA!"

"TOMATOES!"

"Zat eeiz enough," Germany said, and carried Italy back upstairs on his shoulder, which caused some stares from the people buying strudel next door.

Spain picked up Romano, and hurried up the steps without a word.

"So, vhere um I going to sleep?" asked Austria.

_Not my room,_ mouthed Spain.

"Dude, our room is the least crowded!" America shouted, which was true. "It's just me, Yao, Japan, France, and the commie!

"Ze commie?" asked Austria.

"Zat iz me, da," Russia smiled.

There was a tense moment where Austria and Russia glared at each other with such intensity that everyone in the room shuddered. [2]

"Vait," Germany bounded back down the stairs, "Ve could change how eez in ze rooms,"

"Yeah!" America shouted. "Come on Mattie, we haven't slept in the same bed since we were ten!"

"Why do you call him Mattie, anyway?" asked Chopper. "His name is Canada, right?"

"Yeah, but you can't really get anything from 'Canada'," America replied offhandedly. "But I got 'Iggy' from-"

"**Shut up**!" every one of the non-Straw Hats shouted in a different language, except for four of them. Austria and Germany shared a national language, and both of the Italy brothers were the same… where did that come from?

"Wait. So Iggy is derived from Cap'n's real name?"

"Uh-huh! One of them, at least. His _real_ real one," America said.

Now I was more confused than ever. For some reason, I accepted that I had multiple names, but logic said it was impossible.

"But if Canada sleeps with you, then Austria would sleep with…" I thought out loud.

Spain and Italy went rigid. "**Oh no**."

X

From what I could see, there were four rooms between all of us; one for the Straw Hats, two for the others, and one for Nami and Robin, for modesty's sake. I slept with the other Straw Hats, mainly because the others didn't want me to listen in on their conversations. Well, fine then. As if I wanted to listen to your bloody…

"Oi, Iggy! Why are you leaning against that wall?" asked Luffy.

"How many times have I told you not to call me Iggy?!" I snapped without thinking.

Everyone else in the room- Zoro, Ussop, Sanji, Chopper, and Franky- all turned to us. Wait a minute, did I just say…

"Never," Luffy replied shortly.

"S-sorry," I said. "I say that a lot to America…"

"That's no reason to snap at him," said Zoro dryly.

"But it really is easier than saying Arthur all the time," Luffy said nonchalantly.

"Bloody…" I started to mutter, but the next word came out as a blank. What was it…?

"So, do you know Russia's sisters?" asked Sanji immediately.

"Yeah," I paused for a moment. What was it about them that really made an impression on me? "His older sister, the one with the gigantic…" I made a cupping motion, "Her name's Yekaterina, though most people call her Katyusha. But her real name is Ukraine."

"Yes," Sanji was listening, but he was writing this down.

"She's really apologetic, and apologizes about the things that she can't help. She also-"

"Sanji!" Ussop scolded in place of Nami. "Why can't you stop flirting for one minute and-"

"No, wait," interrupted Chopper. "This might be a good mental exercise so that he can remember more. So what else do you know about her?"

I thought some more. "She's a farmer, and her… she gets back pains a lot, she's not really a fighter, but she can and will fight back if necessary."

"And what about his other sister?" asked Sanji.

What about her… Right. "Her name is Natalya, her real name is Belarus, and she's Russia's younger sister. She's also the only one, besides America, who he really fears."

"Why? She looked like a sweet young lady…"

Chopper, the one with the animalistic instincts, shuddered. "That wasn't a lady I saw… that was a wildcat…"

"She is _bloody_ mental," I said with total conviction for the first time since I lost my memory. "She wants to get married."

"Well," said Sanji with a smirk. "She can marry-"

"To Russia," I finished.

The rest of them stared at me like I was insane. "She also is incredibly strong-minded about it, to the point of violence. She carries around several knives so that she can threaten other people into telling her where Russia is whenever she can't find him." _Wait a minute_… "Like… now…"

Chopper was alarmed. "Y-you mean she's- we've got to save them!"

"Calm down, we can't help them if they're in an alternate dimension, right?" Ussop said nervously. Despite the fear in his statement, I had to admit that that was true.

"Oh." Chopper calmed down. "In that case, who is she most likely to threaten?"

I thought for a moment. "The other three in the picture. Russia's former subordinates. Their names were Toris, Eduard, and Ravis, from oldest to youngest. Toris is tallest, has brown hair about shoulder-length, he's an introvert, and mostly cares about his crops, even if he can fight if he has to. His real name is Lithuania. Eduard is blond, wears glasses, and he's the one who really pays attention to everything. He has an excellent memory [3]. His real name is Estonia. The third's name is Ravis, he's the one who looks like he's ten even though he's fifteen, the reason why he's so short id because Russia keeps on stunting his growth, he's the more unfortunate out of the Baltic States-" States?

Luffy stared at me. "Did you just say steaks? I'm starving!" he bolted downstairs.

"Hey!" Zoro yelled. "Don't just- agh, I'm coming with you!" he followed Luffy.

The remaining four watched them leave, and I asked, "Does this happen a lot?"

Ussop nodded. "Though it mostly happens with passing giant birds. Whenever Luffy sees one while we're sailing, he uses his Gomu-Gomu no Rocket to capture it so that Sanji can cook it."

"Really?" I could see him doing that. "So…"

"_How… I thought we were allies!" I shouted, but to no avail. Japan was steadfast. _Not again…

_**You betrayed us**__," he said, with anger and bitterness in his voice, unlike the serene tone he usually adopted. "__**You refused our pact. We walked away quietly, our alliance dissolved. There is no other way.**__"_

_I choked on a new patch of blood. "You will fall," I muttered. "You have angered one of the most powerful nations in the world." I hated to admit it, but it was true._

"_**You?**__" his steady anger did not change. "__**That was the reason we attacked. You have wronged us.**__"_

_I disregarded what he said "You really thought that you could bring him down by attacking? I know him, he's wild, quick to insult, and he's not going to take anything lying down. Knowing him, he wouldn't even be here if you hadn't bombed his harbor."_

"_**America?**__" he asked. "__**He is arrogant and power-hungry. He deserves to be taught a lesson."**_

"_Hah…" I panted. To my surprise, I was laughing. "I have two things to say about that. First, if anyone could teach him a lesson, it was me. I raised him, after all. And now, he's not going to listen to anyone, not even his own brothers. Second," _

_Japan lifted his rifle and shot me. It didn't hurt as much as the pain of my soldiers dying, but it would keep me from moving for a while. "You seem to be just as power hungry and arrogant as America is, Empire of Japan."_

_He regarded me with a gaze filled with quiet loathing. "__**We are warriors. He is a bully. You are a thief and a cheating merchant, **__British-"_ [4]

"IGGY!" Ussop shouted. "Are you okay?!"

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU, DON'T CALL ME IGGY!"

"He's okay," said Ussop.

"Huh," Zoro said, partially unimpressed. "Whatdaya know, it worked."

"OF course it did!" said Franky. "It was my-"

"CHIGI!" shouted Romano from the hallway. "W-what do you want?!"

X

"Oi!" shouted the nearest Marine, whose name was Jim. "Help me with this, will ya?"

"Igen!" I replied back. He could have said please, but I was in no position to correct him. I lost my status as 'big sister'. "Vhat do you need help vith?"

"We're going to set off in a day or two, so we've gotta stock up on supplies," he explained. "The others are out shopping, but first, we have to clear out everything on board. A kid like you wouldn't know, but a lot of guys in one small area tend to make it really junked up."

I knew all about that. I fought with a lot of other nations back before women were allowed to join armies, so I stayed with a lot of army men. It may not seem like neatness would be important in war, but it saved a lot of weight and space. "So, vhich ship iz yours?"

He shook his head. "We don't just have one ship. Look," he waved a hand to an entire fleet.

"You have dis many?" I said. I was a landlocked nation, so I wasn't as keen on ships as Olaszország or Japán.

"Yeah, so you'd better get cleaning- fast!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Japan and Iggy's relationship- remember that segment of the show about the Anglo-Japanese Alliance? Well, Japan petitioned for an equal rights bill after WW1, so they'd get equal representation regardless of race. But the Allies refused, which led to the dissolving of their Alliance.

[2] Austria and Russia glaring- Remember the WW1 explanation back a couple chapters ago? No, you probably don't. Russia and Austria got into an argument during a meeting, historically.

[3] Estonia's excellent memory is attributed to his skill in information technology.

[4] Japan and Iggy fighting- see above note. Iggy betraying Japan is the dissolving of the alliance. Japan bombing America's harbor was Pearl Harbor, which was a strike made to discourage America into joining WW2. Ironically, America was trying to maintain neutrality until that point. Japan did attack British territories, which is the fight in the background.

Japan describing himself, America, and England refers to historical values. Japan places a very high value in samurai, and admires warriors, which is why he refers to himself as a warrior.

America, on the other hand, used to belong to Native Americans. When Britain ruled it, after the French and Indian Wars (which was a part of the War of Austrian Succession), they made a pact with them so that they would not take any more land. After the War of American Independence, the pact was repeatedly broken. Plus, Florida was taken from Spain with a threat of war, and so much of American land today came from other countries. All of it belonged to the Native Americans.

Iggy is described as a thief and a cheating merchant because of the British Empire. A lot of land was stolen from other countries, but the cheating merchant part referred to the Opium Wars. I am biased in this, just so you know. China had tea. Britain did not have tea. Britain wanted tea. China had everything it needed. British merchants sold opium, a drug, to China to create a need. There were wars, Britain won, but the merchant part came from the method.

The reason why Japan was so OOC was for two reasons. The first was that it was during WW2. Naturally, he'd be more violent, maybe arrogant. The second is that Hetalia makes him too pure. This is my bias speaking, but Japan's depiction seems too good compared to what they did during WW2. Not that I don't like Japanese people, its Japan himself.

Japan's 'royal we' isn't a 'royal we', it's a humble 'we'. When he says we, he means him and the prefectures.

Iggy's incomplete thought about the Italy brothers was that they were the same nation, technically, so they shared the same language.

Who scared Romano? When will the figure clean out all those ships? And where the heck is Prussia?

"Bow down to me zombies, for I am awesome!"

Oh, wait, never mind.

Last chance to guess who the figure is! Unless I can't get her in, she's going to be revealed! (I think it's obvious. Then again, I'm the one writing.)


	31. Chapter 31

So, there's one fight left, and the one with Sealand and the Italy brothers. I have a poll, please respond! I need a majority!

All information either comes from Wikipedia or from my tiny knowledge of European history. Like I said, I am American. However, I do know some Euro history… which was swamped by a year of only American history.

The reason why Spain can see Canada is because of Florida. Florida is a state in the US that used to belong to Spain. I'm sure that anyone would want a map of the other surrounding territories if they owned some land. The same would go for Russia, since Russia had Alaska, and Alaska is right next to Canada.

Italy and Romano's sudden accent came from another accent guide.

Chapter 31 (Figure POV)

"Jim, I um done," I said. "All of de ships have been unloaded."

"Good, good," he said offhandedly. "You know, I wasn't actually serious when I asked you to clean out all the ships, but you did pretty well. I just wanted you to clean out that one."

If it weren't for the fact that I was obliged to work, I would have broken his nose. But there was nothing I could do. "Fine. Vhat else?"

"Actually…" he looked uncomfortable. "I calculated the rate at which you would be paid at minimum wage for minors, and it says that you have actually exceeded the amount that you owe. So you're done."

I looked at him in shock. Was I hearing him right? "Is dat true?" I asked.

"Yes, it is. You're free to go."

"T-tank you," I said. Now I could search for Ausztria without-

"STRAW HAT!" shouted Commodore Smoker. I turned around, and he was chasing a teenage boy with a straw hat eating a chicken leg.

"MMPH!" the kid was still eating while running, but managed to keep out of his way.

"That's Straw Hat Luffy, one of the most notorious pirates in the world," Jim explained. "Come on, we have to follow him!"

We chased him down the street, but Smoker was still ahead of us. The pirate was still out of his reach, though. Man, he was fast! "We've faced Straw Hat Luffy before, but we've never managed to catch him," Jim said while running. "We were stopped the first few times, but the last time, he saved the Commodore's life, so he let him go. But he promised that the next time he saw him, he'd do everything he could to arrest him."

"So you've faced him before?"

"Yeah, but- look, he has a new ship!" he pointed ahead, where Luffy jumped aboard a ship, and someone aboard threw something that exploded… wait a minute, was that… that kid who came to meetings…

"Peter?" I asked.

"Who?" Jim asked.

"Never mind," I said. After all, just because he's there doesn't mean-

"STRAW HA-"

"Shut up! I um tlying to read!" Was that…? It was!

Herr Ausztria's remark caught Smoker so off-balance that he fell into the ocean.

"That's our cue," Jim hurried towards the spot where he fell. "The commodore can't swim, so- why are you just staring at Straw Hat's ship?"

"N- It is not noting,"

"Okay…"

"Jim?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"I vant to join de Marines. As a cabin boy."

X (the night before) (Sealand POV)

Well, I can't exactly blame Japan for not telling them about us being from an alternate dimension. But there was one thing I was stuck on…

"**Spain**?" I asked in Russian. "**Was there ever a time where jerk-Arthur was gone? Around the time when he was a pirate**?"

Spain thought about it. "**Why are you asking me**?" he replied in Spanish. "**America and Canada are much closer to him, and France would know, too**."

"**You were his main target back then**." I replied. "**And France and the others aren't here."**

He thought for a moment. "**Well**-"

"**Stop speaking Russian**!" Austria ordered. Spain flinched, but regained his composure.

"Sorry," I said. "**Is Chinese okay**?"

He didn't say anything, so I continued speaking. "**What was that**?"

"**If I remember correctly**…" Spain thought. "**He was always busy doing something, especially after he sunk my ships**… [1]"

"**But what about before**?" I asked.

He thought some more. "**Do you remember Queen Elizabeth the first**?"

"Si**, she didn't want to marry your king or his son at all**," Romano said.

"**She never married, so she was known as the Virgin Queen, right**?" I asked. Spain nodded. "**And she was best known for ruling during the **Armada**, right**?"

Spain had a faraway look on his face. "**Ah… those were good days**…"

"**You lost**." Romano said bluntly.

"Ve**~ You didn't have to say it like that**," said Italy.

"**But what does that have to do with jerk-England**?" I asked.

"**What didn't happen**," Germany interrupted. "**Nations are more than just incarnations. We do more than just paperwork**."

"We have paperwork?" I asked.

"**You don't, since you're a micronation**," Romano spat.

"**Well, we can put it off when we have to, but that's not important**," said Germany. "**There is also ambassador work, fighting in wars, and many other duties, like advising our bosses**."

I thought for a moment. "**So if jerk-England were to be in an alternate dimension, it wouldn't be during a war or battle or when meeting with another country**."

"**That's what you were thinking of**?" asked Romano. "**Why**?"

"**Because, if **Robin** used to be his cabin girl when she was ten, then that would mean that he was in this dimension before**," Germany caught on. "**And he was a pirate back then, according to **Ussop."

"**So why would it have to be when he was a pirate**?" asked Austria.

"**You know him, he's fixated on being a gentleman**," I said. "**And if he weren't for **Robin**, he probably wouldn't join the **Straw Hats **in the first place. He wouldn't want to become a pirate ever again without a good reason**."

"Ve~ **but he's scary**…"

"Shut up. **So have there been any periods when he's been inactive**?" I asked.

Spain nodded. "**Before the Armada, before our war, England's boss wasn't supporting any war campaigns or treaties, so I don't remember seeing him around. What about you, **Germany?"

"**I cannot remember anything from back then**," he replied. "Austria?"

"Nein, **I am landlocked, remember**?" Austria said indignantly.

"Ve~ **so that's when he was gone**!" Italy said happily. "Ve… **why were we talking about this**?"

"No real reason, I was just curious. But it might answer some questions, [2]" I said quickly. "**And that means that **Canada** really was lying about time passing faster in our world**."

"**Who**?" said everyone else at the same time in German, Italian, and Spanish.

"Never mind," I said. "So, the last match is France and Franky, right?"

"Ja, und zen you, Italien Veneziano, Romano," Germany finished.

Both of the Italy brothers began to shake violently. "V-ve…"

"Agh!" Romano threw his arms up in anger. "**Why are we doing this**?!" he glared at me. "**Why did you make us do this?! You were the one who said that we would fight with you**!"

"Don't worry, I can-" Crack! … Ow! My… my… my… tower! He kicked me in the knee! The concrete that held together my leg cracked!

"**Shut up**, Sailor Jerk!" he fled.

"Ve~? Ve!" Italy made a dozen hand signs in quick succession that I couldn't follow.

"Romano!" Spain called, but he was gone. "Agh," he said, and chased after him.

"Germany?" I asked as soon as he left the room.

"Ja?" he responded. "Eeiz it about Romano being stronger zan you?"

"A- how did you know?" I said, bewildered.

"Eeit vas right un your face," said Austria.

"Oh. Okay then, so-"

"Zat eeiz because Romano eeiz **a full nation**," explained Germany. "**If he wanted, he could wipe you out, but he has his own reasons. It would be a waste of military funds and time, which he needs. Additionally, when nations are feeling very strong emotions, the power that they had at their peak comes out for an instant, as long as they are not currently at war with the one they are directing their emotions to**."

"Like Spain?" I asked. His economy's doing horrible, and he still almost killed jerk-England when he was angry.

"Ja, zat is a perfect example," said Germany.

"So, if he's like that, then we could-"

"Nine!" Germany and Austria shouted at the exact name time.

"Er… 'nine'?"

"Zat is our answer," Germany said conclusively.

"Oh. Nein, I thought you said nine, like the number," I said. "But-"

"Italien **was my responsibility during WW2**," said Germany. "**That includes South Italy, whether he likes me or not**."

"Italien** Romano was Spain's responsibility, Spain is my friend**," Austria said aristocratically.

"I thought he fled at the sight of you," I said bluntly.

"Vell, zat vas only because he vas used to Romano being zere," Germany explained. "He should come around-"

"CHIGI!" Romano squealed. "Wh-what do you want?!"

Without hesitating, the three of us dashed out of our room, and saw- Romano and Italy, huddled against one another, facing a… a…?

"Vhy is zere a man vithout a shirt here?" Germany shouted. I looked, and he was right. He was wearing a pair of pants that came down to his ankles, and it was firmly secured with a belt, but…

Austria gave the man a sharp look. "You should really put somesing on."

The man spat to the side and hollered, "Why should I?! These guys ruined my entire life!"

I tried hard not to laugh. "I-Italy? Veneziano? Romano? H-how could they-?"

"Look at them!" howled the man, pointing mainly at Italy. "He's still wearing a dress!"

"Ve~?" said Italy innocently. He never did change out of that maid dress, then.

"You idiot!" Romano said. "**Why did you not change while you had the chance**?!"

"Ve~ Mr. Austria was dere!"

"Then change out of it now, fratello!"

"Oi, what's going on?" Luffy and the rest of his crew emerged from their rooms. "Why doesn't he have a shirt?"

"I… don't have a shirt, either…" Chopper shivered.

"Ah!" said Franky, as if he just noticed. "You don't have a shirt on!"

"Neither do you!" Nami scolded. "Chopper is a reindeer, so it doesn't matter if he has a shirt on or not!"

"Luffy never wears a shirt, either," Zoro told us.

"What about that time on Drum Island?" Luffy retorted.

"It was cold out there, you had to wear something!" burst out Zoro.

"QUIT IGNORING ME!" hollered the man.

"Wait, wait, wait," Canada interrupted. I didn't even see him come in… "What did they do?"

"Did you just hear something?" asked the man.

"Nein, it must have been ze vind," said Austria.

"Ve~…" Italy trembled. "It was a ghost dat looked like America!"

Sanji looked at a spot directly behind Canada. "Nope, no one's there."

Canada threw his hands up in exasperation. "Why can't anybody-"

"All right, what's going on?"Jerk-Arthur came out of the Straw Hat's room. Canada looked relieved, but England walked past both him and the half-naked man. "Put a shirt on, you bloody flasher," he said as he passed by.

"Don't worry," I whispered to a distraught Canada, "there's always France."

Right on cue, France emerged from his room. Pushing straight through Canada, he made a disgusted noise. "Zat eeiz such a tacky belt," he began, "And your 'air is 'ideous."

"What did you say?!" the man cried. "This belt is- is-"

"Don't use a word two times in a row!" Jerk-England called from outside. "It's bad grammar."

"Why you…"

"Und vhy vould you not have a shirt?" Austria nagged. "Put von on zis instant!"

"Ve~" Italy whined, and put on one of his uniform jackets.

"He wasn't talking to you, idiota!" said Romano angrily.

"Hey!" America came rushing out of the room.

"Please tell me you can see me…" said Canada, but America sprinted past him.

"Sorryican'ttalknowgottagobye!"

"Speak proper English, you bloody Yankee!" called Jerk-England from downstairs. "Oh, this is good strudel."

"It's against my principles to wear a shirt, that's the reason why I'm so angry!" screamed the man.

Wait a second… "Did we miss something here?" I asked.

"THEM!" shrieked the man. Yet again, he was pointing to the Italy brothers.

"Ve?" said Italy.

"Like I said, what did we miss?" I repeated.

"Those little brats," he jabbed a fist at the Italy brothers, "took my spot as the most wanted criminal on the entire island!"

"I thought that would be us," Chopper said.

"So you are ze only criminal on zis island?" Germany asked. "Vhat did you do?"

The man gave us a sharp look. "You don't know who I am?!"

"Ve just got here, vhy should ve know?" said Austria indignantly.

"Because I'm Shirtless Steve!" hollered the man.

"And, what did you do dat made you a criminal?" said Romano, unimpressed.

"I went fifty days without putting on any upper body coverage!" bragged Shirtless Steve.

"BLOODY HELL!" Jerk-England shouted as he came back into the hallway, holding a strudel. "You really need to something on!"

"Again, what did you do?" repeated Romano.

Germany sighed. "Eeif ze police arrested you und Veneziano for dressing like a voman, vhat vould zey do vith zis man?"

"That's right! I managed to keep out of those stinking (**illegitimate sons**) hands for fifty days! Fifty days!"

"And what did you do after dat?" Romano continued his 'he's such an idiot' stance. Oh, yeah, the mafia originated from him. Italy, especially Sicily, is practically synonymous with organized crime.

"This is my fiftieth day! But you guys ruined it all by making another ruckus in town, so I don't get any notice!"

"So you are just a stupid wannabe show-off who wants attention?" Romano spat. "You idiota!"

"What…" Steve muttered, "did you say?!"

Oh, sh- He has a gun-

THUNK! An axe… it was huge! "Hola, amigo," a voice called from the shadows. A voice filled with cold anger, hatred, and… that was Spanish, wasn't it?

"Wh-who are you?!" Shirtless Steve panicked. "I-I'm warning you! I-I have a-"

WHAM! Romano headbutted Steve in the back. He didn't say anything, probably conflicted between thanking Spain and saying that he didn't need his help.

"Romano!" Spain threw himself onto him, and hugged him affectionately.

"G-get off me, Tomato Jerk!" Romano wriggled around in annoyance and surprise.

To by disbelief, he let go. "I'm sorry Austria," he said, scratching the back of his head. He wasn't afraid of him anymore! "Yeah… I kind of got carried away with Romano being five years old again…"

Nami looked taken aback for a moment.

"So, is this normal in your dimension?" Luffy asked. "It's not that different here!"

"No, it's not." Jerk-England put his hand to his forehead and sighed.

The next day…

"Ze fight of ze day eeiz- France vs. Franky!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Spain and England, England not doing anything- Okay, I admit it. When I wrote the first chapter, I didn't know when Iggy could have been in the One Piece universe. It just seemed like a good idea for him to be Robin's old captain, but I had nothing to base it on. So, I went to Wikipedia, and found that before the Armada (when Spain tried to invade England… I said this about ten chapters back), Britain wasn't supporting any treaties or alliances or military efforts, only a few halfhearted ones. So it was natural for England not to be there.

The work that the nations do are based on both what is seen in the series (they fight, have meetings, make alliances, pay off debts, bond, etc.) and all the fanfictions where there is a lot of paperwork.

[2] Sealand wondering when Iggy was lost- yes, that entire conversation was made to answer any questions. In other words, it's to fill plot holes.

Who will win the next fight? What will happen to the figure? And when will I get on with an actual plot?!

This chapter was ad-libbed. I feel horrible… But it fills holes.

Something I couldn't put in:

"Nami?" asked Robin.

"Yes?" I answered from the bed.

"Aren't you going to eavesdrop on the others next door?"

"No, I can't understand a word they're saying, there's no point in listening."


	32. Chapter 32

I read _The Hogfather_ by Terry Pratchett, and it actually had a theory of where nations were before they were personified. It didn't actually come up with a theory for nations specifically, but rather, fairy tale characters like Santa. Basically, someone had an idea, and the God of Hangovers was created. He said that he was 'sort of everywhere' before being suggested, however.

My bad. WW2 Japan isn't really arrogant. He's righteous. Ever read historical Shonen manga? Wanderer comes into town where there is corrupt lord, he defeats him, and the people make a better life for themselves. That's how Japan sees it. He's the wanderer, England is the lord. To him, he is making things better. Plus, there's also the revenge factor, when the Japanese tried to pass a nonracist law through the Allies (or another group), but they didn't accept. That's what he means by betrayal.

Also, I feel bad about writing that piece about Japan. I'm sorry, everyone!

Chapter 32 (Nami POV)

Breakfast that day was about as normal as it got with a pirate crew and a group of people from an alternate dimension who were de-aged. Luffy ate all of the pancakes, so Canada was forced to drink maple syrup straight out of the bottle, Germany was silently mixing brown food coloring with his beer to disguise it as soda to bypass drinking laws, Ussop was experimenting with the explosive properties of apple strudel, Spain and Romano were eating tomatoes together without a care in the world, and Russia was claiming that his vodka (I still couldn't stand the sight of that stuff) was water. The person he was talking to didn't seem to believe him, but one look at his pipe told him not to argue.

"So, can you fight?" Sanji asked Austria over strudel next door.

"Nine," Austria replied.

"He eeiz saying 'no'," translated Germany.

"They share a national language," said Arthur. He paused for a moment. "How did I know that?"

"You'll remember…" said Canada almost silently. They ignored him.

"You don't fight?!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Delayed reaction!" shouted Ussop.

"Nein," said Austria seriously. "I used to fight vhen I vas stronger."

"Ve~ I remember!" Italy proclaimed. As soon as Austria looked back at him, he was back in the maid's dress.

Romano muttered something angry that I couldn't understand. [1]

Spain put his arm around Austria. "Sí," he said. "You kicked my culata a long time ago, but then Prusia got the three of us together, and-" (culata means butt, NOT anything else.)

"Who's Prusia?" I asked.

"Mein bruder," Germany piped up. "Prussia in your language, Preußen in our language."

Austria looked angry, or at least annoyed. "I defeated you," he protested.

"No, Hungría was the one who beat us," Spain continued. Austria was getting more and more annoyed by the minute, but Spain wasn't paying attention. "So that was after we divorced, and after that, they got married and-"

Austria stood up. "Zat eeiz enough," he said, and left.

Spain looked confused. "What did I say wrong?"

Romano sighed. "Tomato jerk is always like this…"

"You mean, totally insensitive?" I asked dryly. After last night, I could barely believe that he could be like this one moment and a manic the next without being in some way bipolar or crazy.

"Si!" said Italy happily. "He once pulled on fratello's hair curl!"

Romano muttered something else angrily.

"What it with that curl, anyway?" I asked. Both of them had one, heck, America and Canada had one. I would have touched it if he wasn't so sore about it.

"Hey," Luffy came over. "What happens if I touch-"

"CHIGI!" screamed Romano.

"VE~~~~~~!" squealed Italy.

"Eh?" said Luffy. "All I did was tug on it a little…"

Germany tugged on Luffy's vest. "Zat eiez not a gute idea," he said. It wasn't a threat.

Austria stood up. "Vhat are you doing?!" he scolded. "Zat eiez zeir-" he paused. "I vill not say vhat eit eiez."

"Eiet eiez zeir…" Germany cleared his throat. "For lack of a better vord, zeir 'veak point'."

Spain looked surprised. "So that's what it was!" he said as if it was news to him. He leaned closer to Romano. "Romano, I'm sorry about the incident after the Ottoman Empire and-"

The others yelled at him to shut up in a dozen unrecognizable languages.

"Lo siento," he apologized.

"What happened?" asked Robin.

"R-"

His friends yelled at him to shut up again. I guess they didn't trust him to tell us what happened without spilling the secret…

"Hey!" shouted Franky. "You're the guy I'm supposed to fight, right?!"

France got up, and Arthur began emitting a negative aura. "Ein zat tacky Speedo? And zat-"

"Why you…" Franky was getting angrier by the second.

"That is _it_," said Arthur fervently as he stood up. "You're not going to insult my-"

"Friend? 'ow long 'ave you known me for?"asked France.

Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but he had a sudden thought, and refused to speak a word. He was still glaring at France, though.

"Hey, why can't you two calm down?" Canada tried to ease the tension, but as usual, Robin and I were the only ones who noticed him. I was still wondering about what he was lying about… he told us he was lying, but he never said what.

"Ve~ what was dat?" said Italy.

"Canada," said Arthur and France in unison. They were grabbing each other's collars until they were interrupted.

"Canada?" asked Russia creepily. "I vanted to ask you zis."

America crouched down, threatening to tackle Russia any minute. "Shut up, you-"

"How does von plant sunflowers vhen it is cold?"

That statement was so out of my scope of Russia that I almost fell over.

"Wh-what are sunflowers?" asked Chopper.

"Dude!" America shouted. "They're these giant flowers that grow where I come from!"

"Da, my старшая сестра loves them," said Russia. (Older sister in Russian [2]) "Vhat I vant ze most eiz to be in a varm field full of sunflowers."

Wow… I had no idea Russia was like that…

"After everyvone becomes von with mother R-"

America screamed, "That's it!" and tackled Russia head-on. Russia retaliated with a blow from his pipe, and received a kick to the face in exchange.

France sighed. "What must zey fight so much?"

"Like you're one to talk…" said Canada resignedly. "By the way, you'll need a greenhouse to make it warm enough. And try to plant them when it's summer, there's too little sunlight in winter where you live."

"What was zat?" France replied menacingly, suddenly regaining the ability to see Canada.

"He's got you right on the mark, frog," said Arthur. Why did they hate each other so much, anyway?

"Dude, he's talking about your constant fights with France!" America butted in loudly.

"I aglee with Amerika-san," said Japan.

"Aiyah, you fight so much, it is annoying," said Yao.

"You both fight a lot, da?" said Russia.

Canada sighed. "You two finally have something to agree on…"

They nodded, and continued fighting.

The one thing that annoyed me was… Russia said "Become one with mother-" something that began with R. I might have heard it somewhere before… or not.

X

We marched back up the hill, taking note of the time we would have to leave. According to the residents, the log pose always turns at eight o'clock in the evening on the second Tuesday of the month. Handy, but a little confusing. Come to think of it, Arthur was in this town before us… wasn't he working in a bookshop?

"…So, that was actually my last day at the shop," Arthur said to Chopper, who had asked while I was thinking. "The owner had to leave, and I happened to be there, so I took over while he was gone. I left a note and took my wages, and locked up the shop as soon as I left."

Ah. So he didn't leave behind the shop. That actually said something that I didn't notice earlier… he didn't like leaving things unattended. I wonder why? Does it have something to do with him leaving Robin? And what exactly was Canada lying about, anyway? I knew that he was lying on intuition, but his reaction suggested that he was hiding something big. That secret must be important…

"Ze match vill be," announced Germany, "France against Franky!"

Franky stood up dramatically, in his full exposed-chest-with-Speedo glory. Not one to be outdone, France-

"Fine! I don't care if you take your shirt off!" shouted Canada in an uncharacteristic fit of rage. "As long as your pants-"

They didn't come off. It appeared that they were either stuck, or glued on with something.

"I took the liberty of covering it with superglue beforehand," Arthur told Robin. "If I didn't, then that bloody frog would have stripped totally naked."

(A/N I have to keep within the rating. If I don't curse, what did you think I would do with stripping?)

"Vous buveur de thé stupide ..." France cursed under his breath.

"What did you call me, you-" Arthur retorted, sword suddenly appearing in hand.

"Ve, he called him a stupid drinker of tea," whispered Italy. He lit a fire in the confusion, and was boiling water for pasta.

I looked at them again, and they were fighting with swords. They do fight more than necessary, granted. Not even Zoro and Sanji break out the swords and the kicks that fast.

"Something's not right…" whispered Canada. "They usually argue about something whenever they fight like this… Maybe it's because Engl-Arthur can't remember, and France won't yell at him if Arthur can't say anything back."

As if on cue, France began blabbing something in his language. So much for keeping quiet…

"What did you say about Ita-chan?" Spain rose, a psychotic gleam in his eyes. His axe was out in its full giant glory.

"Austria said it, not France," Peter blurted out.

"Nein, I said zat he vas small."

"Oh, lo siento."

"His name starts with Engl?" I asked. While they did say that he had multiple names, I could write most of them off as translations from another language, but the ones remaining began with u, b, g, and e. America, Canada, and Peter were the ones who came up with them, and they all speak the same language. Well, Canada does speak France's language as his first language, but France came up with a different letter. I could come up with a few names from those letters (though I would have some trouble with the u), but I can't think of any names beginning with Engl.

"Maple! I shouldn't have told you that…"

"CHIGI! Don't touch dat-"

"Vhat kind a pervert are you?! Und your shirt needs sewing!" Austria took Luffy's shirt off, and began patching it up.

"Hey! I liked that vest!"

"Shut up!" shouted Germany. "Ve came here for France to fight Franky, not E- Arsur!"

Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing, even us. That's how big of a presence Germany had. Instantly silencing an entire crew of pirates and a large group of super-hyperactive people… I had no doubt that he could get an entire squadron of Marines to stop, if only for a moment.

"Zat eiz better," he said. "Now, vill you please get ready?"

"Oui…" said France disenheartedly. He grabbed his sword from out of nowhere, and pointed it at Franky. On closer inspection, his sword looked different from the one he had before. For one, it looked heavier, and the blade was broader. The hilt had a different guard, and its blade had one edge… It was a sabre [3]. The one he had before was a rapier. Arthur had a rapier, too, and he did say that he fought with a sword… it probably wasn't the one he was dueling France with. Just a guess.

"Eins, Zwei, Drei, PAINT!" roared Germany. Franky dabbed it onto his chest, and France smeared a sticky chunk on his hip. I saw him look at Italy's chest for a moment, but Germany gave him a sharp look [4].

"BEGIN!"

Franky lifted up a huge rock next to him, and threw it at France. As I expected, he dodged, but Franky was ready. He threw a punch at him, which made France stagger back.

"Take this!" Franky raised his other arm, and his finger bent backwards, revealing a gun. BLAM!

"Zat looks a lot like Lithuania's finger when my little sister got to him," said Russia calmly.

Both of the Italy brothers gave an involuntary shudder. "Ve… your sister is pretty…"

"But we are almost as afraid of her as you," Romano finished.

"Oui, your sister is a great belle," said France… Wait, he's okay?! "But she is too aggressive for me to go near."

Franky stepped back. "I guess you're not someone to be underestimated…"

"We must have fought at least a dozen times…" Arthur muttered.

CLANG! France slashed at Franky's chest with his sword, but to no avail.

"HA!" Franky declared. "I'm a cyborg! I can't be cut by-"

"Ze vinner is France," said Germany.

Franky stared at him in shock. "B-but he-"

"He did say that the winner was the one who struck the paint," said Robin. "Look at Nami."

Ussop couldn't complain, either. He had won because Spain collapsed.

Zoro sighed. "What do you think, Luffy?"

He was eating pasta. "Eh? This is really good!"

"Ve~~" said Italy.

"If I had to say who was best at cooking," whispered Canada, "They'd be pretty high on the list."

"What list is that?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Okay, so here's how it goes." He thought for a moment. "I'd say that the best cooks are France, your friend Sanji, both the Italy brothers, and Ch- Yao. Japan and I are right below them. Spain and Russia are in the 'not worth mentioning' category, Germany isn't bad, but…"

"But what?"

"Arthur and America are horrible cooks," he said shortly. "Their cooking isn't poisonous, and sometimes something they make turns out good, but most of the time… [5]"

Germany looked around. "Vell, Peter?" he asked.

Peter trembled a little. "I'm ready."

I picked out the box and pulled out a slip of paper. "!"

"Eh? What is it, Nami?" asked Luffy.

"This is…"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Romano's angry mutterings- About Austria. Remember Chibi Romano? The House of Hapsburg ruled the HRE and Austria, and Spain, and… I never got to this in school. So, it was Austria's fault he became Spain's.

[2] Sunflowers and Ukraine- Sunflowers are the national flower of Ukraine.

[3] France and sabre- Sabre, or saber, is a kind of sword. It was used by Napoleons' army according to Wikipedia (Yes, it was used by everyone), and sabre sounds French.

England and France using different swords for fighting each other when angry- that's more like dueling. When they fight in a battle (more people, not a match), I figure they use something else. I'll keep Iggy's weapon a secret! (But many fics have him use this weapon…)

[4] Part of Italy's chest represents… something. I can't remember what it was, but it belongs (or belonged to) France. France considers it his, but Germany stops him. Let's call it Corsica, France has it now.

[5] This list represents both my own opinions, and canon statements. First, France and China are excellent cooks in canon, and Veneziano is also great. Japanese food is pretty good (my opinion), and Canada was French, so it must have rubbed off. Spain and Russia never have their food mentioned, and I've never had Russian food. Germany's food isn't as bad as Iggy's. America and Iggy… ew. I may be American, but I don't eat that gunk. Actually, British food doesn't sound that bad to me.

The part about 'sometimes they make food that isn't bad' refers to the huge spectrum of people.

Who did Nami pick…? No, wait; I don't have a majority vote. I have a poll, please vote?

Anyway, onto the questions!

When will the figure find them? Who is she? And why do the nations keep beating the pirates?


	33. Chapter 33

To the unnamed person who commented on food- To be perfectly honest, the only Spanish food I ever had was paella, and that came from an American cooking site. As a matter of fact, in one episode, Romano woke Spain up, **asking for him to make him breakfast**. If Romano is anything like Veneziano, he wouldn't eat anything that tastes bad. As for British food, I read that the food there is plain because the food culture was more… frugal. What could you use animal blood for, other than blood sausage? Haggis may sound bad, but I think it was the Scot's way of conserving the edible organs. Taste, I guess, was never a high priority. I've never had Dutch food, so I don't know what it tastes like. As for Russian food, look how cold it is there!

Note- I'm sorry! I forgot that at this point, Zoro only has two swords! I'll patch up that error, ja?

Poll results- as promised, I will break the tie. Votes: Zoro, Ussop, and Sanji each got 2. Chopper and Robin both got 1.

Chapter 33 (Sealand POV)

"… Zoro," said Nami. "You three are fighting Zoro."

Zoro? The bloke with green hair and three swords? He looks strong…

Romano glared at me, as if to say, 'This is all your fault.'

Italy was clinging to Romano as he usually did in danger. Admittedly, I was sort of afraid, but I got us into this, and I could get us out. Besides, I had a plan.

"I have a plan," I told them.

Romano spat. "You better have one," he said bitterly.

I leaned in anyway and told them the plan. "… so then you hit that spot!"

Romano was almost surprised. "Dat plan is not bad," he said.

"Ve~ but you have to work hardest," said Italy.

"I'll be okay," I said. As long as I'm made of metal, I could stand a sword strike.

"Attention!" called Germany. "Ze rules vill change for zis fight. Vhile Zoro has von spot to paint, only von of you vill be painted. You vill be ze target."

I looked at Romano. Italy looked at me. Romano looked at his brother.

"You'd probably be the best target for our plan," I said to Italy.

"V-ve~?!"

Romano tried to stand between us, but he was a little short. "I-I'll do it."

Italy shook his head. "Ve~ the plan makes it better for me to go."

Romano nodded. "We are ready, Potato Jerk!"

He nodded. "Eins, zwei, deri, vier, PAINT!"

Italy stuck some on his back, and so did Zoro. "BEGIN!"

I rushed at Zoro. Seeing an opening, he slashed at me with the backs of all three swords. _Just how I expected_, I thought. I blocked his strikes with my arms, which were made of metal like the rest of my body. Seeing his eyes widen in confusion, I caught all three of his swords-

And promptly let go. Two of them were normal, but the last one, the white one, was-

_I could sense the emotions in metal. That was my final gift upon becoming a personified. As I was made of metal, I could always sense the residual emotions from metal. Whenever any kind of metal was used when the user was feeling a strong emotion, the emotion passed on to the metal. Metal with emotions are… well, no one else has a word for it, so I say that it is hot. The stronger the emotion, the warmer it becomes, until I can't hold on to it at all _[1]-

Z-Zoro's white sword… it had the most intense 'aura' I've ever felt… I couldn't hold onto it!

"V-ve?!" Italy! If I couldn't hold on to Zoro's swords, he couldn't hold him down! My plan was that I seal Zoro's swords, Italy seals his movement, and Romano strikes the paint!

Italy grabbed Zoro anyway. I grabbed his other two swords, which I could actually hold on to. "Ve~ fratello!"

Romano rushed in, but Zoro struck back with the white sword. Thwack~! He flipped Italy with a one-armed shoulder throw, and lightly struck his back. "VE~~~~~!"

"Zoro, vins!" Germany said quickly. "Now vould you please hold still for a moment?"

Zoro- he had his hand caught into Italy's hair curl. No wonder it hurt so much… "Don't you touch it, Potato Jerk!" Romano yelled. He somehow managed to untangle it without messing it up.

He glared angrily at me. "**Why did you let go of his sword, huh, Sailor Jerk**?!" he yelled in Italian.

"I'll explain later," I said, avoiding the issue as much as possible. It would take too long, after all. But Zoro gave me a suspicious look. I guess it's because I blocked his swords without getting hurt too badly…

"Vell, all zat eeiz left eeiz to prepare for ze voyage," said Germany. "Ve vill meet at ze inn at 1945 hours!" he declared. "Dismissed!"

Geez… it's not like we're a military or anything. Even as a child, he's as strict as ever…

"Hey," said Zoro. "I want to talk to you."

Well, I couldn't say that I wasn't surprised. "I can explain everything. Well, not everything, but-"

He grabbed me and dragged me towards the town. "How did you defend against my swords?" he asked. "All three of them were solid, sharpened steel. And out of the three, the only one that you didn't seem to be able to touch was Kuina's. The other two I bought, one was a high-class sword, and the other was a cheap one that I got from the local smithy. Why hers?"

"Who's Kuina?" I asked.

He was silent. Must be someone he lost, long ago…

To change the subject, I began my explanation. "My body's made of metal," I blurted out. It was stupid of me, but what else could I do?

Zoro looked at me for a long time. He tapped my hand. "Doesn't sound like metal," he said.

"It's almost impossible to tell when I'm not being hit by something or… during special circumstances, like with the metal detector," I explained.

"Metal detector?"

"Remember when I got shot? Chopper used a metal detector to get all the bullets out, but it still had a signal from my body. That's what I mean by special," I finished. "Can I go now?"

He walked off towards the mountains. "The town is that way!" I shouted.

"I knew that!" he yelled as he walked off towards the forest. _Well, I'd better get going_, I thought. I like being in towns and cities, even though I don't actually have any to call my own. I guess I just like being with other people…

I explored the town as much as I possibly could, finding all sorts of shops. Tea shops, book shops, sweet shops, even a magic shop. I bought a chocolate bar from the sweet shop, using jerk-England's money, and walked around aimlessly.

"Hey, you!" a boy about my age called. He was covered in bandages, and bruised all over. "Yeah, you!"

"What is it?" I asked. A kid at the head of a gang of other kids can never mean anything good, but I had to ask. They were surrounding me, but most of them were injured, and I was sure that I could fight much better than they could.

"We're here to beat you up!" he announced.

"And you challenged how many other people?" I asked. "You're covered in bandages."

His gang shifted uncomfortably, but he stood up tall. "Bandages are a mark of valor!"

"Or idiocy," I said bitingly. Jerk-Arthur's personality really rubbed off on me…

"Hey! All we did was challenge that tall kid with the scarf, and he beat us with a weapon! A pipe is cowardly!"

"You fought Russia!?" I said. "You're lucky he let you live…"

"And Tifa? She beat us up bad…" one of the members muttered. "That girl changed a lot since that guy with the funny accent grabbed her…" [2]

"Don't forget that little kid with the glasses that you tried to fight to prove you were stronger!" another announced.

"How could I have known about his monster strength?!" a kid with a broken arm shouted. "He threw me at least fifty feet!"

"America too?" I asked dryly. Those kids were brave, stupid, or suicidal. Mabe all three…

"Don't forget that kid with the weird accent! He beat all of us up!"

Weird accent? "How was it weird?" I asked. It must have been his defining feature…

"He pronounced his th's like d's and t's, and he couldn't say the letter w!" one called.

I had no idea who that could have been. "So, why me?" I asked. "Are you just going around trying to beat up every single kid in the town?"

"Yeah!" the leader announced. "Or at least until we can beat someone up."

"You're all bloody idiots."

The leader tried to punch, but I headbutted him in the nose. Before he could strike back, I held him in a head lock like Sve showed me. "How's that?" I asked.

"I- you win," said the leader. As I walked away, he shouted, "My name is Kay, and you'll pay for this!"

"If you say so!" I shouted back sarcastically. Before they could retaliate, I ducked into an alleyway and hopped onto the rooftops. I ate my chocolate in peace up there. Jerk-Arthur would have yelled at me for not eating lunch first, but I just like chocolate. Eight hours until departure? I have plenty of time to do what I have to do…

X

At 7:00 sharp, we all happened to gather at the inn for dinner. As usual, there was a huge ruckus. Russia drank more and more vodka, cumulating in his heart falling out. Chopper freaked out, but Russia just stuck it back in. Italy wore the maid dress throughout the entire meal, so at least twenty drunk men tried to hit on him. Germany slapped a few of them to their senses. Austria ended up sewing most of their clothes. Even their underwear… Spain almost thrust an axe into a drunken man's head when he tried to hit on Austria (I've never been drunk, so I have no idea why he thought that). Nami challenged Germany to a drinking contest, which she lost. Germans and lager… beer… I heard that that's all Germany and Prussia ever drink, unless they can't get any. Nami didn't stand a chance…

After we ate, we were due to leave in ten minutes. Luffy ran off, saying something about meat.

Zoro, who was first mate, asked us if we were going to sail on their ship or our ship. "We're going on ours, but someone has to man yours."

"I… would like to stay on our ship," said Japan.

China smiled, and said, "I would also like to stay with Japan!"

Russia smiled, and said that he wanted to stay on their ship. America glared, and said that he wasn't going to stay on the same ship as him. Canada tagged along with America, and France went with Canada. Jerk-England wasn't going to be on the same ship as France, so he was with the Straw Hats. I went with him, just in case. Austria wanted to be on an actual ship, and Germany decided to keep him company. The Italy brothers liked ships, and Spain wanted to be with Romano. So everyone except for America, Canada, Japan, China, and France ended up on the pirate's ship. Well, if they mess anything up on my land, at least I'll know. They ran back to my land, while we boarded the Thousand Sunny, or whatever their ship was called.

"STRAW HAT!" someone yelled. I turned around, and Luffy was running from a huge man smoking three cigars. Luffy launched himself onto the ship.

"What the bloody hell just happened?!" jerk-England shouted.

"This happens a lot," said Zoro. "That guy's a Marine, who hunts pirates."

I pulled the pin of a grenade, and tossed it overboard. BOOM! The Marine staggered back from the explosion, but still advanced.

"Be quiet! I um tlying to read!" A-Austria?! Only you would say such a thing at this time… The Marine was distracted long enough for us to cast off.

"Hah…" jerk-England panted. "N-now I remember…"

"Remember what?" asked Ussop.

"I… was talking to a man…" he began, struggling to hold on to that memory, "He was just talking to a wizard… I came… though the window… gave him an inspirational speech… and told him to go get a machine gun. [3]"

"A what?" asked Chopper.

"A machine gun… fires repeating rounds… takes up a lot of ammunition…" he muttered. About time he remembered his boss…

"Did you say that he was talking to a wizard?" asked Luffy. "How did you know he was a wizard? Did he pull a rabbit out of a hat?"

"No, but he let his fish, Mr. Giggles, die because he neglected to feed it for a month," said jerk-England randomly. He paused. "And I don't even remember how I knew that in the first place."

"You vill remember," Austria reassured him. "You should. You vere ze von who brought us here eein ze first place!"

"I-I'm sorry…"

So Austria's still mad at jerk-England? Can't say I blame him…

X (much, much later…)

Both of our ships sailed side-by-side with a rope connecting us, giving us passage between their Thousand Sunny and my land. Even Austria and I, the weakest, could climb the gap with ease with the aid of the rope. Seeing at the Thousand Sunny was steering, all of us were on board of it. "Hey, guys, look!" Nami yelled, and pointed straight ahead. "Fog's rolling in, we have to stay on guard!"

Franky peered at the mist, and at a map. "This place is legendary… You sailed here, too, right Arthur?"

Jerk-England shook his head. "I came close, but we turned back at the last minute. I forgot why I had to leave, though…"

"This is the Florian Triangle," said Franky dramatically. "Ships lose their course mysteriously here, and entire fleets vanish."

"Monsters live here~" Luffy teased Ussop.

"I heard there are living skeletons," shuddered Nami.

Ussop and America hugged each other and screamed. "Th-that's bad, isn't it?!" Ussop panicked.

"IGGY!" America flung himself onto jerk-England, and hugged him so tight that I could hear his ribs shatter.

"Good lord, it's only a couple ghosts," said jerk-England, peeling America off of him and holding him at arm's length. "Is is because on every Halloween when you were little I used to summon demons?"

America shuddered. That must have been some childhood… A loving older brother for most of the year, who dabbles in witchcraft every day and hates your twin brother's caretaker… I can imagine why America rebelled…

"Summon demons?!" screamed Ussop. "Are you crazy?!"

"He vonce summoned me by accident," said Russia. "He vas trying to call on ze devil."

Yo…Ho… Someone was singing… "You hear that?" I asked. "Someone's… singing…"

"I-it's a ghost ship!" America clung to jerk-England so hard that he vomited blood.

Everyone, except for jerk-England, Russia, and Austria freaked out. "YAAA!"

"Hey, there's a rope ladder leading up to the top!" yelled Luffy. "Let's go climb it!"

Nami slapped him. "Fine, but if we get cursed, it's your fault!"

"Hello."

"GYAAH!" Th-that was a skeleton! Talking! With an afro!

"Hello!" jerk-England called. "How are you?!"

"D-dlop your weapon and I will not exorcize you!" Japan squealed, suddenly wearing monk's clothing. Ever hear Japan squeal? That's about as shocking as hearing France say that he loves scones. Or Russia saying that he hates vodka.

"Oh, come off it," jerk-England said, pushing aside Japan's kanji-engraved katana. "It's all right, he's-"

Spain leaped to the top of the ship, and bashed the skeleton with a small crucifix. "O-OW!"

"El poder de Cristo te obliga!" Spain yelled. (**The power of Christ compels you**, in Spanish.)

"Won't you bloody stop?!" jerk-England kneed Spain in the head. "Sorry about that," he apologized to the skeleton. "He's… like that a lot."

"Hmph," Romano grunted. "You haven't lived with him for… years."

"Hello! I'm Brook!" shouted the skeleton. "You're a cute girl; will you lend me some money?"

It took me all of five seconds to realize that he was talking to Italy. "V-Ve?!"

"Fratello's male!" Romano shouted.

"I… do not have very much money…" Italy said. "But I can show you my-" (Art, he means to say art).

"Will you show me your panties?!" Brook asked Nami next.

"No."

"Will you become part of my crew?" asked Luffy.

"Okay," replied Brook.

"Th-that was fast!" everyone but Robin, Austria, Russia, and jerk-England shouted.

"Hi, I'm Luffy," said Luffy.

"Let's have dinner on board your ship!" yelled Brooks.

"Okay."

That… was strange. Luffy was a far cry from what you'd call normal, but this was stretching the limits.

X

"…so you're all from another world, some of you were de-aged, you were a pirate here twenty years ago, and you lost your memories?" asked Brook.

"Yeah, that just about sums it up," said jerk-England, one of the few who could actually talk to him.

"And you are a skeleton because of a devil fruit, and your shadow vas stolen?" asked Russia.

"Yes."

"Hey, look!" I shouted. "It's an island!"

"Th-that's-!"

X (Figure POV… fine, it's Hungary)

"So, Héderváry," asked Tashigi. "Why did you want to join us all of a sudden?"

I looked at the sky. "D-dere is somevone I vant to see… and he vas on dat ship."

Tashigi put her hand on my shoulder sympathetically. She probably thought he was a prisoner or something… "He is not a prisoner," I said. "He…I have no idea vhy he was on dat ship, but I vill find out."

"Look sharp, crew!" shouted Commodore Smoker. "We're here to investigate this island- Thriller Bark!"

X (meanwhile, in Norway)

"You too?" asked Norway.

The girl in front of him nodded.

"Fine, but whatever you do, don't touch-"

FOOM!

"She touched it."

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Sealand's ability with metal- explained earlier, and used in my other active fic, 'So why do we have a Firebender on our team again?' It's an Avatar:TLA/Hetalia x-over. The Baltics, England, Sealand, Prussia, and Canada end up in the Avatar universe, where they join team Avatar and acquire Bending.

[2] Tifa, the girl- Tifa Lockheart is a character from Final Fantasy VII. She is a martial artist, who apparently was inspired by Hungary…

[3] England, his boss, machine gun, wizard, and Mr. Giggles the dead fish- All events from 'The man of 42 seconds later', three Harry Potter/Hetalia one-shots. England meets the Prime Minister from Harry Potter, right after he meets Fudge.

Finally back on some semblance of a plot! It's been too long…

Help! I need somebody! I know absolutely nothing about European history, other than what Hetalia presents and what I learned in school (I am American!). Please, if you could, tell me anything you know about History, especially what relates to the characters I gave!

Who is that girl? Will the Marines and the pirates collide? And when will Kay learn his lesson?


	34. Chapter 34

This storyline was my intention all along. I wanted to get on this plot for a long time, but I had already established the fights, and… I had fun with randomness. Crossdressing, wild chase scenes, you name it… but it's time to move on.

I forgot to say this, but last chapter, I made a mistake. I miswrote Kuina as Kushina, the girl who gave Zoro his sword. Animegirl426 spotted this, and I made the edit, but I forgot to credit her. I could have put a note now, but who would read an A/N twice?

I am switching POVs a lot. Also, my plan to organize the plot is complicated, so I'll give a run-down at the end.

I assume that there is no legal age for joining Marines. If Koby could do it…

This may seem insignificant, but in German, England is spelled the same way but pronounced differently. Instead of 'Ing-gland', it's more like 'eng-land'. Look it up, I can't render it in text.

Chapter 34 (Hungary POV)

"Thriller Bark?" I repeated. "Vhat is dat?"

"It's where the Shichibukai Gekko Moriah resides," explained Smoker. "Most Marines are not privy to this information, but this is an exception since we are in this area."

"But… why are we going there?" asked Tashigi.

"To evaluate his work as a Shichibukai," replied Smoker.

"Vhat is a… Shichibukai?" I asked.

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. "The Shichibukai are a group of pirates who work for the World Government, alongside the Marines," explained John. "But how could you not know?"

They caught me! Time to reveal the truth, I guess… "De ting, is, I come from anoder vorld. A vhile ago, somevone I knew forced a… friend of mine into dis vorld, along vis some oders. It vas most likely an accident, but I came here vith de help of someone by de name of Lukas Bondevilk to bring dem back."

"But… why would you come here all alone, when you're so young?" asked Tashigi. "Did Lukas come with you?"

I shook my head. "Vhen I vent through de gate, I vas changed from an adult to a child. Here, I have a picture of vhat I should look like." I rummaged through my bag and showed them the pictures of the Axis. Me, Germany, Italy, Romano, Japan, Bulgaria, and Romania… Prussia snuck in when it was taken, as usual. "Dat is me on de-"

FOOM! Smoker spun around, stick-weapons in hand. "What was that?!"

"It looks like… a giant mouth!" screamed John.

"Hang on, it looks like we're heading straight for it!" shouted Mark, the helmsman.

"Then take us out of it!" ordered Smoker.

"I can't! The water level is lower there than it is here! Get ready for a rough ride!"

Being landlocked, I was not entirely used to ships, so I grabbed onto the mast with all my strength. "Look out! We're gonna crash!" Not helping, Mark!

Three… two…. One… WHAM! CRASH! The impact of the crash launched all of us onto shore, plunging several Marines in the sand. "Is everyone all right?!" called Smoker. "REPORT!"

"Tashigi, here!"

"John, here!"

"Mark, here!"

"Héderváry, here!"

The list went on. Everyone was present, albeit stunned. "Look sharp, crew!" ordered Smoker. "We don't know what's out here. Be on your guard!"

I scanned the surroundings. Strange… we were in a place with so many details that I couldn't make sense of anything. Garish colors contrasting with a graveyard… Was the soil… moving?

"C-commodore!" Tashigi crouched down, ready to draw her sword at a moment's notice. "S-something's m-moving!"

Half-rotten corpses emerged from their graves, hands dragging in front of them. Zombies! "G-get back!" I panicked. I had never fought the living dead. My hundreds of years of experience were useless against enemies who couldn't die.

WHAP! WHAM! BANG! "Keep your eyes on the battlefield!" Commodore Smoker yelled. He had already broken the skulls of half the mob.

SHING! Tashigi sliced a dozen zombies in half. "Don't give up, even if they can't die!"

BLAM! John blew the head off of one. "Come on, you cleaned out the whole fleet in only a day! If you can do that, then-"

_**KABOOOOM**_! The entire shore was blown apart by a force that I recognized as a rocket launcher. "KESESE~! Suck it, losers! The awesome Preußen has arrived!"

**X (Robin POV)**

"That's Thriller Bark!" shouted Brook. "I'm so sorry, but I must leave." He hopped off the side of the ship.

"W-wait!" Cap'n said. "If you do that, you'll-"

"Look!" shouted Nami. "He's running on the surface of the water!"

That's… impossible, isn't it? And reckless. That's the only way he can die. "Let's go follow him!" Luffy said enthusiastically.

"Y-yeah!" Chopper repeated.

"We can't avoid it even if we want to," said Nami. "After all… you do realize that it has a giant hole in the wall that's sucking us in?"

We drifted towards the massive island in silence. "So… does anyone fancy a cup of tea?" asked Cap'n.

"Your tea is corrupted by cow milk and sugar!" Yao yelled angrily. "Tea is supposed to be clear!"

This argument went on and on, until we hit land. I had to admit, Cap'n was getting more and more of his original fire back…

"Z-zombies!" screamed Ussop. I looked at the shore, and… yes, there were zombies. "G-go away!" he shot a fireball at them.

BAM! WHACK! America picked up random boulders strewn around the place, and threw them. He wasn't afraid of them?

Russia bashed a few skulls without moving at all, it seemed. But, his pipe was there one moment, and lodged in some zombie's kidney another, so something must have happened in between. "It is not wise to show fear or mercy to the enemy," he said calmly. He is crazy…

"Fire and iron are their weaknesses!" shouted Cap'n, and he threw something that burst into flames at their feet.

"I already figured that out!" retorted Ussop.

BOOM. An-an earthquake!? BOOM! T-the ground's splitting up! "They're planning on separating us!" I screamed.

_**KABOOM**_! The world turned black.

**X**

"R-Robin!" shouted Nami. "Are you okay?"

"Ugh…" I groaned. "That… that wasn't a natural earthquake," I said. "I smell a rat."

"What makes you think that?" asked Nami.

"Just… I don't know, call it intuition," I said.

Nami opened a photo album. "Let's hear your explanation later, take a look at this."

"Where did you get that?"I asked.

"Stole it from Austria when he wasn't looking." She flipped to a page with a picture painted on it. In it, Austria was standing alongside a richly dressed woman. Behind them was a flag consisting of two red stripes on top, and one white in between, and a complex crest in the center consisting of a black two headed eagle and a crown. There was a signature in the corner that read 'Italia' in fancy script. "I think that Italy drew this," hypothesized Nami, "and that woman is Austria's ex-wife." [1]

"His ex? I think her name was something like Elizabeth, but more… exotic?" I guessed. "Like… Elizabeta!"

"And Spain called her Hungría, or something," pondered Nami. "And he said that she beat him, France, and Prussia up. Doesn't look like it…"

"That dress does make her look too pompous to fight…" I noted.

"Ugh… Maple…" groaned a quiet voice. Nami slammed the album shut.

"C-Canada!" she cried. "You're awake!"

He sat up, rubbing his head. "Where are we?" he asked. "We fell down this hole, and… are you two okay?!"

Nami and I nodded. "What about you?"

"I'm fine…" he closed his eyes for a moment. "America seems to be okay… I can't get a lock on France, but I'd know if something was wrong… and Arthur… he's in a precarious situation…"

"How did you know that?" asked Nami. "You're not psychic or anything… are you?"

He shook his head. "I… have a bond with those three. I'm tied to France in a way that's almost vanished, and I'm America's twin."

"What about Cap'n?" I asked.

"Our fates… are deeply tied…" said Canada, not explaining anything. "Our bond… is deeper than mine with America's…"

Deeper than his own twin brother's? I knew something was up… but what was the truth, anyway? The only thing that he used as an excuse was that it had something to do with the secret, but how did one secret affect all of his lies?

"I can see what you're thinking about…" whispered Canada. "As soon as he remembers, I'll tell you everything."

"But… if it's so important that you can't tell Cap'n about it, then why are you telling us?" I asked.

Canada turned away. "Normally I can't tell anyone except for my boss," he muttered, "but… it won't matter in the end."

**X (Romano POV)**

Wh-where am I? "S-**Spain**? F-fratello? **Austria? Japan? E-even Germany would be okay** **at a time like this**!" I screamed to the world. No answer…

Rustle… z-zombies?! "G-get back, you-" I shouted, gun in hand. My mafia had a spike in activity recently, so I had a two hour-long boost in power. The drawback was, after that period, I'd be unconscious until someone revives me. I had no idea how much time had passed… BLAM! I fired regardless of the time limit. "DIE, YOU (**I can't tone this down at all**…)-ing (**illegitimate sons**)!"

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! I fired and fired, hitting each of them right in the head. The power boost seemed to be more effective this time around… They staggered back, but more kept coming. "Rgh," I groaned. "BRING IT ON!" I roared. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

THUMP. M-my mafia… the two-hour limit was up! "GYAAAA!"

**X (Ussop POV)**

Of all the people I could have landed with… It had to be them!

"You wanna fight, COMMIE?!" roared America.

"You are a fool for vanting to fight at a time like zis," replied Russia coolly.

"You…" FWAP! BANG! CRUNCH! TINKLE!

Of all the people… it had to be the hyperactive kid with strength that couldn't be human, and that kid with the pipe… I could never tell what he's thinking!

"Wh-why can't we all just get along?" I asked, startled at my own bravery. As soon as I let those words leave my mouth, I regretted it.

"We can't get along!" America shouted. "First you want me to get involved in your fight, and now you want me out?! Dude, you make no sense at all!" [2]

Fight? "W-what are you-"

"Kolkolkol…"

BANG! WHACK! BAM! That… that was definitely his appendix…

**X (Germany POV)**

Wh-where am I? My vison was blurred… was that a curl? "ITALY!" I shouted. "ARE YOU AVAKE?!"

"S-si…" he muttered, taken aback. We seemed to be in some sort of castle dungeon….

"Luffy?" I asked. He was sprawled on the ground, passed out. "Are you all right?"

"Ve~ I made pasta!" Italy said.

"Pasta?" said Luffy, and he sat up.

"Zat is our rations!" I shouted, and grabbed more than half of the uncooked pasta. "Ve must save zis until ve know vhere ve can find food."

"That's easy, sir!" said Italy enthusiastically, and he picked up a large stone, revealing a hidden passageway. "All the pasta we need is right here!"

Did Italy just… I mentally measured the width, height, and depth of the stone. The density of the granite was… "Italy… you do realize zat stone vas tvice your veight?"

"Eh?" he said, and dropped the stone on his foot. "GERMANY! GERMANY! MY FOOT IS-"

"Calm dovn," I said. "Your foot vill be okay, just bear vith it."

"VE~~~~!" Italy panicked.

"Hey, Italy!" I pointed in a random direction. "Is zat England running towards-"

"VEEEE~!" screamed Italy as he sprinted through the passageway.

"He does zat a lot," I explained to Luffy. "England is ze person who he eiz most afraid of-"

"Who's England?" asked Luffy.

Deutschland, you dummkopf! I forgot that we never told them England's real name! "I vill explain vonce Arsur regains his memory," I promised.

"Okay," said Luffy, and followed Italy into the tunnel by stretching his body and launching it forward. BANG! CRASH! "Hey! It's a kitchen!"

"Ve~!" sang Italy. "I told you! There's plenty of flour! Now we can make pasta~!"

I sighed. I had no choice but to follow them…

"V-ve! Wh-what do you want?!"

**X (Sealand POV)**

Zoro and Sanji were fighting…again. China and I were watching them choke each other without much interference. We were used to it. China had tried to stay away from Europe's wars for years, and as the little brother of the 'Black Sheep of Europe', I knew how many fights jerk-England got into.

"Aiyah, why must you fight so much?" complained China from the sidelines. China didn't mind me sitting next to him, even if I was jerk-England's brother. "We are stuck in a weird dungeon thingy and the first thing you do is fight?"

"Yes," said Sanji and Zoro in unison, halting their scuffle for just a moment. They broke out into another wrestling match seconds later.

China heaved another heavy sigh. "I wonder… how is Japan?"

"He should be okay," I said. "He should have ended up with someone. But I do wonder about jerk-Arthur…"

**X (Iggy POV)**

Japan and I sneezed at the exact same moment. "Someone is talking about us," said Japan. "I wonder who?"

"Probably your guys," said Franky. "Who else?"

"My brothers…" I said absentmindedly. "I have several older brothers, and all of them bully me…"

"I have heard of sat," said Japan. "Your blothers who live to se north and west-" He broke off. Something was behind us…

"LOOK OUT!" I shouted.

**X (Chopper POV)**

"Do you sink zat ve are vay too out-of-ze vay?" asked Austria.

He had a point. We were currently in a closed-off room with all the essentials: a water fountain in the corner, a cupboard stocked with food, a tiny air vent- and all the musical instruments man ever invented. "Probably…" I said.

"Oui, why must we be in this tacky music room?" France complained.

Austria stood up. "I vill not allow you to insult music!" he shouted. Was he about to show his true strength? "I vill now express my feelings through zis piano."

He began to play… it was beautiful…

**X CANONICAL OMAKE (Tashigi POV)**

The boy was… well, strange. The first thing that a normal person would have noticed was his clothes. A white cloak with red crosses and a tunic underneath… like a knight-wannabe. The next thing would have been his hair, which was straight-out silver. But the first thing I saw was his eyes. Blood red and aggressive, even more so than the pirates I've seen… and then came the sword. It was HUGE. Longer than he was tall, it had the look of a sword that was well-used and well-kept, but extremely well-forged. Not to mention that little yellow bird flying around his head… and the giant tube-gun thingy that was smoking…

"I cannot believe zat Zantetsuken Reverse…" he muttered, "giving me, ze awesome Preußen, vone line und von scene, und now all I get is zis omake!?"

Héderváry smacked him hard on the head. "Vhat are you babbling on about, Poroszország?!" he demanded.

"E-eh?!" Preu- Poro- whatever his name was- jumped back a few feet. "Ungarn?! Vhat are you doing here?!"

"I came here to look for Herr Ausztria," he retorted. "But who eeiz dis 'Zantetsuken Reverse' you're going on about?"

"Ze vone who only gave me two lines for ze last thirty-three chapters!" shouted… whatever his name was. "Curse you, Z-"

POOF! "All right, all right, I'm here," a voice called from above. A magpie settled onto a random branch. "Hi, I'm the author of this fanfiction, Zantetsuken Reverse," it said. I had no idea what gender it was, or why a magpie was talking in the first place. "The reason I am a magpie is to protect my identity, so I took a cue from manga authors and made an animal avatar."

"Okay… but why a magpie?" I asked.

"That was my editor's idea, my editor thinks my spirit animal is a magpie," it said. It turned to the red-eyed boy. "Prussia, quit whining or I'll take you off the spot for main character of the sequel fic."

"Sequel fic?" we all said in unison.

"Yeah, I've been planning it for ages," said the magpie… or author… or whatever. "You're one of the main characters. Not to mention 'So why do we have a Firebender on our team again?' where you're also a main character."

"I TOLD YOU I AM AWESOME!" shouted the boy.

The magpie turned to Héderváry. "You'll get a spot in the sequel, too." It turned to the rest of us. "It's not even in your universe, so don't get your hopes up."

"Awww…" moaned Mark. "I wanted a cameo…"

"It's a magical school, so I might be able to fit you in somewhere," said the magpie.

"Yay!"

"Is that all?" asked Smoker.

The magpie thought for a moment. "I think… I have these really great ideas that just evaporate the moment I try and write them down, so I might not be done… Oh, right. You guys get first scene next chapter."

"SWEET!" yelled Mark.

"Bye!" POOF! It disappeared in a flash of colorful light.

"What… was that all about?" I asked. No one could answer me.

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Richly dressed woman- If the flag wasn't enough of a hint, that was Maria Theresa, from the War of Austrian Succession. She is not Austria's wife.

[2] America and Russia's fights- In WW2 (may or may not be WW1); America was determined not to become involved. And then Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. THEN we got involved. (Ironically, the bombings were to discourage the Americans from attacking). Now, America is supposedly getting TOO involved in affairs that don't concern us/him (I'm American, so that's why I use 'us').

So Prussia's finally here, eh? Seriously, my editor thinks my spirit animal is a magpie.

Run-down:

Romano is on his own. Currently unconscious after killing zombies.

Spain is unconfirmed.

Nami and Robin shared secrets, Canada is with them.

Ussop is with America and Russia, who are still fighting.

Germany and Italy are together with Luffy. They found a kitchen, but Italy's in danger!

Sealand and China are watching Zoro and Sanji duke it out.

Iggy remembers his older brothers (Wales, Scotland, possibly Ireland), with Japan and Franky. Something is behind them.

Chopper, France, and Austria are stuck in a music room with a piano. Austria is playing the piano.

Hungary and Prussia are with the Marines.

Why is Prussia there? When will all the fights end? And who IS that figure, anyway?

Like the cameo? Guess what the universe the sequel will take place in… it's not exactly a sequel. It's directly after this fic, but no plot carries over. Some scenes will be referenced, but that's about it. In other words, if you have a friend who knows about Hetalia but not One Piece, then s/he can read it. I assume that most people have read the series I'll X-over with. It's very popular (read: NOT The Hunger Games).


	35. Chapter 35

I was wondering how to spell or say the 've' tick that Italy has. Some write it as 'veh', but I write it as 've'. Who's right?

Writing Prussia is fun! Super violent, breaks his own path through the plot… That's why he's so awesome, then. Sometimes, characters write themselves.

Chapter 35 (Tashigi POV)

Now that the magpie that claimed to be the author was gone, we could finally focus on the task at hand. Or at least, that was the idea.

"Vhat is vith de zweihänder and de bazooka, anyvay?" asked Héderváry. He knew him?

"You vould be surprised vhat you learn eein a veapons manufacturing factory," replied the red-eyed boy. "Und zere are plenty of material eein ze castle."

He paused for a moment. "Oh, I almost forgot." He picked up the giant tube thingy, which had stopped smoking by now, aimed it at a random spot, and yelled, "You sought zat you vere safe?!" BOOM! The giant tube shot out something huge, and the spot he was aiming for exploded. "Zat should take care of zem."

"Vhere do you get de ammunition?" Héderváry questioned. "I mean, how vould you find it just lying around?"

"Like I said, I AM AWESOME!" shouted the red-eyed boy.

"Well, right now I just want to know three things," I broke in. "Who are you, what you want, and your relationship with Héderváry is."

He looked at me. "Vell, I cannot say ze first sing I vant, [1]" he said, blowing the first question off entirely. "But after zat, I vant to rule ze vorld, but never having my name mixed up vith zat (he said something that sounded like a curse word, but in another language) Russland. I mean, how vould you mix up Preußen und Россия, anyvay?! (**A/N, Russia, Prussia, and Russia again, twice in German and once in Russian**) Oh, und I also vant to find Vest, and maybe zat (he used another unrecognizable word) England so zat I can turn to normal. I also vant a Playstation und Final Fantasy, more beer, vurst, a stable economy, a bigger bag of birdseed, a dozen coat hangers, testosterone so I can hit puberty, five meters of rope, two hundred meters of copper wire, my ex-boss Old Fritz back from ze dead, a stable job, und a pony. But I could probably steal vone from Polen…" (A/N **Poland**)

I sighed. Was this kid crazy? "You didn't answer two of my questions. Who are you, and how do you know-"

"Ve vere rivals vhen ve vere children," said Héderváry.

"Ja," said the red-eyed boy. Those eyes were really creepy… "You used to beat me up… not zat I'm afraid of you now!" He dropped the tube, and with one rapid movement, swung his huge sword with both hands, poised for Héderváry's neck.

Before any of us could react, Héderváry blocked the sword with a large, dark object. "Van becsület?!" (A/N **do you have any honor**!?) He yelled, and brought the object down on the red-eyed boy's head. Hard. So hard, that I was surprised that he was still standing.

"Ugh…" he groaned. "Did you really haf to hit me zat hard, Ungarm? I feel vorse zan ze time vhen I tried drinking Russland's vodka…"

"You tried to decapitate Héderváry!" yelled Mark. "Who wouldn't hit someone who tries to kill them?!"

"Vhat is your name?" asked the red-eyed boy.

"Ma-" Before Mark could finish his name; Héderváry clapped his hand over his mouth.

"Do not say your name," he whispered. "He hates anyting dat sounds like your name."

"That's pretty irrational, isn't it?" John said aloud.

Héderváry sighed. "Not as irrational as he is."

I leaned down to his height, which was about the size of a six-year old. "What's your name, anyway?"

"I um ze AWESOME Preußen!" roared the red-eyed boy. "But it is probably easier for you un-awesome people to say Prussia; vhich is also technically my name."

"You…" Commodore Smoker was visibly annoyed. Who was this brat, anyway, he seemed to be thinking. Finally, he bit back his annoyance and said levelly, "Look, we came here for two reasons. One, to hunt the pirate Straw Hat Luffy and his crew. Second, to evaluate the Shichibukai Gekko Moriah while at Thriller Bark. What are you doing here?"

"I don't know, because zat (unidentified) England transported me here!" roared Prussia. "Zat…" he muttered a few more curse words that I had no way of even understanding. "He even turned me into a little boy!"

So he's like Héderváry. He was de-aged, too, but to a greater extent. "Do you know who the person Héderváry is looking for?" I asked.

He thought for a moment. "Auztria? I remember seizing und occupying his vital regions…" he sighed. "Gut times… Zat eiz anozer sing zat I vant to do."

His… vital regions? This conversation was taking a more and more disturbing twist. "Why… why would you want anyone's vital regions? And you had them?"

He gave me another arrogant look. "I could tell you, but 'Héderváry' didn't sink you vere awesome enough to know vhy."

The sarcasm when he said Héderváry was so clear that I wondered if Héderváry was hiding anything. "Héderváry has nothing to do with this!" yelled Mark. "Cleaned out the entire fleet in only one day, best cabin boy we've ever had!"

Prussia grinned ever wider. "Cabin… boy?" he sniggered. "Vell, I must tell you," he said, and somehow appeared behind Héderváry. "'Héderváry'," he began, as he grabbed Héderváry's belt, "is actually a-"

WHAM! The dark object that Héderváry had was back in his hands, and he hit Prussia in the head twice as hard as he did earlier. This time, Prussia was lying on the ground, not moving at all. "Will he be okay?" I found myself asking.

"He vill be okay in a few hours," said Héderváry. "I do dis all de time." He rested the object on his shoulder, and I got a clear view of what it was- a frying pan.

"I'm surprised that he's still alive if you keep on doing this," muttered Mark.

"He has a hard head," replied Héderváry nonchalantly. He picked Prussia up and rested him on his shoulder. "Can ve take him along? He must know his vay around."

"Ch," muttered Commodore Smoker good-naturedly. "You've got a heck of a lot of lip, kid, talking to a superior officer like that."

"I'm actually tventy-two, und he is actually about ze same age," said Héderváry. [2]

"Twenty-two?!" I yelled, startled. "You're a year older than I am!"

"Zat is vhat you sink," said Prussia, suddenly aroused from his coma. "Héderváry is actually- Vhat?"

"Y-you survived a hit to the head… with a cast-iron frying pan…" John stuttered.

"It's actually carbon steel," corrected Héderváry. "I upgraded to a stronger vone vhen do old vone dented from overuse. It cooks vell, too."

"Steel… I can't believe it…"

"Do I have to say zis any more; I CAN BECAUSE I AM AWESOME!" Prussia bellowed to the world at large. He was starting to get on my nerves… he's way too arrogant.

Héderváry smacked him. "You idiot!"

Prussia glared at him, and yelled, "Zere is vone persone eein ze vorld who I am afraid ov, und it eeiz not you!"

"Oh? Den who is it?" Héderváry asked.

Prussia sighed in an ashamed sort of way. "Schweden," (A/N **Sweden**) he admitted.

Héderváry sighed. "Seriously, Poroszország, he's not dat-"

"He is," said Prussia in a final tone of voice.

"Why do you keep on changing your names?" I asked irritably. "One second you said to call you Preu… Preu… something, and then Prussia, and now Héderváry calls you Poros… I can't say it."

"Poroszország, but dat does not matter," said Héderváry. "It is his name in my language. Ungarm is my name in his language."

Ungarn? Héderváry? "That seems pretty far off the mark…" I said. [3]

"My real name…" said Héderváry shyly, "is actually Magyarország."

Real name? "You've been lying about your name this whole time?!"

Héderváry- or rather, Magyarország, shook his head. "Héderváry is as much my name as Ungarn or Magyarország. If it's easier, call me Hungary. But I have been lying to you…"

Smoker walked steadily towards him. "You…" he drew his jutte. "IDIOT!" WHAM! He caught Hungary right in the stomach.

"S-Smoker!" I protested, but he ignored me.

Prussia, however, took a more violent approach. In the blink of an eye, his sword- zweihänder- was in his hands. Less than a millisecond later, Smoker was standing in a guarding position, his jutte cut in half and his chest gushing blood. Eyes wide in shock, he muttered, "H-how…"

"Vhy ze Hölle did you attack Ungarn! No vone can do zat except for me und Vest!" he hollered, taking no notice of Smoker's shock. (A/N **Hölle means hell in German**)

"How did you hit Commodore Smoker?" I asked for him. "I mean, his body- his body's-"

"Muh-made of smoke…" gabbled John.

"Vait, vhat?!" shouted Prussia. "Your body is made of smoke!? Vhat are you a djinn!?"

Hungary dragged him off to the side and began chatting with him in his language. There was a lot of nodding and shaking of heads, even the act of waving a burning stick once or twice without any actual means of lighting it [4]. Finally, Hungary waved to us and called, "It's okay! I explained everything to him!"

"But you haven't explained anything to us," said Smoker coldly. "Why could he hurt me when I'm a Logia-type user? And you still haven't explained who you are, anyway."

Hungary opened his mouth to explain, but-

SLASH! More blood blossomed from Smoker's chest. "Vhy should Ungarn explain?! You vere ze vone who attacked him!" roared Prussia.

Click. I peered at the ground at Prussia's feet. "Oh no," I said. "I think you just stepped on a switch of some sort."

BOOM. "I think we should panic right now," said Mark.

X (Chopper POV)

Austria's music was wonderful… but how long was this piece, anyway? I opened my mouth to ask France, but he shushed me.

X (Germany POV)

What was happening? I followed Italy and Luffy into the kitchen, but they were nowhere in sight. "ITALY! LUFFY!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Ve… Germany?" Italy replied. I turned to the source of the voice, and he was crouching inside a cupboard. "I… I was so scared!" He jumped out of the cupboard and glomped me.

I pushed him aside. "Vhat happened here?" I asked. "Vhere's Luffy?"

"There's no meat!" cried Luffy, examining every nook and cranny.

I looked around. "But who vould leave only flour?" I asked. "Somevone who eizer did not find a use for it or vanted somevone else to find it for later…"

"OI! Is that spray-paint on the walls?" Luffy pointed to a spot labeled-

"The Awesome mich war hier," I read. "Ze Awesome me was here." I sighed. "Just like you, bruder."

"Ve, Prussia's here?" asked Italy.

"Stands to reason, he's the only one we haven't seen yet," I said. "But vhat scared you so much?"

Instantly, Italy went into hysterics. "V-ve!" he made a dozen body motions in rapid succession, which passed though my translator as, "An invisible man came in and framed the tissue on fire and shined my shoes pink with sparkly rainbow pasta!"

Either Italy was too frantic to speak- or rather, sign- properly, or something was definitely wrong with my internal translator. "Can you repeat zat?"

"Ve~ an invisible man came in! H-he t-touched my… he touched my…"

"Zat eeiz enough," I said. "But… Luffy, vas zat vone of your Devil Fruit users?"

X (Ussop POV)

TWACK! BAM! CRUNCH… I felt like I was in a room with two lions killing one another, knowing that I'd be eaten by the winner… I cowered in the corner, averting my eyes. "Hey, are you awake?" America tapped me on the shoulder. "It's okay! We killed all the zombies! We're heroes!"

I turned around. Russia was standing amidst the corpses… smiling. "Zey did not vant to become one with Mother Russia," he said. "So now zey are dead, da?"

Mother… Russia? "R-Russia?" I scarcely dared to ask. "Are you actually… a g-gi-gir-?"

"No, he's a guy," said America. "He's just crazy."

"Crazy?" repeated Russia, his evil aura shooting up like a rocket.

"You bet!" America lunged. Not again…

I walked over to what remained of the zombies, and gingerly set them on fire. No point in taking any risks… "But wh-why do we have to have ZOMBIES?!"

"Dude! All we need is to set them all on fire and we're home free!" said America optimistically.

"Are you not afraid of fire?" asked Russia serenely. "Your brothers burned down your house, after all."

"Don't you bring Iggy and Mattie into this!" roared America defiantly, but he didn't attack Russia. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. Arthur and Canada… burned his house down? But… why?

X (Chopper POV)

_Clink_. Austria hit the final key, finishing an incredible but long-winded piece. "Your anger is still Chopin?" asked France.

"I have not finished yet. You have gone too far to insult music," said Austria. Oh no… Another one?

_Plink_… I had to admit, it was still pretty nice…

X (Spain POV)

"C-come on," I said as another zombie lunged at me. I sliced it in half, and complained, "I should be having my siesta right now…"

"Then give up your shadow!" shouted another horde.

"My… sombra?" I repeated. "Seriously, how can I give up my shadow?"

"GRRRA-" they rushed towards me, but I cut down another ten with one stroke of my axe. I sighed. "You do not know when to give up, do you?"

A dog zombie dashed between me and the other zombies, and shouted, "You guys are coming along slow! Teams five and forty-seven have already taken a prisoner! It's a little kid, but they've made some progress, at least!"

A… kid? "Hey…" I said with a deadly calm voice despite my simmering anger. "That kid… what did he look like, amigo?"

"Hah! You want to know?" mocked the dog. "Well, it's a last mercy for you. It was a little kid, about five years old. Reddish brown hair… had a stupid curl on the side, too."

Curl? Romano! A fire I thought long extinguished blazed into being in my soul. A flame beaten out of me by England, the Netherlands, and America… The furious passionate spirit of the Conquistador that I once embodied bubbled up to the surface, incinerating all restraints built and forced upon me.

"Hey, looks like he's lost the will to live!" chattered a parrot zombie.

"Come on, let's go capture him!"

THUNK. In an instant, the dog zombie was cut into quarters, and the floor beneath it was carved into pieces. Despite the bloody spectacle, I smiled. "You have brought this upon yourselves, mis amigos."

Even the living dead began to shudder before my extreme aura. "Vamos a comenzar la masacre," I said. "In other words… let the massacres begin."

X (Iggy POV)

"Good thing you ducked in time, Japan," I said. "But we're still in a bloody mess right now."

"I aporogize, Alsur-san," said Japan.

"No, it's not your fault," I replied.

"Gyah, who would have thought that the thing that almost hit us from behind actually pressed a switch?" said Franky. "And that that switch would have dropped us down here, onto this platform supported only by a single pillar."

"Well, this is a bloody disaster."

X (Nami POV)

It won't matter if we know? "But how can one secret explain all the gaps?" I asked. "It would explain your lies, why you keep your real names secret, why they change so much, the fact that America has superhuman strength, Yao and Peter's real name… and… well, I can't even remember how much."

Canada looked guilty. "Actually… I lied to you about the rule where I couldn't tell you about the other's names. Yao's name is China. But it's also important for me not to tell you Peter's real name. It's way too close to the secret."

I slapped him. "I thought you wanted to tell us their names but couldn't!"

Canada remained stoic. "I did want to tell you… but I knew I couldn't. I had to make an excuse to-"

Creak… Robin was leaning on an outcropping stone, which slid into the wall. A switch…? The stones slid in and to both sides, forming the entrance to a passageway. I had to admit, it was impressive…

"A tunnel?" said Canada. "Looks like they want us to go in there…"

"It could be a trap," said Robin.

"But what choice do we have, anyway?" I retorted. "Let's go."

We were five steps in the tunnel when-

WHOOSH! Knife blades! They whirled at deafening speed from all directions, creating whistling noises as they shot past. "It's a machine!" shouted Robin. "It's a spring-loaded trap! Nothing can throw knives this rapidly from so many directions!"

"And how does that help us?!" shouted Canada.

"There's a pattern! If we can figure it out-"

"Stay in one place!" I shouted. "It's only a matter of time before it runs out of knives!"

Taking my advice, Canada and Robin stood still for five minutes before the last knife was launched. "Wait…" said Canada, examining a wall. "I recognize these traps…" He jolted, standing straight up. "This is…"

X (Sealand POV)

Zoro and Sanji suddenly stopped brawling and looked at a passageway. China nudged me, and pointed. "I sense something there…" he said, ready to pounce at a moment's notice.

"Yeah, I feel it too," said Zoro. "What about you, you stupid chef?"

"You think I can't sense something that obvious?!" shouted Sanji.

I reached for my gun, which was loaded with iron bullets, as always. Jerk-England told me that many monsters were vulnerable to iron but not steel. I actually thought that was rather illogical, since steel is just an alloy that included iron and carbon, but then again, if you mix water and a computer, the computer would probably stop being useful as a computer.

Whoa! Zombies lurched from the hallway, moving slowly and threateningly… which meant that they're easy targets. BAM! BAM! I nailed five in the head with only two bullets. Hey, their heads don't seem to be able to slow down a gunshot!

China and Sanji kicked more in the areas that they thought most vital, like their heads and necks with much splattering of blood and guts. Zoro was neater, cleanly slicing over half in two- until their innards fell out. BAM! I ruptured the spleens of several zombies with only one shot. Not bad for an immature micronation…

"Let's move!" shouted Zoro. "There's no point in staying here! Go through the passageway!"

Without thinking, the rest of us dashed past the zombies, into a corridor, and found-

"Jerk-Arthur?" I said.

"Franky?" said Zoro and Sanji in unison.

"Japan?" said China.

The three of them were standing on some sort of platform raised by a pillar.

That extended five feet from the ground. At the sight of us, Jerk-England blushed. "I- I knew that it was only a few feet to the ground!" he said like the tsundere he was.

"If you knew, why did you not tell us?" asked Japan politely, genuinely confused.

"That was sarcasm, idiot!" shouted Franky.

"Great," I said. "Now, we're together… so, do you think we can find the others?"

X (New figure POV)

Where was I? It was dark, but I could deal. My burning desire lit up the night… or, rather, it was the mountain of corpses that I set ablaze. Soon, I would find him…

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] The first thing that Prussia wants that he can't tell the Marines- he wants to be reinstated as a full nation again.

[2] Hungary and Prussia's ages- I made them up. Hungary just seems the type to be twenty-two, and Prussia seems to be about the same age as Iggy (physically 23), but is younger than Hungary.

[3] Hungary in other languages, her human name, 'far off the mark'- how did we get 'Hungary' from Magyarország?! I mean, how did they get Ungarn from Magyarország, anyway?

[4] Prussia's torches- you know how witches were burned? It's like that. He thought it was heretic…

The Marines met Prussia, someone hit a switch.

Italy, Germany, and Luffy are in a kitchen with an invisible man (coughcough ABASALOM coughcough).

Romano has been kidnapped.

Spain has gone berserk in his psycho-Conquistador mode.

Nami, Robin, and Canada find a trap. Canada recognizes something.

Iggy, Franky, and Japan meet with China, Zoro, Sanji, and Sealand.

There is a new mysterious figure.

Oh, and Chopper, France, and Austria are still in the music room. Austria is still playing the piano.

Who will meet who next? What did Canada see? And when will Austria stop playing the piano?


	36. Chapter 36

The thing with long chapters is that they take so long to write, so by the time I get to the end, I can't remember what I wanted to write a note about.

The Marines take center stage for this section.

I can't believe that I forgot to upload chapter 35! What happened to me!?

Chapter 36 (Tashigi POV)

Ugh… my leg… "REPORT!" roared Smoker.

"Tashigi… here…" I groaned.

"John, here…"

"M-Mark- GYAH, WHY ARE YOU POINTING THAT GUN AT ME?!"

"Smith… wait, who're there!?"

Prussia was standing on Mark, and held a gun threateningly.

I slapped it out of his hands with my sword. "Why are you-"

"Es tut mir leid," he seemed to apologize. "I just go crazy vhenever someone says ze vord…"

"Ma-" Smith tried to supply the missing word, but then we all shouted, "DON'T SAY IT!" to stop Prussia from going wild again.

"Hey, where's He- I mean, Hungary?" asked John.

I glanced around. We were in a dungeon-like setting, but there was no sign of him. "All right, Prussia, lead the way," said Smoker.

Eh? "Commodore, why him?" I asked. "He's totally immature and crazy, even though he is older than I am…"

"It is because I AM AWE-"

"Please, don't say it," said Smith irritably. "We've had enough without you here."

"ZEN VHY DID YOU LET UNGARN COME VIS YOU, ANYVAY?!" shouted Prussia.

"There's someone on this ship that Hungary wants to find," I said. "What was his name again…?"

"Österreich," he answered. "Zat eeiz heiz name eein our language. You can call him Austria. Here, I have a painting of him." He rummaged though his bag and produced a large canvas.

"Why does he look like he was just beaten up?" asked Mark.

"Becauze I vas ze vone who beat him up ein ze first place!" shouted Prussia. "I hired a painter to paint his defeated-"

"Tashigi is right, you are crazy," said John.

Prussia sighed. "I have been called vorse," he said. "You haven't been insulted until you have met Süd-Italien, or as you un-awesome people would call him, Lovino Vargas. Even at ze age of five, he cursed and kicked like a pirate. Now… he's still as angry und aggressive as ever. But he's veak, so zat's okay."

"Weak?" I repeated. "Why would you say-"

"It's the truth," he said. "Vell, he could hold his own if necessary, but ozervise he's veak."

"How old is-"

"Twenty-one," he said. "And if you think he's crazy, wait til you meet my best friends."

"You have friends," said Smith. "Yeah right. They must be as crazy as you are."

"Hah, almost!" Prussia agreed. "One's a complete pervert/rapist, and the ozzer eeiz vone of ze few who actually can put up vis Lovino. He's alvays happy, unless… he eeiz also ze most bipolar person I know."

"Bipolar?" I repeated.

"Vell, not actually bipolar, but-"

"GYAAA-" THUNK! Noises were coming from behind the other side of the wall!

"Come on!" shouted Smoker, already dashing along the corridor. "There might be someone in trouble!"

We followed him, along twisting corridors and winding passageways, blindly running after Smoker's trail. At last, we came to a door.

"P-please-" THUM! More groans of agony echoed from behind the door. "It's not locked," said John. "Are you ready?"

We nodded. "Then let's go!" he kicked the door open, pistol raised-

And stared at the scene before us. We were in a gigantic room, with so many details that I had trouble seeing where to start. The walls appeared to formerly have been white, but there were so many splatters of blood all over the place that the original color had faded. There were several doors on the opposite side, but I had trouble seeing it. A mountain of corpses blocked out view, each with a terrified expression over their faces. "D-don't kill me!" shouted a vaguely humanoid shape.

SPLAT! A hunched over figure in front of it whirled a large axe, and its blood flew everywhere. A few drops caught on my glasses, but I was too shocked to care. The murdering figure stood up straight, and I caught the first glance of its eyes… green as fields in summer, yet totally cold and merciless…

"I VILL SEIZE UND OCCUPY YOUR VITAL REGIONS!" shouted Prussia. How did he get behind it?!

"P-Prussia! R-run-"

Too late. I heard a loud crunching noise, like a bone being broken and- "Prusia! You look like a ten year old again! It's been too long!" shouted the figure, glomping Prussia to no end.

"Kesesese~! I know, Spanien!" replied Prussia. They knew each other?! "Where have you been all zis time?!"

"Ah, I'll tell you all about it!" said the figure happily. "I can't believe you still wear that thing!"

"Vhait til you see vhat Schwiez vears to bed!" laughed Prussia. "Frilly pink pajamas zat Liechtenstein sewed for him!" (A/N **Switzerland is Schwiez in German**)

_Time to stop the joyful reunion_, I thought. "Who is this, anyway?"

Prussia looked at us. "Zis eeiz ze friend I vas talking about!" he shouted. "Ze bipolar vone, Spain!"

"Hola!" he greeted us, a broad smile in his face. His eyes had changed, warmer and friendlier. But deep down in his eyes, I saw that he was either totally innocent or completely psychotic. Or both… "By the way, I'm not actually bipolar, just passionate."

"B-but… you just killed all these people…" said Smith.

"No, look," said John. "They're all zombies!"

He was right. There were stitches on every one of them. How could I have not seen this earlier?

"But… vhy did you go into you psycho-conquistador mode?" asked Prussia. Psycho-what now? "I mean, you're only like zat vhen…"

Spain's aura reverted back to its menacing, cold state. "They kidnapped Romano…" he said icily. The words "They will pay" hung in the air, unspoken.

"Vhat happened to you, anyvay?" asked Prussia. "I vas here ze whole time, killing zombies, drinking beer, eating vurst, and generally being awesome. Ungarn's here, too."

"Really!?" shouted Spain enthusiastically.

"You tell me vhat happened first," said Prussia.

"Well, some of us were de-aged and we were drifting for a few days on Peter's ship," began Spain, "and we met these pirates at some island, I can't remember what it was called, but anyway Inglaterra was there! But we can only can him Arthur because he lost his memory."

Prussia made an irritated noise. "You mean zat he can't send us home?!" he shouted. He paused. "Und you left me to hang out vis two hyperactive kids, my little brother, ze tvins, your ex-husband-"

"Ex-husband!?" I repeated.

"Prus~sia!" shouted Spain. "Austria forced me to marry him, it's not like I wanted to do it!"

Ex…husband… "Are you… a guy?" asked Mark. [1]

"Yes," he said.

"That's weird."

"So is he."

"Vait til you see vot he did vis Italy," said Prussia. "Forced him to dress like a maid until he hit puberty. Zen again, he sought zat he vas a girl… by ze vay, I sought you hated pirates, Spain. Vhy vere you vis zem?"

"I do hate pirates, but they were nice," he said. "The captain was some kid, I think his name was Luffy or something…"

Luffy!? "Straw Hat Luffy!?" shouted Smoker. "You mean you were with him!?"

"Si," he replied. "Is there a problem?"

"Only that he's one of the most notorious pirates around!" I said vehemently.

"Why, what did he do?" he asked.

Let's see. "First, he's a pirate… he defeated several other pirates, and then… he attacked the Marines several times… and he freed the criminal Nico Robin."

"She's a criminal?" repeated Spain. "But what did he do wrong? Did he loot villages or ships or…?"

I looked at Smoker. "Commodore, what did he do, anyway?"

He was silent. "Commodore?" I repeated.

"Arthur… that names sounds familiar…" he said. "What is his last name?"

"Kirkland," said Spain obliviously. "Why?"

Smoker whipped out his jutte, miraculously restored. "You're under arrest for association with a criminal!" he shouted.

"Eh?"

"W-wait, what do you mean?" I said. "Who's this Arthur Kirkland?"

"He's a legend in his own time," began John. "You may not have heard of him, but he was a Yonko back in his day."

"I thought he was dead," said Mark. "It's been how long? Twenty years?"

"Maybe he isn't the same person," said Smith. "How common are those names, anyway?"

"Nine, he eeiz ze same person," said Prussia.

"Not helping!" shouted Spain.

"But this Arthur… is he here?" I asked.

Spain nodded. "Somewhere… I think. Everyone who was in the meeting room with us back then should be here somewhere."

"And Ungarn somehow got here," said Prussia.

"And I think that someone named Lukas was involved somehow," I added. "I don't think he's here, but I think he might have teleported Hungary here."

"Noruega?" repeated Spain.

"Norwegen?" said Prussia. "But zen… eeif he could get Ungarn here, zen vhy didn't he tey to get us out?"

"Who knows," said Spain resignedly. "Hungaria came to find Austria, right? But maybe he thought that someone else would have wanted to look for someone else we came with, so he didn't leave so that he could help whoever came."

"But who vould come all zis vay to search for someone?" asked Prussia. "Besides Ungarn. Who vas vis us zat has somevone zat cares a lot about zem?"

"There's Italy," suggested Spain. "He and Romano have another brother. And there's Russia, and Peter, and…"

Prussia and Spain broke out in faces of pure terror. "Oh (unidentified word)."

X (Nami POV)

"This is probably Prussia's doing," said Canada, as we walked down the hallway. "This trap, I mean. Flying daggers shot periodically that sign 'I am awesome' in Morse code? That's him, all right…"

"He sounds crazy," I said. "But that is a cool trap."

"Wait til you see the one with the liverwurst and the water-powered landmines…" said Canada.

"How does that even work?" asked Robin.

"I don't know, but he managed to make it," he replied. He stopped suddenly. "D-did you hear that?" He whipped out his hockey stick. "It sounded like… a scream…"

_Yah_… it was faint, but I heard an echo from far off. "I hear it too," I said, Clima-tact in hand. _Yaa_… "I think it's getting closer."

"YAAAAAA!" an earsplitting screech bounced off the walls, effectively paralyzing us. "YAAA-"

SQUELCH! A sound like a knife stabbing a sack of liquid reverberated, and ended the noise. "Это научит вас, зомби," said a female voice. (A/N **That will teach you, zombie**.)

Canada shuddered. "Oh, maple… Robin, Nami, run. Don't look back or else-"

WHANG! Another knife flew past, and landed inches from Canada's face. "Вы ... Вы Канаде, не так ли?" said the same, quiet female voice. (A/N **You… you are Canada, are you not**?)

Canada shuddered even more. "Da," he replied. "Вы не Беларусь?" (A/N **Aren't you Belarus**?)

"Da," replied the voice. "Где ... где ты прячешься мой старший брат!" (A/N **Where… where are you hiding my big brother**!?)

Canada backed off slowly. "Я не знаю!" (A/N **I don't know**!)

THUNK! A figure thrust a knife right next to Canada's face. "M-maple!" shouted Canada.

BLOOM! Robin used her power to restrain the figure, who, in the light, looked like a- "Six year old girl!?" shouted Robin. She let go.

"G-guys…" stuttered Canada. "Th-this is Russia's little sister… Belarus."

I had absolutely no trouble seeing why he was so terrified of her. Even though she looked like a little girl, with a cute dress and a ribbon in her hair, she had a knife stained with the blood of countless people…

X (Chopper POV)

I wondered to myself how we were sitting here for… an hour? Two hours? There was no way this was good for my body…

X (Sealand POV)

"All right, so I admit that it would be a bit of a shock to find yourself on a small platform," I said. "But it was still bloody hilarious watching your expression!"

"Hmph," said jerk-England. "Then shut the bloody hell up."

"Harsh, aren't you?" said Zoro.

"To anyone and everyone," I said. "Except for you guys and Robin."

"But why are you harsh with Peter and not with Robin?" asked Franky.

"Idiot! It's because Robin-chan's a girl!" said Sanji.

"…No. No, that's not it," said jerk-England. "Something happened while I was gone… something big… Why… am I crying?"

Tears were dripping down my older brother's face. "C-Canada? France…? A…Am…Americ-c-c-ca!?"

The American Revolution? Was that what he was remembering?! "C-calm down!" I shouted. That was the most traumatic time of his life! [2]

"A…America?" England uttered one final word, and fainted dead away.

"Arthur!" all of us shouted at the same time. "ARTHURRRRR!"

X (Germany POV)

"One of my Devil Fruit users who was in here?" repeated Luffy.

"As eein, vone of your vorld's users," I clarified.

"Ve~ I think it was," said Italy unhelpfully.

"How should I know!?" shouted Luffy.

"How can ve know?" I retorted.

"True," said Luffy.

I slapped my hand to my head. This guy… he's just like Italy… almost.

"HEEEY!" roared a random zombie. Another one? "You, with the stupid curl!"

"Ve?" said Italy cluelessly.

"FIGHT ME!"

"V-VVE~?!"

The zombie smirked. "Of course, not a real fight… just a fencing match."

"…" _Liar_, I thought. _He was definitely lying._

"Phew," Italy sighed a sigh of relief. "Ve~ for a moment I thought I'd really die from fighting you!"

"Have a fun fight!" said Luffy.

"V-vait…"

The zombie drew a rapier from its sheath- in its own body… Eugh. "Let's start, shall we?"

He sprinted forward, before Italy even had a sword in his hands- "ITALY!"

Never in my life had I seen such an incredible burst of speed from anyone, let alone Italy. He wasn't even running away and… well, I'd best describe it now.

The next moment I saw, the zombie was sliced at several irregular angles, and fell to the ground in pieces. Italy was standing in front of it, rapier in hand. "Ve… I'm so sorry!" he shouted, freaking out. "Th-that was a friendly match, wasn't it?! I'm, sorry I cut you up like that!" [3]

Italy… he's that good at fencing!? When he's not afraid, he has no limits…

Little did we know that someone was watching us from afar… "So that woman's name is Italy, eh?" said an invisible lion-headed…thingy. "Such power, charm, and beauty… She, Thief-Cat Nami, and the Devil's Child Robin… all three of them will become my brides~!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Spain and Austria's marriage- unlike Austria and Hungary, Spain married Austria by way of their bosses. Their bosses (or relatives of them) got married, and Spain because under the House of Hapsburg.

[2] America Revolution, most traumatic- I am trying not to be biased when I say that America leaving is the most traumatic thing in Iggy's life. The thing is, America was the first person (besides his mother, Britannia) who he really opened his heart to.

[3] Italy and fencing- supposedly, Italy is extremely skilled at fencing. Also, he and Romano are not actually weak, but afraid to used their strength. I just wanted to give them that scene.

Why did Iggy pass out? Where is Hungary? And when will Austria stop playing the piano?


	37. Chapter 37

Hello, everyone. Happy holidays! In honor of the holiday spirit, there's going to be some Finland!

I learned about the filibuster in American politics. In the Senate, a Senator can hold the podium and talk for as long as they want, delaying laws. Now there has to be a 60% vote to get them off, but it used to be that they'd have to have a unanimous agreement to stop him- even the guy talking had to agree to stop! But imagine this scenario- a Senator is holding a filibuster, and he wants to stop, but there's another Senator who doesn't want him to stop! He'd have to hold his filibuster until he passes out, and he's get arrested for stopping. Crazy politicians.

Chapter 37 (Tashigi POV)

Prussia and Spain exchanged looks of terror. "D-do you really think that Belarus is going to come?" asked Spain nervously.

"Vhy not?" said Prussia. "Russland's here, und…"

"Who's this 'Belarus'?" I asked. "Why are you afraid of him?"

"Her," corrected Spain. "Belarus is a girl. And she…"

"Tongue-tied around her?" teased John. "Got a crush?"

"No, you don't understand…" said Spain. "Belarus is… Imagine the most insane maniac you know. Then image that he or she has an evil little sister."

Oh. "So she's not a crush, then," said John.

"Even if ve did haf a crush, she'd still…" Prussia shuddered. "I almost feel sorry for Litauen." (A/N **Lithuania**).

Spain nodded silently. "He still likes her… and she hates him," he said nervously. "But it's probably better that she hates him… you saw what she does with Russia…"

"Who's Russia?" asked Mark.

"Her older brother," Spain sweated. Prussia cursed in some strange language, but Spain continued with, "Belarus wants to get married to him."

The words 'married' weighed heavily throughout the corridor. "But…" Smith began. "They're siblings, aren't they…?"

"That's why she's crazy," said Spain. "Right, Prussia?"

Prussia was silent, but he was shaking. Rage? Fear? Excitement? I couldn't tell at all…

"All right," said Smoker. "Break's over, let's move out!"

"Vhy do ve haf to follow you?" grumbled Prussia.

Spain sighed, and said something that sounded vaguely like, "We don't have anywhere to go, we might as well stay with them," judging by his tone.

"Fine," Prussia complained.

The air took on a chill wind. Bells swished around… What was going on? Was that… a sled? And reindeer…

"Hello, everyone!" shouted a voice from the sled.

"F-Finland!?" shouted Spain and Prussia in unison. "V-vot are you doing here!?"

The sled- sleigh, I corrected myself- landed in front of us. The driver, a happy young man wearing all red, vaulted out of it and handed Smith, who was nearest, a box wrapped with a ribbon. "Hi!" he said enthusiastically to those of us who didn't know him. "I'm Finland, but right now I'm Santa!"

"What?" said the bewildered Smith. Of course he was confused. He was just handed a gift from a guy he didn't even know.

"I take the job of Santa ever Christmas," explained Finland.

"But it's not even Christmas!" shouted Prussia.

Finland sighed. "You're right. But the author wanted me here, and [**gender undisclosed**] didn't want to wait until Christmas to update…" He was taken aback. "Wait, why did I just say gender undisclosed? He, she… the author's gender is [**undisclosed**]…"

"[**Gender undisclosed**] does zat," said Prussia. "You just haven't hung around here long enough."

"Oh," said Finland, accepting the whole thing like it was normal. He rummaged through a giant sack, picked out a whole bunch of presents, and handed them out. "Here, I have to get to the others. Näkemiin!" he waved goodbye at us, and boarded his sleigh. It rose in the air like a magic broomstick, and he flew out of sight.

"Hey, Prussia?" said Spain nervously. "Do you think… that…?"

"Sink vot?" said Prussia.

"Don't you think that we could have asked him for a ride home?" said Spain. "I mean, how else did he get here if he didn't have a way back?"

Prussia slapped himself, and shouted, "YOU STUPID AUTHOR! CURSE YOU, ZANTETSUKEN REVERSE!"

X (Nami POV)

"You're Russia's little sister?!" I said after a moment of shudders. "You look almost nothing alike."

Belarus lowered her knife, but she was still poised to strike. Canada kept on speaking in another language, something along the lines of, 'Calm down'. Belarus appeared to let up a little. At least that was a start…

WHANG! Belarus threw her knife at Canada, missing by a fraction of an inch and embedding itself into the stone behind him. She then yelled something at Canada, and stalked off. Canada's knees gave way, and he let out a sigh of relief. "I told her everything," he said quietly, so we had to strain to hear. "But I let slip that Arthur turned Russia into a kid again, so she swore to kill him."

"And you're not worried?" said Robin.

"Not really," said Canada. "Arthur can defend himself. A-as long as Russia's not there…"

Belarus turned around, and shouted, "What are you waiting for?! Get over here!"

Robin and I looked at each other. She can speak English!? Why is it that they can all speak each other's languages at the drop of a hat!? "I think we should hurry before she starts throwing knives around again," I said, and Robin nodded.

"I wonder how she and Russia grew up, if they're both like that," said Robin. "I wonder how their older sister is… just as crazy, probably."

"She's actually really nice," said Canada in a low voice. "She apologizes all the time for stuff that isn't her fault… And she's the one who raised Russia and Belarus. No, she's not the reason why they're insane. It's Russia's fault, really."

"But why was she the one to-" I began, but Canada shook his head.

"I'm not going to lie to you any more than I already have," he said with conviction. "As a matter of fact, most of what I told you two were lies. America and I are twins, but we are in no way related to France or Arthur. Arthur's mother was dead by the time he adopted America. France never knew his parents. Peter really is Arthur's biological brother, not a distant relative. And even if the timestream is different, it doesn't flow faster here… It'll all make sense when you know… [1]"

That left me with more questions than answers. How did Arthur adopt America when he's only four years older than he is? Where did Peter fit into the equation? Where was he when America ran away?

TWANG! "Hurry up!" shouted Belarus, throwing a knife that landed where my hand was a moment ago. Just how I predicted… "Where are you, big brother Russia?" she asked the world at large. "Come back~ so that we can become one~"

All three of us shuddered. "I feel sorry for Russia for having a sister like that," said Robin.

X (Ussop POV)

Russia sneezed. I didn't know he could sneeze… it just seemed, well, too _human_ for him. He seemed like a force of nature until now…

America stopped in his tracks. "What happened, dude?"

Russia shivered. "I sink zat… my little sister is here…"

Something went between them that I didn't understand. "Your sister… Belarus? She's the one who wants to marry you, right?" I said meekly.

Russia shuddered. "I do love her, but she loves me a little too much…"

More zombies swarmed at us, but since America and Russia were here, I wasn't that afraid…

CTCH! A short blade sprouted from the wall, and was jerked back by an unseen force. A young girl's voice uttered something in a language so foreign that I couldn't even spell the letters of the words…

Russia and America blanched. "Guys, whatever you do, stay quiet!" shouted America.

CRASH! The wall crumbled at the might of- a six year old girl? Robin, Nami, and Canada emerged from the cloud of dust, thoroughly shocked. Canada was babbling in another language, while Nami was slowing backing away and Robin used her Flower power to scan for any exits.

"MATTIE!" shouted America as he-tackle-hugged Canada.

"Ugh…" Canada groaned, and America released him. "There might just be one part of my body that hasn't been ruptured, broken, or shattered…"

"BIG BROTHER!" shouted the unfamiliar girl, and she hugged Russia affectionately. Russia smiled a genuine, non-psychotic smile… for all of ten seconds. Then the girl said, "Now Big Brother will marry me, da?"

Russia's smile broke out into an expression of pure horror. "There's no way that you're called Belarus," I said.

"B-bad move," said Canada, and he moved to the side silently. Belarus glared at me, and the next thing I knew, I was pinned to the wall by my clothes by several knives… that sentence didn't make any sense, did it? But I'm too scared to care…!

Belarus said something unrecognizable, but then Russia stopped her from doing any lasting damage with a few words. She then glomped him.

I let out a sigh of relief. One crisis averted…

Thump… Something landed outside… I looked out of a conveniently placed window. A sleigh pulled by reindeer greeted my eyes, along with-

"Hi!" said an eager voice. I spun around, and this guy wearing all red was there!

"Finland?" asked Canada.

"Финляндия…" said Belarus.

"Финляндия," confirmed Russia.

"Who are you?" asked Nami.

"Oh, sorry," said the guy. "I'm Finland, but right now I'm Santa!"

"What?" the three of us who had no clue said in unison.

"Every year on Christmas, I'm the one who delivers presents to people! Here you go," he said, handing me a parasol.

"Th-thank you, but-"

"Hold on," said Finland, distracted by his bag. He tossed each of us a box wrapped with a ribbon. "Merry Christmas!" he smiled at us.

"Wait," said Canada. "You-"

Finland bowed to us in a hasty but apologetic manner. "I'm sorry, but I have to go deliver some more presents! Bye now!"

He somehow managed to get though the debris unharmed, and flew (!) away on the sleigh…

"What did 'ya want to ask him, Mattie?" asked America.

"I thought that he could get us home…" said Canada. "He must have gotten here somehow…"

"Kolkolkol… why did you not sink of zis sooner?"

X (Sealand POV)

Unable to wake him, I lifted jerk-England over my shoulder and carried him as we walked. Zoro offered, but I was fine with the burden, since I was made of metal and couldn't break under the strain. But something was wrong… random pictures and sounds flashed through my head like a mixed-up PowerPoint on steroids. Scotland's booming voice roared randomly, and I thought I saw Queen Victoria somewhere. "He's regaining his memories," I said out loud.

"How do you know?" asked Zoro.

"Jerk-Arthur and I share a subconscious," I said without thinking. [2]

Franky, who was in front, stopped, forcing the rest of us to halt. "You what!?"

"If you are in front, then move!" shouted China. Franky started walking, but he was still waiting for me to answer.

"Long story," I said quickly. "But basically, we always have the exact same dreams. But since he's unconscious, I'm seeing what he's seeing."

"Cool!" said Franky.

_Ouch… my heart! London was on fire-_

China jabbed me in several spots, and the pain subsided. "You are okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Jerk-Arthur just remembered the Fire of London, so I saw it, too," I explained. "Try not to be surprised if I answer a question that no one asked, or if I start saying that my back hurts or something."

"_You flobby-wanded dementor boggerer!"_[3]

"Son of a ban-! Sorry," I caught myself.

"Is that what you meant?" asked Zoro dryly.

"Yes," I said. "So whatever I say, I'm not actually-"

"_Ahh!" screamed a clumsy chef. "My head is on fire!"_

"Hold still!" I shouted. "I'll put it out!"

China looked at me strangely. "You are okay?" he asked. "I have ancient recipe for headache and insanity. Just give me time to crush the ginger-"

"I'm not insane!" I shouted.

"That's what they all say," said Zoro.

I heaved a heavy sigh. There's no point in arguing with that logic.

"Your strange Western ways are confusing," said Japan.

"What do you mean by-?"

BOOM! I heard the sound of crumbling stone, and I spun around to the source. A boy about my age was standing there with a heavy metal object, yelling something sporadically in a mix of German and Hungarian.

Japan's eyes went wide. "H-Hangari-san?" he asked.

I took a good, long look at the kid. That was Hungary!? I knew she did look like a boy until she hit puberty, but wow… I thought they meant that she was just a tomboy! "You're H-!?"

"Igen," she replied, temporarily distracted from her rage. "Vhy vouldn't I- oh." She looked down at her own body.

"How did you get here?" asked China.

"I asked Lukas to help," said Hungary. "I was looking for Herr Auztria, but somesing vent wrong, so I ended up like zis." She indicated to her body.

"Lukas knows?" asked Japan. "Sen why did he not help us?"

"I sink he vanted to help anyvone else who asked, so he stayed on the surface. But he might be planning somesing zat vould help us… by ze vay, vhy is your broser unconscious?"

Japan explained everything to her in rapid Japanese, which she nodded to. "Oh. Zen I von't hit him vis my frying pan," she said. "Until he regains his memory, zat is."

"How long have you been looking for Austria?" asked Franky. "We saw him back in the last island."

"So did I," she replied. "I tried to look for him zere, but I got sidetracked and I did not have enough time to leave. So I joined ze Marines to- vhy are you looking at me like zat?"

Franky and Sanji were looking at Hungary with identical looks of pure horror. "Y-you joined the Marines?!" shouted Franky.

"Igen," said Hungary, oblivious.

The next thing I knew, Hungary was holding both Sanji and Franky in headlocks, with ammo dropping out of Franky's left arm and Sanji's legs disabled by Hungary's. "Do you have any honor!?" she shouted into their ears.

Sanji tried to loosen his legs free, but Hungary flipped them both judo-style and twisted their arms. "Vhy did you-"

"I tord you, sey are pilates," said Japan serenely. "It is natural for sem to be suspicious of a Maline."

Hungary let go, and they collapsed to the ground. "You-" Sanji sprang up to kick her, but she bashed him in the head with her frying pan.

"It's not worth it," said Zoro. "You'll just end up on the ground again."

Sanji glared at him with an intensity I only saw with jerk-England and France. Russia and America? Only this century, maybe last century too [4]. Jerk-England and France have been fighting for _ages_. "Is that why you're still standing?" he asked.

"Not just that," he said. "We don't have any reason to attack every Marine that comes our way. Smoker wasn't that bad, he was just doing his job. He's a Marine, we're pirates. Besides, I used to be a pirate hunter."

"You know Commodore Smoker!?" shouted Hungary. "He vas ze vone who let me in!"

Zoro looked at her in shock. "That means… _she's_ here too!"

"Tashigi?" she asked. "Also, zere is John, Smith, Mark… oh, and that idiot Poroszország, too."

"So that's where he was this whole time…" I said. "How is he?"

She sighed. "Crazy as ever…"

"He wouldn't be Prussia otherwise," I said. "Is he a kid, too?"

"Igen," she said.

"What does 'Igen' mean, anyway!?" shouted Sanji in a fit of rage.

"It means yes," she said, but I could see that she saw the argument just waiting to happen.

"Then why don't you just say yes like a normal person!?" he yelled, his head in her face.

"Zat is my language!" she shouted, so close that their foreheads touched.

"I don't care, little boy!"

"Little boy!? I am-"

BRAANG! Someone hit a large gong, distracting Hungary and Sanji from their fight. Finland! Dressed as Santa! "Hi!" he shouted jovially.

"**Finland**?" said me, Hungary, China, and Japan in almost-unison, since we each said his name in a different language.

"Kiina? Unkari? Japanissa? Meri Maa?" he said. Since I wasn't an actual nation, there was no word for my name in Finnish, so he called me by a combination of the words 'sea' and 'land'. All the other nations called me by that formula except for the ones with English as a primary language, and China, who called me 'Xi-Lan-De'. I never quite figured out why.

"Who are you?" asked Sanji, suspicious and angry that his fight was stopped.

"I'm Finland," said Finland. "But… I'm Santa tonight, so I'm here to deliver presents!" He handed the bewildered Sanji a barrel with a bow on it.

"Oh, thanks," he said, not really sure what was going on.

Finland handed each of us something, and said, "I'm very busy tonight, so I have to go now. Bye!" He dashed down a corridor, waving at us as he went.

After a long, awkward pause, Japan finally said, "I wonder why he did not offer to take us home."

Hungary wheeled on him. "You mean zat you vould abandon Herr Auztria!?"

"I- I did not mean it like sat," said Japan.

"Wait, when did you think of that?" I asked.

"As soon as he came in," he said. "Should I have asked?"

China slapped himself. "Yes. You should have."

X (Chopper POV)

At last, Austria's fingers stopped moving across the piano. With a sigh, he leaned back. "Und zat eeiz my anger."

"Chopin?" said France. "You anger is Chopin?"

Austria shot France an irritated look. "Ja," he said pompously.

Knockknockknock… someone rapped on the door, and opened it. A skinny young man wearing all red came in… smelling like reindeer! I went closer to have a sniff. "Hi!" he said to all of us. "I'm here as Santa today!"

"Ah. Finland," said Austria, as if he was expecting him. "Vot do you haf today?"

The guy smelling of reindeer grinned, and handed Austria a box wrapped in wires. "Here you go. Merry Christmas!"

He then gave France a tightly sealed package. "Don't open it until you're off screen," he whispered. "The author won't like it…"

He turned to me. "Here. I thought you wanted it."

What the- a box full of syringes! "Th-thank you!" I said heartedly.

He smiled and nodded. "Well, I have to go. Have a nice holiday!" With a smile, he left opened the door to leave the room-

"Vait!" shouted Austria. "Vhy can't you bring us home?"

Finland turned around, and shyly shook his head. "Uh… It's against the rules for me to do that… Interdimensional work is a messy business, even if you work as Santa part-time."

With that, he hastily slammed the door shut.

Austria was fuming. "He sinks zat he can talk back to me like zat? Zis is var!" He sat back down on the chair. "The piano vill now haf my feelings expressed through eeit."

The piano… I had no idea how good it could sound…

X (Germany POV)

"Did you hear zat?" I asked. "Someting like a man declaring zat he vill marry you, Nami, und Robin…"

"Nope," said Luffy. "Why would he want to marry me?"

"I van't talking about you!" I said.

"Uh… is this a good time to interrupt?" asked a familiar boyish voice. Finland!

"Ve~ Finland!" cried Italy, and he hugged him.

"H-hey, Italy!" said Finland happily. "It's been so long!"

"VE!"

"Oh, right," said Finland. "As Santa, I'm here to give each of you a gift."

He handed Luffy a large box. "Don't eat it all at once!"

"YAY! MEAT!"

"And for you, Germany, a crate of beer!"

"Danke," I said. At least it wasn't like last time…

"And Italy, a new pot!"

"Ve~" It was amazing how Italy could convey an entire essay in his rapid body movements.

"Well, I'd best be going," said Finland. "And don't worry, Nor and Romania are trying to find you. I'll tell them your coordinates, but you might have to wait just a little bit longer!"

"Vot?"

"Bye!" Finland leapt over the zombie's corpse, and sprinted out of sight.

"Zat vas… strange."

"Ve~ do you think that we're going to be rescued?" asked Italy.

"Probably," I said.

BANG! A man with a lion's head appeared out of nowhere! "GYAHAHAHAH! I am here to take you as my w-"

"VEEE~~!"

Italy ran away. "H-hey, come back here!" said the lion-headed man.

BAM! I fired a shot at him. "Who are you?" I asked threateningly.

"H-kids shouldn't have guns!" said the lion-headed man.

"I am not a child!" I shouted, and kicked him in the chest. A moment later, he vanished.

"I'll be back…" he said. Judging by the sound of his footsteps, he was running away.

"Shouldn't we go get Italy?" asked Luffy. Before I could say anything, he stretched his arms out and launched himself forward at a rapid speed.

"Vait!" I shouted.

I caught up with Italy before long, but Luffy was still ahead of us. "Ve, he passed me a long time ago," said Italy.

CRASH! "STRAW HAT~!"

I grabbed Italy and ran to the source of the shout. "Luffy!" said a gleeful voice. Spain?

"Ve, big brother~!" shouted Italy, and he ran blindly towards Spain.

The problem was that there was already someone in between him. A giant man smoking three cigars was grabbing Italy by the scruff of his neck. "Who are you?" he asked intimidating.

Italy let out a spew of Italian, mainly 'I surrender' and 'OMG YOU ARE LIKE TOTALLY HUGE'.

"Let go of him!" Spain and I shouted in unison. He paused, and craned his neck to look at me. "Germany?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but the next thing I knew, the giant man was spurting blood. Yelping in pain, he let go of Italy, who screamed and hugged me. "GERMANY! Ve, GERMANY~!"

WHAM! Suddenly, all of the air in my lungs left my body! I would have groaned if I could breathe… "KESESESE~! Didn't see zat coming, did you, Vest?!" shouted a familiar, loud voice.

"P-Prusia, wh-" Spain retched, and he fell to the ground, groaning about his economy. "Not again…"

"H-hey, let go of him!" said the girl.

"I can't help it!" shouted my immature older brother. "It's been so long since ve last saw each ozer!"

"B-Bruder…" FWAP! I flipped him and slammed him to the ground.

WHAM! Prussia kicked me with both feet, and forced me to the ground. With a lightning-quick movement, he hurled his knee onto my chest, all but crushing my ribs. "Kesese~ still a hundred years too early to beat me, kleinen bruder!"

"Brother?!" shouted all five of the people I didn't know.

"Ja," said Prussia. "Zis eeiz my little bruder, Germany."

"You're… older?" said the woman with the sword. "I can't believe that you're an older brother… You just don't seem the type."

"Ve go out und drink beer sometimes," said Prussia unhelpfully.

"Not what I meant…"

The smoking man glared at Luffy, but thought better of it. "Normally, I would have tried to arrest you, but now doesn't seem to be the time," he said. "With the zombies and all, I don't think this is the time to be fighting."

Spain let out a sigh of relief, and then was suddenly attacked by a plummeting GDP.

"You okay?" another man asked Spain.

"Th-this is normal, mi amigo," he said. "Unfortunately…"

X (Romano POV)

I woke up to the texture of a leather belt restraining my body. "N-ngh!" I struggled, but they only seemed to become tighter… I glanced around my surroundings. Let's see… lights that you see in a dentists or surgeon's operation room, something restraining victim, pickled lizards in jars… Yep, your generic human experimentation lab. I then uttered the most generic line that was ever invented- "Where am I?"

"Glad you asked."

"CHIGI!" I screamed. It was a zombie! Or at least, someone who looked a lot like one… I calmed down. "All right, where's the hidden camera?"

The strange man looked puzzled. "What's a camera?"

"Never mind," I said. "So why am I here? Can I go home now?"

"Why aren't you scared?" he asked. "I mean, look around you! I have torture equipment everywhere! And you're five years old!"

I'm actually twenty, I wanted to say. I did actually appear to be twenty-two, but since Veneziano looked twenty and we told everyone that we were twins, I had to say I was twenty. But instead I said, "Yeah, so?"

"You should be shaking!" ranted the zombie man. "Why aren't you?"

"Why should I be?" I spat. "This isn't the first time I've been kidnapped. You're not doing a very good job." Even Veneziano and I did better when we arrested England. At least we got some sort of emotional reaction from him for more than five seconds.

The zombie man waved a hand dismissively. "Moving on, I guess you want to know why you are here."

"That's what I just asked you five minutes ago," I said with clear disdain.

"I saw how you defeated an entire horde of my zombies," he said, plowing straight through me. "So I sent them to kidnap you so I can use you in my experiments!"

"CHIGI… wait, how did they know to kidnap me before I killed them?"

"I asked them to do it afterwards," he said smugly.

Knockknockknock… Finland! "H-Is this a bad time?" he said, dressed as Santa.

"Finland!" I shouted. "What are you doing here?!"

"It's almost Christmas, and I'm Santa…" he said awkwardly… "I can't really interfere with anything while I'm Santa, so… I'll just leave your present on the bench…"

"You-" I let of a string of Italian curses, but stopped after seeing Finland so helpless.

"I don't have anything for you, since reanimating dead bodies illegally and making zombies qualifies you for the naughty list," said Finland. "Here. A lump of coal."

He dropped some black matter into the zombie man's hand. "Bye!" he waved and shut the door behind him.

"Reanimating dead bodies?" I repeated. "That would get you on the naughty list…"

"Shut your mouth!" shouted the zombie man. "I am Doctor Hogback, and I will not tolerate this kind of disobedience!"

"And now you know the reason why the Austrian Hapsburgs shoved me to their Spanish cousins," I said.

"What?"

"Never mind," I said quickly. Idiota! Why did I say that?

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter," he said. "After all, you're going to be-"

WHAM! The door smashed open with a loud noise. Th-this chill… It couldn't be…

"Hola!" said Spain with false cheer. He was smiling, but his aura said otherwise… a chilly, bloodthirsty, violent aura…

Doctor Hogback, whatever his name was… he was screwed.

TO BE CONTINUED

[1] Canada's lies- I only just realized how little he lied about, almost.

[2] Sealand and England's subconscious- In 'So why do we have a Firebender on our team again', it is revealed that they share a subconscious, and therefore share dreams. And since England is unconscious, Sealand is seeing his memories.

[3] You flobby-wanded dementor boggerer, Son of a ban- both Wizard Swears from the Potter Puppet Pals video.

[4] Russia and America fighting- Remember, it's 1994 right now, so last century means the 1800s. I have no real idea how long they're been going on for, since I once saw a video about the American Civil War where a Union man said something like, "…if we cannot reform the South, I am going somewhere where evil is done without justifying it…"

Spain, Prussia, and the Marines meet Luffy, Germany, and Italy, and later Romano.

Canada, Robin, Nami, and Belarus meet Ussop, Russia, and America.

Sealand, England, Japan, China, Franky, and Sanji meet Hungary. Sanji and Hungary immediately hate each other. Sealand sees England's memories.

WHEN WILL AUSTRIA GET OFF THE PIANO!? Oh, and France and Chopper are there, too.

What will happen to the Doctor? What will Absalom do to marry Robin, Nami, and… Italy? And when will Austria finally get his (posterior) off of the piano?!


	38. Chapter 38

We didn't really learn much about world history in school.

The one mention Germany got (besides WW2, and that was in English class!) was that during one of the Crusades, the German Emperor (Even though there was only the HRE) drowned and the Germans refused to go on without him. Italy was known as the place where Columbus came from, and where the Roman Empire was located. Spain established all their colonies, and allowed Columbus to seek water passage to Asia (more or less). France helped America in our Revolution and had their own. Russia… we didn't even learn a thing about how Communism came from it to China. China we learned about Emperors and Mandate of Heaven (Cool!), and that it was extreme Communist and how bad it was. There was nothing on Japan, Austria, or Hungary. I didn't even know Belarus was a country until now. I thought Prussia was a misspelling of Russia.

We probably did learn more, but most of the year where we learned the most… it's kind of a blur. It was a boring class… Wish I could take it again now that it's more relevant!

Chapter 38 (Robin POV)

Luckily, Canada was not killed by Russia's pipe due to a timely intervention on the part of Belarus. She tackled Russia from the back, declaring her desire to marry him in her language, so Canada scurried off before any lasting harm could be done. Ussop was cowering in the corner at this point, and Nami gravitated to his spot to avoid Russia and Belarus. Not as intimidated, I scanned the area. "We should be looking for Luffy and the others," I said.

"Luffy?" repeated Belarus. "He is your captain, da?"

Canada nodded. "Please don't kill him…"

"He has been good to us," Russia said, surprisingly calm in the face of the one he feared most. Then again, she was his sister.

"Dude! I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with Russia for once!" shouted America.

"But where is he?" Nami asked the world at large.

"Maybe…" Ussop said. "Maybe he found the lab where they make the zombies! A-and maybe they gave him some kind of weird voodoo root and fish that turned him into a zombie, too!"

"Don't be ridiculous," said Nami. "Th-there's not way…"

"You're shaking too," I commented.

"C-come on!" Nami protested. "Robin, if Luffy's a zombie…"

"It'll be all right," I said. "Luffy should be able to handle a bunch of voodoo priests. Besides, what are the chances that he'd run into them?"

"But then… Where is he?"

X (Tashigi POV)

My first impression of Germany was that he was definitely not a child. He was mature (unlike his brother), serious (unlike his brother), and stubbornly tough (maybe like his brother). As for Italy… well, he's more like an overgrown teenager. He hit on me at least every sentence, even comparing me to a plate of pasta. "C-cut it out!" I shouted, embarrassed at his constant flirting.

Italy looked downtrodden, but he didn't even say anything. "I-It's okay," I said, feeling bad. "I don't hate you or anything…"

"Ve? Really?" he asked, perking up like a puppy that was just adopted.

"Y-yeah…"

"ITALIA~!" Spain sung, and he hugged Italy.

"VE~~!" Italy moved his hands so rapidly that I was sure that they'd fall off from the strain.

"Why do you have red eyes?" Luffy asked Prussia.

"Because I vas born vis zem!" he shouted. Must be something he gets a lot.

"Eh? Then why doesn't Germany have them?" Luffy persisted.

Prussia shrugged, irritated. "How should I know!? Zat eeiz just how I vas born!"

"But why?"

"Ciao, bella!"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Germany shouted. To my great surprise, complete silence fell over the room. All of Smoker's cigars fell out of his mouth in shock. "Ve must look for ze ozzers, especially Romano! He eeiz ze vone zat I um most vorried about."

"Si," said Spain, his evil aura coming back.

"Now all ve need to do eeiz find out vhere he eeiz-"

"Ve~ he's behind that wall!" Italy shouted.

"And how do you know this?" Smoker asked skeptically.

"Ve~ It's because we're twins!"

Germany looked at the wall. "Now all ve need to do eeiz break eeit down-"

SMASH! Prussia and Spain both hit the wall at the exact same time, blowing it into tiny dust particles. Germany stood there with his mouth open for at least thirty seconds until he said, "Fine."

Prussia clicked a button on a stopwatch and said, "Zat vas thirty-seven seconds. Ve should do better next time," he said to Spain. "Vot vas ze record? A full minute tventy? Vot vas eeit for again?"

"The time we told Belarus that Russia was sleeping in his bed?" said Spain. "Or was it the time we- wait, you're the one who writes everything in your diary!"

"You keep a diary?" I asked incredulously. "I stopped writing in my diary when I turned ten."

"I haf been writing in my diary for every day since I vas f-" Germany slapped his hand over his mouth before Prussia could finish his sentence. Prussia struggled free of his grip. "Oi, you're just jealous since you don't have enough to write about! Kesese~!"

Germany smacked him. "Bruder, you live in my basement. In _my_ house."

Prussia shrugged arrogantly. "Vot can I say, I AM-"

"Ja, ja," said Germany offhandedly.

"Hey, can I try?" said Luffy ambiguously. Before anyone could ask what he meant, he smashed a random door with his fist.

Germany looked at him and asked, confused, "Vot vas ze point of zat?"

"I wanted to see your shocked face again," said Luffy dejectedly. "Where's-"

"Third door on the right," said Italy. "Fratello is in there!"

SMASH! Spain kicked the door in, leaving no evidence that it was ever a door at all. To my horror, he smiled. "Hola!" he said, to someone invisible from my angle. There was a noise like an axe cutting through metal, and the stench of someone urinating. Prussia grabbed Italy and Germany and dragged them both a safe distance away; giving us room to see what was going on.

There was no way I was sleeping tonight. There wasn't any blood or gore like last time, but the sight of anyone with half that much bloodlust was enough to drive anyone who could see auras to tears. Spain was smiling, but-

THWACK! Prussia kicked Spain in the head, knocking him to the ground. "H-hey!" Spain said, rubbing his head. "What was that for?"

"Huh," Prussia shifted his zweihänder from his shoulder, and said arrogantly, "Stop smiling, you look like zat Scheißkerl Russland." Spain opened his mouth to say something, but then he saw Prussia's expression. Despite his seemingly lighthearted words, Prussia was sweating. "Y-" (A/N **you don't need me to translate what Prussia called Russia**)

CRASH! A small object collided with Spain's stomach, making him groan like a normal person. To my complete and utter shock, he hugged the object, which bashed its head against his. "Stupid Tomato Jerk!" it shouted. That was the voice of a…five year old boy? The boy grabbed Spain by the scruff of his neck and shook him vigorously. "What have you been doing this whole time, Tomato Jerk!?"

"VE~~!" Italy shouted, and threw himself onto the child. "Fratello!"

The boy rounded on Italy, shouting and cursing for a full minute. Italy put up no resistance, although it seemed more like he was afraid of this kid rather than anything else. After exhausting his supply of air, the kid took in a deep breath, and said, "Stupid little brother."

Little… brother? "Uh… by any chance…" Smith began. "Are you… de-aged? Like Hungary and Prussia and Germany?"

The kid glared at Smith and shouted, "Of course I am! Why else would I be calling him my little brother!?" He drew himself up to his full height, which shouldn't have been that impressive when he's wearing a dress, but was, and said, "I'm Italy's older twin brother, Romano."

"Twins?" a deranged-sounding voice said. "By any chance, are you two infected with a strange virus that alters aging? Ah, no matter."

CREAK… there was a sound like a rusty lever being pulled… Cripes. BOOM! The floor fell from underneath Italy and Romano. A trapdoor! "VEEE!" "CHIGIII!"

In an instant, Germany grabbed both of them by the ankle, but he slipped and-

CTCH! Prussia grabbed his brother by the waist, and pulled both him and the twins to safety. "You are too careless, Vest," he said.

"Coming from ze vone who can never dodge Ungarn's frying pan," said Germany. "Und remember vot happened ven you tried to fight both Litauen und Polen?"

Prussia turned a bright red. "I- I lost because Litauen pretended to run off so zat Polen could play ze bait until Litauen could hit me from behind…" [1]

"Exactly," said Germany. "Now, vot can ve do vis zis man?"

Man? Oh, right… "You are under arrest!" I shouted at the deranged man.

Unexpectedly, he laughed. "You think you can arrest me, Dr. Hogback?" he said. "The man who is under the protection of Gekko Moriah?"

Gekko Moriah? "Hey, isn't that the Shichibukai we were supposed to assess?" asked Mark.

"And he's protecting this guy?" asked Mark.

"Shichibukai or not, Moriah is still a pirate," said Smoker. "His interests may coincide with the World Government's, but-"

SLAM! Hogback hit another lever, and- "Get out of the way!" I shoved the other Marines back, preventing them from falling into the newly opened hole.

"AGH!" The others weren't so lucky. All of the newcomers- Luffy, Spain, the twins, and the brothers- fell into the hole.

"UWAHAHAHAHA!" Hogback laughed, and pulled another lever. The door to the left to us swung open, revealing another horde of- yes, more zombies. I drew my sword and thrust it into the heart of the nearest one, noticing out of the corner of my eye that Hogback was getting away. "He's getting away!" I shouted.

"Not now! Focus!" Smoker snapped. "As soon as we win- we're looking for the others!"

X (Sealand POV)

Of course, even in the best of times, something has to go wrong. And it looks like I'm the lightning rod for now. It's never very comfortable knowing that your grip on reality will slip, but at least I know why. Schizophrenia is much better when you know that you're currently insane.

And then, there was Hungary and Sanji. Spain was the only one to mention Hungary's name, and that was in Spanish, so no one recognized her name when she introduced herself. Not only that, they never got the memo that she was a girl. So Sanji, who was normally 'a gentleman' when it came to women, hated her for some strange reason. And Hungary hated him back, since it's hard for anyone to like someone who hates you. They hated each other so much Sanji didn't complain when Hungary rearranged the line so that he and Hungary were on opposite ends; making Sanji walk next to Zoro in the process. And then Zoro bumped into Sanji. As usual, another rally of arguments flew, and none of us really wanted to stop them.

Except for Hungary. She smashed both of their heads in with her fists alone, and shouted, "If you do not get along, zen stop making it harder on ze rest of us!" she snapped.

China groaned. "You know we are used to it by now?"

"Jerk-Arthur fights with everyone," I added.

Japan didn't say anything since he was too polite, but his expression said everything. And jerk-England couldn't make a scathing retort or argue like he usually did, since he was unconscious.

Hungary sighed. "But Sanji vas being annoying…"

Sanji glared back at her. "What about the stupid Marimo-head!? Why are you singling me out!?"

Hungary shrugged. "Because you are more annoying zan he is!"

They began to bicker, and no one really wanted to break it up. The only one who really would have been annoyed was Hungary, and since she was arguing, she couldn't do anything. And coupled with my sudden bursts of schizophrenia, this was turning out to be a very fine day indeed.

X (Tashigi POV)

All the zombies were now dead- or at least, not moving. Smoker called, "Is everyone okay!?"

"Aye," all of us answered in unison.

"Good! Now, did anyone see a staircase anywhere?"

We looked at each other. "Did you see any stairs, Mark?" "Nah, I must have missed them." "I saw some!" Four pairs of eyes were on Smith. "You didn't see them?"

Smoker patted him hard on the back. "Lead the way, then."

Mark brought us to a half-opened door in the middle of the hallway, and we descended down the stairs, expecting a trap. What I wasn't expecting was piano music. It was beautiful… No! Snap out of it, Tashigi! It's a trap! I kept on talking myself into avoiding the music, but it was almost impossible to stop listening… We continued along the stairwell until we reached a large room filled with musical instruments. There! At the center—a pedestal with a piano on it! Someone was playing it! Out of sheer willpower, I resisted the urge to relax and leapt forward, sword at the ready.

CRASH! I miscalculated the force of my jump and ended up just flying tackling the man on the piano. Maybe 'just' wasn't the right word; I knocked him straight off the pedestal.

"Tashigi!" Smoker called. "What are you doing!?"

The man playing the piano got up and dusted himself off, looking disgruntled. His glasses were askew, and there was one very noticeable curl on the top of his head. "Vy did do zat?" he asked disapprovingly. "All I vas doing vas play ze piano, vy vould you even sink of tackling somevone on a piano?" As he spoke, he became increasingly angry. "Vere you disrespecting ze piano? You do not disrespect ze piano!"

Smoker finally got a word in edgewise. "Weren't you the one who stopped me from getting Straw Hat Luffy?" he asked.

The man on the piano gave him a look. "Ja," he said at last. "Vot about it?"

"You-"

"Bonjour, belle," said someone in the corner that I didn't recognize. His greeting reminded me of Italy somehow… "My name is France…"

"AAAH!" The doctor of the Straw Hats, Tony Tony Chopper, was cowering in the corner, between a trombone and a set (was it called a set?) of bagpipes. From the look of the drool on his face, it looked as if he had been sleeping. After breathing heavily for a few moments, he seemed to calm down. "Ah… and I was having such a nice dream, too…"

The man who was formerly on the piano glared at him. "You vere sleeping vile I vas playing ze piano?!" Without me detecting any movement, he suddenly disappeared from the space right in front of me and somehow teleported in front of the piano. "I vill now express-"

WHAM! France suddenly tackled the man on the piano. "Je suis désolé, but zis eeiz for your own good," he apologized. And then his hand dragged itself to the piano man's belt-

SLAP! The piano man slapped France; not a powerful strike, but it caught him by surprise. He then had enough time to drag himself out of France's reach, and plop himself back onto the piano chair.

Chopper groaned. "We've been sitting here for the past five hours just listening to your music, Austria! Aren't your fingers tired by now?"

"Nein, I am never tired ven I play mu-"

"Austria!?" I burst in. "Then you're the person Hungary came for!?"

The aristocratic man nodded. "Zen Ungarn eeiz here, also?"

Smoker stood up straight. "You already know."

Austria gave him a look. "I do. So you do not mess around vis vords, und get straight to ze point?"

Smoker and Austria had an intense staring contest for a few moments. Prussia was right in calling Austria an aristocrat, I realized. Unlike his straightforward…friends, for lack of a better word; Austria talked differently, acted differently, heck, he even dressed way differently than the others! Who wore clothes like that today, anyway!? But anyway, he was much more… lofty. Especially compared to the angry, arrogant Prussia…

Smoker relented. "Fine. We're not here to fight you. We're trying to find your friends."

"You're not going to fight?" Chopper said in disbelief.

"No," said Smoker. "We have too much on our hands as it is. Gekko Moriah has betrayed the Marines. You saw the zombies? We can't afford to fight you right now."

Chopper gave a sigh of relief. France then took this as another sign to hit on me. I ducked behind an understanding John, and Mark asked Austria, "So why's Hungary looking for you, anyway?"

Austria gave him a condescending look. "Eeiz it not obvious? Ve are not family, und… vait, vas Ungarn de-aged?"

"Yes, he was," Smith replied. "But what does that have to do with anything?!"

Austria looked almost uncomfortable. "Vell… you see, Ungarn is actually a-"

CRASH! The wall behind us shattered, stone crumbling and mortar powering away. Out of the dust emerged a metal monster with glowing eyes… SLAM! A fin on the side of the monster flapped open, and a young man stepped out from behind it. He looked straight at us and shouted, "What are you waiting for!? Get in!"

I gaped at the machine. "Where… where do we get in?"

The man sighed, and pulled a few more fins… no, wait. Those were _doors_. France and Austria appeared to be nonplussed by the presence of the machine, and walked straight up to it. Austria entered without a fuss, but France stopped in front of the man I didn't know. "Ah, you look much more sexy when you're-"

"Chigi!" The young man stepped back, and then said in an angry yet shaky manner, "Y-you thought you could do that to me, huh, Wine Jerk?!"

France stepped back, and entered the machine next to Austria. Chopper followed nervously.

I turned to Smoker, along with Smith, John, and Mark. "Well, Commodore?" Smith asked.

"Fine. He doesn't seem to be an enemy. Let's go," Smoker ordered.

John was the first to enter, with Smoker following. Mark and Smith hopped in next, and I was about to climb in until the man stopped me. "There's no more room back there," he said, blushing. "But you can sit next to-"

Austria grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. "You try to hit on a voman at a time like zis?!"

The man shrunk back. "H-hey! You forced Fratello and I into dresses!"

That seemed to strike a chord with Austria. "I-I sought you vere girls… But you are still not sitting vis her alone!"

"Fine," said the man, and he got into the machine.

Austria said, "Take my seat, I vill sit next to him. Just avoid France…"

"I know," I said disgustedly. The inside of the machine held several chairs bolted to the floor. France was showing the others this mechanism that tied them in their seats. "You will need it," he warned. When he came to me, I told him not to even think about it. He went away quietly.

"Everyone in?" the young man called from the front. There was a murmur of yeses. "Ch, you'd better not be lying… it's your funeral."

"What do you mean byyy- AIAIII!" I screamed. What was this thing!? It was going so fast! MY TEETH WERE CHATTERING FORM THE SHEER SPEED! I peered to the side, where Smith was groaning about motion sickness and Mark. Mark looked as if he was trying to throw up, but his stomach was moving too quickly. John was overtaken by fright and began to hug Chopper, who was screaming, "NOT AGAIN!" France was moaning, and I could barely hear Austria's unhappiness from the front seat.

Only Smoker was unaffected by the sudden speed. "Hey. Who are you, anyway?" he asked.

The young man cocked his head to look at us, until Austria forced him back while shouting, "LOOK AT ZE ROAD VEN YOU ARE DRIVING!"

The man made a half choking, half sputtering noise, and shouted, "SO YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME, HUH?!"

"W- Have—we—met?" Mark managed between coughs.

"TEN MINUTES AGO! TEN—FREAKING—MINUTES!" roared the young man, who didn't seem to be particularly worried about the speed we were going at. I could have sworn that we crashed into a zombie just then…

"Aha!" Smith somehow managed amidst the din. "I remember now!"

I couldn't see from this angle, but I could have sworn that the man grinned. "Hah! You finally remember…"

"How can I forget a temper like yours?" Smith smirked. "Romano, right?"

X

A lion-headed man walked invisibly behind the procession of super-powers, siblings, cowards, archeologists, and thieves. Eyeing two of the girls, he said. "Yes… yes… soon they will be mine!"

"Say, Mattie? Did you hear that?" America asked.

"No…"

"Oh. Never mind."

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Lithuania, Poland, and Prussia, Poland playing the bait- a reference to the Battle of Tannenberg strip.

I originally said that there were a whole bunch of Marines, but now there are only five; Tashigi, Smoker, John, Mark, and Smith. When I visualize those last three, I think of John as a veteran Marine, and a middle-aged man. Mark is a cocky, sarcastic fun-lover. Smith is more of an angry guy who's disdainful of Hungary.

Re-cap time!

Nami, Robin, Ussop, Russia, America, Canada, and Belarus are together. Absalom is stalking them.

Sealand, China, Japan, England, Hungary, Zoro, and Sanji are together. Hungary and Sanji hate one another.

The Marines meet France, Austria, and Chopper. They are picked up by Romano, but why?

Why is Romano an adult now? Where did he get the car? And when will Absalom be put in his place?


	39. Chapter 39

ScarletSkies123: Uh… I don't really know how to react to that…

To the Guest about Italy in WW1: I did? Well, I never studied WW1… but didn't Italy change sides?

I'm sure that some of you might be wondering why Italy refers to Germany as Germany, instead of Italian for Germany. The thing is, Italian for Germany is Germania, which I can't use without confusion between him and his grandfather Germania.

A funny story happened at school. One of my classes shares a room with a history class that made WW2 propaganda posters. Two caught my eye. One had a manji instead of a swastika (A manji is a Buddhist symbol, ironically), and the other had Godzilla (Japan) with Hitler's head (Germany) thinking of pizza (Italy) to represent the Axis powers. Almost as if Italy was an afterthought…

I just realized something. Hetalia may make light of war (not counting the emotional ones), but it's still not as bad as other stuff. Call of Duty and games like that turn war into a game. I remember a kid saying that he'd be great at war… since he played all those games. That's why I don't touch the things… I play Final Fantasy instead.

Chapter 39 (Tashigi POV)

I gaped. This young man was Romano? Just a moment ago, I saw him as a little boy! How-

"You're wondering why I'm normal now?" Romano asked.

France looked awkward. "To tell you ze truth, I did not notice," he said. Romano grumbled. "Eeit is because I see you so often when you are normal, and…"

"What happened to you, anyway?" I asked. "You fell down a trapdoor, and then what?"

Romano softened, and began, "That trapdoor led to an underground chamber…"

_When we woke up, we were in a gigantic room. All seven of us were tied up. A weird-looking overweight guy with a body like a leek was glowering at us as Dr. Hogback did his weird laugh. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have more powerful people here!"_

_Leek Jerk giggled in this weird high-pitched voice, and hit a lever. Instantly, a bright light flashed from our left sides… "Now I shall extract your shadows!" laughed Leek Jerk._

_I couldn't see, but whatever he was doing, it wasn't successful. Leek Jerk let of a shriek of rage, and screamed, "Why is this not working!?"_

"_Muh-maybe there is an enchantment on them that prevents your power from working," suggested Hogback. "But I have just the thing!"_

_I heard him run back a few paces and wheel in something heavy. "This machine disables all magical effects on one person. It takes three hours to charge and takes up half the power in the city, but it's just the thing for those pesky gn- I mean, for these little brats!" _[1]

_Of course, none of us were particularly worried._

"Why not?" I asked.

Romano suddenly hit the accelerator on the… machine he was driving (**The truck, in case I'm being vague**). He fumbled with both his words and the steering wheel for a moment, until he finally calmed down and had us on a steady course again. "I- It's because Tea Jerk was the one who de-aged us! With magic!"

Smith gave him a condescending look. "You expect us to believe that magic exists?"

"Ja!" Austria shouted. "If you do not believe us, zen you can explain to us vy are ve here und vy Romano is an adult!"

Smith shifted uncomfortably. "But- fine, just get on with the story!"

"I would have gotten to the end already if it wasn't for you…" muttered Romano, but he continued his story anyway.

_So then, the crazy doctor guy charged up his machine, and—FLASH! He fired at me. I can't describe it to you, but the best way is that, in one instant, more than a decade of growth and maturity was forced onto my tiny body… it felt kind of squishy._

"Squishy?" repeated Chopper. "You get aged suddenly, and all you say to describe it is 'squishy'?"

"Si, squishy. Now can I continue?"

_Right. So there I was, an adult once more. "I thought that he was that weak boy's twin!" shouted the doctor. "He said so a while back!"_

"_No, I'm not!" I shouted. "We just say that to avoid unnecessary complications when people find out that we have the same birthday!"_

"Wait, so you aren't twins?" asked Chopper.

"Nope," said Romano. "I'm the older brother, at the age of twenty-two. Veneziano is twenty. [2]"

"And you have the same birthday because…"

"Long story," said Romano. Ah. So that's why he lied and said they were twins…

_Anyway—don't interrupt me again—the crazy doctor guy then cried out, "IT WORKED!"_

"_Yeah, but my other subjects are unconscious," said Leek Jerk._

"_Don't worry, they were knocked out by the sudden flash of light," said the crazy doctor. "They'll wake up soon enough. Speaking of which… the machine's effects only lasts for half an hour. Which gives me a perfect opportunity to show off my newest invention!"_

_He waved his hand dramatically, and a curtain behind his fell. "Behold—the quadcycle!" _[3]

"… _It's a truck," I said. _

" _Is not! It's my newest invention! It's like a bicycle, but it is powered by gasoline!" bragged Doctor._

"_So it's a truck," I said. "By the way, by aging me back to normal, you also gave me access to things that I normally wouldn't have had."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Remember when I killed your zombies with a handgun?" I said. "Well, now I have access to other things."_

"_Such as…"_

"_Such as machine guns."_

"So I stole the truck, hit him with at least two rounds of bullets, and got the heck out of there," concluded Romano. "Leek Jerk tried to stop me, but he was too surprised and couldn't move. And then all these weird shadows came flying out…"

Mark wasn't convinced.

"But what about Germany and Prussia and Italy and-"

"They're in the back," Romano pointed to the back of the truck. "I had to carry them all."

France put on a creepy face. "So zen I can sneak back and-"

SLAM! Romano slammed onto the brakes, and shouted, "Don't even think about it! Definitely not fratello or Luffy, maybe not Meat Jerk or Tomato Jerk, but Vital Regions Jerk and Potato Jerk…"

"Does it matter?" asked Smoker. "Were you planning on finding us?"

"Well… not you specifically…" Romano admitted. "I was hoping to find anyone who could help. I mean, we're all spread out…"

"So vy did you crash zis truck into a vall?" asked Austria.

"Lucky guess," said Romano. "Any idea where the others are?"

John pointed. "There~!"

X (Robin POV)

CRASH! As if on cue, the wall collapsed. "Is that… a truck?" asked America.

"Da. I am happy that you have gained the ability to recognize basic machinery," said Russia.

"Nyet. It is not," said Belarus sarcastically. (**My editor does this to me all the time. I say something obvious, like, "Is that a squirrel?" and s/he says, "No that is not a squirrel**.**"**)

"A… truck?" asked Ussop. "What is a truck?"

"That thing…?" Nami volunteers.

Click. The truck opened up, revealing someone that I didn't recognize. "Get in the back!" he shouted. He then took one look at Belarus and blanched. "Y-you two can… uh…"

"Пожалуйста, не заставляйте меня сидеть рядом с моей маленькой сестрой!" Russia cried (**Please don't make me sit next to my little sister**!).

"Пакладзеце мяне побач з маім старэйшым братам ..." said Belarus intimidating. (**Put me next to my big brother**…)

The guy stalled. "H-how about you flip a coin or something?"

"Fine," said Belarus. "Heads; I go with you, tails; I go in the back."

America surreptitiously handed Ussop a coin, and whispered, "You'll have to flip it!"

"Why?" Ussop whispered back.

"Because both of them will try to rig it, and I'm already biased!" said America.

Ussop handed to coin to Nami. "You do it!"

Nami examined the coin. "Not worth enough," she said, and gave it to me.

I flipped the coin. "It's tails," I said.

Belarus was unhappy, but Russia was relieved. "Thank you," he whispered as he entered the front of the truck. The guy I didn't know gave me a look of pure horror.

I climbed in the back, which had a window to the front. (**Okay, time for a proper description. Think of a pickup truck. A REALLY, REALLY BIG pickup truck. The front of the truck is basically a minivan, but much bigger. The back is gigantic. And yes, the back has seatbelts.**)

In the back were an unconscious Luffy, Italy, Germany, Spain, and two boys I didn't know. One had silver hair and dressed like a knight, while the other was dressed more normally and had brown hair up to his shoulders.

"This guy's Prussia, right?!" America pointed to the white-haired kid. "Dude, no one else has hair like his!"

"Is he always this loud?" a woman's voice said from the front. Wasn't that…

"Tashigi!?" screeched Ussop. "What's she doing here?!"

"We have decided on a truce for the time being," said Smoker from the inside. "We will not fight one another for the time being."

"On whose authority?" I asked.

"Do you not want to have the truce?" asked the unknown man.

"Well, first I'd like to know your name," I said.

If he weren't driving the truck, I was sure that he would have looked back at me. "I'm Romano! You know, that little kid who got arrested!?"

I stared at him. "I vill explain," said Austria from the front.

One explanation later…

"Wow… so now we're looking for the others?" I asked.

"I guess…" said Romano. "Either way, there's plenty of gas in the tank. We can run around as much as we want!"

I felt Spain shift next to me. "Ugh…" he groaned. "¿Qué ha pasado?" (**What just happened**?) He sat up, and glanced around. "Hola, everyone!" he said.

"Ch, about time you woke up," said Romano. This was a mistake. At the sound of Romano's voice, Spain perked up, and shouted, "Ah, Roma!" And then he shoved his way through the window and into the front of the truck. I could barely see, but I could hear what was going on. "Francia!" he shouted, and I saw him hug France. The Marines inside weren't too pleased by the extra person. "Austria!" he shouted, pushing his way to the front. I was sure that he hugged him.

"Romano-"

"GYAAAAA! I'm driving!" shouted Romano, and he was clearly uncomfortable with the situation judging by his driving. I was forced to use my Devil Fruit power for us to even stay on.

"Ah, Romano, your cheeks are so-"

With another burst of horrible driving, Romano crashed us into the wall—and those of us in the back crashed into one another. I saw Prussia fly into the window to the front.

Into Russia's lap. "…" said Prussia. "Ugh… *hack* *cough*"

"He's coughing up blood!" screamed Chopper.

"Because I am in zat &%# b&$%# Russland's lap!" roared Prussia, and I heard a sword being swung.

"What was that…?" Belarus began, voice filled with icy fury. She had a knife.

"YOU HEARD ME!"

"Calm down," said Russia.

"LIKE HELL I VILL!"

"QUIT IT! I'M DRIVING!"

Prussia appeared to have shut up. Until he noticed France. "Frankreich! So you are here, too!?" he said a little too loudly.

"Prusse! Why are you dressed like zat?"

"Vy do I haf to keep explaining, I vas vashing my clothes!"

"Uh-oh…" said Germany, who woke up in the confusion.

"Ve… this is a bad thing, isn't it?" said Italy.

"Very."

Judging by the fact that Romano was driving relatively normally, Spain had let go of him. "So this means that the Bad Touch Trio is now reunited, si?"

"Ve… at least Luffy's sleeping," said Italy.

"I hope that this time _you_ can actually keep things under control," Belarus said to Austria with extreme contempt. "Can't you at least keep your ex-husband in line?"

There was silence. "You know, you _are_ the one who forced me to marry you, so I can't say anything," said Spain.

"Ve, I was there when you two got married!" piped up Italy.

"Not… helping…" said Austria.

"You forced another man to marry you?!" Tashigi yelped. "What kind of a-"

"I had a reason!" shouted Austria.

"And you're not going to tell us?" guessed Nami.

"You vould not understand," said Austria. "At least, not vithout revealing ze secret."

"Come on!"

CRASH! Peter dropped down from above, somehow managing to land safely on top of the truck. The truck skidded to a stop. "Don't worry, you'll find out what it is soon enough!" he shouted way too loudly. "As soon as Jerk-Arthur wakes up! No, I don't want any—No, I'm not insane!"

"That's what they all say…" said Canada. I'd almost forgotten that he was here…

"Shut it!" Peter shouted. "Jerk-Arthur's regaining his memories, but he's unconscious! I TOLD YOU THAT THE VODKA WAS A BAD IDEA, AMERICA!"

America looked at him with confusion. "Wait, I haven't had vodka since-"

"HE'S REGAINING HIS MEMORIES, BUT SINCE WE SHARE A SUBCONCIOUS, I SEE THEM TOO!" Peter shouted. "AM I CATHOLIC OR PROTESTANT?!"

"No idea, dude!" said America.

"Wait, where'd you fall from?" Ussop asked nervously.

"There!" Peter pointed up to a ledge, where Sanji, Zoro, Franky, China, Japan, and someone I didn't know were fighting off… something. It looked like a cross between a squid and a kitten… "MAPLE SYRUUP!"

"Who's he?" asked America, pointing to the brown haired boy. "I've never seen that guy before-"

"That is Венгрия," said Russia.

America stared at him. "You mean… That's Hungary?!"

"Da."

"No way…" America stared.

"Why do you think we were all so surprised?" muttered Romano.

"Who vould haf sought, indeed…" said Austria!

"Wait, did I miss something?" asked Nami. "Who's Hungary?"

Belarus gave her an indignant look. "That person right there, obviously," she said.

"That's not what I meant…"

"A friend, then," said Belarus. "But it depends on who you are talking to."

"Never mind," said Nami. "But that name does ring a bell…"

"Yohohohooo!" called a… skeleton.

"Brooke?" I asked as America freaked out.

"Yes, it is I!" said Brooke. "I was looking for my shadow, but I found you guys instead! It must be fate! And my shadow came back! Hooray!"

"Hey, who's zis veird guy?" asked Prussia. "Und vy… is… he a… skele-"

"Long story," said Germany. "Look, ve haf to help zem!"

"Gomu Gomu no…"

Was that… Luffy?

"ROCKEEEEEEEEET!"

_Twang_. With a noise like a rubber band being stretched and released, Luffy shot himself straight into the squid monster.

"Vot… vas zat?" Prussia asked.

"I'll explain later," said Germany. "You know, I am surprised that you haf not-"

"ALL YOUR VITAL REGIONS ARE BELONG TO ME!" screamed Prussia. He leapt up to the ledge, giant sword in hand, and began to duel with the squid monster.

"Poroszország?!" shouted Hungary.

"Not you again!" China said, and drop-kicked the squid in the eye.

"Zat vould do it," said Germany, and he aimed his pistol at the squid. Austria didn't say anything, but got out a bigger gun.

"Ve~ Calamari!" shouted Italy, and with the help of his brother, somehow produced a flamethrower.

"That thing had better be edible!" shouted Romano.

"Zat is a squid-cat, you really sink it is edible?" said France, but he seemed to be mixing a batter anyway. He left it on the truck, and got out his sabre.

"Time to break out the heavy artillery~!" said Mark.

"Man, I never got to use this thing before," said John.

"Finally, I get to aim!" said Smith.

Was that… a bazooka?

"Giant squid cat make good meal, da?" said Russia.

Shing! "I'll slice it up," said Belarus.

"Don't leave me out!" said Tashigi, and she climbed up the ledge with her sword on her back.

WHAM! China hit it again on the head with a wok. "I get a piece to stir-fry!" he called.

"You call that a gun?" said Peter. "THIS is a gun! WHY OH WHY DO YOU KEEP ON WEARING THAT DRESS, POLAND?!"

"I can cook that thing any time!" Sanji roared, and kicked it repeatedly.

"I wonder how it'll taste with your dirty shoes all over it," said Zoro, and he cut off a tentacle.

"Why you-"

KRAAKA-BOOM! Nami swung her Clima-Tact, and lightning sprang down from the sky. "I can hit that thing, easy!"

"It'll taste great with maple syrup," said Canada, and he slapped it with his hockey stick.

"Try some Tabasco sauce!" Ussop shot the squid with a tiny ball.

"I'll hold it down," I said, and used my Devil Fruit powers.

"Nice!" said Hungary, and he hit it with the frying pan.

"Ve~ sorella, can I borrow your frying pan later?" asked Italy.

"Vot for?" he asked.

"To cook it in!"

"But it is a- oh, right. Frying pan," he said.

Austria sighed. "You forgot that it is for cooking?" he asked.

Hungary spun around. "H-Herr Auztria!?" he shouted. "I vas looking all over for you!"

"Not now, Ungarn!" he said. "Kill zis sing first!"

BOOM! "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," said Franky.

"IS that napalm?" asked Chopper. "Time for some tranquilizers!"

"Wait…" said America. "Where's Iggy?"

Japan looked guilty. "I… I am afraid sat Alsur-san has…"

"He's under there," China pointed to a pile of debris.

Tashigi looked at it in horror. "You mean…"

Oh no… Cap'n was… dead?

"IGGGGYYY!" America screamed, and he jumped onto the ledge, heading straight for the pile. "IGGGYY!"

"It's no use," said Smoker. "Those rocks are—holy mother of-"

"IGGGYY!" America lifted up a giant rock about the size of a house up above his head.

"Did he just…" said John.

"Lift up a rock _that_ big…?" said Smith.

"No, he didn't," said Mark sarcastically.

"IGGGYYY!" Cap'n's body finally emerged from the rubble, and America hugged the limp Arthur.

"Mmmmutternmuttermutter…" said Cap'n.

"Eh? What was that?" asked Canada."

"I… thought… I thought…" he muttered.

"Iggy?" said America, barely daring to believe it.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP BLOODY CALLING ME IGGY!" shouted Cap'n. "IT'S NOT IGGY, IT'S ENGLAND!"

Peter looked up. "Jerk-England's finally regained his memory," he said. "Now then, time to beat the &$# out of that thing, eh?"

If a squid could sweat, then it would definitely had by now.

X

"I WILL MAKE YOU THREE MY BRIDES~!" shouted a lion-man thingy who emerged from behind the squid monster's corpse.

"Ve? But I'm a boy…" said Italy.

"… Never mind," it said, and it left.

"Ve~! Calamari time~!" said Italy, and he began to slice up the squid cat. With a lot of help from Belarus, Zoro, Sanji, Japan, and China.

"Yay! By the way, where did you get the flamethrower from?" Ussop asked Romano.

"Hammerspace, duh," he said.

Hungary was hugging Austria affectionately, while Austria seemed to be in shock.

"So what is your real name, anyway?" Nami asked Peter.

"It's Sealand!"

"Kind of unimaginative, I'd say," she replied.

"Hey, it was the best I could come up with!"

Wait, what?

"You're a musician?" Brooke asked the confused Austria.

"Ja, I specialize in ze piano."

"We should do a duet sometime!"

"So that's how you clean your sword?" Tashigi asked Japan.

"Hai. It is very efficient."

"Let me get this straight, _you're_ the _older_ brother?" Smith asked Prussia.

Prussia looked at him. "Ja. Look, just because I'm shorter and considered less mature doesn't mean zat I am younger!"

"Yeah right."

"It's true, I am ze younger," said Germany.

"So you're saying that by beating up Leek Jerk, I got your shadow back?" Romano asked Brooke.

"Yep!"

"That sounds like a convenient excuse."

"MARRYMEMARRYMEMARRY-"

"Go hoooome!"

Poof! "Looks like the magic thing wore off," said Zoro. "You're back to your little self again, Romano.

Romano cursed.

"I suppose I owe you all an explanation," said Cap'n.

"A what?" said Luffy.

"He's going to tell us everything!" Nami whispered to me.

"Er… where should I start? Oh, right… Time to drop the bomb."

"We're nations."

BOOM!

"Wh-what was that?!"

Strange runes glowed from underneath. There was a flash of light.

And then we vanished.

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] The anti-magic gun, three hours to charge and takes up half the power in the city but is just the thing for those pesky gnomes- A reference to Bob and George. I hope that I got the quote right…

[2] Italy brothers not being twins- At first, I was strongly opposed to them not being twins, but I got over it. Now I had to make an excuse for them to say that they were twins…

[3] Quadcycle- Like a bicycle, but with four wheels. Then again, it is a big truck, so…? Would it have four wheels at that size?

The reason why Moriah can't extract their shadows is because, well, they ARE shadows of the nation. He could figure out how to control them, but he didn't have time and he didn't figure it out. He couldn't extract Luffy's shadow since he was distracted.

Oh, more deleted scenes. One was of Hungary being turned to normal and rescuing the Marines but being turned back just before they see her.

The other was when Moriah controls the nations since they ARE shadows of the land itself. I scrapped it since it would take so long.

What was that light? How will the Straw Hats and Marines react when they find the secret? And what about the calamari they were planning? Find out… in the final chapter of Arthur Kirkland, United Kingdom, Pirate!


	40. Chapter 40

This is it! The final chapter! Hopefully things get resolved… of course they will! Not to mention that this is the longest chapter I've ever written…

Ah… my first truly finished fanfiction… I hope you had just as much fun reading this as I did writing it!

Chapter 40 (Tashigi POV)

The first thing I saw when I woke up was the darkness. THEN I saw the glowing circle underneath. The third and forth things were the two robed figures, chanting…

Soon enough, the chanting stopped, and the glow faded. The figure on the left stood up. "Phew… that took way too long for me…" he said. "You okay, Norway?"

"I'm fine," said the other- Norway, I reminded myself. "How are you?"

It took me a while before I realized that his question was directed towards me. "Yes, you," he said.

"Who are you?" I asked automatically. I reached for my sword, but it was gone!

"Your sword is over there," said Norway. "I thought that one of you might attack us, so we put your weapons in the corner."

"By the way, I'm Romania, and this is Norway," said Romania. "We… weren't actually trying to teleport you, but you were so close together that…"

"Teleport?" I repeated.

"Interdimensional teleportation," said Norway. "I got the exact coordinates from Finland, who I'm sure you already met. He gave you sword polish, didn't he?"

Finland? "You mean that guy with the flying sleigh?" I asked.

"That's the one," said Romania.

"You have some strange friends," I said.

"Wait til you meet Poland," said Romania.

"Does he wear a dress?" I asked. "Sealand said something about that… Wait, where is everyone?!"

Norway hit a switch, and light flooded the chamber. Which was, in fact, someone's basement. Thank goodness… everyone was there! But something was wrong…

"Ugh…" groaned Luffy. He sat up with difficulty. "Hey… where's Sanji and Hungary? And why is everyone a different age?"

I looked down. "Whoops," said Norway. "Not my fault."

"Not mine either," said Romania.

Everyone from my dimension was normal, but the others… were different. England looked about five, while Prussia, Spain, Italy, Romano, and Belarus were in their teens. Russia was now in his twenties, along with France, Austria, and Germany. Sealand looked exactly the same, and so did Canada and China. America was now the same age as Canada, so I guessed that he was back at his normal age… Japan seemed to be normal as well.

"Is that… normal?" I asked.

"For some of them, yes. For the others, no," said Norway.

Romania sighed. "Why did England do this, again?"

"Let's make him clean up his mess this time," said Norway. "We did more than our share; he should put everything back to normal."

"Should we wake him up first, though?"

"Probably not."

"Let's send them back, then," said Norway.

"Wait!" I said. The duo stared at me. "England promised us an explanation!"

"And Sanji's gone!" Luffy shouted.

"When everyone wakes up, then," said Norway.

"Where are we…?" Nami woke up.

"You're in my house," said Norway. "I don't want to explain more than once, so I want to wait until everyone wakes up."

John yawned. "Hey… what did I… Hey, Tashigi!"

"…Don't have to shout, John…" said Smith.

"You're right, but we don't have to talk either," said Mark.

"Ugh…" groaned Smoker. "Hey… where's Hungary?"

Romania bristled. "Don't talk to me about that-"

"Shut it," said Norway. "He asked a legitimate question. Hungary is… here!"

"Where?"

Norway pointed to a map. "Here. Sanji should be there, too."

"They're on a piece of paper?" asked Luffy.

"No, they're in Sicily," said Romania.

Norway stood up. "I'm going there right now. You guys can follow me if you want."

"Of course we're following you!" Smoker shouted.

"I'm coming too!" said Luffy.

Norway opened a door that I didn't see before. "Come in, and be careful not to get shot at."

He led us through an ornate hallway, which seemed out of place compared to the Spartan basement we walked out of. "This isn't my house, so don't mess anything up," said Norway.

"Excuse me, Switzerland," he said as he passed a kid folding up clothes.

Switzerland spun around, rifle in hand. "Norway! How did you get into my house-"

"Switzerland, your house is based on a space-time distorter," said Norway. "It connects to every house in the world. I needed to borrow it to get to Sicily."

"Fine then," said Switzerland, and he put his gun down. "But you have to leave your weapons here!"

Norway produced a large axe from nowhere and put it on a table. "You'd better do as he says," he said.

Reluctantly, I laid my katana down. The others followed suit.

"I'll look after them, just BE QUICK!" Switzerland yelled. "You have ten minutes!"

Norway opened a cabinet door, which revealed a crowded city street. "Three blocks down, one left…" he murmured as he walked. "Here we are."

It was a warehouse. Norway opened the door, where we saw a very pretty young woman in a dress fretting over Sanji. She seemed to be bandaging him. "Ugh…" Sanji groaned as he awoke. "Who… who are you…?"

"Don't talk!" she said sharply.

"You're… You're the most beautiful girl I EVER MET~~!" Sanji leapt up, and tried to hug her.

CRACK! The woman tackled Sanji head on and pinned him down. "Ze hell!? Vot is going on vis you?! I sought you hated me! All I did vas bandage you…"

She looked up and saw us. "Szia, Smoker, Tashigi, John, Mark, Smith!" she called. "I vas vondering vhere you vere!" (**Hello**)

I stared at her. "Do I… know you…?" I asked.

The woman gaped, but Norway interrupted. "Oh, right," he said. "I sent her through to your world, and she was de-aged in the process. To the age of twelve."

He put his hand on the woman's shoulder. "This is Hungary. At her actual age of twenty-four," he said.

Now it was our turn to gape. "You're…" I began.

"I can't believe it…" said John.

"Ah…ahahahaha… this is when you say April fools, right?" said Smith.

"How did you hide it for so long…?" Mark managed to sputter.

"What a change…" said Luffy.

"You…? A girl…? Hungary…?" Nami stuttered.

"I… I yelled at a woman…" said Sanji. "I will never forgive myself!"

"Calm down, Sanji!" said Hungary cheerfully. "It does not matter if I am a voman or not!"

"It does… to me…" said Sanji.

"Sanji is a true man who sticks to his values," explained Luffy. "So finding out that you were a girl this whole time hit him really hard."

Hungary shrugged, and went straight up to Sanji. "Listen, Sanji!" she yelled. "Vy should it matter zat I am a voman ven it did not matter before?! SINK OF ME AS ZE EXCEPTION!"

"Yeah, sink of her as a transvestite," said… Prussia?! He was in his late teens now, and I now that I saw him awake I could fully see how much of a change it was. Besides being taller, he was dressed normally and didn't look like a hyper-aggressive kid. Even so, he didn't look the same as he was in the picture that Hungary showed us… "Ven ve vere children, I vas ze first to find out. Not even she knew."

Hungary turned a bright shade of red. "Poroszország…" she warned.

"It's true!" said Prussia. "Everyone grows a penis, eh?"

WHAM! CRASH! BANG! BANG!

"By the way, what is Austria to you?" John asked. "You aren't family, are you girlfriend and boyfriend?"

"He's my…" Hungary paused, and blushed. "He's my ex-husband."

"…eh?"

"Hold on," said Nami. "I saw a picture of Austria's ex-wife before… How many times has he-"

"Vait. Vitch picture are you talking about?"

"This one," Nami took out a photo album and opened it.

Hungary stared at it. "Zat's Maria Theresa, his ex-boss. But vy do you have his-"

Norway looked at his watch. "It's been more than ten minutes. How did Switzerland let you got though?" he asked Prussia.

"I asked Liechtenstein," said Prussia despite the massive head injuries. "She is my cousin, after all."

"She is?" repeated Norway.

"But she is only a distant relation compared to me und Vest," said Prussia. "Come on, ze ozzers haf vaken up."

He led us back though the streets of Sicily, until we arrived at the same door that we came in through. Prussia opened it, and the hallway was still there. A young girl who looked like Switzerland was standing there, next to the table with our weapons. "Grüezi, Preußen," she said.

"Hallo, Liechtenstein," he said back. "Danke for letting me pass," he said.

"You are velcome," she said. "You had better go though before Bruder notices."

"She's also Switzerland's little sister ever since he took her in, but zey are distantly related at the same time… You know vot? I vill explain everysing ven ve get back."

"Fine," I said. Each of us grabbed our weapons quickly.

Liechtenstein looked around. "Be ze vay… you vill get a lot of visitors," she told Norway. "Make sure zat you haf plenty of food!"

"Okay," he said. "Which way-"

"Zat vay," she pointed.

"Thanks."

After a tense moment of walking, we finally got back to Norway's basement. Everyone was already awake, and all were staring at England intently. Romano seemed to be especially annoyed.

Prussia plopped himself next to the man who I could only call Germany. As I anticipated, judging by his character, he looked like a buff drill sergeant. Russia was on the other side of the room, and he appeared to be fully at ease with his body unlike the others who changed. America and Japan were also moving around normally, so I assumed that the four of them were at their normal ages.

The others, Spain, Belarus, Italy, Romano, and England seemed to be unbalanced with their bodies. I knew for sure that Romano wasn't normal since I saw him at his regular age… Were they not normal either?

"Hello, everyone," said Norway. "We're back. And this is Hungary. Yes, she is a woman."

I watched as everyone gaped.

"Is everyone here? Fine," said England. Since he was turned into a kid, England had to stand on one of Norway's chairs. "Remember how I said that we were nations?"

"What's a nation?" asked Luffy.

"It's another word for country, but what do you mean by… you're a nation…?" asked Nami, confused.

England thought for a moment. "To put it simply, we're the anthropomorphic personifications of the nation."

"That's simply?" Ussop made a disgusted face.

"Cap'n means… you're the spirit of the nation given human form…?" asked Robin. "No way…"

England nodded. "We are. You see that map?" he pointed to the map. "You can't read Norwegian, but here's my… body, for lack of a better word. We refer to the land as our house so that we don't get confused."

Compared to all the other countries, he was pretty darn small. "Ooh…" said Luffy.

"That's Germany, that's France, Spain's over there, America's on that other continent, Canada's north of him; there's Belarus, Hungary and Austria border one another… Italy's the one shaped like a boot. Plus, Italy is north Italy, and Romano is south Italy, so they share halves."

"Where's Japan?" asked Zoro.

"Over here. China's this one… And Russia's that huge one."

"Where's Prussia? And Sealand?" asked Chopper.

Prussia looked annoyed. "All right, rub it in, vill you?!" he shouted. "I stopped existing as a nation more zan fifty years ago! So now I am East Germany!"

"I'm… not officially recognized as a nation…" said Sealand.

"Remember that boat we came on?" said Canada. "That was Sealand. All of his land."

"That's tiny…" said Nami.

"Exactly," said Prussia. "You vant to see how big I vas? Look!"

He took out a map, with the same continent but with different borders. "I'm zat big vone," he bragged.

"Oh, if we're showing off, then take a look at this!" England shouted, and got out another map of the world. "All extents of the British Empire, not necessarily at the same time."

"Wait, 'British'?" said Nami.

"Er… I also go by the name of Britain…" said England. "I'll explain off-screen."

"Fine then."

"Wow, that's huge!" said Luffy.

"Hey!" shouted Spain. "I had the name of 'The Empire Where the Sun Never Sets' first!" (**It's true**!)

"I had Jeanne D'Arc and Napoleon!" shouted France.

"Napoleon could not invade Russia, da?" said Russia. "I am still biggest."

"I invented the compass! And paper! And the printing press!" China shouted. (**Also true**.)

"Ve~ I had Leonardo Da Vinci!" said Italy. "And fratello has…"

"THE FREAKING MAFIA!" shouted Romano. "You guys get glory, I get the mafia!"

"I HAVE THE BEST ECONOMY!" bragged America. [1]

"HOCKY!" Canada shouted.

"Oh yeah? Vell, I vas in charge of ze Holy Roman Empire," said Austria. "Zat is, until…"

"Yeah…" agreed Prussia. I wasn't sure about what went between them, but it was definitely important.

"What about you, Belarus?" asked Ussop.

"I am going to marry Big Brother!" she declared.

There was a pause. And then England spoke up.

"It's not as bad as you might think," he said. "Austria used to be married to Spain even though they're both male. Also, Austria's vital regions are an actual region, so when Prussia invaded, it was a literal invasion of Silesia."

"Oh… so when Austria forced Spain to marry him, it was a union of both countries," said Robin. "Nothing too crazy…"

"And the reason why we never told you the name of the languages that we speak is because they are derived from the name of the country," said Canada. "For example, France speaks French, China speaks Chinese, Belarus speaks Belarusian…"

"So you speak Canada-ese?" asked Luffy.

"No… I speak English and French," said Canada. "And all of our relationships I told you are paraphrases of what actually happened. England adopting America was him taking him in as a colony. And that happened when we were children."

"Hold on," I interrupted. "How old are you, exactly? Do you not age at the same rate and stop after you hit a certain point?"

"No," said England. "We age depending on how developed we are as nations. Even though I am older than Hungary, she still appears to be older. Of course, America and Canada developed very quickly over a small space of time, so they are a little different."

"Younger, you mean," I said.

"Exactly," said England.

Robin seemed to notice something. "But does time pass differently between dimensions?" she asked. "Did a shorter period of time pass here compared to twenty years?"

"No…" said England guiltily. "Longer, actually… Something like four hundred years."

There was a long, hard silence. I broke it.

"… How… _old_ are you…?"

"Almost two thousand," said England. "France is a little older, and both Italy brothers are older than him. Prussia is almost eight hundred, Austria is more than a thousand, and Germany's among the youngest of the Europeans even though we haven't been able to pinpoint his age. Russia and Belarus are around the same age, and Spain is… about two thousand seven hundred…"

"We're about four hundred," said America. "Me and Canada, that is. Sealand is around fifty."

"And China is the eldest, at five thousand," said Sealand. "Japan doesn't like to tell people his age."

I watched the other's reactions. "You're not surprised?" asked Canada.

"Not really," said Nami. "It actually makes more sense now. All the arguments you had were settled with time. Plus, it's hard to be surprised when you live in a place where eating a magical fruits can give you super powers."

America looked at England. "Why does that remind me of psychedelic drugs…?"

England turned a bright shade of scarlet. "L-look! That was only a stage! And don't forget what you did, too!"

"So you left me for four hundred years…?" asked Robin.

England hung his head. "Yes… I'm sorry, Robin."

Robin was silent for a moment. And then she smiled. "Ah… Cap'n, I did feel horrible at first, but… you leaving the Jacks ended up leaving me with my nakama," she said. "It was fate."

England looked up. "So… you forgive me?" he asked.

SLAP! "Now I do," she said.

Creak… "Um… is this the right place?" asked a tiny, nervous voice. A kid who looked about nine peeked through.

"Priviet, Latviya," said Russia.

"GYAAAAHAHH!" the kid screamed. "K-Krievija!" (**Russia**)

America stood up. "Don't even think about it!" he yelled at Russia.

"Um… I was told that there was going to be a drinking contest here…" said the kid. "I'm Latvia, by the way."

"Who told you that?" asked Norway.

"Denmark did."

There was a knock at the door, and the sound of something big moving… "Come in, Ukraine," said Norway.

An extremely buxom woman stepped in, crying. "Russia!" she cried, hugging him. "Belarus!" she hugged her. "I was so worried about the two of you!"

"That's Ukraine, their older sister," Canada said. "Unlike her siblings, she's really nice…"

"Unless you get invaded by her," said a tall person who entered from the back door. "I'm Lithuania."

Russia stepped up to him. "Are you insulting my sister?" he asked with an intimidating aura.

Lithuania glared at him. "No, I am stating a fact," he said coldly. "Your sister and I fought several times in the past."

"But that is the past, da?" said Russia. "Will you join the Commonwealth of In-"

"No!" Lithuania shouted. "And neither will Estonia or Latvia! We are not going to join you ever again!" [2]

"OI! It's me, Norge!" shouted a new voice. This guy… he looked like some kind of action hero.

"Denmark? What are you doing here?" asked Norway.

"What do you think?! Everyone's come here to welcome you guys back!" he roared. "We're celebrating with a drinking contest!"

And then he slapped England on the back. "I don't think I deserved that one," said England.

And then Nami slapped him. "How could you leave Robin!?" she shouted, and sat down next to Denmark. Zoro followed her.

"I might have deserved that one," said England.

And then a dark-skinned woman entered, and bashed him on the head with a coconut. "I reckon you don't think you deserved that one?" asked Sealand.

"Nope, I definitely deserved that one."

"Jamaica!" Spain shouted, and he hugged the dark-skinned woman.

She threw him over her shoulder and stalked off, muttering.

"All right, we're waiting for a few more people!" shouted Denmark. "For the drinking contest, that is. Even though we've got the best drinker in the world right here!"

"Is that a challenge?" Nami asked chillily.

"No, it's a fact," said Denmark.

"Hey, you can't haf a drinking contest visout Vest und I!" shouted Prussia, and he dragged his brother to the table next to Nami.

"By the way, this whole thing is your mess now," Norway said to England.

"Wait, what?!"

"Not the party, it's my basement. But now you're going to have to send everyone back _and_ turned them back to normal."

"… Darn."

I glanced at Hungary. "You know, now it all makes sense, you being a girl and all," I said.

"How so?" she asked.

"Remember when you showed us that picture of you? I thought that you were the man on the left," I said.

"Bulgaria? I can see zat…"

"And it also explains why you use a frying pan. It is acceptable for anyone to use a frying pan, but it's mostly women who use it as a weapon."

"Ah. So that's why you're called England and Britain," said Nami.

"Yes. It is rather complicated, isn't it?" said England.

I saw Robin walk upstairs. Chopper seemed to notice, and he scurried after her. "Excuse me," I said to Hungary, and I followed them up the stairs.

The stairs led to what appeared to be a living room, furnished with couches and bookshelves. Robin plopped herself onto one.

"How are you feeling?" Chopper asked. "I saw you come up here…"

Robin gazed out the window. "I… why did I forgive Cap'n?" she mused. "I never believed in fate, but… he didn't seem to have a reason not to leave me…"

Chopper sat down next to her. "Robin… you know, I used to live with a man called Dr. Hiluluk. He took me in when no one else would…"

Robin looked at him in awe. "I understand what happened to you," Chopper continued. "Dr. Hiluluk ended up abandoning me… but I still forgave him, even before I found out that he did it so that I wouldn't have to see him die."

He turned to Robin. "You forgave him in the end, even though you made an excuse. But don't we always make excuses for the ones we love?"

Robin was astounded. Chopper realized what he said, and blushed. "I-I mean…"

"Chopper," said Robin. "It's okay."

"Oh. Phew…"

The two of them left. Before I could emerge from my hiding place, two others replaced them. America and England…

England settled himself onto the couch. "America…" he said sadly, "Robin is right. I all but abandoned her… I left her there, and forgot about her."

America sat down next to him, completely somber. "England…" he said softly. He didn't say 'Iggy', I noticed. He said his real name. "I remember, a long time ago… It was so long ago that I can't even think of it as real…"

"Spit it out, will you," said England. He acted crabby, but I knew that that was the only way he knew to react. England definitely wasn't going to be sappy in front of America.

"England… you were the one who raised me," America said quietly. "Remember when you left me? I cried that day… but you know what? I got stronger. I thought that if only I was stronger, then you would be proud of me. Back then… I thought that you wanted me to grow up."

"I didn't," England said. "If only you had stayed small… then you wouldn't have rebelled."

"Back then…" America kept going. "After I had finished crying, I thought… I thought that you trusted me to be an adult. Don't feel guilty, England. That was a sign that you trusted her to be strong."

England looked at the ground. "That's the thing. She wasn't ready. She had to run… and run… everywhere she went, someone died. America… what I did to you I did to Robin. But Robin never had anyone else. You had your people."

America shifted. "Would it have made a difference if you came back?" he asked. "Believe me, England. I know what it's like to fight a war of independence from both sides. Remember my Civil War? North against South? I had to fight against my own people… my states… my South thought that the war was a new war of independence."

"And here I thought you were getting yourself into a bloody mess," said England. "Why did you try to get your South back, anyway? It was just another Independence war. YOU did it to me without a second thought."

"If I didn't get my South back right after they left, then I'd never be whole again," America said bluntly. "England… if I lost the war with you and never became independent, I would have grumbled about it forever, but I would still have stayed with you. But that boat has sailed. Think of it this way: right now, would you even think of annexing me?"

England seemed taken aback at this question. "Wh-what?! N- Of course not!"

"It's like that with Robin. It's not that she spread her wings. It's because she would remember those cracks. I mean… It's a bit of national pride how I beat you when I declared independence—not to me, but to my people, I mean—There's just no way that I can become part of your territory again."

"I see…" England said. "Right now, the two of us are allies, but that's all we are. Close, but at arm's length."

"Robin's the same way. You two are close, but you're not the same as you were before. Not only that, she considers Luffy her captain. She calls you Cap'n out of habit more than anything else."

England nodded. "I probably should have noticed…"

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see someone who looked at lot like Romano… "Ciao, bella!" he said.

I stared at him blankly. He sighed. "Ah, it just doesn't work on someone who doesn't know any Italian…" he said. "I'm Seborga, Veneziano and Romano's little brother."

"I'm Tashigi- wait, Veneziano?" I repeated. "I don't know-"

"Italy," he said. "Veneziano and Romano are both actually two halves of Italy, but Veneziano is known as Italy as a whole."

"And what about you?" I asked. "If you're not a half, then who are you?"

"I'm a micronation. Basically, I declared independence from Italy, but I'm not officially a nation," Seborga explained. "There isn't really a rule, but I'm not acknowledged."

"Ah," I said, not really understanding. [3]

"By the way, do you want to watch the other's drinking contest? I mean, we all know the outcome…"

"I don't," I said. "But since there's nothing better to do, fine."

We descended down the stairs, and emerged into the crowded basement. The amount of people seemed to multiply, but all had one thing in common. Everyone except Sanji seemed to be either drinking or watching the others drink, and were having a great time. Even Smith was enjoying himself.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Hello."

AAAHHHH! I didn't scream, but I almost did.

"Oh, c-ciao, Sweden," said Seborga shyly.

"'nd wh' 'r' you?" Sweden asked. (**And who are you**?)

"He's asking who you are," Seborga whispered to me.

"Oh. Er… I'm Tashigi…"

"'m Sw'd'n," he said. (**I'm Sweden**.) He looked around. "'m I l't'?" (**Am I late**?)

"Kind of…" Seborga admitted.

Sweden looked around. "W'll, n't th't l't'. 'm g'ng t' l'k f'r 'm w'fe." (**Well, not that late. I'm going to look for my wife**.) He walked through the crowd.

"Ooh, is she pretty?" Sanji appeared from behind us.

Sweden emerged, holding onto someone's hand. I couldn't see who it was behind all those people.

"Hel~lo, Miss-" Sanji cried, but he stopped.

"Th's 's m' w'fe," said Sweden. (**This is my wife**.)

Sweden's 'wife' was a man. A young, baby-faced man. The same one who flew on the sleigh and gave us presents, for that matter. "H-hei…" he said shyly.

Sanji staggered, but recovered soon enough. He then left the scene and tried to hit on a woman who was clearly a woman.

I saw him a little while later, and he was hitting on another woman, who slapped him. Spain slid over next to him. "Ah, Sanji, I really don't want you to hit on Argentina. Or Venezuela. Or-"

"Why not?" asked Sanji.

"Because they really mean a lot to me, and-"

"You tackled them from behind! And tried to hug them!" Sanji protested.

Spain turned bright red. "Th-that's because—I-" he paused. "Now that the bomb has been dropped, there's nothing to say but the truth."

"The truth? What, are they your ex- girl-"

"I'm their father."

Sanji stared at Spain for a full minute before opening his mouth. "…"

"Yeah… You see, I colonized the present day lands of their countries, so…"

"…You look nothing alike."

Spain sighed. "That's lack of genetics for you… It's complicated, and I have no intention of finding out."

"But didn't you…" Sanji made a strange gesture involving what appeared to be a hole and a stick.

"No," said Spain. "It doesn't work that way. You see how few girls there are around here?"

"Oh. Can't you-"

"No."

England had apparently had taken one sip of rum and got drunk, which wasn't that surprising. At least, that's what Robin had said.

"But why can't I drink!?" America whined to France.

"You are underage," he said firmly.

"I'm over three hundred!" America protested.

"Physically nineteen," France added.

"It's legal at eighteen everywhere else…Why did they make the legal drinking age twenty-one, anyway?" America asked.

"Your laws," said France in a final tone.

"Let him," said Norway. "He's not going to grow up any time soon. You might as well."

"Can I-"

"No, Sealand."

Zoro had stopped, but the others were still going strong. Russia and a bunch of others had joined them, and the stack of empty bottles was slowly increasing.

Japan had set up a strange box in the corner. "It is a karaoke machine," he said. "You sing into se microphone. Now, who wants to try?"

The first to come was Jamaica, who sang a song about how she shot the sheriff.

Austria and Liechtenstein were talking civilly, until a talking skeleton showed up.

"Yoohoohooo! Even though I've got no guts, let's play a duet!" it said to Austria.

"Ja," said Austria. "Piano?"

"Sure!"

Liechtenstein nodded uncertainly.

There was a knock at the door. Norway opened it, and a man holding a gigantic stack of short boxes was revealed. He said something in another language, and Norway glared at Denmark. The drunken Denmark shrugged. With a sigh, Norway took the boxes and laid them on a table. He then handed the man a wad of what looked like paper money. "Pizza's here," he called.

"Great!" shouted America; and he opened one of the boxes and took a slice of pizza.

Out of sheer determination, Nami somehow managed to beat out Germany, who left to eat sausage.

England took one bite of the pizza and retched. "Wh-who put sugar on the pizza!? AMERICA!"

America turned around. "What? It wasn't me…"

I saw Canada blush, and edge away. There was a gallon-sized container of maple syrup in his hand, half-empty.

Spain tried to push his way to the drinks table, but Norway blocked him. "Not even Sve can take you when you're drunk. I'm not letting you near alcohol when you're in my house."

"In your house or your… house?" Spain asked uncertainly.

"Nowhere within my borders," said Norway with an icy aura. I could have sworn that I could see the silhouette of a troll behind him…

Prussia was drinking beer like water, but Russia was drinking vodka like water. A pretty blonde girl was saying something about how vodka was actually wodka, and kept on drinking said 'wodka'.

Sanji instantly singled her out as his next target. "Hello, you're-"

She turned around. "Oh, cześć," she said with a clear slur (**Hello**). "I'm P-P-Polska… Or Poland…"

"Well, Miss Polska, you're looking-"

Lithuania sighed, and got off of his chair. "Your name is Sanji, right?" he asked levelly.

Sanji saw this as defiance, strangely enough. "What, are you neglecting your girlfr-"

"Sanji. Poland is a guy."

Sanji stared at him. "Hah… no way…"

Lithuania sighed. "It's true," he said. "I see him without a shirt all the time."

To prove it, Lithuania grabbed the bottom of Poland's shirt and revealed his completely flat chest to Sanji. Sanji stared for a while. "…Not again…"

The vodka ran out soon enough, and Russia lost interest in anything that wasn't vodka. Poland had drunk his fill and left.

"Hello, miss!" Sanji said to Ukraine, a definitely feminine woman with a chest as large as…

"Oh, hi…" she said shyly. "Er… would you like some borsht?"

"Sure~! You know, you're a very attractive wo-"

"Hello, Sanji," said Russia from behind him. "I would really appreciate it if you would stop hitting on my older sister."

Sanji gulped. "You're… his sister?" he asked.

"Yes. I am Ukraine," she said.

"So please leave her alone, or else…" Russia threatened. "Kolkolkol…"

At last, Prussia couldn't take it anymore and fell asleep. Denmark and Nami were neck-and-neck, drinking like crazy.

"Guh…" Denmark groaned.

"Hah… so you're done?" asked Nami.

"Not… yet…"

Nami and Denmark both took one final sip of beer and slumped to the ground.

"Ehe…" Nami laughed. "Eheheheheh… So, Denmark…" she said quietly. "You really are the… best drinker in the world…"

Denmark looked puzzled. "D-did I say that?"

"Yeah… you said that the best drinker in the world was right here…"

"I was _talking_ about _Latvia_." Denmark pointed to the table.

"…Oh." Nami tossed a brief glance at the table, and promptly fainted.

I stared at the short kid. Sure enough, he was the last one at the table, and still going for another Samanė.

"Is he old enough to drink?" I asked out loud.

"He _is_ about seven hundred years old," said a mild voice. A kid with glasses was sitting next to me, smiling. "Physically, he is fifteen, however."

I stared at Latvia. At first sight he did look like a little boy… until I cut his body out of my line of sight with my fingers and looked at his face. NOW he looked fifteen.

"You see? I am Estonia, by the way."

"Tashigi," I said.

Estonia glanced around at the party. "You know, I wonder where we're going to sleep tonight. There's no way all of us can go home this late in time to sleep…"

I looked around. "Do you think Norway will let us stay here?"

Estonia shrugged. "He'll let you stay, but he will probably send most of us to motel or something. There are about two hundred of us here, after all."

"Two hundred…?" I repeated. "There are that many countries in this world?"

"More or less."

"Back in our world, there are only a handful of what we can call countries," I said.

"Really? But who are you counting? Tribes, ethnic groups, people who share a common language, micronations… I existed before I was a country."

I shrugged. "By the way, who's Lukas Bondevik?"

"Norway," said Estonia. "Are you wondering why he calls himself that?"

"Kind of," I admitted.

"I was wondering that, too," Robin appeared next to us. "Why did the others hide their real names for so long?"

Estonia looked up. "That's to avoid suspicion. Not that many people would wonder if someone is personified nation, but it is so that we are not memorable."

"Why?" asked Robin.

"We just want to blend in," said Estonia. "I mean, it would be suspicious if someone called himself… what's a major geographical feature in your world?"

"The Grand line," Robin put up. "But why?"

"Who would have a name like that? Someone who is worth turning into the police, or at least remembering," said Estonia. "We don't want to be remembered. I mean, we can't die under normal circumstances and we age at different rate, so most people would think that we're immortal. And then people would think that we know the secret of immortality… and then all gets messy."

"I think I read a book about something like that…" I said.

"But not all of us keep it that secret. We're obligated to tell the leaders of our countries, but we also tell people who we really trust. Germany and Prussia told their squadron during one of our wars, and France…"

He gave us a sad look. "For a long time, our governments were monarchies, or something along those lines. It was like that for centuries, and somewhere along the line we began to tell the royal family about us… And then the French Revolution came."

"It was understandable why France's people rioted. Famine spread like wildfire, and it did not help that half their taxes used by monarchy to pay for luxurious lifestyles. But then… they killed the king and his wife. Executed. France became republic, and lost the few people he could truly confide in."

"What about you guys?" I asked. "You seem to get along-"

Estonia shook his head. "Not back then. War was not uncommon, and it wasn't unusual for the world map to change every few years. France not very well liked… And once his new boss, Napoleon, began to conquer the rest of Europe…"

"But that's another story. After that, France began to really live among his people. He never bothered to disguise his identity, ever."

I was shocked.

"Oh, and England can see the future when he's drunk," said a voice behind me. I spun around. Romania! He was eating some kind of fried food off of a paper plate. "Want some calamari?"

"How did you sneak up on us like that?!" I shouted. I could easily sense people, but he…

"I don't have a shadow," he said.

"YOU DON'T HAVE A SHADOW?!" screamed Brooke. "DID GEKKO MORIAH STEAL-"

"Or a reflection," Romania added. "You see, I'm a partial vampire."

"Don't worry, he doesn't suck blood," said Estonia. "But since he's a nation, he's not immortal either but at the same time can't possibly have the weaknesses. So he gets only the weird stuff…"

"Ah," I said. "And why is it relevant that England sees the future when drunk?"

"It only happens occasionally," protested Romania. "But when he does, he speaks of events that haven't happened yet, or at least babbles about them. He predicted the death of John Lennon long before it actually happened. Heck, it was before John Lennon was born!"

"Who's John Lennon?" I asked.

"He's… a musician…" said Estonia. "But saying that is like saying that your sword is an instrument of murder."

"It's not!" I protested.

"That's the point. He was _that_ good."

"And who were the seven that Sealand was born to fight?" asked Robin.

"The Axis. Germany, Japan, both Italy brothers, Hungary, Bulgaria and I," said Romania. "Technically, Prussia should be added to that list, but I guess that he just didn't acknowledge him… Basically, there was a gigantic war… Sealand was built by England as a fort to guard him."

"And what of Romano's debt to Spain?"

"Spain took Romano in for centuries, although I can't imagine why he would feel indebted to him… Then again, who knows what those two think."

"Why is Sealand made of metal?" Zoro interrupted.

"He's a special case. The fort he personifies is made of metal… I don't know how it works either."

"Wait… what happened to his… er… body?" Robin asked. "You know; the boat we came on…"

"We teleported his land along with the rest of us. It's right where it's supposed to be right now: off the coast of Britain."

"Why are all of you gathered here, anyway?" I asked.

"Poland called a meeting a while back, just to take attendance. We decided to stick around for a while so that we didn't waste our time coming there."

"Why did it take you so long to teleport everyone back to this world?" asked Robin.

"We needed someone who knew magic to help create a portal from the other side. England lost his magical knowledge when he lost his memory, so we had to wait until he got it back before we could actually start the spell up. It doesn't matter if the person is willingly helping; only that he knows how."

"But how did he get here in the first place?" she countered. "No one here knew any-"

"You don't need someone on the other side if you're teleporting yourself," explained Romania. "So you can't banish someone to an alternate dimension unless someone on the other end is there to receive that person, but you can transport them if you're going too. That rule is probably so that no one gets stranded. If you are teleported, then there is someone who can get you back."

"But in that case, how are _we_ going to get back? We don't have a magic user…"

Romania paused. "You'll have to ask England for that."

"How did Hungary and Belarus get here?" Robin asked. "Maybe you can use the same method."

Romania thought for a minute. Then he got out a large, blank sheet of paper, and answered with drawings. "Think of the portals as doors… or gates. Once a gate is opened, anyone can pass through until someone shuts it. But it takes a lot of effort to build a working gate in the middle of a wall; the wall being the barrier between worlds."

"That's a good analogy," said Norway from the other side of the room. "I'll be sure to use that one again."

"The gates that England made were still 'open'," Romania continued, "so Norway set the spells up so that the others went through those 'open' gates. Our method required us to create a new gate to get all of you at the same time, so it took longer. Oh, and since the same 'open' gates were used again for Belarus and Hungary, both of them were teleported to the exact same places where the others were. Unfortunately, Norway could not pinpoint which gate each person went through, so Belarus went through Prussia's instead of Russia's. Hungary went through Austria's, but I guess he just wasn't there at the time."

"So England could just use the same one you two made to get us back?" Robin asked.

Romania thought on this. "Well… yeah, I guess…"

"Great! I'll tell him when he's sober."

"But how did he teleport all of us so easily?" Canada asked.

"Who said it was easy?" Romania snorted. "Magic on that scale takes a lot of mental strain, so that's why he lost his memory. He made gates for each of you: that's thirteen gates."

"But if the gates are open, then can people just… fall into other dimensions?" I found myself asking.

Romania thought. "When I say 'open', I mean as in 'not locked', not… wide open. Anyone who knows enough magic can go through an open gate."

"Hey, I haf anozzer question," said Germany. "Vy did Italy gain such strength on-"

"Italy is stronger whenever he's on a boat," said Romania. "You didn't know it, but you were on a giant boat."

"What happened to the squid cat?" I asked.

"What do you think I'm eating right now?"

I looked down at Romania's plate. "Fried… squid?"

"It's not bad…"

"Especially with a lot of maple syrup," Canada said, bottle in hand.

Romania stared at him, even though he appeared to have trouble seeing him. "You were the one who dumped all that syrup on the pizza, weren't you?"

"M-maple…" Canada faded away.

I turned to Estonia. "Hungary's human name is Héderváry, right? So what's her last-"

"That is her last name," he explained. "Her first name is Elizabeta."

"So that's why she never gave her first name…" said John. "That explains a lot."

"What is the fastest land animal?" Luffy asked Romania

"The cheetah." [4]

Norway got out a loudspeaker, and shouted, "Okay, everyone has to get out of here in one hour! That is, except for those of you from the alternate dimension, and England."

"What about the law of hospitality!?" shouted a kid with a puffin.

"Iceland, I can force you out if you overstep your boundaries. Besides, I can kill you, and that's still legal under said laws."

For some reason, everyone cleared out rather quickly. That is, except for three people— Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia. They hid behind the couch, and Norway glanced at them. "You three can stay. I know you want to avoid Russia, and I'm not about to let him get you."

All three sighed in relief. "Thank you," said Lithuania.

"You're welcome." Norway said. He turned to us. "You all can stay in the rooms upstairs. I probably have enough rooms to fit all of you, but it'll be packed."

"We'll sleep down here," said Lithuania. "Are you two okay with that?"

"Jā," said Latvia.

"Jah," said Estonia.

"Then it's settled," said Norway. "England, I'll let you sleep here for the time being. That way you can use my notes. I will give you the coordinates to their dimension that Finland found, but only because Romania and I already know that as of right now. We're not going to help you any more than that."

England nodded groggily. "Still my fault?"

"Still your fault."

I looked at Smoker. "Are we… still under truce?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "Norway brought us in, and I'm not about to start a fight in his house."

"This Norway fellow… he seems to be a nice guy," said John.

"He did feed us, and give us a place to stay," said Mark.

"But he did say that he's not helping England get us back," Smith muttered.

"He did help!" I shouted. "Well… partially…"

"I know Norway," said Estonia. "At least, better than most…Anyway, it's not to spite us or England, it's because he just doesn't want to work any harder after such a huge project."

John yawned. "Well, I'm going to bed. Let's all sleep together; except for you, Tashigi."

"I'm fine with that," I said. As much as I trusted my shipmates, that didn't change the fact that I was a girl and they were guys.

"I'll take Nami to our room," volunteered Robin.

"There are only four rooms that I can spare," said Norway. "And since there are so many guys compared to girls, you three girls are going to have to share a room."

"Eh!?" I said. "B-but they're pirates!"

"Doesn't matter," said Norway. "Oh, and since you're a reindeer, it doesn't matter if you're in the same room as a human of the opposite gender, so you share too," he said to Chopper.

"That's fine…" said Chopper nervously.

"The rooms are upstairs, and they're all identical. You all figure the rest out," Norway finished. "I'm going to bed."

He opened another door, and left.

"Well… I'm tired," said John.

"Let's see… there are four male Marines, and… Luffy, Zoro, Ussop, Sanji, Franky, Brooke… six of you," said Robin. We can all even it out if you six split into three."

"That works surprisingly well…" said Mark.

"So they're outnumbered, divide and conquer…" said Smith.

"Shut up," I said.

"Fine."

I looked at Robin. So she's the Devil's child… and I have to sleep next to her?

"You can always sleep with the guys," Robin suggested as if she read my mind. "And I can read your expression, not your mind."

"Don't worry, it'll be fine if you sleep with Mark and Smith," said Smoker. "After all, they are ga-"

"Shut up!" said Mark and Smith in unison.

Estonia patted them on the back. "It is okay, you don't have to hide it…"

"Besides, we all know what happened between Lithuania and Poland," said Latvia.

Lithuania blushed. "I-it vas not like zat!" he said, but they laughed.

"We were only joking," said Estonia.

"We were there, after all," added Latvia.

"The whole time."

"All the time."

England stood up. "I don't care if you're gay or not," he said, slightly annoyed. "It doesn't matter. Either way, you can't share a room with a woman. Think of the woman, too!"

"Back in my day, there were only three instances in which a man could share a room with a woman!" said John. "If you're family, if married, or if one of you is in the hospital and you're visiting or you're the doctor or the nurse!"

He paused. "But… since you're a reindeer, it's okay for you," he said to Chopper.

I looked at both of them. "All right… I'll sleep with them."

Robin and Chopper picked Nami up, and up to the room Norway told us about. There were two bunk beds, each with heavy blankets and sheets. On the door was a sign that I couldn't read. Less than a second later, I was suddenly able to identify the words as, "It gets cold here. Use the blankets. Stay warm! Brush your teeth." The thing is; I didn't detect the letters changing or moving at all.

Robin tucked Nami in on one of the bottom bunks, presumably because it was much easier than placing her on top. "So, Tashigi, Chopper," said Robin.

"Yes…?" I said.

"Top or bottom?"

"Either," I said.

"Bottom," said Chopper.

"I'll go on top, then," she said. "I'll brush my teeth last, you two go rock-paper-scissors…"

"Robin, I have hooves," said Chopper.

"You got before me, then," I said.

"The bathroom is on the right," said Robin.

I settled onto the top bunk above Nami. Norway did have warm blankets… he really did think of everything. You know what…? I needed a bath. "I'm going to go bathe," I said.

Robin looked at the sign. "Now it says that there is a bath on the left."

"That is strange," I said.

Robin shrugged. "How about rock-paper-scissors?"

I lost, and Robin went to take that bath before me. I lay on the bed until Chopper finished brushing his teeth, where I took over. When Robin came back, she told me that it was my turn. It was a nice bath…

I saw movement out the door. Was it… an enemy? I forgot that I was in Norway's house, and grabbed my katana and slipped into a bathrobe. I cracked opened the door, and saw Nami sneaking along in the hallway. What was she up to? Why is she out this long?

Nami was a professional thief. I was sure I knew what she was after…

Norway's treasure.

Nami didn't detect my presence at all. Not even when she came to the room marked 'DO NOT ENTER'. And especially after she opened the door, revealing—

A vat. Labeled 'Oil'.

"Oh. So you've found my emergency oil supply?"

Nami and I spun around. Norway was standing there. "What? It's my house," he said.

"H-how…?" Nami asked.

"Were you planning on stealing my treasure?" Norway asked coldly.

"Wh-what? N- Of cou-"

"Go ahead," he said.

Did I… "Did I hear you right?" Nami asked uncertainly.

"I said, go ahead. It's all in that room over there. But you'll have to get it out of the bag first."

"You put all your treasure in one bag?" Nami asked suspiciously.

"Just try to get it out," he said.

He turned around and looked straight at me. "You can come too."

Nami spun around. "T-Tashigi!? How long have you-"

"Ever since you woke up and got out," said Norway. He didn't even look at us, which made me wonder if that was really his body he was in. Then again, he is the personification of a nation… I guess that it was because he had two bodies. And maybe he could see everything since I was on top of his body… that sounded wrong.

Norway led us to a door that I didn't see before, and opened it. Inside was a giant ship with a plaque labeled 'Skidbladnir' next to it. A small bag lay on top of the ship, containing something that appeared to be valuable. The opening was sealed with some kind of knot…

"If you can open the bag, then the treasure is yours," urged Norway.

Nami pointed up. "Why is there a hammer dangling from the mast?"

"That's Miölnir, Thor's hammer, or at least a copy of it," said Norway. "I positioned it so that it would drop on anyone who went under."

Nami set off the trap, and dodged out of the way. She then looked at the knot for five seconds. Then she took out a knife and tried to saw at the knot. "You're trying to trick me, aren't you," she said. "This knot can't be untied, can it?"

Norway smiled faintly. "It's a Troll Knot. And you're right. Neither the Thunder God Thor nor the Trickster God Loki could untie one when Utgardsloki used it to tie their bag of food. They couldn't eat for the rest of the day."

Okaaay. Now we've got a guy who talks about gods as if they're real people…

Nami stopped trying to cut the knot with her knife. "And I can't cut this rope, either…"

"That's because it's made of Sif's hair. Sif is a goddess, and the hair of a woman is her most prized possession. Loki cut it off and replaced it with hair made of real gold. She accepted it graciously, and I took her old hair."

Nami examined the bag. Then she cut a hole in the side of it. "The bag isn't anything special, is it?" she asked. "So then I can cut it like anything else."

Norway nodded. "Now you just have to get the treasure out. The bag is superglued to the floor, after all."

Magical knots and superglue. Okay. This was officially strange.

Nami tried to yank the treasure in the bag, but it was too heavy. "Seriously? The one thing that's in here; and it's too heavy?" she said. "It's a bracelet!"

"It is charmed to multiply itself every so often," said Norway. "Every ninth night, eight golden rings will spring from it. Wonder why I keep it locked up? It's made of gold. It's the Draupnir, which the dwarf Sindri made to prove that he was better than-"

Nami stared at him. "Then why would you want to give away something that good? At least, you're not actively trying to trip me up…"

Norway waved his hand in the direction of the gold. "Let's say that I sold the gold. Then the value of gold would drop drastically, and then the amount of money I get for a given amount of gold will decrease drastically. And that's not even counting what would happen to other people… and those on the gold standard."

He sat down on a chair that suddenly appeared. "But you, Nami… you're a pirate. You're a wanderer, and from what I've heard your economy isn't stable enough for this thing to cause any trouble. Whatever you spend on some islands won't necessarily impact the economy of other islands. So if you manage to get that thing out, you can take it. Of course, Odin would be angry at both of us, but I'm willing to take that risk. If you are also willing to take that risk, remember that Odin's lance, Gungnir, never misses and he can impale you without a-"

"Fine!" Nami threw her hands up in the air. "I'm not going to steal that thing! I'm going to bed!"

She stormed off. I looked at Norway. "Are you trying that hard to stop her from getting that thing?" I asked. Then I paused. "But then again, you did tell her about the gold thing, and that she could if she wanted to…"

Norway shrugged. "She could, but she didn't want to enough. I was only stating facts."

This guy… he's so confusing and contradictory… But at least he's harmless.

"But if Nami HAD tried to steal it without me knowing, I would probably have ripped her to pieces," he said.

Scratch that.

"Not to mention the fact that she would have to get past Golden Bristles."

"Wh-"

"The boar."

"What boar?"

"The one that just bashed its head against yours." [5]

X

I woke up the next morning with my head throbbing… and there wasn't any light. I only knew that it was morning by the glowing numbers that said '7:34 AM'. A clock, was it?

Nami, Robin, and Chopper weren't here. Seeing this, I got out of bed and groped for a light switch. Sure enough, there was one right where I thought there was. I flipped it, and found my uniform sitting on the table next to me. Quickly, I changed and rushed out the door to the kitchen.

Sure enough, the others were already awake. All of the nations that we came with had come back to cook and eat, with mixed results. I was glad to see that France was distracted by his own frying pan, but Luffy was eating everything that was being cooked so that no one else got to eat. Not for lack of trying, however. I saw Germany trying to fend his arms off with a cheese grater, and Prussia actually tackled him to the ground. When he tried to eat off of Austria's plate, Hungary bashed his with her frying pan. I still had trouble thinking of her as a girl…

Sealand was having a lot of French toast, and a lot of sausages. Well, fifty years old or not, he's still a child on the inside.

Italy was cooking, but Germany was cleaning up obsessively after him. Nami and Canada were drinking some sort of syrupy drink… was that maple syrup? America was pouring it all over a gigantic stack of pancakes, which he took from an even bigger stack.

Robin somehow managed to use her power to put a copy of her mouth onto the table and another arm with eyes on it. The arm seemed to be putting food into the mouth. Robin was reading in the meantime.

Spain and Romano were eating tomatoes, while Italy grabbed a few to make whatever he was cooking. Romano glared at him, but Spain reassured him by saying that there were enough tomatoes to go around.

Sanji was cooking for all he was worth, but his stockpile of ingredients was slowly being depleted.

For some odd reason, America abandoned his pancakes in favor of wrestling with England. "He's trying to stop him from cooking," Canada whispered to me.

Russia was drinking a glass of water along with some kind of bacon. He turned to me, and offered me a glass. Not one to be rude, I drank it—and almost choked. Alcohol?! At this hour?! Belarus, still in the body of teenager, drank a glass with her brother.0

China and Japan were eating rice, and a lot of it. Eventually, they switched to a kind of rice porridge they called juk.

Nami and Zoro were hung over, and Austria gave them some kind of hangover remedy. "You haf no idea how many times I needed zis," he told them. He rattled off the ingredients, and I jotted them down.

"Hey! Tashigi!" called John. He and the others were sitting at their own part of the table. John was eating sausages with Smoker, while Mark and Smith were nibbling at French toast as discreetly as they could.

"Morning," I said. "Where's Norway? And why's it so dark?"

"It's winter," said Norway from behind. I spun around. When did he get there?! "The sun won't be up completely until spring. Polar Twilight, that's what it's called. Perfect for what you're planning." He directed this last comment to England.

England shrugged. "It would have been better if it were the solstice, but it's a little late for that."

"There's always the Spring Equinox," suggested Canada.

England shook his head. "Not dark enough."

"But it is occult, right?" said America. "That was the time when you turned us all into- mmph!"

England had slapped his hand against America's mouth. "That was an accident, and you bloody well know it!" he shouted.

"But America is right," said Sealand. "You've done plenty of non-accidental magic on those days. You said it yourself; it's the difference between a door that's been oiled and one that's gone rusty."

"How do you know all this?" asked Nami.

"It's the sort of thing you pick up with a crazy black magic using brother who actually managed to summon demons," said Sealand. "Emphasis on black magic."

"Dude, you won't believe what he put us through whenever it was Halloween!" said America.

"Or any day that was even remotely occultly significant…" said Canada.

"Who would have thought that April nineteenth was a day of human sacrifice…" said America. [6]

"With fire, no less," said Canada.

"Good thing we had a fire poker with us, right?" said Sealand.

"And a bottle of castor oil," added Canada.

England waved it off. "You can't die through conventional means, you were perfectly safe."

America stared at him. "Dude. They had a flamethrower."

"Still conventional."

"They were trying to sacrifice our souls to their god!"

"No, they were trying to sacrifice your souls to the spirits of the land. That, by the way, is impossible when you ARE the spirits of the land. Technically speaking."

"I thought we were civilization spirits!" said Sealand.

"Both, actually. I mean, there are actual spirits, but… it's complicated."

Right… "So you don't actually know, do you," I said.

England turned a bright red. "Well… no, not exactly. You see, we sustain damage if our land is attacked, and each part of our bodies corresponds to part of the land."

"Ve~ My right nipple is Corsica!" shouted Italy. "It belongs to France!"

"Too…much…information," Romano said, and he smacked the back of his brother's head.

"V- That hurt!" Italy whined.

"That explains why I saw you hurt twenty years ago, even though I never saw you get that way," Robin mused.

"But then again, there is the fact that we also are hurt by bad economy," England added. "Or anything like that."

"Which is why I'm always coughing blood…" Spain groaned.

France put his arm around Spain. "Your unemployment rate is twenty percent," he said. "Take it easy, oui?"

"Si…" Spain collapsed in his arms. "And… no… groping…"

To my surprise, France relented to Spain's wishes and didn't touch him at all. Well, he did keep him upright, and he did lay him on the couch—you know what I mean!

"Anyway," Smoker waved a hand irritably. "What was it about dimensional work?"

England looked at the ground. "I'm going to have to send you back to your dimension," he said.

"Will we be turned into kids?" asked Luffy.

"No. Those were side effects of dimensional transport that shifted the epicenter of the de-aging spell I previously cast," said England. "The side effect was the re-targeting of the spell, which bypassed normal laws, so Russia, who is normally immune to my magic, had the de-ageing spell cast upon him effectively-"

"Simpler explanation, da?" Russia asked with a pickaxe in one hand, pipe in the other.

"No, you won't," said England simply.

"He meant the other one," said Belarus. She had her knife back in her hand.

England looked up for a moment. "Ah. Let's see… you, Russia, are immune to all forms of magic. Almost. All nations have immunity to magic to an extent, but you're special."

"Thank you."

"That's not a complement, that's a statement of fact," said England irritably. "Now—where were we? Oh, yes. Unless you want them to work, spells don't work on you at all. That's the case with all nations to a lesser extent. But dimensional work is tricky. When crossing dimensions, spells previously cast are removed and transferred to others alongside you. The shifting made it so that you, who are normally immune-"

"Simpler."

"I cast spell on you, no work?" England said. "I cast spell on me, take you with me to other world, spell move to you?"

Russia seemed satisfied.

"But if you send us back…" Robin said.

England nodded gravely. "Who knows when we're going to see you again," he said.

There was a long, hard pause. "Maybe… we should say goodbye?" I suggested awkwardly.

There was a murmur of agreement. "I'll break out the liquor," said Norway.

"Not now," groaned Nami.

"Not after that party…" said Zoro.

"God, I will never drink again," said England.

Norway shrugged. "Have it your way."

John put his arm around Hungary. "No matter what, Hungary, I will always think of you as the one who cleaned out the entire fleet."

Hungary grinned. "Igen, János!" she said.

"Ve, János is how you say John in Hungarian," Italy whispered to him.

"Hey! What about us?!" Mark said indignantly.

Hungary turned to him and Smith. "May you two have a long relationship!" she said happily.

Smith turned a bright red. "Y-it's nothing like that!"

"Suuuure…" said John.

"Do not get down just because Prussia beat you, Smoker!" she said. "You're definitely not veak!"

"I never said I was upset, but thanks for the vote of confidence," he replied.

"As for you, Tashigi…" Hungary trailed off. "Even if everyvone around you seems to be stronger, do not give up! Your strength is incredible! And you have not even reached your full potential! Train more, and you vill be stronger! Ze more you train, ze stronger you vill become!"

"Yes!" I said.

"No time to lose!" Sanji shouted to France. "We've got to start cooking! We've got to share all our recipes!"

"We do not know when we will meet again," said France. "Is it okay if I-"

"NO!"

"I was going to ask you for your watercress!" France protested.

Sanji paused. "Oh. That's fine, then."

"In zat case… I would like to look at your…"

"So you two are cooking meat?" Luffy asked.

"Probably," said Zoro.

"Ve, keep in mind that France has over eight thousand recipes…" said Italy.

"Hey! What about my food!" China shouted.

"Great!" said Sanji. "Let's share ALL of them!"

"Chinese food traditionally doesn't have very much meat," said Romano. "It's more of a sustenance food."

"But it's good!" said America. He paused. "REAL Chinese food, that is. Hey, I AM America, you know! I don't just eat that fake stuff!"

"And when you say real Chinese food, you mean…?" England said testily.

"Pig intestine, whole lizards…"

"Time to write all the recipes down~!"

"Can you teach me how to play the piano like you did?" Brooke asked Austria.

"I can give you ze sheet music," he said. "How much?"

"All of it!"

Needless to say, the whole episode ended with a lot of ink all over the place, everyone being hit hard on the head with Hungary's frying pan, some trouble with chloroform, and a lot of meat being consumed.

Eventually, the only ones left standing were me, Robin, and England. 'Standing' being a broad term… I was actually lying on Norway's couch, but I was still conscious.

Robin and England were sitting on the same couch, since there wasn't any room anywhere else. The silence between there was heavy and awkward, until England spoke.

"R-Robin… if I did come back before you met Luffy and the others… would you still have forgiven me…?" he asked.

Robin was silent for a moment. "I… no. Probably not," she confessed. "I was looking for someone, Cap'n. Someone who wouldn't abandon me."

England looked at the ground. "That's exactly what I did…"

"But the reason why I never hated you was because you never actually tried to betray me," said Robin. "Everyone at that time tried to use me. If you had come back for me and me only, then I would have thought that you really were trying to use me all along."

"But you still don't forgive me," he said.

Robin shifted. "I never said that."

I didn't know how I knew, but I just… knew. Without any more words, England and Robin had completely reconciled. They had reached a quiet understanding.

At last, England stood up. "I'll use the already open gates to send the rest of you back. But to send such a large group on purpose… it'll have to be done at midnight."

"I… have a few questions about that…" I managed to squeeze those words out of my mouth. England and Robin turned to me, startled. "First… is it harder to do it on purpose…? Didn't you… transport yourself…?"

"H-how long were you awake?!" England blushed.

"Just… answer…" I said.

"Very well then. Magic made by accident is not actually easier: it goes unchecked. Sending us to your world was an accident, but the lack of control left my magical reserves unchecked, and the teleportation spell consumed all I had and… wasted it by creating and opening multiple portals in different places. The fact that I was teleported to where you were was a completely random event. But for this, I have to use one particular gate, squish you through it all at once, and leave myself with reserves so that I don't lose my memory like last time."

"Why… midnight?"

"Incredible occult significance," said England. "Plus, it's cooler."

"Ah."

There was another pause.

"Do we just stay here until midnight?" Robin asked.

"Or at least until everyone wakes up…" I said.

Sssss… Something sizzled. "Is something… burning?" I asked. "I smell burnt paper."

Robin turned her head to the source of the sound. "It's coming from Luffy's pocket…"

England slid off of the couch and rustled through Luffy's pockets. "Oh no…" he murmured. "This is bad. I don't know who gave this to him, but… At this point, style can take the back seat. I have to do this right away…"

"What's bad?" I asked. "Is it too late? Can I do anything to help?"

"It's a Vivre card," England shows us a half-burnt piece of paper. "I have no idea how gave it to him."

"But what is a Vivre card?" I asked.

"It is something given to someone you care about," said England. "You tear a piece off, and the two pieces will be attracted to one another. But it also has another function. When the life of the person of whom the card was created for begins to run out, then the paper begins to burn…"

I looked at the paper. "So that means that…"

"Someone who cares about Luffy is dying!" Robin shouted.

Luffy twitched. "Dying…?" he murmured. He sat up. "Who's dying!?"

"Calm down!" Robin said. She took the card. "Who gave this to you?"

"My brother did!" Luffy shouted. "Ace did!"

"He's in trouble! We've got to help him!"

Luffy spun around. "Wake up, everyone! Ace needs help!"

The Straw Hats shuffled around drowsily for a while, but Robin slapped them awake. "England!" Luffy shouted. "Get us back!"

England scrabbled over his book. "Okay, but I can't teleport you all where he is," he said.

"Why not?! Ace's life is in danger!" Luffy shouted.

"There would be insane consequences," said England. "First, I would have to actually find out where he is. Then, I'd have to create a gate, and do you know how long it took for Norway _and_ Romania to create one!? Not to mention that… you'd leave your ship behind."

"I say we don't!" said Franky. "We are NOT going to leave the Thousand Sunny behind!"

"We won't be able to go anywhere without it!" said Sanji. "We'll never reach any of our goals without a ship!"

"All of my treasure is in there!" said Nami. "If we go, then you'll have to pay me back!"

"The Mini Going Merry is on there!" Ussop shouted. "We are not going to leave Going Merry behind again!"

Nami turned around. "How did you know about the Mini Going Merry? We never used it…" [7]

"I… had a look around?" Ussop said uncertainly.

"I-if we get into an emergency, then I can't treat you without my equipment!" Chopper panicked.

Luffy thought for a moment. "Fine. England, how long will it take for you to send us through the gate?"

"Shouldn't take that long. I just need to draw this…" He sketched a few circles onto a large piece of paper… the same on that Romania used to explain magic. "Done."

"That was… a little too fast…" I said. "I thought that there would be something more… elaborate."

England shrugged. "You'd be surprised how simple magic can be once you get past the first hurdles."

"That's not what I meant…"

"You all will have to stand on this circle," said England. "Whoever's unconscious you'll have to carry."

Luffy picked up the rest of us, and shouted, "All right then, LET'S GO!"

England began to chant, and the circles began to glow in response. "Any second now…"

There was a flash of light, and my body began to feel light…

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

The next thing I knew, John was shaking me awake. "Tashigi!" he said sharply.

"John…?" I mumbled.

"We're back!"

I looked around. Thriller Bark… "Ah… England's spell did work after all," I said. "There's the ship- Wait a minute…"

"What is it?" Mark asked. "Don't tell me you left something behind…"

"No, that's not it," I said. "Come to think of it… Romano forced Gekko Moriah to release all of the shadows, right?"

"Right…?" Smith said testily.

"Did anyone _actually_ beat that guy?"

There was an awkward silence. "Don't tell me…" groaned Smoker.

X (Nami POV)

We found the Thousand Sunny right where we left it. "Now that Brooke has his shadow back, he can join the crew, right!?" Luffy shouted. He appeared to have forgotten all about Ace…

"Yoohooohooo!" Brooke shouted. "Time to play _that_ song! Just let me bring my instruments on board!"

Brooke ran off to his ship, leaving us waiting. Robin got up from her seat and walked towards the starboard side of the ship, where the sun was rising. I could barely hear what she said, but I heard these words. "So… I'll see you again… Cap'n."

X (Sealand POV)

Jerk-England was exhausted for the rest of the day. Once I woke up, I saw him sleeping on the ground, next to a sheet of paper covered in runes. I picked him up and laid him onto Norway's sofa.

"S-Sealand…?" England murmured.

"Yes, Jerk-England?" I said.

"I-Is… did they g-get back all right?" he asked.

"Well, they don't appear to be here right now, so… yes?"

"G-good…"

I looked at the sheet of paper. Hey… I saw this paper before, back at the party. Romania used it to explain how dimensional travelling works… Did England draw this on the back? I turned it over. Sure enough, Romania's explanation was there. I turned it back, and looked at the elaborate runes. "Did you draw all this?" I asked.

Jerk-England looked at me. "You can… see them?"

"Why shouldn't I?" I asked. "They're right here…"

England gave me a serious look. "So… you can see magical runes that most people can't… Sealand."

"Yes?"

"I think your magical ability is awakening."

THE END… kind of. There will be a sequel!

[1] America having the best economy- I think. Remember that this takes place in the 90's… 1995 to be exact.

[2] Commonwealth of Independent States- After the Soviet Union fell; Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine formed that organization. It invited all former Soviet states into it. By 1995, all Soviet states joined: Except for the Baltics. To this day, the Baltics were the only ones that haven't joined. Interesting…

[3] Tashigi and micronations- Remember that Tashigi lives in a world where there are no countries, so she can't quite grasp the concept of a micronation.

[4] Romania, fastest land animal- I used Romania to explain all unanswered questions, or at least the ones I found. The cheetah was a reference to _Airplane_, where the Information Desk actually provided any information, made clear when a man asked what the fastest land animal was.

[5] The armlet, all the items Norway referred to- All from Norse mythology. Just look up the story of Sif's hair, and all the items are somehow related to that.

[6] April 19, human sacrifice- I looked up a date for occult celebrations, and I found a website saying that the Illuminati preformed human sacrifices on several days. This one involved fire…

[7] Mini Going Merry, never using it- In the original One Piece, they used the Mini Going Merry to get to Thriller Bark. But since I cut to the chase with an earthquake, it never got used. I used Nami to refer to that fact.

TIME FOR THE THANKS!

Thank you, all of you who took the time to read! Thank you, all who took their precious time to review! And thank you, all of you for staying with me for forty chapters!

So… the sequel! It will be a Harry PotterxHetalia x-over!

Look out for… drumroll, please…

RECIPE FOR DISASTER AND HILARITY!

Okay, I admit it. Even though it does take place right after this fic, I'm not going to be annoying and make it a DIRECT sequel. Some events will be used as a springboard, but I'm not going to make it totally confusing for people who haven't read this. Although, if you ARE this far, it probably wouldn't matter as much…

Soooo~…

See you next time! Zantersuken Reverse, signing out.


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